Getting gifts is supposed to be a fun celebration of the occasion - but we all know that one person who uses gifting as an opportunity to air their beefs.
In the movies, it's someone like the catty mother-in-law, but here in the real world, this sort of pettiness can come from literally anywhere.
Reddit user itsthedreamteam asked:
Some people take these insults with a grain of salt, or brush them off as being the other persons issue. But for others, these gifts really hit on insecurities and soft spots and so they found them really hurtful.
How people handle getting awful gifts varies, but one thing is pretty consistent - these gift givers are flagrant petty little monsters. So if you've got one in your life, take comfort in knowing you're not alone.
Here are some of the most insulting gifts people have gotten from their own personal monsters.
"Chubbier Than That"
My mom always buys me clothes, more specifically shirts from target or goodwill, for every gift, even though:
a) I tell her I have too many clothes, I've been trying to get rid of clothes, I don't want or need anymore clothes
b) she always buys me sizes XL and up even though I'm a comfortable S/M, and then when I tell her it's too big, she always says, shocked, "I thought it would fit" , and occasionally even add that she thought I was "chubbier than that"
I have alopecia, which is when your hair falls out in random patches on your body. It got to the point that I had to shave my hair because I had bald spots on the top of my head. Having a bald head as a little girl was tough. I opted out of wearing hats or a bandanna because I felt dumb covering it up when everyone could already tell I was bald.
My grandma though would always force me to wear hats when I came over to her house. She would ALWAYS say stuff like "Little girls aren't supposed to look like that, cover up." It hurt but I ignored it and put the hats on, I was super quiet as a kid and didn't make a fuss.
For my birthday my grandma bought me 3 different kinds of hats. I remember sitting there wanting to cry the whole time after opening her gift but I just sat there quiet. Honestly, those 3 hats ruined my entire 9th birthday, I felt so ugly.
A Decade Of ChickensGiphy
When I was in high school my mom got me a shirt that made fun of my ADD. It referenced chickens. There's this common joke that goes something like "People say I have ADD, but they just don't under- OH LOOK A CHICKEN!"
She then proceeded to buy chicken related things for the next few years and to this day points out anything related to chickens like it's some kind of inside joke.
It didn't really bother me at first but after nearly a decade now it honestly hurts my feelings.
When I hadn't lost all my baby weight 6 months after child birth, my mother- in -law gave me a plastic pig magnet for the refrigerator. It oinked every time you opened the door.
My dad's third wife got me a book about manners. I used it to level her coffee table the same day. She re gifted it to me at least 5 other times, I found a way to put it back in her house every time.
Dark Body Hair
My divorced parents, independently, with no contact with each other, gave me a No-No (a hair removal device) and an offer for laser hair removal... without ever talking to me about my body hair before... and in front of everybody. 😐
I've been made fun of for my dark body hair all my life or dealt with people pointing out that I've 'missed a spot', so it especially was embarrassing when I never asked for either of those things.
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Be A "Better" Parent
My very religious ex mother in law gave me a book on better parenting through Christ.
A) I'm not at all religious and she knew it
B) It's rude and presumptuous to give someone a book on how to be a "better" parent.
How They Perceive Me
Size 4XL pants from my aunt. As a 170-pound teenage girl this crushed my spirit. I was only a size large but thought this was how they perceive how big I was...
She Meant Well
7 year old me was super in love with foxes. I made little clay models of fox families, had soft toys, drew pictures, etc.
My Yia Yia (grandma), knowing this, gave me a fox fur coat. It even had little fox tails hanging off it. Gracious little me thanked her with a trembling lip, then went home and sobbed. I remember hugging it as if I could bring it back to life but also being revolted by it. I handed it to mum and told her to burn it. Cried over that for days.
Yia Yia meant well, but man did the intention get corrupted somewhere. She bought me a plush toy fennec fox years later and kinda made up for it.
Embarrass And InsultGiphy
My mom gave me an electronic toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash for my birthday - right in front of my long term girlfriend and family... knowing full well I'm self conscious about my teeth and I already own all those things.
Later, when I very politely asked her to, in the future, do things like that privately she cried about how hard it was for to do that. How hard it was for her to embarrass and insult me on my birthday.
I'm thinking of getting her a self help book entitled "Living with old age" next year.
Towels. While the gift itself doesn't sound bad the reasoning behind it was incredibly insulting. I was 17 years old at the time and a senior in high school. It was a Christmas gift from my step-mother. She gave me a set of towels and told me I would need them when I moved out at 18. The kicker was she gave her son (my step brother) a brand new computer for Christmas. This was in 1992 when personal computers started around $4000.
I was pretty salty about it.
When I graduated college, my parents gave me a card to congratulate me. Inside the envelope, my never-showed-any-real-interest-in-my-life father had included a fridge magnet (and this was not intended to be a joke)... the fridge magnet said:
"Life doesn't come with an instruction book, that's why we have fathers"
This was given to me shortly after he had stormed out of my graduation ceremony early, because apparently he 'doesn't have time for this'.
I had/still have no words for that 'gift'.
Women's clothes and other things, because I'm a trans man and they knew it.
I am too. I've gotten perfume, make up/feminine body washes and stuff, and clothes. I give them to my sister and end up with nothing or not much.
I'm Not Fat
My Gramma once gave me cut out magazine articles about losing weight when I was 14 or 15... I wasn't fat. Also, Gramma, doctors don't prescribe amphetamines anymore! (Or they didn't 25 years ago, maybe they do now, I don't know because I'M NOT FAT!)
I started working evenings so my husband started having to make dinners. My MIL got me a magnet for the fridge that said "I'm too pretty to cook"
It's like cooking dinner is the only way a woman could possibly contribute to a household. And under no circumstances should this task fall on a man. Funny thing is my husband discovered that he truly loves cooking, it's not a chore but a passion.
The magnet was meant to be a jab. She has mastered the art of passive aggressiveness. I get lotions for Christmas that I'm allergic to. Unless I happen to also be pregnant. If I'm pregnant I get lotions I'm not allergic to. Mother's day cards that are simply signed " I know you try". Yeah, she can't stand me.
A book on how to apply makeup, and the best way to get dressed to look pretty, I'm not the best looking girl, and I got it from my mom and grandma, as like, a helpful book, and I felt insulted.
Father who left when my mom got pregnant sent me $10 and a card that said happy 15th birthday for my 16th. I was trying to save cash for a car so I took it, but now that I'm a father I literally can't imagine doing such a thing to my kids.
Christmas In August
I received a CD that has children singing revamped Christmas songs where they change the lyrics. First of all, I hate the sound of children singing. Secondly, Christmas music sucks and everyone knows it. Finally, re-vamped songs where the lyrics have been changed are unartistic, unintelligent pieces of shit. Weird Al Yankovic is a great example of this.
My aunt bought this for me for my birthday. My birthday is in August. I still don't talk to her at family gatherings.
A bible, because I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I'm not religious but, still, I felt like it was a way of telling me that I wasn't actually depressed, I just needed to pray.
I was raised by Christian parents and stepparent, I used to pray but I still got worse. Not blaming anyone, I just felt as if it didn't work.
This may seem dumb, but it kinda hurt me. So my mom had gotten me this book 2 years ago for/by "Geeky Girls" thinking it was a graphic novel kind of story. She chose that because I can't read well (its true, i struggle). She was sort of right, but I wasn't all that interested in the book - but that's not why it was insulting.
Last year leading up to Christmas, I was talking non-stop about Homestuck and was really hoping I'd get something relating to it. Nope.
Instead, my mom got me the exact same book from the year before. Really hurt.
I have a self-made millionaire uncle who decided to give me free samples from his company as both my birthday and Christmas present since I was born close to the 25th of December. His company sells ingredients to bakeries like Nabisco, so what I got was dried cranberries and chocolate chips, and a shitty golfing shirt with his company's name on it. The same shirts he gave out at his last convention appearance.
Someone To Love You
After I lost a bunch of weight, my grandmother sent me a card saying how I was pretty now "since you lost all that weight" and how I'd be able to find someone to love me. She also ended the card with "Don't eat too much again!" I was turning 17. It was a birthday card.
Apparently, Happy Birthday wasn't enough.
A Shaming Moment
When I was a teen I grew really tall real fast, I outgrew my shirts and they became belly shirts. Being 12 I didn't have any money so my mom started commenting on how much I like to show my stomach off. I told her I just don't have any clothes that fit. She goes and buys large size sweaters and such, everything is too big. "Now you don't have to dress slutty."
That logic never made sense to me. Everything I have is because you gave it to me. I hated that Christmas because when you're 12 -15, you're really insecure about everything and I hate that my mom turned a happy holiday into a shaming moment. She also gifted me a hairbrush when I told her mine broke 2 months prior.
She waited two months to replace an essential item so she could pass it off as a present. I had dreads in my hair that needed to be cut out because I wasn't able to brush my naturally curly hair. My mom is not very thoughtful. But I know she didn't mean to be so cruel.
Dirty And Fat
Last Christmas, my boyfriends family gave me an unwrapped bar of soap and the offer of a gym membership...
That's Not My Name
One relative always forgot how my name was spelled and bought me a misspelled personalized gift almost every single year.
When I was 15 and chubbier than my sister and mother (I was a size 8 compared to their 00 and 2) my grandma gave me a skirt she said she was sure would fit me. It did ... but it also fit my sister and my mom at the same time, and I'm sure if my dad was home, he could've stepped into it as well.
I took a year off of school after I graduated high school to stay home and make extra money, my parents bought me pots, pans, and Tupperware, and then said "We forgot you weren't going to school, but at least we can use them."
I was 8 years old hanging out in San Francisco with my mom and aunt. We stumble upon a toy store and my aunt gets excited and tells me to wait outside while she buys me something. This got me excited. What was she going to get me? Lego? Something that flies? Maybe another train for my Brio set?
She comes out and hands me a little stuffed Curious George toy, and I had never once been into Curious George. I knew about it, but I never expressed interest in it. My aunt on the other hand LOVED Curious George, and already had a bunch of the franchise's stuff at her place, and I never paid much attention to any of it. I take the doll and look at it, my 8 year old face unable to contain the disappointment. After tumbling it in my hands for a few seconds, she snatches it away from me and says, "Fine, if you don't like it, I'll take it!" Which of course makes my juvenile brain want it back and also to not upset her, but she kept it anyways.
Not so much an insulting gift, just an insulting experience from an Aunt who knew what I liked, but decided to get me a toy of something she liked instead.
I Didn't Want To
My college boyfriend's mother got me nothing for Christmas. I had been with him for 3 1/2 years, bought everyone in the family a couple gifts, and I was staying at their house for our entire winter break. I didn't bring it up. I already knew she didn't particularly care for me.
I heard my boyfriend ask her why there weren't any gifts for me and she flat out said "I didn't want to."
It's easy to get caught up in the past.
...so long as we knew what time of day it was going to be on.
What's something nostalgic for your age group?
Video games today are horrible!
Give us a 2-dimensional side-scroller of an Italian plumber fighting a dragon monster and nothing else good for many more years after that. Who needs all these fantastic releases, year in and year out, every year?
How Do We Enable "Big Head Mode?"
"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, select, start"
"My toddler son has a toy game controller that plays a little jingle if you put this code in. I loved that they put that little Easter egg into a kids toy and it makes my husband smile every time he does it."
When Was This Old? *cries in tired old man
"Anytime recently I've tried to get back into Minecraft it breaks my heart because the game just feels so different now. I played it from 2010 up until 2018 or 19 almost religiously, but the past couple years have really changed the game. I'm sure it's just as fun to play now, but it doesn't have that same nostalgia factor anymore like it used to."
Tests Of Parenthood
"Neopets in 2005"
"My girlfriend at the time made me take care of one as a test for being a father. Literally."
Some things you long for aren't actually possible to do anymore, leading to the reasoning this is why the nostalgia is at an all-time high. What's worse than missing something that no longer exists?
The Smell, The Sounds, The Sights, The Ambience
"Going to Blockbuster with my friends on a Friday"
"Renting cheesy horror movies and making fun of them with the group!"
You Can Miss That?
"Dial up modem noises"
"Kiiiiiiiiiiii…kiiuuuu…kiiiuuuu.. it was something like that right? I even forgot."
"And then I used to open yahoo login page and do some other work for few minutes and come back while it loads, and then enter id password, hit login and then get a coffee until it loads."
Illegal, But, Yeah
"I remember the really early days of mp3 sharing, before P2P came along. There were hundreds of FTP servers that you could connect to with huge libraries of mp3s. No domain name, just a raw IP address that you found somewhere on usenet."
"But they couldn't just give it away, because then everyone would take and nobody would give. So they had quota systems: you'd upload an mp3, and for every byte you uploaded, you'd get to download 2, or 3, or maybe even 5. And this was over dialup, so uploading or downloading a single file could take 30 minutes."
"But it was FTP. Very simple and dumb. There was no memory of your "credits" between sessions, so if you uploaded a bunch of stuff and then lost your connection, you were SOL."
"It amazes me to think how much time I spent getting a few songs that today I can play any time I want on Spotify."
For some people, this next section will sound silly.
For others, this was our childhood, which sadly (when you really think about it) revolved around a television schedule we had no input on, meaning we had to plan everything out around when the next episode of Power Rangers aired.
Cartoons After School Are The Best
"Anime on Toonami. Cartoon Cartoon Fridays"
"Toonami had really great western cartoons as well. I loved watching Samurai Jack, Ben 10, Teen Titans, and Clone Wars on Toonami growing up."
"Old Cartoon Network, spiky gelled hair"
"Old Cartoon Network" is an interesting answer because people are gonna have different ideas about what "Old Cartoon Network" is. I think of Ed, Edd n Eddy and Codename: Kids Next Door. Another commenter mentioned Gumball which is still well after my time."
When Life Revolved Around Someone Else's Schedule
"Born in the 70s, grew up in the 80s...I remember huddling around the TV as a family to watch certain things."
"For some reason, they would show The Wizard of Oz every year on network tv..and it was a big deal. My mom would make popcorn...in a pot on the stove (It was the 80's) and we'd sit on a blanket on the floor and watch."
Or Friday Nights....Dukes of Hazzard (when it was new). Mom would get takeout from Burger Chef...and we'd sit on the floor eating hamburgers watching 'dem Duke Boys at it again."
"Or in the summer....they'd show Creature from the Black Lagoon 3D on tv. 7-11 would give out free 3-D glasses."
"For the younger Redditors....this was well before any kind of streaming/on demand service...and back when cable TV and VCRs were still a luxury that a lot of people didn't have. So, you really only got to watch what was on the few channels that your antenna allowed."
"Another one is coming home from school to watch old shows like Gilligan's Island, The Munsters, The Addams Family, Batman, F-Troop."
"Or staying up late and at midnight....the TV would play the National Anthem....then show a control screen and just "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" like this: https://youtu.be/Cnchea6LHN0"
The good ol' days.
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When determining how to spend our life in a way that feels worthy, many place a heavy emphasis on experiences. We want to die with scars and stories.
And sticking our necks out inevitably leads to a whole lot of struggle. But that doesn't mean we wouldn't do the same thing the very next day if we could go back.
Some things, though we'll never do them again, were too important an experience to pass up.
Redditor JackIrishJack asked:
"What should you do once, but not twice?"
Many people talked about the life experiences, big and small, that influenced their outlook. They recommend people go through some discomfort to gain important awareness.
A Capacity for Empathy
"Working in the food industry I feel like everybody should do it once so they can have a respect for food workers but it's also a hell I never want to go through again"
Paying for a Daydream
"Buy a lottery ticket"
"You're not going to win, but buying a lottery ticket gives you the chance to dream and pretend. Having a second lottery ticket isn't going to make your dreams more vivid."
Plenty of Implications
"Visit Auschwitz. I firmly believe everyone should go visit it so as to not forget what humans are capable of doing to each other. But no need to visit twice. Once was enough for me."
Others brought up things which, if done twice, would be a sure sign that something is very very wrong.
Supposed To Be Permanent
"Learning how to walk. The first time - good on you. Having to
relearn a second time means something went terribly wrong."
Only Two Sets
"Lose all of your teeth" -- Outrageous_Cream_112
"Haha I had to think about this for a second" -- ApplesauceDoctr
Don't Wanna Find Yourself There Too Often
"Get beaten half to death breaks the concepts of your limits. Second time breaks the spirit. Third time is overkill."
Others apparently viewed the question as an opportunity for a little cleverness.
If You're Good
"Cut...you measure twice before." -- wxguy215
"For me its more like 'measure twice, make sure it's just a teeny bit too long then go back and shave it off little by little until it wedges in perfectly' " -- pistpuncher3000
As the Saying Goes
"Fool me" -- Thia_suzieUzi
"FOOL ME THREE TIMES FU** THE PEACE SIGN LOAD THE CHOPPA LET IT RAIN ON YOU" -- nixusthegod
Only a Couple to Work With
"Donate a kidney" -- RealisticDelusions77
"Donate one kidney, you're a hero. Donate two kidneys, you're a corpse. Donate three kidneys, you're a felon." -- Drach88
"Be born. Going through the birthing process again would probably kill my mother." -- cylonrobot
Here's hoping we can all find the healthy balance between living a full, experienced life and punishing ourselves a little too much.
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Whenever I visit clothing stores, I make it a point to fold the clothes I unfurl. That is apparently my downfall as a customer.
Because of this, fellow customers often peg me as an employee and always ask me questions like where the bathroom is, or if the store has certain sizes left in stock.
Umm, no, I don't work here. I'm just a responsible customer. As you were.
Many of us make assumptions about other people just by looking at them. Who knew we were so presumptuous?
Curious to hear the experiences of strangers online, Redditor lilmizzvalz asked:
"What do people assume about you, based on your appearance?"
People often misinterpret moods based on how someone looks. That's unfair, wouldn't you say?
"That I'm caring and supportive. I have a resting nice face."
"That I am always mad. Nope just dissociating and staring off into space."
Not Meaning To Be Mean
"That I'm mean. I have a resting mean face for a dude I guess. Also lately it's worse because I'm bigger now. I don't really notice how my face appears but apparently, I seem angry when I'm looking at stuff."
"'You should smile' and 'are you ok?' comments followed me from busboy, waiter, bartender my whole career."
When it comes to measuring intelligence of others, some people are just way off.
Hard To Live Up To Expectations
"That I'm clever. People keep saying it to me, but I'm dumb and that sh*t is hard to live up to."
"I have glasses."
Eyes Full Of Wisdom
"I apparently have something similar going on mixed with looking like I know sh*t, because people come up to me in public and ask about directions, bus schedules and stuff all the time. Like, they'll deliberately avoid other people to ask me. Including when I'm abroad and should look a bit out of place."
"They assume I have an intellectual disability. (And also that I'm deaf, since I'm not able to speak.)"
"No, I am a person with two university degrees who happen to need a wheelchair because of a nasty neurological illness."
People don't always look their age. Some don't even act their age. But these Redditors have gotten their fair share of wrong guesses for their ages.
"That I'm 15."
"I'm 38 and a doctor. 'Did you just finish school?' EVERY DAY."
"This thread was depressing to read as I am 38 but often get mistaken for 50. I hate y'all and your youthful beauty."
Some people are typed out as certain types of people with just one look.
Watch Your Tone
"That I have a southern accent. Not one stranger has ever suspected that I have a 'New Jersey' accent (Born and raised in New Jersey before moving south)"
Not A Biker
"That I ride a Harley and/or work on them. I'm bald with a long goatee and tons of tattoos, but I'm in IT for a living and don't ride motorcycles at all."
Like others have expressed in the thread, I've also been accused of having "resting b*tch face."
You know, that neutral expression where you're not smiling the one time you're not in a situation where you have to be "on" for other people?
Yeah, that one.
If someone's resting face comes across as unfriendly, well, perhaps it's best not to upset them by asking them what's wrong all the time. Just sayin'.
Ideally, a teacher should take the job because of a genuine interest in helping students, furthering their education as well as their self-development. Of course, it's not as simple as that (administrative issues aside). Unfortunately, there are some teachers out there who aren't cut out for the job––and they even have a mean streak when it comes to their students. The effects this can have on the learning process are dire.
Teachers don't get paid well, and they're well aware. Many stick with the job because they have a passion for teaching; many others stick with the job because of the position of inscrutable authority it offers them over helpless students.
People shared their experiences after Redditor Ara-Rat asked the online community,
"What did your teacher do that made you call them 'the worst teacher ever'?"
"Questioned 5th-grade teacher's manner of pluralizing a word on the board. Got sent to the library to look it up in a dictionary and report my findings to the class.
Decades later and I'm still mad at that woman for trying to publicly humiliate a ten-year-old student."
That's awful. What is with adults who try to deliberately an example out of children?
"My old band teacher..."
"My old band teacher threw a projector at his students. He left the district later that year."
That was... probably for the best, when you think about it. (I had a teacher who threw a girl's pencil case out the window when she wouldn't stop talking; no, he was not fired.)
"My 3rd-grade teacher..."
"My 3rd-grade teacher got frustrated with a kid's stutter and started pounding the kid's desk with a closed fist while mocking his stutter."
Hopefully this teacher was disciplined and/or fired. That's the sort of behavior that thankfully would not fly today––it would go viral so fast.
"The worst were the teachers..."
"The worst were the teachers who would take books away from me and hold me up for ridicule because they disagreed or didn't approve of the genre or subject material. I was always into science fiction and horror genre's and many of them didn't consider it true literature worthy of reading. I remember my father getting into it with one of the teachers who disapproved of Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, to which he pointed out it was on the required reading list of a lot of major universities. Dad was awesome like that, and chewed the teacher and principal out for having the temerity to try to stop any student who wanted to read, regardless of what the genre was."
Teachers who mock students for reading are the worst. Reading is one of the best things any student can do––there are so many benefits! Hopefully you have not lost your love of reading.
"When I'd instinctively try..."
"She tied me to my chair. I was hyperactive, and also 5. She would also hold my hand during formation in the mornings and squeeze so hard my tiny knuckles would crack. When I'd instinctively try to pull my hand away, she'd hold onto it and smile at me and ask me if it hurt."
The abuse here is almost incomprehensible. But it happens: a few years ago, a teacher made headlines for hanging a student by his coat on a coatrack. You can bet there were lawsuits.
"I was in the only dress I owned..."
"Tried to get me suspended for a dress code violation when I was 15. I was in the only dress I owned at the time because I was going to my best friend's funeral. She'd committed suicide two days before. I was crying and begging her to just let me stay till my mom picked up my remaining friends to go to the funeral. Said teacher then took me to the office and I had to sit in the front office under a tarp until my mom picked me up."
"My 8th grade English teacher..."
"My 8th grade English teacher never published grades and every time I'd ask her about it she'd answer with, "I don't know, what do you think it is?"
IF I KNEW WOULD I BE ASKING?!"
I've had a few teachers like this. Makes one wonder: Are you actually grading anything? WHAT are you doing, exactly?
"My biology teacher..."
"My biology teacher took my yearbook away right before the summer break. I didn't put it away in time.
That year my parents divorced and I was moving away. I told her this after class and she didn't care. She kept it until the last day. I didn't get any signatures.
Ended up throwing it away. What a witch."
"My university lecturer..."
"My university lecturer was the most incompetent bloke I've ever met. He taught I.T and for the life of me, I can't figure out how he got that job.
- In the first lesson, he got us to sign up to Twitter so we could share lesson content, tweet at each other so we'd get to know one another, and also tweet him. Everybody, including the lecturer, used Twitter once. We just used the university intranet to share stuff.
- Again, during the first lesson, he announced he was going on holiday for four weeks during our first term.
- All of his lessons were PowerPoint presentations, each slide had about a paragraph of text written on them which he would read out loud while awkwardly looking over his shoulder. Once he was done doing that he would essentially repeat what he had just said.
- One day he asked us for help in booking his airline tickets online because he couldn't figure out how to use the website.
As sad as these stories are, consider that these teachers are very much the exception to the rule. The majority of the teachers I have known over the years genuinely care for their students, work tirelessly on their lesson plans, and would never tolerate a single moment of the behavior featured here. Thank you to those teachers for doing their jobs––we appreciate you. (And ya'll deserve a raise, it's honestly messed up how little lawmakers understand about how hard your jobs actually are.)
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!
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