It's a challenge to punish your children in a way that matters. Something that might matter a immensely to them one day, perhaps their favorite show or their favorite toy, can be easily tossed aside the next day. This means your grand consequence is essentially worthless. As a parent, you need to know what works and what doesn't...but sometimes, parents go in weird directions, as evidenced by the stories below.
Reddit user, u/Bamboozled_Bear, wanted to know what was so weird about your time-outs when they asked:
What's the oddest punishment your parent(s) have given you for misbehaving/breaking rules growing up?
"I Am A Guy."
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My dad made me go out in a dress one time. I am a guy.
I was staying with him for a week, and skipped school one day. He came home to get something and found me watching TV and I said I was sick and couldn't go. He goes back to work. Problem was, this was a Friday and there was a party.
My dad and my step-mom come home and start making dinner. I get better and afterwards say I'm going out. Obviously this was met with skepticism.
My friends showed up in the midst of this. I argue my position passionately. At a certain point, my friends were dying laughing, and my dad switched from trying to get me to admit I lied, to just seeing how far I'd go to prove I hadn't. He even got my friends to tell him where we were going, and just kept saying he couldn't believe how "improbable" the whole thing was. He even told me I could go if I just admitted I lied about being sick. But, I was dug in.
I told him he could pick what I wore in order to prove I wasn't lying (my dad has notoriously terrible taste and this was way before "norm-core").
My dad picked a dress made from the back pockets of jeans. Like an entire dress made of denim back pockets. It was f-cking absurd and extremely uncomfortable. A massive jean dress made of exclusively seams. It didn't breathe, it barely moved, it chaffed. I didn't give a sh-t about wearing a dress, but this was torture.
Ya so I wore that to a party.
Let The Punishment Fit The Crime?
My mother told me I wasn't allowed to talk for the rest of the day, because I licked my arm pit in front of one of my sister's cute friends.
Halting That Perfect Smile
They cancelled my braces. I was with a friend who got caught stealing, after denying any involvement for hours my parents refused to believe me and threatened to hurt my friend (even went to her house) I eventually lied and said I was involved and they cancelled my braces.
Still have crooked teeth to this day, and my parents think I'm a petty thief.
You're Your Own Worst Enemy
The weirdest punishment my mother came up with was making me write a two page essay about why I had broken a rule, then write it again and again until she got home from work.
The weirdest punishment my father came up with was making me put away all my stuff instead of going to see a movie.
But that wasn't sh-t. I was a weird kid with a guilt complex deep as a trench. I'd punish myself sometimes for random things that my parents didn't feel really called for punishment. Sometimes it was simple sh-t like standing in a corner unprompted. One time I coated my tongue in pepper because I gave my mother trouble eating dinner.
But the grand prize winner was probably when, at the age of 7, I made myself watch the movie ALIEN alone in the dark. I don't even remember what I'd done to conclude I needed this, but I felt that the only answer was to scare the sh-t out of myself.
You Lose It All
When I was 15 I got my entire bedroom taken away for 5 months because I missed the bus.. the only thing i had in my room was a mattress and a pillow, no sheet or anything just a pillow
525,600 Minutes
14 years old. Friend used me as an alibi for when she got hammered, without me knowing. This ended up not saving her ass, but handing me mine. Instead of saying 'were you with her when she was drinking?' they took the tack of 'you were there too, so you must have been drinking'— which is wrong, I wasn't there, she just wanted to alibi herself out of trouble.
Parents refused to listen to me and grounded me for a year. I did the year (what option did I have?) and after that, refused to tell them anything ever again. I had told the truth and they didn't believe me. I never recovered from the damage that did, and to this day I tell them next to nothing. I'm 46 years old.
Punishment In More Than One Language
I grew up bilingual in English and Hebrew. My parents aren't religiously Jewish and my mom is only part ethnically Jewish, but they both studied Hebrew in college and wanted me to grow up bilingual. Makes you smarter, apparently.
Anyways, when I was ten, I swore for the first time out of anger in front of my parents. This wasn't just normal swearing either; this was really, really bad. I had heard those words at school a few months before. They then calmly decided that for a week (this was during summer vacation so I didn't have to go to school), I would have to speak in nothing but Hebrew.
It didn't matter where we went. We went to the pharmacy, the grocery store, and other places we normally went during that week. To a cashier, to other kids at the playground, to my parents, and literally everyone else I could only speak Hebrew.
It was honestly torture. No one knew what I was saying. I wasn't allowed to write anything down either. I tried my best to gesture about what I was trying to say but that confused people even more. Other kids wouldn't play with me because they thought I was insane. I was so embarrassed and adults would just give my parents sad, sympathetic looks like "You poor people. Your daughter is crazy" or even asking if I was adopted and then asking how I was adjusting to the States.
Needless to say, I never swore in front of my parents again.
Wait...Back In The Box?
Dad got real pissed once and dumped out a box of fruit loops. Made me sort them by color, count each, add them together, then vacuum up the crumbs after I put them back in the box.
Being Forced To Do It Again In A Way You Hate
So I had to write "I won't lie and do my work." In cursive cause I didn't want to do a reading log in cursive. Honestly I hated that thing. Cursive sucks.
Nothing That Harms Them, Just Sends A Message
My mother's go-to punishment, which I'm sure I will carry on when I become a parent, was cold water in the face. Just enough to shock you. I have vivid memories of each time she came at me with a cup of water (and I got it the most out of my siblings).
Once, my youngest brother was throwing a tantrum in the kitchen while she was washing dishes. Just turned around and shot him with the sprayer. Definitely not the strangest I've seen, but also more creative than time outs or spanking. Very effective as well.
Just Stare At It
I could put the ketchup on the table but was only allowed to look at it. My crime? Asking my foodie dad if I could have ketchup on my steak, I was 7 and that's how I'd always had it when my mom cooked it.
Not to be out done, my mother grounded me from reading because I kept staying up late past my bedtime reading books.
Hot Sauce Is Also An Interesting Variant
We would get mustard pasted on to our tongues if we swore or told lies.
Once we were driven to the local police station because neither of us would admit to tearing the wallpaper, my brother finally admitted it at the last minute. We were very young, I thought we were gonna get locked up.
Punishment By Snuggle
Got grounded for punching my best friend in a fit of rage, my punishment was to get my pyjamas on right after dinner. This was peak summer and we always used to go round for each other after dinner. When door went I was forced to answer door in my pyjamas at 6 pm and explain why I wasn't allowed out. Worst thing was it was the boy I punched at door so was no hard feelings.
Get In Reeeeeeeal Close
Standing nose to nose in the middle of the room with the sibling you were just fighting with....
Threaten The Funko
This happened maybe a week ago:
I was arguing about something with my mom in my room, when all of a sudden during the arguement she walked up to one of my shelves, grabbed an arm full of my Funko Pop figurines, opened my window and threatened to throw them out if I didn't listen to her.
We have a lot of fun in this household.
Erasing The Torture You've Given Yourself
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When I was like 8 my parents made me dig a 4 foot wide, 4 foot long and 4 foot deep hole in the backyard and then just fill it back in because I lied.
It sucked.
The ULTIMATE Guilt Trip
While fighting over a beanbag chair, my brother pushed me and I fell on the fireplace. Busted the back of my head open. My father swooped me up and rushed me to get stitches.
I was 5, my brother was 10.
It wasn't until many years later that I found out how my mother dealt with my brother after my father and I left.
As the door closed behind my father, carrying me out the front door, my mother looked at my brother and said, "Well, you killed your sister."
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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