It's a challenge to punish your children in a way that matters. Something that might matter a immensely to them one day, perhaps their favorite show or their favorite toy, can be easily tossed aside the next day. This means your grand consequence is essentially worthless. As a parent, you need to know what works and what doesn't...but sometimes, parents go in weird directions, as evidenced by the stories below.
Reddit user, u/Bamboozled_Bear, wanted to know what was so weird about your time-outs when they asked:
What's the oddest punishment your parent(s) have given you for misbehaving/breaking rules growing up?
"I Am A Guy."
Giphy
My dad made me go out in a dress one time. I am a guy.
I was staying with him for a week, and skipped school one day. He came home to get something and found me watching TV and I said I was sick and couldn't go. He goes back to work. Problem was, this was a Friday and there was a party.
My dad and my step-mom come home and start making dinner. I get better and afterwards say I'm going out. Obviously this was met with skepticism.
My friends showed up in the midst of this. I argue my position passionately. At a certain point, my friends were dying laughing, and my dad switched from trying to get me to admit I lied, to just seeing how far I'd go to prove I hadn't. He even got my friends to tell him where we were going, and just kept saying he couldn't believe how "improbable" the whole thing was. He even told me I could go if I just admitted I lied about being sick. But, I was dug in.
I told him he could pick what I wore in order to prove I wasn't lying (my dad has notoriously terrible taste and this was way before "norm-core").
My dad picked a dress made from the back pockets of jeans. Like an entire dress made of denim back pockets. It was f-cking absurd and extremely uncomfortable. A massive jean dress made of exclusively seams. It didn't breathe, it barely moved, it chaffed. I didn't give a sh-t about wearing a dress, but this was torture.
Ya so I wore that to a party.
Let The Punishment Fit The Crime?
My mother told me I wasn't allowed to talk for the rest of the day, because I licked my arm pit in front of one of my sister's cute friends.
Halting That Perfect Smile
They cancelled my braces. I was with a friend who got caught stealing, after denying any involvement for hours my parents refused to believe me and threatened to hurt my friend (even went to her house) I eventually lied and said I was involved and they cancelled my braces.
Still have crooked teeth to this day, and my parents think I'm a petty thief.
You're Your Own Worst Enemy
The weirdest punishment my mother came up with was making me write a two page essay about why I had broken a rule, then write it again and again until she got home from work.
The weirdest punishment my father came up with was making me put away all my stuff instead of going to see a movie.
But that wasn't sh-t. I was a weird kid with a guilt complex deep as a trench. I'd punish myself sometimes for random things that my parents didn't feel really called for punishment. Sometimes it was simple sh-t like standing in a corner unprompted. One time I coated my tongue in pepper because I gave my mother trouble eating dinner.
But the grand prize winner was probably when, at the age of 7, I made myself watch the movie ALIEN alone in the dark. I don't even remember what I'd done to conclude I needed this, but I felt that the only answer was to scare the sh-t out of myself.
You Lose It All
When I was 15 I got my entire bedroom taken away for 5 months because I missed the bus.. the only thing i had in my room was a mattress and a pillow, no sheet or anything just a pillow
525,600 Minutes
14 years old. Friend used me as an alibi for when she got hammered, without me knowing. This ended up not saving her ass, but handing me mine. Instead of saying 'were you with her when she was drinking?' they took the tack of 'you were there too, so you must have been drinking'— which is wrong, I wasn't there, she just wanted to alibi herself out of trouble.
Parents refused to listen to me and grounded me for a year. I did the year (what option did I have?) and after that, refused to tell them anything ever again. I had told the truth and they didn't believe me. I never recovered from the damage that did, and to this day I tell them next to nothing. I'm 46 years old.
Punishment In More Than One Language
I grew up bilingual in English and Hebrew. My parents aren't religiously Jewish and my mom is only part ethnically Jewish, but they both studied Hebrew in college and wanted me to grow up bilingual. Makes you smarter, apparently.
Anyways, when I was ten, I swore for the first time out of anger in front of my parents. This wasn't just normal swearing either; this was really, really bad. I had heard those words at school a few months before. They then calmly decided that for a week (this was during summer vacation so I didn't have to go to school), I would have to speak in nothing but Hebrew.
It didn't matter where we went. We went to the pharmacy, the grocery store, and other places we normally went during that week. To a cashier, to other kids at the playground, to my parents, and literally everyone else I could only speak Hebrew.
It was honestly torture. No one knew what I was saying. I wasn't allowed to write anything down either. I tried my best to gesture about what I was trying to say but that confused people even more. Other kids wouldn't play with me because they thought I was insane. I was so embarrassed and adults would just give my parents sad, sympathetic looks like "You poor people. Your daughter is crazy" or even asking if I was adopted and then asking how I was adjusting to the States.
Needless to say, I never swore in front of my parents again.
Wait...Back In The Box?
Dad got real pissed once and dumped out a box of fruit loops. Made me sort them by color, count each, add them together, then vacuum up the crumbs after I put them back in the box.
Being Forced To Do It Again In A Way You Hate
So I had to write "I won't lie and do my work." In cursive cause I didn't want to do a reading log in cursive. Honestly I hated that thing. Cursive sucks.
Nothing That Harms Them, Just Sends A Message
My mother's go-to punishment, which I'm sure I will carry on when I become a parent, was cold water in the face. Just enough to shock you. I have vivid memories of each time she came at me with a cup of water (and I got it the most out of my siblings).
Once, my youngest brother was throwing a tantrum in the kitchen while she was washing dishes. Just turned around and shot him with the sprayer. Definitely not the strangest I've seen, but also more creative than time outs or spanking. Very effective as well.
Just Stare At It
I could put the ketchup on the table but was only allowed to look at it. My crime? Asking my foodie dad if I could have ketchup on my steak, I was 7 and that's how I'd always had it when my mom cooked it.
Not to be out done, my mother grounded me from reading because I kept staying up late past my bedtime reading books.
Hot Sauce Is Also An Interesting Variant
We would get mustard pasted on to our tongues if we swore or told lies.
Once we were driven to the local police station because neither of us would admit to tearing the wallpaper, my brother finally admitted it at the last minute. We were very young, I thought we were gonna get locked up.
Punishment By Snuggle
Got grounded for punching my best friend in a fit of rage, my punishment was to get my pyjamas on right after dinner. This was peak summer and we always used to go round for each other after dinner. When door went I was forced to answer door in my pyjamas at 6 pm and explain why I wasn't allowed out. Worst thing was it was the boy I punched at door so was no hard feelings.
Get In Reeeeeeeal Close
Standing nose to nose in the middle of the room with the sibling you were just fighting with....
Threaten The Funko
This happened maybe a week ago:
I was arguing about something with my mom in my room, when all of a sudden during the arguement she walked up to one of my shelves, grabbed an arm full of my Funko Pop figurines, opened my window and threatened to throw them out if I didn't listen to her.
We have a lot of fun in this household.
Erasing The Torture You've Given Yourself
Giphy
When I was like 8 my parents made me dig a 4 foot wide, 4 foot long and 4 foot deep hole in the backyard and then just fill it back in because I lied.
It sucked.
The ULTIMATE Guilt Trip
While fighting over a beanbag chair, my brother pushed me and I fell on the fireplace. Busted the back of my head open. My father swooped me up and rushed me to get stitches.
I was 5, my brother was 10.
It wasn't until many years later that I found out how my mother dealt with my brother after my father and I left.
As the door closed behind my father, carrying me out the front door, my mother looked at my brother and said, "Well, you killed your sister."
Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Open Range Running GIF by Reconnecting RootsGiphyUncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
Scared Woods GIF by Brat TVGiphyA near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Dog Bouncing GIF by AFV PetsGiphyHad no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
Fail Just For Laughs GIFGiphy"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
Jim Carrey Omg GIFGiphy"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
will birth control GIFGiphy"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
Angry Neil Flynn GIFGiphy"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
GIF by VIASWEATGiphy"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
rachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
Happy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
Black Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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