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The Dumbest Person I Know

The Dumbest Person I Know

Angry kid wearing a hoodie

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Black and white photo of teacher standing at front of classroom

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Apple sitting on top of a pile of books, next to colored pencils and ABC blocks.

Surprising Things Teachers Did That Somehow Didn't Get Them Fired

Teachers Share The Worst Thing A Student Has Ever Done In Their Classroom

Teachers Share The Worst Thing A Student Has Ever Done In Their Classroom

Students Share The Weirdest Thing They've Ever Caught Their Teacher Doing

Students Share The Weirdest Thing They've Ever Caught Their Teacher Doing

People Share The Most Savage Thing A Teacher Has Ever Said To Them

I'll never raise my hand again!

People Share The Most Savage Thing A Teacher Has Ever Said To Them
Photo by airfocus on Unsplash

Teachers, educators, and coaches are people too.

In fact, they are some of the wittiest people around, you'd have to be to deal with some of the fools, neh, students they see on a daily basis.

More educators should probably go into stand-up comedy but past students and institutions who employed them wouldn't be able to handle it.

Teachers... write down your best thoughts, make t-shirts, you could use the extra income.

Redditor areaditor wanted everyone who has been vanquished by a teacher to speak out by asking...

What is the most savage thing a teacher has ever said to you?

Better You.....

Giphy

"After getting hit in the eye with a softball during PE, and almost being knocked the heck out, He said to me 'Son, it could have been worse, could have been my eye!'"

H3nrikL4rsson

Simmer Down....

"Not me, but a classmate of mine who put on his sunglasses in class:"

"'Take off those sunglasses, your future ain't that bright."'

Rooshmie

"Teacher here: my go to line for a comment like that is 'Still getting paid, you're not!"'

skinnerwatson

Oh Jared....

"Not me but my best friend. In Social Studies the teacher was giving a lecture and my friend, let's call him Jared, was talking crap to some friends at the back of the room. He said something about his penis, as high school kids do. Well, from the front of the class comes a real snappy line from the teacher, 'This is social studies Jared, not microbiology!"'

In_Shambles

Hey Sister....

"We were sitting around at the end of shop class just talking sh!t until the bell rang. One student asked the teacher if he knew how to get 4 gay guys to sit on a stool. The teacher didn't know so the student turned over his stool so all 4 legs were pointing up."

"We all laughed and then the teacher said they had the same joke back in his day except it was about how to get 4 sorority girls to sit on a stool. The student thought that version was way better and started laughing even harder. Then the teacher says, 'Isn't your sister a sorority girl?"'

"The look on the students face was priceless."

BaconConnoisseur

Physics....

Giphy

"After building trebuchets to launch golf balls in physics, we were doing our tests and someone's went off center on a swing and threw a ball in my direction, hitting me in the head surprisingly hard (actually got a minor concussion from it and it split the skin open)."

"Seeing me grabbing my head and bleeding, my teacher laughs and says 'maybe itll fix the part of your brain that makes you like you are.'"

grootbutmadeofbamboo

Simple Destination. 

"In high school, the yearbook committee did a thing where we went to different teachers and asked where they saw random seniors in ten years time, and put the quotes in the yearbook When I gave the name of one of my friends to our English teacher, she simply said:"

"'Jail.'"

ShoddyBiscotti1

You're no T! 

"Not to me but my P.E. teacher once told a boy in the changing rooms, before we went out for football, to take all his jewelry off. He had about 2 chains on his neck, an earring and maybe some more stuff, I can't remember. But it was hilarious to have the teacher say 'Who you trying to be, Mr. T or something?"'in front of all the boys in his class."

comrade_batman

"Football Play"

"One of my football buddies got his essay back, and the teacher put the mark, and F or D- or whatever in the top corner, then drew on the top a 'Football Play'... except instead of the end zone he labeled it the 'failure zone' and showed my friend ending up there."

billbapapa

Having Nada. 

"Once my P.E teacher said that they have mirrors in the gym to check you posture. I said no, it's to take photos and flex. Then he said, you've got nothing to show off."

edwardio0

365 and Waiting....

Giphy

"After finishing my lap of the field for rugby training and giving out times for the team my coach/teacher said; 'i would have timed you but I didn't bring my calendar.'"

EmergencyBerry

"this is boring"

"Upon hearing groans following an instruction to get into groups or whatever: 'Christ, you want some cheese to go with that whine? Just move!' Upon receiving an essay/report with almost zero punctuation: 'This <writing> is so bad it should be on toilet paper. It's textual diarrhoea. It gave me pinkeye just to look at it.'"

"When students complain that 'this is boring': 'Boredom is a thing that happens in your head. So there are no boring activities, only boring people. Lift your game, Tyler.'" 'Oh you lost your pen? I teach. What's my job? (You're a teacher) Right. And you lose things. What does that make you?'"

slatboyfim

absolute disgrace...

"For our Christmas concert I was playing 1st Cornet (small trumpet) and I neglected to wear completely black shoes (they had a white stripe around the rim of the sole). When my brass instructor found out (10 minutes before we were about to go on stage) he fixed me with one of the most intense, burning glares and stated 'you are an absolute disgrace' in a cold tone that was dripping with disappointment and barely repressed rage. He was my favorite teacher who was a super chill guy. I looked up to and respected a lot, but damn, music teachers on concert nights... a completely different beast."

Usidore_

Name It

"It wasn’t said to me directly but rather done to me. I’m a female with a male middle name. We had at least 4 other girls in the class with the same first name as me so I volunteered to be called by my middle name. By the time I got home the male teacher had called my mom to tell her I wanted to be referred to by my male name, as if to say there was something wrong with that."

JazzyDip333

That Sting

Jimmy Fallon Omg GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy

"My 8th grade math teacher blasted me to the rest of the class after a test. 'I won't say the name of the student with the lowest score but his initials are *my name*.' That stung a bit."

CrystalLakeKiller

In a chem class...

"This happened to a friend of mine. In a chem class the teacher was explaining the process by which atoms become ions. He said that metals lose electrons while nonmetals gain electrons. He summarized the point and said: 'nonmetals are gainers and metals are losers' after a quick scan of the room he turns to my friend and says: 'I guess you are a metal then.'"

areaditor

Just like Bruce Banner...

"Neither were towards me, but my history teacher was a freaking madman with his savagery:"

"I was chewing gum and a girl put her hand up and snitched on me for it. He looked at her and said 'This is why people f**king bully you.'"

"Later that year he got into an argument with some moron in my class who was trying to be bada**. The kid straight up paraphrased Bruce Banner and said (and I quote) 'Don't piss me off, you dead a** would hate me pissed off.' The legend that was Mr Summers replied, 'I hate you anyway. Get out.'"

Sad_Dong

Love/Hate

"'I really like you as a person, but I hate you as a student.'"

"My French teacher told me this when I was in high school, during this period where I was really depressed and self-destructive and on the verge of flunking out. Having her be so honest with me and pointing out that I was wasting my potential, but at the same time saying I was a good person, made me want to do better and eventually I did."

-eDgAR-

That's ME!

Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy

"Guidance counselor while simultaneously looking over my transcripts and aptitude test scores:"

"'Well it looks like you're a classic under-achiever.'"

mcagood1

Oh Dear

"My friend told me that her teacher told her at age 12 that she would be the most successful of all girls because of her big boobs. (Mind you same friend who speaks five languages, brilliant and was a junior Olympian level swimmer)..."

rfd2115

Kids are absolutely savage. But teachers can dish it right back!

Do you have similar stories? Share them in the comment section below!

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teachers

The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient

Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'

surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

Keep reading...Show less
healthcare

Savage!: The Most Devastating Curse-Free Insults

shallow focus of a woman's sad eyes
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

curse-free insults

People Share The Dumbest Reason They Ever Got Fired From Their Job

office full of desks and workers

Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.

Eventually they were found.

On the floor.

Under their desk.

Sleeping.

They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.

While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.

Keep reading...Show less
work

People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody

Two people on their first date
Photo by Jarritos Mexican Soda on Unsplash

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.

first date fails