Almost all of us have daydreamed about quitting a crappy job in an awesome way. We imagine a moment when we know quitting would have the biggest impact and savoring the wicked pleasure of choosing THEN to just... walk away.
God it sounds so satisfying.
One Reddit user wanted to talk to folks who've gotten to live the dream, so they asked:
What's your "Fck this, I quit!" story?
Come, let the heroes tell their tales.
Industrial Drilling
I fractured my orbital socket in an industrial drilling accident. Another employee lost focus at the wrong time was supposed to wait for a hand signal and didn't. We had been working over 90 days straight of 13-14 hour shifts and living in crappy motel a 45 min drive from out work site. We were supposed to be on a rotation were we didn't work more than 3 weeks at a time. It was a close call and could have been a lot worse. I'm glad I "saw it coming" and had time to at least try and get out of the way.
I got sent away after a night in the ER while the rest of that crew continued to work. After spending 2 or 3 days at home the boss called to say that he "needed me in Alaska" in 2 days and that my flight was already booked. Told him I quit right on the spot.
Plot Twist
Was getting screamed at in a meeting by some marketing jerk that was literally demanding my technical group perform magic on a completely unrealistic time schedule with almost no resources. Literally screaming at me in front of about 8 of my peers, calling me incompetent, "just do your job"....all of that.
I stood up, said I refuse to be talked to like that, and left the meeting. Normally if you just get up and leave these types of meetings, you're fired. Boss scheduled a meeting with me later in the afternoon after hearing about it. Figured I'd be walked out and was absolutely ready .. was told they fired the marketing guy.
That was going to be my "eff it, I quit" moment - but the company kept me on and fired the other guy. Pretty happy, it's been a solid place to work ever since.
Thanks, Mom
GiphyMy mom had an 'I quit' moment so she could see me. I was studying overseas and my parents booked a trip to come out at the end of the school term, bringing along my 2 siblings - 1 who lived away from home, the other about to start college.
It was a month long trip, with lots of pre-paid flights, trains, hotels plus it would likely be the last big trip we all took together. Obviously, both my parents requested and secured approved PTO months in advance. It was the month of June - typical summer vacation.
A couple days before the trip was to happen, my mom's boss hands her an assignment. Mom hands it back, saying she can't take it on as she has a month long vacation about to start. (My folks don't believe in hyperbole, but trip of a lifetime would be a fair description). Boss says, oh yea, sorry, you can't take vacation anymore. Mom says if you cancel my PTO, I quit. Boss, blank stare.
Mom handed in her notice and left. We had an amazing trip. She got a new job on return.
Better Than Falling Asleep At The Wheel
I was a truck driver working a regional route that required me working nights. So basically I would drive all through the night, deliver a load, sleep through the day, and take a load back to my original place the next night.
The thing is, sleeping during the day at a warehouse where yard dogs (the guys that move trailers around the lot of the warehouse with little tractor deals) were constantly moving stuff around, knocking into my truck, and often times literally waking me up to move my truck.
I was barely getting any sleep and the only time I had to ever get a good nights rest was during the weekend.
So driving to my first delivery, I told my manager I'm taking an extra day off because I'm exhausted and I have to get a few days of sleep. I was literally getting maybe 3-4 hours of solid sleep a day and energy drinks were worthless at this point. They gave me the go ahead, I dropped my delivery, slept as best as I could at the warehouse and picked up the load to take back with a message from my managers telling me to have a good weekend and rest up.
When I was about an hour and half away from my destination, after driving all night for about 8 hours reaching pure exhaustion, I get a message saying "never mind We need you to work this weekend"
Mind you, I know this stuff happens and you sometimes have to pick up the slack of other employees at times. Things happen, I get it and 99% of the time I'm all for helping out other employees and my managers if they need it.
But this was about the third time this happened. I haven't had a good nights sleep in 3 weeks at this point and I kept trying to call my managers or anyone who would answer me, but it was the weekend and no one would respond to their messages or phone calls. I was literally being ignored and I just snapped.
Luckily, the demand for truckers is massive. I mean I get texts non stop asking if I'm in the market because a company needs drivers. I haven't even been in the industry for two years currently and my phone still gets blown up with calls and texts asking if I want to drive again.
So literally all I did was call one of the numbers that would contact me constantly and immediately was hired after 5 minutes of talking on the phone. Sent in a message saying I quit and good luck.
Funny enough THEN they started responding to my messages and tried calling me.
I know it was probably a dick move and I normally would never do that, but I just broke and could not take it anymore.
"Mandatory Non-Paid Vacation"
My first job... I was assigned to a specific area, and I thought I was doing my job well. One Monday, I was pulled in to the office and asked why (whatever thing it was, I don't remember) hasn't been done for the last two weeks. I replied i wasn't aware it was part of my duties. My supervisor said he was putting me on a "mandatory non-paid vacation" for two weeks. No warning, no explanation on why I all of a sudden had to do work for a different department. So I said "don't worry about it, I quit."
It was a lousy job anyway, I was only getting paid 18 hours a week but was doing more than that! Sixteen and stupid, I guess!
Forced
I worked for a group home. We had a difficult group of residents, but the company made things so much worse.
Every resident was 14-22 years old. They had moderate mental development delays (65-75 IQ range), they all had a psychiatric disorder (from severe ADHD to schizophrenia), and they had also all been convicted of a violent sexual crime.
I worked 3rd shift. My normal hours were 10:30pm to 9am. Four days a week.
About six months into working there, they did a massive layoff.
They went down to bare minimum staff to student ratio each shift, with nobody extra to call in if needed. That meant if someone called out, a person on the previous shift was forced to stay.
It got to the point, where I was being forced 3 out of 4 shifts per week. And not just a few hours. I was working 10:30 pm to around 4:30 pm the next day, and still having to come in for my following shift. I had an hour commute each way.
So I'd get home at 5:30 pm from a 16 hour shift, and have to leave the house again four hours later.
Managed that for about a month. Then one morning I was told last minute I was being forced. Told them I was done and walked out.
That month took a huge toll on my mental health. Swear it took me like a year to recover.
In Training
GiphyA little Greek Restaurant I worked at early in high school.
Got hired, and spent the first two days cleaning everything the owner and son were to lazy to clean. Years worth of old grease in the deep fryer's interior, mold in the fridges, stains in the bathrooms etc. Just fcking gross.
I asked about payday on the end of the second day and it went something like this:
"So, how does payday work here? Is it weekly, bi-weekly, what?"
"You are on training, if we like the job you do we will hire you with pay".
Confused, I ask "So you're saying that you're not going to pay me for cleaning years worth of mold, grease, and bathroom stains?"
"No, you will be paid for work once your training is done"
"Oh! Ok. F*ck this, I quit"
How Was Your Weekend
After taking a few days off work while my father was having a brain tumor removed (and still checking emails and attending conference calls from the hospital) my boss gave me a new project.
She gave me a Monday morning deadline for a project that would take 6-8 days to complete - on a Thursday afternoon. I worked 16 hours a day to get it done. When we met on Monday she asked how my weekend was: "I worked all weekend." Then she asked if I got to visit my dad in the hospital "No, I didn't get a chance because i worked all weekend."
A couple weeks later she pulled me into a meting and said "I feel like you were resentful because you had to work and I feel like I was really good when your dad was sick, maybe you're just tired. Are you tired?"
She'd also make comments when I would leave the office on time - not early, on time. "It's great that you just get up and go when your day is over, like I have to go because I have a daughter, but you don't have any kids and you still just leave at the end of the day"
um yeah, i don't live here. i don't go home and sit in a dark room counting the hours until i get to come back here. i'm also not curing cancer, nothing we do here matters to anyone outside of here. i give you 100% when i'm here, but when my day is done, it's done.
I no longer work there.
Tire-d
I worked for a big chain tire store in a very rich part of town for a while. I was overqualified for the job, but its what was hiring. One day I get a call saying another tech got fired for failing a pee test.
I get in and our lead tech comes in with a torn bicep and has to be gone for a few months.
So I'm now the most knowledgeable person in the shop, taking on a ton of extra duties and extra hours. So working 60+hrs a week as the only tech with ANY diagnostic abilities I ask for a raise/promotion. That's not what happened.
Instead, the guy that was hired on a week earlier, was an amazing tire buster but couldn't do any mechanical repair past changing an air filter, got a double promotion and a dollar per hour raise.
Put in my notice on the spot.
- xJD88x
Parents Explain Why They Regret The Name They Gave Their Child | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Bait And Switch
Got a summer job while I was in high school at a place that made fibreglass tanks. I was told I'd be doing grounds keeping and yard work. Figured I'd scored an easy gig of bombing around on a ride-on mower and whatnot.
NOPE.
The first day I show up, in a t shirt and jeans, I was told the yard equipment 'wasn't 'ready'. So they had me cut raw fibreglass for 8 hours with an exacto-knife and no ppe. Being a dumb kid who didn't know any better, I didn't immediately quit and did this for three more days. At least after the first day I'd brought my own gloves and long sleeve shirt.
On day three they were doing tank coatings. So about ten feet away from me are two dudes in full PPE. We're talking coveralls, rubber gloves, glasses, face shields, and respirators. Ten feet away from me. In a poorly ventilated room. Spraying the exterior of a tank with presumably fibreglass coating.
I only made it a few hours before having to go to the bathroom to puke. I was told to quit being a p*ssy and go back out on the floor. That's when I, fortunately, had a moment of not being a stupid kid and said "I quit" and walked home.
Both parents were mad when I told them I'd quit. Joke's on them though because a few years later that company killed two dudes. A guy asphyxiated while working inside one of the tanks and the person that tried to rescue him also ended up dying. Whole place got shut down permanently.
Google?
Joined a call center with the obvious shady pay structure. They said the calls are inbound so I thought hey that's not too bad then. Turns out the inbound calls were generated by their robocall system indirectly implying that they were google but never saying so and we were directed to use some dubious answer if someone asked 'Are you google?'
After getting yelled at and cussed out and constantly getting people who had been called many times before and were clearly irate, I just got up and left in the middle of the day.
I also complained to google that these guys were pretending to be google. And these guys were scared of getting complaints like that.
Donut Strep
Had a super s****y job at a donut shop. I was promised a raise, which I never received.
We always worked alone at the shop, so I never got to know anyone else, never got their phone numbers. Yet the non-written policy was that you would find someone to cover your shifts.
One day, I woke up and knew immediately that I had strep throat. Went to the doctor and he confirmed that it was strep, and it was really bad. Worst I have ever had it. So knowing that I was contagious for at least 2 days, and knowing that I shouldn't be around people or food, and am not even able to speak, I texted my boss.
I didn't have a shift scheduled until the next day. Told her I won't be in for at least a week because of my strep. She told me I will have to find someone to cover my shifts. I told her that's not possible because I don't have anyone's number, I can't speak, and in all honesty was in so much pain I just wanted to pass out. She told me that if I cannot find someone to cover, I will have to come in. And if I don't come in I won't have a job. I replied with "cool, guess I don't have a job then"
I returned my gear 2 weeks later once I had recovered. Never spoke again
- [reddit]
Denial
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphyKinda long, sorry. I was a manager at a company where the executives were ineffective. I worked 60 hours a week most of the time and had to do all of my director's duties because he didn't understand our systems. The work environment was also pretty hostile and passive aggressive.
People cried on the job daily in other departments, slightly less in mine. Managers and staff would snap at other departments the same way the executives did because of the stress. I tried to take care of my department and make sure they weren't being abused or taken advantage of.
I had three days leave for a death in the family, but had to work every day from home and the funeral itself. It was especially vexing because it was to re-do the same thing every day that my boss would just forget to complete and need done again the next day. I brought this to his attention, as well as all the other issues, and he said he would try to do better. Months went by and it got worse.
Finally, our team sat down with him and told him things needed to change. I told him that the environment was more hostile and aggressive than ever and the team agreed. He told me that was my perception and we needed an attitude change, then left for a meeting (which I had provided him the data for). I cleared out my desk and left, quit with HR.
For me the kicker is that he kept assigning me tasks and insisted that I was still working there for days. Never been more relieved to quit in my life.
Leaving For School
My old boss had been emotionally/mentally manipulative to the staff. There was a high turnover rate and it always came back to them. It came to the point where we staff members were wondering how they weren't reported (we worked at a daycare). I'd been there for 2.5 years and can honestly say it was like a roller coaster.
What got me to quit was the fact that I was being yelled and told off for things that had nothing to do with my work and had to do with another staff member. By the end of it I had enough and was getting very annoyed by the situation and decided I'll go back to school. I got accepted to a college program and gave in my 2 weeks.
I asked if I could tell the parents that I'll be leaving and they told me that it wouldn't be appropriate.
At that moment I knew that I really didn't care.
So I told the other staff this they said 'Yeh no, this won't do' and proceeded tell everyone that I was leaving for school and the parents and staff members gave me gifts. My boss, on the other hand, ignored my existence and I gave zero fcks about it :)
Nights Crying Over Physics And Algebra
I have struggled for 3 years of my high school getting academic awards and working to attend a recognition event. This semester, I found myself doing great, making A's, and getting that recognition.
Until the pandemic, which made the school discard all the scores since we're "repeating from scratch after the lockdown."
I lost hope. My restless nights crying over physics and algebra were wasted. I feel so unmotivated now and that made me say "Fck this, I quit!"
When Basic Sanitation "Wasn't Important"
When I was a young teenager, the only job that would hire kids under 16 was dishwashing and food-prepping at a local restaurant. I started to get irked when I realized they made their pizza sauce from scratch by sticking THEIR ENTIRE BARE ARM into the bin so they could squeeze the tomato chunks away. I had to do this several times, and got grossed out thinking about arm hair and skin cells even though I washed it. First strike.
One busy Friday night, the mostly toothless crackhead-looking chef lost the nicotine gum she had been chewing. We never found it. Could be in someone's colon to this day. Second strike.
Finally, 3 months into the job, one of the workers came over with their big tub of barbecue sauce. It was Sweet Baby Ray's in a container similar to a milk jug, a LOT of barbecue sauce. This woman, I swear on my life, sets it down in front of me and says, "I've been working here for 9 months, and I've never seen anyone wash this. So you probably should." I open it, and there's thick LAYERS of hardened, crusty barbecue coating the inside. I had to use a little tool that resembled a toothbrush, but with wire bristles, to scrape it off. The blokes had been refilling it for months without rinsing it out. Took me almost an hour to fully clean, and I got in trouble for falling behind in dishes by doing something "that wasn't important." Third strike, I was outta there.
I quit after the boss called me into his safe room to lecture me about arguing with my coworkers that it was disgusting and should've been done a long time ago.
Save The Wood, Ignore The Injury
I accepted a job for minimum wage at a sawmill.
Spent the morning there running the timber through the mill without gloves and hearing protection. Neither was offered by the company. During the half hour lunch break I couldn't get my ears to stop ringing.
Went back to work, started working again and injured my hand. I started bleeding (just a little) and got a but of blood on a piece of lumber. The boss was right there and started walking over right away.
I was explaining that I wasn't really hurt, but he walked right past my hand and examined the wood. During the afternoon break I got in my car and went home. Never got paid for that.
3 Weeks
I was working for a landscaping company and had to be there really early every day. Started on a Monday. We were supposed to get paid every week. Thursday morning was supposed to be payday; but not for me because they held the first week.
Thursday morning came around and the supervisor came out to the job site and told the other guys on the crew that they weren't going to get paid again. They complained that they hadn't been paid in 3 weeks.
Before the supervisor even finished his argument I walked over to my car and went home. Didn't even say goodbye. Got a check for that 6 weeks later.
It Changed Overnight
I had a good job with a local theater, but it went under from mismanagement so I grabbed the first job I could find - retail at a pet store. Didn't pay well, but it hired, so it was better than nothing.
I grew up on a farm, had worked retail before, I'm good with register, and I believe in giving my job my best, so I quickly became the store leader's favorite out of a sea of teenagers trying to have a fun part time job.
Worked there for two years with 0 problems. Loved my job, loved my coworkers, still didn't pay much and it was a 30min commute, but I had no other social life in the area aside from my wife, so I had no problem staying.
All of a sudden my store leader was transferred after another store's manager walked out. Normally, another manager I liked would have been promoted - but as this was unexpected he had just been promoted elsewhere, and they had to get the 3rd in command manager to become the store leader.
Third in command is someone who is hyper-dedicated to his job. Hospitals wish their doctors cared as much as this retail monkey.
Everything went from a fun and casual atmosphere to working on a chain gang over night. Everyone hated him, everyone complained, and shit rapidly escalated as we found he had a horrible temper. He wrote up an 80 year old for coming in 5 minutes late after church, broke our only store phone in a rage after someone lost the other one, broke his own watch throwing it at an employee, etc.
Somehow I avoided his wrath for months, until the old manager asked if I could transfer stores to work with him again. I told him I would think about it, but I liked my coworkers and they asked me not to go. Few days later, after I've told my new manager I probably won't take the offer, my wife drops me off at work.
I text her, telling her when to pick me up, and my new manager comes into the BREAK ROOM to yell at me for being on my phone on the clock. I apologize. Hours later I'm responding to my wife saying she'll come for me, in a back room, and he bursts in to yell at me again. Turns out he had spent the entire day following me around to make sure I didn't text again.
Told him mid-scream I would be transferring. He spent the next two weeks begging me to stay, but I stuck it out and went to the new store.
Made new friends at the new store. Got a promotion a YEAR LATER, because it turns out the d-bag manager had written me up without telling me and I couldn't get promoted for a year over it.
Pretty much all of my old coworkers have left now, and he apparently made another manager cry hysterically and quit on the spot so I'm damn glad I transferred.
Adults Who Still Need A Stuffed Animal To Go To Sleep Share Their Experiences
Reddit user Old-Horse1185 asked: '34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental object. Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?'
Stuffies, plushies, stuffed animals, or plush toys; whatever you might call them, we likely all can remember a fluffy friend we had in our childhood.
But some adults might have carried their childhood friend into adulthood, or even made others along the way, and they might even still go to sleep with them at night, too.
Redditor Old-Horse1185 asked:
"34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental objects."
"Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?"
The Twin Bond
"My twin sister died when I was 18. Ten years later, I still sleep with her unicorn pillow pet, she gets a nice spot on the bed, and I'd never be with someone who made me feel bad about having it. Only my girlfriend is trusted enough to give pillow pet a bath."
- insomniacinsanity
"My twin brother died when we were seven, and I used to have a specific stuffie that was given to him by an American lady who worked in the hospital he was in, but it got damaged in a house move when I was a teenager and was unsalvageable."
"It was a limited-run stuffie that you could only get in a specific American store in the 90s, so it was basically irreplaceable. My husband, 10+ years later and without letting on, tracked one down and paid a silly amount of money to have it shipped to the UK and gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago."
"I sleep with it every d**n night. I'm mid-30s, and I'll never stop."
- beesandsids
Keeping Them Close
"My partner passed away a few weeks ago, and I now cuddle his shirts that still have his scent. When my son spends the night with his grandparents, I also cuddle w his blanket or the pillow he sleeps on."
- anonmomanonnin
Cuddles and Fidgets
"My grandma made me a pillow when I was born. She sewed the pillow together and the pillow case, which had kittens all over it."
"I’m 33 years now she passed when I was 31, and I sleep with the same pillow in my arms every night."
"The pillow case is worn to bits because I guess I use it as a fidget thing I rub in between my fingers. Yes, I’m weird."
- Valuable_Panda_4228
From the Beyond
"I bought my wife a big stuffed seal for our first Valentine's Day. This seal has a slight green tint to it, so we named him Sealo Green. She had Sealo for a couple of years before she passed away."
"I hug Seal-o every night and pray to my wife, tell her about my day, things coming up, etc. I'll start using her perfume on Sealo soon, so I can smell her while I pray to her. My heart can't take it right now."
- Cubbycupcake-Uther
A Gift from Grandma
"I am one. My grandma gave all the grandkids a cat plush. A cat food brand had a promotion, if you bought enough cat food you'd get a free plushie. With 14 grandkids, a lot of food was bought to get there. Her cats didn't complain though, lol (laughing out loud)."
"I still sleep with it, it's a feeling of comfort, safety, and home."
- DavyJonesLocker2
An Evolving Friendship
"Stuffed dog I've had since my mom was squeezing him while giving birth to me. That dog has seen some s**t."
"He's a 'Sad Sam,' and his eyes used to break my heart when I was a kid, so I buried him under other stuffed animals or made him face the wall so I wouldn't have to look at him."
"Then I felt really guilty because I didn't want him to feel punished when all he wanted was to be loved. So I've been sleeping with him for almost 40 years now."
"I recently bought an original one off eBay to see the comparison and man, I have loved the daylights out of that dog!"
- dumdadumdumAHHH
A Special Bond
"I now sleep with my girlfriend's stuffed bunny she has had since birth. He’s my best friend now! I love you, Bootstin!!"
- silversauce
"Aww, that's awesome. My partner is the only person I've ever been with who didn't make me feel like crap for still having my blanket. When I travel, I leave it with them, and I think they probably cuddle up with it as much as I do after a rough day."
- the_Ozz
Keeping a Partner Close
"Sometimes when I take a nap and my wife doesn't, I'll take her pillow to sleep with because I like the smell."
"It smells like baby powder, vanilla, and her."
- TrailerParkPrepper
Very Considerate
"Huge jellycat bears. I don’t even wanna, but I’m just afraid I’ll hurt their feelings if I don’t."
- CommonAd9606
"As a kid, I routinely slept with a zillion stuffed animals on the bed because I didn’t want any of them to feel left out."
- PumaGranite
"As a kid? I'm 26 and still have to hug them all as I go to sleep or they'll feel left out!"
- Scymber
Lower Back Pain
"I sleep with a body pillow (plain cover). Doctor recommended it a few years ago to help with my lower back pain and it really does help."
- HappyTimeHollis
"I sleep with a body pillow but it's an alligator. My grandparents gave it to me when I was 11 years old. It has a huge open mouth you can put your arm through or use to prop your phone. Had it 24 years. Love it to death."
- smoretank
Full Body Support
"Squishmallows. I have sciatica and they're great for when I go to bed. I put one between my knees at night (side sleeper) and I snuggle up with one."
- Raging_Utahn
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty
"I'm not one to sleep with plushies, but my cat likes to snuggle up to me and sleep with his fluffy little head on my shoulder."
- imaybeacatIRL
"Cats have to count. My previous cat actually slept as the little spoon, snuggled in my arms."
- disapprovingfox
The Long-Distance Relationship
"I am a guy, I recently got to sleep with a stuffed animal for a week, I won't go into the details as to why or how, just know that I lovvveeeed it. I would get called a weirdo if I confess to this to the world, so I have kept this to myself and my bestie only."
"The stuffed animal was a large teddy bear, since then it has been taken away and now it is placed in the living room, my bedroom has one small stuffed toy that I sleep with, it's not super large and not as comfortable as the teddy but it works."
"It makes me feel good and less alone, the closest person in the world to me is 700km away, what I'm about to say is weird but hugging the teddy and pretending it's her makes me calm and makes me want to sleep."
- uninformed-but-smart
Build a Friend... with IKEA
"Ikea Hippo, Ikea Elephant. The Ikea bigs are the superior sleep companion. I also have the shark, but he is not right for my shoulder when cuddling so he guards."
- pm-me-neckbeards
"I also keep my Ikea shark on guard at night! The Ikea octopus is the guard when I sleep at my boyfriend’s house."
- jeff-buckleys-teeth
A Comfort Become Real
"When I was a toddler, I got a stuffed animal as a present from my uncle. It was a light brown rabbit with button eyes and ears with rainbow stripes on the inside. I'm unsure of when I got it, but I was either one to two years old or four years old."
"I don't know how or why, but it had a distinct scent, not particularly noticeable unless you shoved your face in its fur, like I did, haha. As I grew up, I needed to have this rabbit with me or I would not be able to sleep. I remember this one time when I couldn't find it in time for bed, and I was so distressed trying to fall asleep that I started hallucinating."
"Over time she lost an eye, her ears became frayed, her fur fell out in patches, and she looks like a well-loved creature (because she is) or hot garbage, depending on who you ask."
" Even in my rebellious teen years, I couldn't pretend to dislike her because the scent and texture of her fur gave me a feeling of comfort and safety, even when it felt like everyone was against me."
"I live by myself now at age 34 and you better believe I still keep her in my bed. The scent is gone but sometimes I can trick my brain into thinking it's still there, and when I touch the texture of her fur, I will still get a wave of comfort and reassurance the same way I did as a child."
"It's amazing not only how humans will bond with anything, but also the effect these things will have on a person."
"This got sappy, my apologies."
"PS: Her name is Ninni."
- Mwuuh
"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'"
"I'm reminded of this quote from 'The Velveteen Rabbit.'"
- tinycole2971
While everyone might feel a little silly about their sleeping arrangements, most of those who still sleep with a cuddly friend have spent a great deal of their life with their companion already.
From sentimental reasons to physical needs, everyone needs comforted from time to time, and there's nothing quite like the unconditional love of a favorite stuffie friend.
Working remotely from home certainly has its advantages, including not having to endure traffic and deal with coworker drama.
But many people found that during the pandemic, the isolation of working from home left little to be desired.
People who have jobs requiring them to commute every day and arrive at the workplace are given the opportunity to be social and feel like they're a part of society.
But being a part of a work environment can come with its own unique occupational hazards.
Curious to hear from strangers in the workforce, Redditor AMGBOI69420 asked:
"What’s the most f'ked up thing you’ve seen at work?"
People in medical professions draw on their endless list of shocking events.
The Crazy Patient
"I was sorting all the psych patients that were hospitalized in my state, and got to this guy: a teenager or maybe a bit older, and he got sent to the ward because he suddenly got aggressive and started to have some episodes that he squirmed in pain/took off his clothes and things like that. Before being hospitalized he was complaining about these things, but nothing the medics did was working and nothing wrong was found, so it should be a psychiatric issue, no?"
"Wrong, he was put in the ward for 2 or so years and lost a lot of his life, being considered insane, because he developed a rare spinal cancer that was hard to detect and caused him extreme pain. Really f'ked up, I don't remember what happened to him afterward, but I not really optimistic that it had an happy ending."
– vtomal
The First Aid Officer Who Couldn't Unsee These
"I was a first aid officer in a corporate job."
"Elderly pedestrian hit by a car in our car park: compound tib fib fracture that tore through her calf muscle"
"Deep laceration with arterial bleeding after some idiot from another department tripped and dropped a metal first aid down a flight of stairs during a fire drill."
– W2ttsy
Patient Left Against Medical Advice
"Patient comes in to the ER, gets full sepsis workup. His chemistries are all f'ked up, he required a manual white cell count because his was so high the analyzer basically said 'WTF?!', his urine was full of white cells and bacteria. You know, your classic 'old person UTI that's gone septic.' We figure he's going to be admitted. Nope, they send him home. Mind you, this was not a case of 'patient left AMA (against medical advice),' this was just the doctor said 'Yeah, seems like you've got a UTI. Go home and drink some cranberry juice.'"
"Two days later, the same patient comes in, with the same complaint. Gets the same blood and urine tests. While I'm doing the manual white cell count, the phone rings. It's the reference lab down the street. The blood cultures on the patient I'm currently working on from two days prior have come up positive. I take the notification and call the ER to let them know. Us labbies figure he's going to be admitted for sure this time. Come to find out, they sent him home again. (Again, not an AMA, a 'Go home and drink some cranberry juice.')"
– coffeeblossom
Those in customer service share their shocking eye-witness accounts.
Trailblazer
"I worked at one of the busiest Walmarts in the country during Spring Break for 6 years... I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"I guess the drunk lady leaving the bathroom with her pants around her ankles while actively sh*tting as she walked across the front of the building and back outside into the wild."
"None of the workers wanted to deal with it so they parked a shopping cart over each turd until the cleaning crew came in."
– UncleGrako
Slimy Salespeople
"Worked at a Nissan dealership where most salespeople where slimy POS. One senior citizen with a veteran ballcap was working on a deal for a car for his grandkid. Nice old guy got tired and fell asleep in the chair waiting for the salesguy to work out the deal with the sales managers. One of the managers from the bullpen walks by and farts right in the sleeping old mans face then runs back to the bullpen where everyone was watching and laughing. It was disgusting, I told the sales guy who I knew was a Iraq vet. He went to the bull pen and screamed in the face of every single one of those f'kers. He screamed so much at them I thought he was gonna pass out."
– adrielago
Work environments can be extremely dangerous.
"Once saw someone step into a bucket of hot fryer oil, it got into their shoes and everything. Was so bad that when they took the shoe off it peeled of skin with it. The person had 2nd and I believe 3rd degree burns. He never came back but I saw the pictures and it was horrific."
– Mrlionscruff
"I worked at a printing manufacturer and saw something like this happen in person, the guy had his right arm shredded. The wrench in his other hand stopping the machine is the only reason he didn't go all the way through. Later that month a 2400lbs paper roll was dropped on a coworker in front of me. I'm glad to be out of that job."
– Beullersghost
Threatening The Employee
"I worked at a Goodwill for a few years, we had lots of drug addicts trying to shoot up in the changing room and had an occasional OD."
"But the most shocking thing I experienced was the amount of times people physically threatened or attacked me or my co-workers when we refused their donations. Getting in our faces and trying to push us around, one guy tried to hit someone with a car. Another one threw a picture frame that narrowly missed smashing my supervisor's head, another threw such a temper tantrum that he smashed an entire set of chairs and a kitchen table."
"There was also someone who called the police because we changed the prices on soft-cover books."
– carefulwithyrbananas
T.M.I.
"Saw one guy drop dead (office job)"
"One get an arm cut off (Pulp mill)"
"One get de-gloved (Paper mill)"
"But the winner was the day we walked into work at an auto parts store and found the assistant manager f'king another assistant manager. Just going at it."
– Bigdaddyjlove1
Mechanical Nightmare
"Box cutting job saw a guy die after losing his arm to the machine. I still to this day dont know how my room mate at the time kept going to work for another few weeks before quitting."
"We'd go to work stoned off our a**es everyday. And seeing that guy die was a nope for me. I knew it was far to easy for the same mistake to happen to me stoned. Wasn't gonna get sucked in and die for 15 bucks an hr."
"Any heavy machinery related jobs since Ive made sure to ask about work related accidents and how common they are along with when the last one happened."
– idontneedjug
When I was a parade performer at certain theme park, we performed on a day when it was reportedly record-breaking heat, and some of my fellow performers who were dancing atop a couple of the floats collapsed and passed out from heat stroke in view of guests.
It was the scariest thing to see several paramedics bursting onto the scene and taking these unconscious young performers being carried away in stretchers.
Since then, the park instituted a code-90 protocol where the choreography was modified whenever the temperature hit 90 degrees.
Be it desperation, self-indulgence, or simply optimism, many people never leave home without a condom.
If the chances of "getting lucky" are much more likely at some places than others, one never knows where or when they might hit it off with someone.
Including a funeral.
Bizarre and tasteless as that sounds, a recent study reportedly showed that 1 in 8 men under the age of 35 do, in fact, bring condoms with them when attending a funeral, "just in case".
Whether or not these condoms were used, however, is another story entirely.
"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
"There is no 'wrong' way to grieve."- Noctudeit
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesGiphyAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'Never Interrupt An Enemy While They're Making A Mistake'
People will trip themselves up eventually.
Because liars and lunatics always make mistakes.
They may be small mistakes, but they leave just enough room to expose their wicked ways.
Sure we all want to fight off an enemy and be the victor.
But sometimes the victor's greatest weapon is nothing but a little patience.
Then, we celebrate with a smile as we watch the crumble.
And maybe we have a little victory dance.
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.