People Share What They Think Are The Stupidest Oddities About The Human Body
The human body is an instrument of amazement....
The human body is such a mystery. Sometimes it's weak, often it's strong and no matter what... there is always a question of "how is this possible?" Why is the body this way?
Those Pearly Whites.Giphy
Losing your adult teeth and never grow them back.
Same body grows a tumor in some random spot in your body and it develops teeth in it. Sakurablossom101
Autoimmune issues, bar none.
One day your own immune system decides your own organs and whatnot are evil and must be destroyed. The same organs you've had inside you forever that have in no way changed. And the great thing is that usually when you get one, it has a cascade effect and you end up with 2 more within 10-15 years.
First the immune system came for my thyroid. Now if I eat gluten it goes berserk and demolishes my intestines for no real reason. I need those to live. My immune system needs my body ALIVE for IT to live. Why it do this?
I wish someone could come up with a less risky way to do full body radiation. I hear that sometimes zapping away pretty much all of your immune system can reset it in a way. beepborpimajorp
~8 hour down time every 24 hours.
Imagine owning something that works 66% of the time. koifishy420
And even when it does work, it doesn't want to and breaks down easily. And you almost always have to take it to a specialist for repair. The variation in expected usage life is pretty annoying too. ferrettt55
Feeling it All.
That pain is a message that something is wrong, but there isn't a way to actually ask your brain what the issue is. Like dashboard indicators in cars. alienbanter
Pain transmitting nerves are the slowest in the body. The processes that cause acute pain are so much faster than even maximum possible human reflexes (transfer of heat energy from a hot surface to the skin, for example) that there's no chance of you reducing physical damage by moving (up to a point. Don't cuddle space heaters). Acute pain is there to teach you not to do something the NEXT time, IF you survive.
As far as my bioengineering professors were able to tell after studying pain in general and chronic pain in particular for decades, the only clear purpose of chronic pain seems to be to make people crazy. 11thNite
"Hey... pstt... heyyyy!!!!"
"I just detected a small harmless allergen, so I hit the "let's mess stuff up" button. Don't worry bud, I got you." IHaveNowhereElseToGo
A Deep Wound.
Forming a whole body in 9 months but taking 4 months to heal a cut. Enchanted_Lives
If that happened I would agree with you but most normal humans heal a cut in a week or two???? iluvdownvotes-lol
Even my deepest cuts only take a couple weeks. LandOfTheEnd
Where is the Wisdom?
4 teeth that grow just so we can remove them. nardsy43
You've gotta give them credit, they're made out of hydroxyapatite which is the hardest material in nature, heck the Mohrs hardness is higher than a lot of metals. If that isn't... metal... I don't know what is. Ramiel01
You get a new pair of teeth at six years old. Not only do these new teeth grow all weird and not straight but having new teeth as a toddler is completely useless! Imagine having a new set of teeth at age 60 instead. Bonkies1
The human body is so weird. Simultaneously incredibly durable and horrifyingly fragile. People have survived skydiving accidents where their parachutes never opened, other people have tripped on a flat surface, fallen however far they are tall (or less) and died.
Your legs have some of the strongest bones in your body in them, but hit a joint from the wrong direction and you might end up with an inverted knee, or just a screwed up ACL if your lucky.
It's just weird to think that the same blow, depending on where and how it's applied to the body, can cause the difference between a bruise and death. Ara-Enzeru
Those random, insane chest pains that some people randomly get sometimes when taking a deep breath... which generally indicate that exactly nothing is wrong. What the heck is up with that??
Edit: I'm talking about precordial catch syndrome, as several people have linked. Sorry, probably should have said that originally. CaffeineGlom
Pubic hair. Body be like "testicles need cold, outside they go," and then "why not put a fur coat to warm ya." Not even gonna start about butt hair. BouaphaSWC
Everything in our brains. Our other organs are there working 24/7 to keep us alive and our brains are there like, "what if I put my pinkie on this prong of a phone charger." CrabSmoke
And the fact that our brain is constantly starving for new information but fails to remember half of the information it is given. MomentousMaster
From the Head.Giphy
For that matter, migraines. "Here's a super-headache because screw you!" ferrettt55
"Oh? You're enjoying your day? Time to get head splitting pain with every noise and speck of light! I forgot the best part, you're going to throw up too! :)" KoldGlaze
Eyelashes, their main purpose according to biology scientists are that they protect our eyes from debris and harmful germs. In a strange way yeah they do... BUT on the other hand when the debris that gets in your eye is a damn eyelash that is some twisted karma right there. asia_092D
We breathe down the same passage we eat/drink. MakeEveryBonerCount
Sometimes I get the strong urge to drink water to satisfy my dry windpipe and it is the most infuriating thing having to waterboard yourself at 3:28 AM. NootSquared
All the Little Things....
The little things. Acne. Ingrown hairs. Ingrown toenails. The way a smashed finger or toe becomes exponentially more prone to further smashing. asleeplessmalice
27 now, been fighting acne since I was 14. Now I am more annoyed about ingrown hairs and folliculitis than the acne. Why can't my skin just not be angry? I am washing with chlorhexidine and using clindamycin lotion now and that seems to help, and when it doesn't I put mupirocin on it. MRSA sucs. laewin
I Hate you Cancer....
That our cells can just be screwed up in a variety of ways that make them live forever and then all the cells based off those broken cells will likewise live forever... otherwise known as cancer.
Edit: For those who haven't researched or been told the Cliff Notes version of cancer, it goes like this:
The cells that make up our bodies are like all living things: they have a lifecycle. There are various subsystems in our cells that govern that lifecycle.
Cancers occur when a cell has a mutation that causes one or more of those subsystems to malfunction, making said cell stupidly persistent at living too long. And since that cell will beget more cells, they'll all inherit that broken subsystem (or develop their own new, exciting mutations).
Cell reproduction continues and the cells refuse to die. A tumor is born. zeronotzero
It has all there amazing functions but none of them are actually controllable. Cases in point:
- My body can create both muscle and fat tissue. But I can't just tell it to create muscle when I want it to, or to NOT make fat tissue because the likelihood that food will not be available in the near future is basically zero. Or vice-versa.
- If I hit my head, pain is a warning sign that I may have hurt myself. Now I examine the injury, figure out I did not seriously injure myself, but the pain is still there. That's like a fire alarm that can't be turned off, so if there's a false alarm you just need to ignore it for two days.
- I can hear, see, feel, smell, taste. But I can't turn any of that off if, for example, I'm trying to sleep and my roommate snores.
- Getting a boost to your strength and pain tolerance, among other things, through adrenaline is nice if you're in a dangerous situation. Not so nice when that "dangerous situation" is a job interview and adrenaline is making your hands shake.
I'm sure there are more but you get the idea. Aibeit
The Throat Stop.
Thanks for the horrible strep throat, and tonsillitis you gave me all the time during school. The_Struggle_Man
Tonsils gross me out. Just the idea of them and the tonsil "caverns" or whatever. So yeah I agree. Gruv_3
- You're more likely to catch a cold from a person by shaking their hand than from their sneezes.
- The human brain weighs about 3 pounds, but uses 20% of one's blood and oxygen.
- Plaque begins reforming 6 hours after brushing your teeth.
Cold showers actually increase sexual arousal.
Man, so weird and stupid. AndromexZ
Anyone else have a few body thoughts they think about?
We've all made clumsy mistakes that we know could have been avoided had we used a little bit more good judgment and common sense.
Thankfully, these silly mistakes don't usually harm others or ourselves.
This is why it's hard to see people knowingly perform reckless or dangerous activities which they know might have serious consequences.
While we don't usually wish these people ill, we also have a hard time feeling bad for them, as they knew what they were getting themselves in for.
As some people might say, they "f*cked around and found out" or "play stupid games, win stupid prizes."
What is a great example of 'f*ck around and find out'"?
Never Be Afraid To Seek Help
"Hey remember how they said drugs can ruin your f*cking life?"
"Turns out that was true."- WowAPenguin
They Put Up Those Walls For A Reason
"People who die after going over the safety fence at zoo, or basically any safety fence."- Solid_Refrigerator16
They Can't Say They Weren't Warned...
"Those who go deep cave diving and ignore the warning signs."- somekindofmiraclecave GIFGiphy
Never Stand Behind Them...
"Jacka**es who come to the stables I ride at and act weird around horses."
"Those animals play no games."- clem82
Is It Really Worth It?
"Running of the Bulls in Spain."
"The videos each year of the people getting completely annihilated by the bulls is a great example."- getagrooving
Never Get Too Big For Your Britches...
"When I was young I boxed and eventually got into golden gloves."
"I got a few wins under my belt and said I wanted to fight someone legit, someone who would be a real challenge."
"An opportunity came up to fight someone very good, a guy who'd eventually win regional and state and later go pro."
"At this point I'd not lost or even been knocked down, so my confidence was high, that is until he knocked me the hell out very early in the fight and taught me that there are BIG differences in the different talent levels of fighting."-Redditepisode 2 boxing GIF by Archie ComicsGiphy
Sharks might be the least of your problems...
"Go swimming outside the flags in Australia."- d*ckflip1980
"When people were dressing up like clowns to scare people."
"It kinda stopped after one got shot."- BigMaraJeff2
Or With Anything Dangerous...
"Playing with electricity."- tlmega124Jack Nicholson Hair GIF by MOODMANGiphy
They Won't Harm You If You Won't Harm Them...
"People that approach wildlife in state parks."- Rider-of-Rohaan42
Best To Keep Hands And Feet Out Of Moving Vehicles...
"Your boss at the warehouse is constantly telling you to keep your feet within the confines of your vehicle, and not to hang them, and to stay clear when walking, because if you don't, a 6,000 pound+ vehicle impacting a fixed surface will turn your foot into spaghetti sauce."
"Do not f*ck around, ever, with industrial vehicles."
"Follow all guidelines, always."
"A powered ride-on pallet jack weighs as much as 2-3 small cars, when fully loaded."
"It will absolutely ruin you if you don't operate safely."- SpaceCorpse
Still Probably Best Not To Do It At All!
"My uncle was a high-profile defense attorney specializing in folks who were arrested for drug trafficking."
"The greatest advice he ever gave to me was, if you want to smuggle ANYTHING, you can do it one time."
"After that, you will be caught and you will be f*cked."- redoctober2021
Confusing On So Many Levels...
"Trying to armed rob a gun store."- VagabondTexan
You'd Think People Would Have Learned By Now...
"Taking Julius Caesar hostage."- EgoSenatuscaesar GIFGiphy
No One Is Invincible...
"Ye saying he can’t be dropped by Adidas, then immediately getting dropped by Adidas."- Admin_Untold
It's one thing to make a mistake after being a bit too hasty, and not giving something enough thought.
But if you end up in the ER after being urged not to do something, and well aware of what might happen, don't expect too many flowers...
Being horny can lead to some questionable decision-making.
Something happens to the brain when blood is flowing to other regions of the body.
They should discuss this in health class.
It's perfectly normal, but we have to learn how to deal.
Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History HelpHide Reaction GIF by florGiphy
"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
In San DiegoNo Money Bangladeshi GIF by GifGariGiphy
"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The RewardHappy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy
"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
I'm OutChris Pratt Running GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.
Why in this day and age are people still taking nudie pics without triple-checking the recipient?
Why take the gamble?
And half of the time we hit send, mistakes get made.
One minute you're feeling sexy, the next minute grandpa is having a stroke.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
GrossVacuuming Clean Up GIF by MashedGiphy
"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
AHHHH!!!! NO!Awkward Episode 1 GIF by HeelsGiphy
"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
Mom and dad have their own lives.
DisconnectGIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
Recover Modedelete black and white GIFGiphy
"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
There is so much to learn in the world, it's impossible for one person to know absolutely everything there is to know.
But there are certain things, like common phrases and idioms, that everyone seems to use that might be a little embarrassing to not understand until later in life.
Redditor Curious-2577 asked:
"What's something you learned 'embarrassingly late' in life?"
"My sister was in her fifties when she found out the meaning of, 'You have an addictive personality.'"
"She thought after all these years of therapy that it meant that people were addicted to her personality."
"We laughed hysterically when we talked about this (in a very sad way)."
"I thought that horses had toes until I was 22. I thought the hoof was a 'horseshoe' and the toes were tucked inside."
"How did I learn how wrong I was, you ask?"
"I was walking past a cavalry museum and saw a horse statue and loudly remarked, 'It must hurt so bad when they fold a horse’s toes to put them into the shoe!'"
"Dozens of horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes."
"The saying is, in fact, 'Nip it in the bud' and not 'Nip it in the butt.'"
"A few months ago, two of my colleagues both handed in their notice at around the same time."
"I kept reading/hearing the sentence, 'They’re both moving on to pastures new’ being thrown about the office in the weeks leading up to them leaving, and I hadn’t heard this phrase before and thought that was the name of the rival company that they were going to, like, 'Pastures New.'"
"I thought it was weird that nobody was talking about how they were both leaving for the same company."
"I was in the car with one of the two people who were leaving and said, 'So where is it that you and X are going to be working? Is it...’"
"And just before I could embarrass myself and say ‘Pastures New,' they interrupted me and said they’re not going to the same place and asked me where I had heard that."
"I think at that moment, I realized I was stupid and didn’t mention it again."
"I think I was in college when I realized that Mario and Luigi are plumbers. I thought they just went and up down these tubes just because that was the theme of the game."
"That Bonsai are not a species of tree, but a way to grow them. Any tree can be a bonsai."
Houston, We Have a Problem
"Houston is not the name of the guy astronauts talk to."
"I learned that pork and beans are not called 'cowboy beans.' I was 18 and asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the 'cowboy beans.'"
"We were looking everywhere and I was getting frustrated because I know that every store carries these beans. After a while, I picked up a pork and beans can with a picture and said, 'See, they look just like this!'"
"He said, 'You mean pork and beans?'"
"Then I realized that my mom called them that so that I would eat them."
"The look of disappointment from that grocery store clerk haunts me to this day."
"Let me tell you about how I thought you were awarded a 'Pullet Surprise.'"
Rum and Coke
"Not too late in life, but I thought my parents were making 'Roman Cokes' until I went to college."
"Which, I think is a much better name for the drink (Rum and Coke) anyway."
Oh No, Not Acoma!
"That a coma was 'A' coma. Until I was probably 19 or so, I thought it was 'acoma.'"
"I thought you fell into acoma."
It Must Have Been a One-Way Trip
"My parents were divorced the whole time and my mom was not, in fact, taking a vacation, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
"I live near the Hospital for Joint Diseases… when I was a kid, I thought was a special hospital for people who had two or more different diseases at the same time."
"Moving cross-country, driving east to west, and crossing from Idaho to Oregon, I noticed huge fields with signs for the Ore-Ida Potato company."
"So I was in my early 20s when I figured out Ore-Ida wasn’t just a brand name but was because their potatoes came from Oregon and Idaho."
"When I was really young, my sister told me she threw her guts up. So I was really afraid of vomiting my entire insides up for years."
Some of these really had us laughing as we realized the revelations some of these Redditors were having.
But when we're really honest with ourselves, we probably didn't figure out some of these until later, too.