People Share The Pettiest Reason They've Ever Seen A Couple Divorce
I may sound a bit ghoulish and a little bitter and pessimistic, but I do love a good dramatic ending to a love story. If it has to end let it go out big.
Perhaps that is why some of my favorite shows are daytime dramas or primetime soap operas. Divorce runs rampant in those sources of entertainment and it's enthralling to watch.
Love can be eternal but it can also wither into a cesspool of seething hate and despair. And it's always fascinating to get to the root of how it all unravels.
The ones to discuss these aspects of love with are the ones with a front row seat to the finish.
Redditoru/KarysMRwanted the lawyers out there to tell us some tales about how low some couples can go when the love story is over, by asking:
Lawyers of Reddit, what is the pettiest reason you've ever seen for divorce?
Being a divorce lawyer has go to be an entertaining career. I hope they all keep a journal, because any and all details could make for fascinating television. You change the names to protect the innocent or guilty.
Crumbs...cookie monster eating GIF by University of CaliforniaGiphy
"My father-in-law and mother-in-law's breaking point was when he threw a breadcrumb at her from across the kitchen. The divorce took 4 years to settle."
"A client and his wife came in regarding a real estate transaction. At the end of the consultation, the client casually stated that he would like to divorce his wife. I was stunned, the wife started crying, the client started rubbing his wife's shoulder and told her that everything would be okay. That was an awkward few minutes."
A Bad Lift
"The weirdest I've ever seen is a coworker of mine. His wife saw a picture of him at a pool when he was in high school and really athletic. Toned, muscular, tan and so on. Over the 10 year after high school he stopped lifting and lost his muscle tone and just became skinny."
"She told him she wanted him to get back to working out because she really liked the way he once looked and he said it was something he missed doing and agreed to get a gym membership. He was going to the gym four days a week but was only really working out for two of them."
"On the days he didn't work out he would sit in the sauna to get sweaty, watch Netflix and then go home. When she asked about him going to the gym and accidentally let it slip that he was fudging workouts twice a week. She apparently found that to be a deal breaker and filed for divorce."
"I had a client who with his wife were into a computer game like the Sims only more x rated, I think it was called Second Life, where you have an avatar and can interact with other people's avatars. He suspected his wife of, through her avatar, hijinks and made his own avatar to stalk her in the game. Sure enough her avatar was doing the dirty with some dude's avatar. That was it for my client."
Oh Hell NoPop Tv No GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
"The husband kept putting wet/used towel on their bed."
See these stories keep me sane when I feel lonely. Who in the world needs this kind of madness? This is why I say love can never be fully trusted.
And wet towels on my bed? You're out!
Oh SachaSacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy
"Pam Anderson and Kid Rock simply put 'Borat' as the reason for their divorce. I'd say thats gotta be up there."
"Wife wanted divorce like 2 months into marriage because the husband would squeeze the toothpaste from the top and not bottom. She claims to have told him a million times over to stop. Would have been easier to get 2 tubes of toothpaste I thought."
People Share Which Social Norms Absolutely Baffle Them | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"My wife and I had been using the same toothpaste tube for I dunno 20 years or something. Recently, we had two tubes because I accidentally bought the wrong one. No big, I said she can use the good one and I'll use the crappy one. So after about a week of this, I notice my toothpaste was gross. The opening was half clogged and there was run off into the cap. I had to scrap the crust off just to get to the fresh toothpaste. Next week, same thing. Gross."
"Turns out my wife had been maintaining the toothpaste tube correctly for years! I had no idea that I dispensed paste in a sloppy stupid way. So I asked my wife how to use a freakin' toothpaste tube. Lol... I think I got it mostly right by the time my crappy toothpaste ran out and it was time to go back to shared paste. 😂"
"Nobody ever believes me about this one, but it's true. A man wanted a divorce from his wife because - and he gave this example as the "last straw" - his wife ate those nasty pumpkin Halloween candies, like candy corn but pumpkin shaped. He had been looking forward to them all day and when he got home, she had eaten them all. He snapped. Swear on my life this story is true."
"Definitely the fridge Story!! A woman filed for divorce because her husband would eat everything he can find in their fridge whenever the wife was out for work. So she came back to a basically empty fridge each night. He also cheated on her but she was less angry about that. The fridge was what pushed her to the point she wanted a divorce."
Plan for 5...real housewives of orange county divorce GIFGiphy
"I'm a lawyer but not that kind. However, my brother's 4th wife divorced him because she found out the ring he'd used was originally his 3rd wife's. They deserved each other."
Got to BK!
"Not a lawyer- but apparently my brother divorced his wife when McDonald's forgot to put bbq sauce in with her chicken nuggets at the drive through and she asked him to go back and get some. He didn't and then I guess she started smashing up food and throwing it at him/out the window... so yeah. McDonalds how could you ruin a marriage 😅..."
The Good China
"My Mom's coworker divorced over dishes in the dishwasher. The wife would get so frustrated over the husband (coworker) not rinsing dishes before he loads them in the dishwasher. To compromise, they bought a super nice, top of the line dishwasher. Solves the problem, right? She yelled about the dishes that night. He filed for divorce the next day."
Never Florida!Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy
"I once had clients who got a divorce because she wanted to buy a condo in Naples, Fl. The petty part of the story is that combined their lawyer fees would have bought a very nice condo on the water in Naples."
For the tots...
"My aunt used to work as a divorce lawyer. The worst one was a couple fighting over a hamster (of which took so long the thing died before they were settled). She said it was a bargaining chip to win favor from their children. At that rate just buy another hamster!"
"My ex was like this. Basically gave him everything just so I could leave him. He took most of the money and assets but I got away from him. Yay. Then he blew all his money and abandoned the kids. Seriously struggled to cope with 100% care and cost but wouldn't change it bc I have my kids and they have me. Still, was very hard to come to terms with the injustice. Sigh."
"A woman came in wanting to divorce her husband. He had just gotten a new job and a pretty big raise. It turned out that this new job of his also required that he work from home but he was working in an office before. She was having an affair with their next-door neighbor and him being home more meant that she couldn't cheat on her husband easily. That was definitely a twist. I was expecting something like him being the one having the affair but nope!"
Told you so...
"Not divorced, but annulled on their wedding day. I've told the story a few times on Reddit, so long-story-short-time: She told him several hundred times that if he smashed the cake in her face at the reception, it was over. He did it, she walked out and had it annulled the next day. This was over 30 years ago, btw."
"Someone's husband insisted on bringing their mother to their honey moon. That's when the wife realized his mother was still breastfeeding him. I don't think it was a petty divorce but I think the man is petty. He also made his mom go to court with him, my guess, he was thirsty."
in my face...snow wtf GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy
"Dandruff. Wife didn't like that the husbands dandruff would flow into her face when riding a motorbike."
"The husband could only eat hoagies if they were nailed to a table. So they mostly ate at home where it was ok for him to damage a table. But once time during a roadtrip stopped at a deli. He had the nailgun with him and nailed the hoagie to the table so he could eat. So she divorced him after the vacation."
Ah love, so splendid, so pure. So insane. I'll always hope for a happy ending, but will always stay vigilant and try to not freak about the small things. Maybe that's the key to a happy ending?
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With the world's finances the way they are, it's a miracle if people can save their spare change.
Inflation has a stronghold on too many people.
Sometimes it feels like just breathing can cost you money.
It's hard to make and absurdly easy to lose.
So be vigilant with your wallet.
And try to spend on certain things in moderation.
Going out for meals three times a day adds up.
Even with Wendy's value menu.
Redditor gejiw94601 wanted to compare notes on how money can slip away so easily, so they asked:
"What's the biggest waste of money?"
Money is so easy to lose.
Just ask my best friend... vodka.
WHY?!Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy
"Donating to rich Twitch streamers. I’ll probably never understand why people do it."
"I remember watching one guy drop $60k to Ninja. I was making 30k a year at the time, this guy drop double my salary in one stream."
"Credit Card interest."
"When I first go a credit card I used it only when I was short on cash, but it ended up me throwing money at stupid things because I knew I had a credit card to fall back on if I needed it."
"Now I use my card for the points, and I pay it off about every two weeks. While I'm still not great at adulting, at least I figured out this part."
What about Florida?
"The $50 scratch-off lottery tickets you can buy in Iowa."
"I used to work for the VA lottery. I got to see the numbers, the payout was only about 20% (if that) of profit for scratch-offs. Slightly higher for the draw games. But print-n-play was almost 1-1 for payout vs profit. Don't know how it is now or how other state's payout margins are, but print-n-play is where it's at if you're gonna play anything."
Always Upgradeadopt for sale GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Buying cheap crap you have to replace."
"My dad once told me to not spend excessive money on tools at first. Buy them for dirt cheap, and learn which tools you really need. And when they break: replace them with quality ones. Buying pro-grade stuff you don't need is wasted money."
Spending a little extra can go a long way.
Cheap doesn't often equal quality.
FlexCostume Clothes GIF by Big Brother AustraliaGiphy
"Buying ridiculously expensive clothes to flex."
"Clothes are a two-way issue. Good clothes last a long time and the price is worth it for the comfort on top of that. But some clothes are 100x the price and 1/10th the quality. So there is a fine line here."
Pay to Lose
"Pay to win games."
"I played a lot of mobile games with in-game currencies. I have never spent a cent on these games. Why would I spend hundreds of dollars if I can enjoy the game and learn how to play even if it's slow? And many items don't even help you at the game. It's just skins or titles that only show other players how stupid you were to pay for a free app."
"Gold Food, or more accurately food that is covered in something called gold leaf. In my eyes, food is worth buying if they provide a great amount of nutrition for considerably good prices. After all, you probably avoid paying 50 million dollars just to buy a few molecules that are useless to your health and needs."
"And then there's gold leaf food, sure the food looks fancy but at the cost of a ludicrous amount of money! And with the gold having no usable nutrients at all, it is just not worth it to buy such expensive food for a relatively small amount of nutrients."
"For instance, Industry Kitchen (hopefully that's the name of the place) in NYC serves a pizza with a gold leaf covering for a whopping price of $2000. While at my home country which is Indonesia, Domino's serves an American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza (IDK that's a thing) which is the most expensive pizza I could find on the website costs around $7 which is just baffling to me."
"Fireworks, I love them, but it's like $50 per second for the good ones."
"Yeah, I end up spending probably $300 each summer buying fountains and batteries and helicopters and cardboard tanks and sh*t--none of the big professional skyrockets. It's absurd, I'll be the first to admit."
"But it's fun!"
"Crazy expensive day. Guaranteed at least one relative will kick up a stink. Massive pressure to be The Happiest Day of Your Life. Everything doubles in cost if you say it's for a wedding (dress, suit, cake, venue) Just do the quick registry office paperwork, have a surprise party, and run away for a long honeymoon with the money you saved."
Roll of the DiceCard Game Poker GIFGiphy
"Gambling for sure."
"I live in a small town where a casino is the big attraction They've had numerous people crap and pee themselves because they didn't wanna get up from the slots because 'it's just about to pay out.'"
Gambling is the greatest way to lose money.
Addiction will take everything if you let it.
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
"Best for mac and cheese."
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
"Fusilli because it's silly."
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.
One of life's most unfortunate moments is when we feel our lives are genuinely in danger.
These horrific moments can involve the behavior of people with malicious intentions or just being at the wrong place and time.
Even though many people live to share their harrowing stories, the trauma doesn't necessarily go away completely.
But all anyone who's experienced a terrifying ordeal can do to find peace is to count their blessings and be grateful they are survivors.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the scariest incident happened with you?"
These Redditors experienced heart-stopping false alarms.
"Half a dozen masked men broke into my bedroom, threatened me and my girlfriend, realised they had the wrong house, apologised and left. Edit - I told the full story here a while back."
Witness At A Shopping Mall
"Similar thing happened to my Aunt. She witnessed an attack at a shopping centre (on going disagreement between 2 well known families) and was threatened. A few days later one of the older family members approached her in her driveway and apologised profusely for the younger persons behaviour and offered her compensation. She was so scared she just said no thanks and he left."
Sometimes, you gotta listen to your gut.
"Wife and I took a dark exit towards out neighborhood. Whole backseat full of bags cause we went shopping at the mall. There’s a red light at the intersection once you get off the exit and we pull up to this tinted oldsmobile. They were in the right lane to go straight or turn right and we were in the left lane to turn left."
"Nobody is around, maybe 10 at night. I turn left and look in my rear view and it’s the car that was next to us a bit back. I pull in my driveway and just had a really weird feeling, so I told my wife I’m gonna reverse and drive around the block. She thinks it’s weird as hell, but as we are reversing, this dude is walking towards us from that Oldsmobile parked around the corner. I dip the f**k out and make it look like I was just turning around and drove like a mile away before heading back."
"Just had this gut feeling, man. Who knows what would have happened? But it was scary as f'k, nonetheless."
A Tragic Stop
"Friend borrowed dad’s Benz to take wife on anniversary date. He stopped for flowers and was followed home by someone thinking he was wealthy. He was shot dead in his driveway in what turned out to be a gang initiation; you did the right thing."
These Redditors looked down the barrel of a gun...and lived to tell their story.
"Was at a train station that was empty and I was sitting down waiting for a train and a man walks over with a bag, opens it and takes out a shotgun and points it at me and I just stare at him, he then says 'you're not scared are you' then puts the shotgun back in the bag then walks out of the train station."
"Actually not sure if that was the scariest or weirdest or if I was even scared."
The Right Answer
"Reminds me of the time a guy put a gun to my neck and said, 'What would you do if I pull the trigger right now.'"
"I was in a completely apathetic state of mind at that time anyway and said, 'Not much I can do, but I'll haunt you.'"
These Redditors experienced medical emergencies.
"Last week had a heart attack after almost recovering from chemotherapy."
"I asked the nurse if I was going to die and she said I’m in the right place and they will look after me. Then I got more scared then I ever have before"
"I should not have survived but I did."
"The scan came back and we found a mass. We'd like you to come in to talk to the doctor today or tomorrow. You should see if someone can drive for you as you may be upset afterwards"
"Can I come in next week, I have a trip planned?"
"The doctor says you should come in today anytime and we will clear an appointment for you."
"Luckily that doctor kicked a**. 3 years post-surgery. Scans are clean in August and I move into the "only 10% chance of reoccurrence" bracket."
"Felt sick, kind of like the flu. Felt completely fine in the morning, but got worse as the day went on. It was the middle of the night and I was up with my husband and our new 6 week old baby. I was pumping breastmilk."
"Next thing I know, I’m waking up to EMTs surrounding me on my bed telling me not to move or sit up. My heart rate was incredibly high and blood pressure incredibly low. They took me to the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with me for a while. They kept asking me what drugs I took. I kept telling them nothing (which is true). I just had a baby, the biggest 'drug' I was taking was Tylenol. They didn’t believe me for a while."
"I couldn’t remember a lot of things at this point. I could barely even remember my own kid’s name. I couldn’t tell them who the president was or what year it was when they asked. It was a weird feeling to have memory missing. Kind of like having lost some puzzle pieces. Talking was also kind of difficult."
"After a BUNCH of tests, turns out I had a UTI so bad that I went into septic shock and my kidneys were shutting down. Didn’t know I had a UTI because I was still healing from childbirth and I am pretty asymptomatic when it comes to UTIs. I don’t feel pain when I get them. Spent a few days in the ICCU. Was extra scary considering my brand new baby was at home and I wasn’t and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it home at all."
"In the end, I thankfully made a full recovery."
"Not as intense as some of these other stories, but please don’t sleep on a UTI guys. Sepsis is no joke."
The last time I truly feared for my life was when I was at a party and a fight between two drunk partygoers turned into a Swiss army knife fight.
I'm not kidding.
A couple of my friends and I jumped off the second floor balcony and got chased in the parking lot.
After some fumbling with the car keys, my buddy managed to get five of us crammed into his car and the perpetrator started pounding on the rear window with his fists and bloodying it up from smashing his knuckles onto the glass.
The police came just in time. Thank you annoyed neighbor who called the cops on us for our blood-curdling screams disturbing the peace.
Perhaps the best thing about our friends is that we can always rely on them.
To help us out, to give us words of comfort and wisdom when we need them, or to just be a willing pair of ears.
Even so, our friends still have a way of surprising us, as well as disappointing us from time to time.
Sometimes they'll do things that just make us groan and roll our eyes but are easily forgiven over time.
Other times, however, they might do or say something which can only be described as "f*cked up."
Potentially putting an effective end to your friendship.
"What is the most f**ked up thing you've seen a friend do?"
Those Poor Cats...
"A guy I worked with was about to take his wife on a trip back to their mutual hometown in another state."
"They had a pair of delightful kittens and they asked me if I would watch them while they were gone."
"I had little experience with cats but these 2 were just wonderfully playful."
"I gave him a call when he got back to arrange returning the kittens but he said they had picked up a non-cat friendly dog on the journey and he would just drop off the kittens in the woods."
"Needless to say, I kept them and they were wonderful furry friends for me and eventually to my wife and kids."
"I still think what would have happened to them if I had not been in the right place at the right time."- PoloGrounder
"I went on holiday for a week and asked my 'best friend' to pop in and feed my cat (he lived a few doors away)."
"When I got back, my cat was laying by the back door of my house, went inside and his bowl was empty, I called him and asked when the last time he fed him, he said 'oh yeah, I forgot'."
"My cat had been outside for a week with no food or water. "
"I haven't spoken to him in 12 years."- Reddit
Always Listen To Your Doctor
"Convinced his girlfriend she was suffering from gluten intolerance instead of schizophrenia, and got her to stop taking medication."- lightningandmadness
But Was It A Point Worth Proving?
"Deliberately get knocked down by a car, in order to prove that when drunk (and we were very drunk), his bones were flexible."
"Fortunately, the car had been slowing to turn."
"There followed a couple of minutes trying to reassure the driver he was ok, whilst calling him an idiot."
"Meanwhile, he was laying flat on his back, maintaining he'd proved his point."- anothercynicaloldgit
It Is Never Attractive To Gloat
"Best friend was excited for me to meet his new gf."
"The whole evening he bragged about how she was still married and he was going to be the reason she got divorced."
"Haven't spoken to him since."
"Did hear she broke up with him and sorted out the issues with her husband."- hmfiddlesworth
Karma Is Pretty Unforgiving...
"Brought my friend to watch my boyfriend practice his drumming."
"She kept spreading her legs wide wearing a skirt with no underwear."
"She slept with him and he left me thinking he would be with her."
"Needless to say she didn’t date him because she already had a boyfriend."- Final_Objective_6204Kar
"We were working in an old lady's attic and he kicked the sh*t out of a pipe on purpose then went and told her it needed to be replaced."
"I never worked with him again after that."- FriendlyDifference72
"Brag about a then—boyfriend not leaving her despite constant cheating."
"Then cry when he left her."
"I don’t know either."- Snapesnape716
In With The Wrong Crowd
"They were arguing and he made fun of the friend for being an orphan."
"Tried to stab the other friend cuz his ex was crushing on him."- we_are_ghetto
Not Worth A Second Thought
"Throw McDonald’s fries and burger as hard as he could at a homeless lady asking for food."
"I called him a piece of sh*t and never spoke to him again."- Mundane_Tour_3215
You Don't Mess With Family...
"My best friend had just broken up with my brother—who had moved over a thousand miles and changed jobs to be with her—citing personal differences."
"My brother was devastated, but I tried to respect her decision and be a source of support for both of them, especially because they truly weren’t the best fit."
"But then she shared with me, because she knew that I loved her and would be happy for her so long as she was happy, that she’d been cheating on my brother for the past month and had found her soulmate."
"The depth of my brother’s heartbreak, already immense, was further compounded by the infidelity."
"To my bewilderment, she truly couldn’t understand why I was ending the friendship, seemed so distraught that I would end a years long relationship over something so 'small'."
"And I still can’t comprehend why she thought telling me would result in anything other than a complete door slam."
"Hannah, you still suck."
"And I’m still angry."
"I had also asked her to be the maid of 'honor' in my upcoming wedding."
Some friendships can withstand fundamental differences of opinion.
But no friendship is worth hanging onto when people (and kittens) are physically or emotionally harmed.