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People Share 'There's No Way To Win A Argument With An Idiot' Stories

People Share 'There's No Way To Win A Argument With An Idiot' Stories
Westend61/GettyImages

Nothing can wrap up an argument like a lack of knowledge. If you find yourself in a situation where the discussion is getting out of hand, it's easier to just admit you don't know much about the subject and ask for the other person to fill you in. Or, you can plow ahead like a thick headed bull like in the stories below.


Reddit user, u/Gourd_Gamer, wanted to know the no-win situations when they asked:

What moment in an argument made you realize "this person is an idiot and there is no winning scenario"?

Self-Defeating Argument

Coworker would constantly preach against GMOs, parabens, only use oils when sick, etc. She told me I was going to get cancer from my deodorant, and the corn I bought was 'mutant'.

Then she'd go outside and smoke 3 cigarettes every two hours.

[usernamedeleted]

Lizzie McGuire's Cartoon Self Is A Totally Reliable Source

Giphy

An old roommate of mine was trying to say we were blackmailing her when we were asking her to take out her trash, etc. She said "Watch the Lizzie McGuire Movie; there's blackmail in there and it's obvious that's what you're doing to me."

I believe it goes without saying that she never clean up after herself nor did she understand that movie....

sbankss

Just Walk Away

My cousins are flat earthers.

When lack of evidence is just proof of a conspiracy, it's best to just disengage. You can't break into that prison - they have to break out.

swampjedi

Someone who is dating my roommate considers herself to be environmentally conscious. She claimed that napkins were bad for the environment and they increase one's carbon footprint. She ranted about it to me in my own home, even though I don't even buy napkins.

Maybe a week or so later, she noticed I use a re-usable coffee filter and berated me for not using disposable paper filters. I told her that using a re-usable filter cuts down on the amount of waste that we produce when brewing coffee -- so, not only do I not contribute to filling up landfills with paper filters, but I also save money from not buying them in the first place and just cleaning the plastic one.

She told me that since paper filters are biodegradable, there is no reason for me to refrain from using them.

But napkins are made of paper.

Napkins. Are made. Of paper.

She literally just wanted stand on a soap box and hear herself talk. She derives pleasure from telling others that they are wrong, regardless of whether or not they are actually wrong. There is no winning an argument with her.

protomanEXE1995

You Know You Need To Work, Right?

We had a new assistant at work who was not fitting in with the team. I sat her down and talked to her about expectations and reviewed the responsibilities of the position several times. In one last effort to help her, I thought I'd see which parts of the job she liked. I asked her, "What skill do you think is your strongest skill?" And she said, "Delegating."

Wide_Ocelot

Not Knowledgeable About How Bodies Work

After asking them to go home because they were quite clearly sick with a cold, being told "don't be stupid, there's no such thing as colds, it's just allergies to the cold weather."

ebmocces

He Was Called "The Master Of Horror" Forever

He had an aversion to Stephen King. Thought Stephen King only wrote gory trash with no redeeming value. That everyone who read Stephen King had mental issues.

And his favourite movie was The Shawshank Redemption.

Even after I showed the credits both on IMBD and Wikipedia he refused to believe that that degenerate Stephen King was in any way, shape or form involved with his dearly beloved film.

masshysteri

When You Can't Believe Video Evidence...

One of my brother in laws said he liked Jay Z and put on Nothing but a G thang by Snoop dog and Dr. Dre. When I told him it was Dr.Dre and not Jay Z he called me a liar and that I was too young to know.

Showed him the youtube video and googled it.

To this day he still says it was Jay Z

nomnomnom90210

Just Two?

A grandma, who spent her career cleaning hospitals, insisted that a woman only had two holes down there. I explained that there would be three (anus, urethra and vagina) cause how would a woman pee with a tampon in?

She claimed the would have to take it off. Finally called the hospital spoke to an ER doctor who was kind enough to quell the matter while on speaker phone. After her hung up she wasn't very convinced.

veritasverdad

This Is Medically Proven!

I was just in the hospital for a small operation and my roommate is the stupidest person I have ever met.

You are supposed to be sober for an operation. He comes in late and drank some coffee and water in the morning. I then said he endangers himself because his stomach is supposed to be empty in case he has to throw up. He then said:

"If I drink a coffee now my stomach will be empty"

In the end I convinced him that this is not the case and made him talk to the doctors. He ended up being operated on in the afternoon.

ElGrappadura

*ultimate face-palm

From a friend in college, who when confronted with evidence that he was wrong stated:

"Don't cloud the issue with trivial facts."

IrishOverlord

Not To Be Political...BUT....

I'm not going to go "political soap box" here, but just about every die-hard Trump supporters hits this moment. I have several conservative friends, so it's not like I can't get along with people that hold different views, but when you see and hear people spew hate dialect that isn't based anywhere in reality, you kinda want to ask where they heard this or tell them the truth. Any Alt-Right talking point is a good jump off area, haha!

One woman, completely unprompted, started complaining about illegal Mexicans having more rights than US citizens, and when I tried to push for her sources, she said she just "knows people", and that we need that wall ASAP! Then came the magic sentence starter of "Well, I'm not racist, BUT....", and it confirmed she was a bigoted idiot. Anything more than a smile and a nod would lead to me being dragged down to her level, and being beaten with her expertise of being a PoS.

Kirchetorte

"I'm A Genius..."

I had a coworker within their first couple days ask me to hold up a monitor while they screwed it in with thumb screws. I said "here, let me show you how to do it by yourself. "

Their reply was: "No, No, I have done this ten thousand times. I am a genius, just hold it." If they said anything after that I wasn't listening anymore. I was actually in shock a little bit.

FuFuKhan

Change Is Constant

I was arguing with my cousin about evolution.

He said "how can an animal just change?" He still wouldn't believe me even when I i told him that there were skeletons of these animals before evolution and his response was "They're probably different animals."

Dogewahd

The Duds Keep On Coming

I work in indoor hydroponic agriculture, one of the guys I used to work with believed that removing leaves helped the fruit grow bigger. He went ahead and stripped entire room. When confronted, he proceeded to voice that it diverted nutrients to the fruit... I looked at him like what the f-ck?

Did you miss out on 5th grade science class? Leaves are solar panels and nutrient storage, only time you defo a plant is when the canopy becomes too dense and light doesn't fully penetrate the canopy.

He now works at another facility, he also came out with this gem. "The Earth has to be flat because we perceive everything as curved because our eyes are round." That was my favorite.

CopperHorizon

We Need To Teach What "Objective" Means

People who say stuff like "ok, that's your opinion, but I have my own" when discussing about objective facts, like science issues, meaning of words...

Edit: A lot of people seem confused with my wording. I'm adding a couple of examples of what I mean:

Science: "Water boils at 70°C, that's my opinion"

Words: "In my opinion, the Spanish word 'hola' means 'dog'"

So basically, facts which are either true or false and not open to opinions.

Dr_Chemiramen

It...Uh...Doesn't...Huh?

Giphy

When I was arguing with someone about why milk doesn't go in first when making a cup of tea (a very English debate) and his argument was "when you add boiling water to cold milk, you're warming it up, but when you add cold milk to boiling water, you're cooling it down, and I don't want cold tea".

I tried to explain how the end temperature will be exactly the same regardless but he was already celebrating his self-awarded victory.

Scholesyman

Right....Dummy.

A co-worker went on a rant about how all teachers are lazy and only work from 8-3 while taking loads of holiday time while doing minimal work. I come from a family of teachers, so I could see the time put in at home, the lost weekends, the days of doing work till 7pm, the last two weeks of every summer holiday spent in school prepping the classroom for the next year, buying materials out of their own pocket because the school budget wouldn't cover it...

My co-workers responser?

"Well, I'm a parent so I know more about it than you do."

I nearly flipped my lid.

Bendanarama

People Who Witnessed A Teacher Break Down In Tears Share Their Experiences

Reddit user throwthrowwthrowwww asked: 'Students who've witnessed their teacher cry during class, what happened?'

Apple on a stack of textbooks
Element5 Digital/Unsplash

Teachers are not only educators, they're also inspiring leaders.

The most memorable teachers are those who genuinely encourage young students to do their best so they can be empowered to pursue their dreams.

However, we tend to revere them to such a degree, we forget that they're people too with real emotions.

Curious to hear from strangers who witnessed a vulnerable moment from someone they were inspired by at an early age, Redditor throwthrowwthrowwww asked:

"Students who've witnessed their teacher cry during class, what happened?"

There's no bigger heartbreak than people who are struggling with illnesses or know of someone facing medical challenges.

Ailing Teacher

"One of our music instructors 7th-12th grade. She had a long ongoing battle with stage three/four cancer. She always did her best to try to have fun during our classes, like it was an escape for her because she loved music so much. Over 85% of the entire high school joined choir because of her. Her chemo and radiation treatments left her exhausted some days, though, and she would occasionally break down. In 2012, when her condition worsened, she would have to take more days off because the cancer had become so debilitating."

"We continued to practice our songs while she was gone, and I swear we would sometimes spend an hour on one small section of a song, ripping every note apart, and repeating the same words over and over until we couldn't mess it up. One of the final days in class with her, I remember we were rehearsing for our upcoming state competition, and we sounded damn good. Mid-song, she stopped conducting, closed her eyes, folded her hands, and listened as we continued singing for her. The energy and sound was so profound throughout the room, I can't find the words to describe it."

"After the song finished, we stood in a long, complete silence before she opened her eyes with tears streaming down her face. She wasn't able to go to our state competition with us, but we ended up placing that year. It wasn't first like we were hoping, but it was the highest the school had ever placed. She later passed away that same year. She was one of the strongest women I had ever met in my life."

– Top-Box2372

Losing A Student

"My high school Spanish teacher also taught some homebound students with medical issues."

"One day the vice principal came into our class and told Ms J that one of her homebound students had passed away from his cancer. She couldn't hold back the tears."

– que_he_hecho

Wise Toddler

"I’m a teacher, I cried in front of my toddlers when I got a call from the hospital telling me it was time to make the call as to whether to pull my dads life support. One of my toddlers came up to me while I was crying, put her hand on my cheek and said 'it’s ok to feel sad, it’s ok to cry,' then gave me a hug. I love my job."

– Cheekygirl97

Students witnessed the following teachers get emotional.

Thoughtful Sixth-Graders

"The class surprised him on teacher appreciation day. Someone brought pop, snacks etc. He was surprised. 6th grade teacher."

– Stephlynn1234

Appreciation Day

"Had a philosophy course in uni during covid. So the class was held on zoom. It wasn't teacher appreciation day, but it was the second to last lecture of the term and we all really enjoyed this prof (and because of him most of the class became friends). So we organized an appreciation thing for him."

"We all started class without our cameras on, which was unusual and made him question (he got sad actually). So one girl said 'before we start, we just really wanted to do something for YOU because you've done so much for us. I hope this is okay.' He gave us a confused look, and before he could say anything in response we all turned our cameras on and held up signs saying 'thank you professor [name]' and our green screen backgrounds were of his face lol. He laughed so hard but started crying. Told us how he wished we could do this in person and that he genuinely cared about all of us."

"He had a lot of health issues, the most prominent one being MS. Whenever he didn't start class on time we all got worried, and there were a few times where he cancelled altogether because he fell or something. He also had a cat, and we asked to see him just enough times that his cat learned what time our class was at and would climb up to see us and stay the whole class. It was cute. During the breaks he would email a link to play chess since he lived far from his family and couldn't visit and wanted the company. We organized a Christmas movie day with him over the Christmas break and he loved it. He retired after the following year because of his health, and I still wonder what he's doing now and if he's doing okay. I've been in uni for 5 years now and he is the only prof I've actually spoken to consistently and genuinely liked."

– Burnt_Your_Toast

Sad Literature

"5th grade teacher reading Where the Red Fern Grows out loud to the class. He shed some tears. He did every year."

– SnoBunny1982

"Our teacher read that book to us in 5th grade also. But when it got to that part, she elected me to read it and she left the room. Luckily I had read it before and knew what was coming, but it was still rough."

– MIBariSax81

The Private Life Of An English Teacher

"I forgot his name, but he was one of my favored teachers in high school. He taught English."

"During class, he was called out to talk to some members of the school administration and a few proctors. It took several minutes. But he returned, taught as much of the class as he could, and then just walked over to his desk and started crying. Whimpering. He then left."

"He just found out his wife, who had also been a teacher, was having an affair with one of the female students. We didn't find out that specific fact until later on though."

– Typical_Samaritan

Some students, however, can force a teacher to realize they're in the wrong profession.

Bad Attitude

"Student that had behavior issues and a hard time maintaining emotional regulation threw his recorder (the instrument) at the music teacher and it snapped in half. He then threw his desk in her direction and walked out. This was 3rd grade, and all she had asked him to do was listen to the song we were learning. She quit the next week after almost 30 years of teaching."

– Last_Tuesdays_Beans

Bullying The Substitute

"Ms. Hanlon... Substitute teacher, I still think about her and hope she's doing well. She was posted as the teacher when the usual teachers were off sick. Absolutely zero respect was given to her and the class knew if we had Ms. Hanlon it was just an extended lunch, we could just mess around and act like animals for the whole lesson."

"She had physical conditions like a dent in her forehead and a gravvely voice which prevented her from being able to raise her voice to tell us to be quiet. So the kids would all do Hunchback of Notre Dame impressions, spitballs through straws and do the 'coughing game' where they would just cough through whatever she was trying to say."

"Even as a kid I felt kinda awful after we'd essentially broken her and she'd just come in not even say hello and pull open a book for the hour and sometimes cry into it. I weirdly still think about her randomly once or twice a month, I hope she moved on to way better things. School children really have no filter at all."

– PNCL

Absolutely Zero Respect

"Substitute teacher in Jr High must be among the world's worse jobs. 8th grade we had a sub that demanded and got no respect. Kids would throw stuff at her etc. She left the classroom crying then the vice principal, who was not to be messed with, came in and took over."

– woolash

Major Mockery

"I had a substitute teacher named Mr. Crane who looked exactly like Ichabod Crane from the old cartoon. Some kids in the class bullied him relentlessly for this and he just kind of broke down one day. Poor guy."

– backflip10019

In seventh grade, I witnessed a classmate talk back to our homeroom teacher and saying very inappropriate, bullish things to her in front of the whole class.

But that didn't make her cry.

What made her tear up was when another student defended her and yelled at the bullying student for being out of line.

It can be a pleasant and exciting surprise to see a friend or family member show up on the evening news.

Particularly if it is a story showcasing their accomplishments or allowing them to let their voice be heard on an important issue.

Of course, showing up on the news isn't always a joyous occasion.

Indeed, some people tune in to find their friends and family on the news for reasons they might hope people will eventually forget down the line.

Redditor Miguenzo was eager to hear stories of a loved one making the evening news for less than brag-worthy stories, leading them to ask:

"What’s the dumbest reason somebody you know landed on the 6 o’clock news?"

15 Minutes, Or Four Seconds, Of Fame...

"Years back, there was a college scholarship scam going on here."

"These companies would go to high schools and do a presentation, and grift parents into paying a large sum for the company to help get a scholarship."

"My mom took one look at this and was like, 'this is a scam'."

"My uncle bought it hook, line and sinker and paid up."

"And received absolutely nothing."

"So he calls our news program and they do a feature with this company in their 'hall of shame.'"

"My uncle was absolutely THRILLED."

"'They interviewed me for 4 hours!'"

"'It's going to be huge!'"

"We all sit around the TV."

"It's February 2000."

"Boom, there's my uncle!"

"They do the lead-in..and then, there's my uncle saying..."

"'They said, uh, sue 'em'."

"My uncle is screaming."

"'What the Hell?! They were at my house for 4 hours!'"

"We still have it on VHS somewhere."

"My uncle's star moment over in seconds."- JKW1988

Episode 19 News GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

Preserved For Posterity...

"My college roommate got stuck in an infant swing at a public park and firefighters had to use some type of Jaws of Life contraption to cut the swing down and cut her out of it."- Nocomt

Oops!

"I know a guy who was interviewed on camera up in the mountains where there was a forest fire."

"He had been up there fishing with his girlfriend."

"He was married."- Fezig

Close Call

"Dude was swimming laps in a lake after dinner (i.e., around sunset)."

"Predictably, he got bit by an alligator."

"I saw him on the news, shirtless in true Floridaman fashion, with a little bandage over each tooth mark."

"The bandages made a dotted line around his shoulder and chest in the shape of an alligator's mouth, like he was in a cartoon or something."- BigRedRobotNinja

Tiere Bis Unters Dach Swimming GIF by SWR KindernetzGiphy

Unpaid Extra

"There was a park nearby that had no drainage and was bowl shaped."

"So if it rained hard, this baseball park/ football field turned into a mini lake."

"It rained a lot one day and the news did a story just showing how much it rained, and in the background behind the news-woman, from out of frame you see my friend rowing past her in a kayak."- hook_killed_pan

Right Place At The Right Time?

"A fight broke out at a HS football game."

"Turned into a huge brouhaha.'

"They intervened this dumba** friend of mine on the local news, the only bit that made it into the broadcast was him saying 'For the first time in my life I was happy to see cops!'"- KneeDragr

Awww...

"Marrying their pet goldfish in an underwater ceremony, complete with a wedding gown and guests in scuba gear."- Candies-For-You

Illustration Swimming GIF by Ordinary NadeeGiphy

Strike!

'A childhood friend’s dad embezzled money from the local Little League team."- Key-Zebra-4125

How Did He Even Make It To The Freezer?

"An ex boyfriend of my best friend’s sister ended up on the news for breaking into a Checkers through the drive through window and locking himself in the freezer until the cops arrived and arrested him."- pineapple3712·

Ice Cream Snack GIF by My/Mochi Ice CreamGiphy

Setting An Example...

"I got filmed and aired sticking a swab up my nose at drive thru covid testing."

"I had just declined to be interviewed at my car because I was afraid of getting someone sick."

"Test was negative, and my sister got a new pic for my contact profile on her phone."- idiotsavant419

Criminals Don't Ususally Wait In The Check Out Line...

"My friend was going to target with his mom to buy a tv."

"They stopped at Starbucks in the store."

"When the worker asked what the wanted he said “'he money in the register see' like an old timey gangster, then laughed ordered and payed for their coffee and went into target."

"While they were pushing their cart with a tv in it to the check out line the swat team surrounded them and arrested him for armed robbery.. was on the news."

"Got charged and everything."

"The first hearing the barista could not point him out and the judge threw out the case."- MACHOmanJITSU

Returning To The Scene Of The Crime...

"A guy from my high school stole Michael Jackson's glove from the Motown Museum in Detroit MI in early 90s."

"He returned it."

"I knew it had to be him, and yep, it was."

"I remembered him because he dressed like Michael Jackson every single day of school for years."

"He did it really well, too."

"He also didn't talk much."

"So, I was surprised to see him talking to a TV reporter about it."

"I hope he's doing well."- ATK80k

Animated GIFGiphy

Some people crave their 15 minutes of fame and embrace it however it may come.

Others only hope that no one they knew happened to be watching their local news that night...

Even though they know deep down that all their friends have it on their DVR and are never planning to erase it...


People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.

Maybe it's the euphoria.

Maybe it's the adrenaline.

Maybe it's the tequila.

It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.

Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.

Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:

"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"

The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"

Geography matters.

Morbid Much?

In Bed Home GIFGiphy

"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."

Vixxay

Meow

"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."

shlanky369

"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."

"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"

"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."

Trumpet6789

POP!

"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"

"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."

DasBatt

"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."

"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."

Straystar-626

Damn it's Good

"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"

"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."

"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."

draftstone

A Binding Contract

"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."

"Still together 5 years later!"

Tatarstan

It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.

And it all starts with a handshake.

Sleep on It

“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"

lennyukdeejay

"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."

EvilNinjaX24

"This is the best one."

TomKhatacourtmayfind

Tiny Dancer

"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."

fleetwoodsackk

"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."

striker180

Fine!

"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"

"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."

Fullyme

"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”

OrwellWasRight101

Amen

"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"

"I married her, we still goin' at it."

BeBearAwareOK

Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.

woman in black pants and red tank top
Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Giving compliments is pretty easy, although most of us don't do it often enough.

Accepting compliments can be much harder.

Too many of us immediately shift into disclaimers to explain why we don't deserve the praise.

But we just need to say thank you—even if the compliment is a little odd.

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