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People Share The Most Insulting Gift They've Ever Received

People Share The Most Insulting Gift They've Ever Received
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Getting gifts is supposed to be a fun celebration of the occasion - but we all know that one person who uses gifting as an opportunity to air their beefs.

In the movies, it's someone like the catty mother-in-law, but here in the real world, this sort of pettiness can come from literally anywhere.


Reddit user itsthedreamteam asked:

What's the most insulting gift you've ever received?


Some people take these insults with a grain of salt, or brush them off as being the other persons issue. But for others, these gifts really hit on insecurities and soft spots and so they found them really hurtful.

How people handle getting awful gifts varies, but one thing is pretty consistent - these gift givers are flagrant petty little monsters. So if you've got one in your life, take comfort in knowing you're not alone.

Here are some of the most insulting gifts people have gotten from their own personal monsters.

"Chubbier Than That" 

My mom always buys me clothes, more specifically shirts from target or goodwill, for every gift, even though:

a) I tell her I have too many clothes, I've been trying to get rid of clothes, I don't want or need anymore clothes

b) she always buys me sizes XL and up even though I'm a comfortable S/M, and then when I tell her it's too big, she always says, shocked, "I thought it would fit" , and occasionally even add that she thought I was "chubbier than that"

- ragenbake

Three Hats

I have alopecia, which is when your hair falls out in random patches on your body. It got to the point that I had to shave my hair because I had bald spots on the top of my head. Having a bald head as a little girl was tough. I opted out of wearing hats or a bandanna because I felt dumb covering it up when everyone could already tell I was bald.

My grandma though would always force me to wear hats when I came over to her house. She would ALWAYS say stuff like "Little girls aren't supposed to look like that, cover up." It hurt but I ignored it and put the hats on, I was super quiet as a kid and didn't make a fuss.

For my birthday my grandma bought me 3 different kinds of hats. I remember sitting there wanting to cry the whole time after opening her gift but I just sat there quiet. Honestly, those 3 hats ruined my entire 9th birthday, I felt so ugly.

- tiltedrides

A Decade Of Chickens

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When I was in high school my mom got me a shirt that made fun of my ADD. It referenced chickens. There's this common joke that goes something like "People say I have ADD, but they just don't under- OH LOOK A CHICKEN!"

She then proceeded to buy chicken related things for the next few years and to this day points out anything related to chickens like it's some kind of inside joke.

It didn't really bother me at first but after nearly a decade now it honestly hurts my feelings.

- EndFace_

Oink

When I hadn't lost all my baby weight 6 months after child birth, my mother- in -law gave me a plastic pig magnet for the refrigerator. It oinked every time you opened the door.

- annehewitt

Manners

My dad's third wife got me a book about manners. I used it to level her coffee table the same day. She re gifted it to me at least 5 other times, I found a way to put it back in her house every time.

- Browncoat_Loyalist

Dark Body Hair

My divorced parents, independently, with no contact with each other, gave me a No-No (a hair removal device) and an offer for laser hair removal... without ever talking to me about my body hair before... and in front of everybody. 😐

I've been made fun of for my dark body hair all my life or dealt with people pointing out that I've 'missed a spot', so it especially was embarrassing when I never asked for either of those things.

- milkdudfanatic

Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Be A "Better" Parent

My very religious ex mother in law gave me a book on better parenting through Christ.

A) I'm not at all religious and she knew it

B) It's rude and presumptuous to give someone a book on how to be a "better" parent.

- MrsSarahMascara

How They Perceive Me

Size 4XL pants from my aunt. As a 170-pound teenage girl this crushed my spirit. I was only a size large but thought this was how they perceive how big I was...

- Batattack_

She Meant Well

7 year old me was super in love with foxes. I made little clay models of fox families, had soft toys, drew pictures, etc.

My Yia Yia (grandma), knowing this, gave me a fox fur coat. It even had little fox tails hanging off it. Gracious little me thanked her with a trembling lip, then went home and sobbed. I remember hugging it as if I could bring it back to life but also being revolted by it. I handed it to mum and told her to burn it. Cried over that for days.

Yia Yia meant well, but man did the intention get corrupted somewhere. She bought me a plush toy fennec fox years later and kinda made up for it.

- miss_kimba

Embarrass And Insult

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My mom gave me an electronic toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash for my birthday - right in front of my long term girlfriend and family... knowing full well I'm self conscious about my teeth and I already own all those things.

Later, when I very politely asked her to, in the future, do things like that privately she cried about how hard it was for to do that. How hard it was for her to embarrass and insult me on my birthday.

I'm thinking of getting her a self help book entitled "Living with old age" next year.

- Douglerful

Towels

Towels. While the gift itself doesn't sound bad the reasoning behind it was incredibly insulting. I was 17 years old at the time and a senior in high school. It was a Christmas gift from my step-mother. She gave me a set of towels and told me I would need them when I moved out at 18. The kicker was she gave her son (my step brother) a brand new computer for Christmas. This was in 1992 when personal computers started around $4000.

I was pretty salty about it.

- TXEsrever

No Words

When I graduated college, my parents gave me a card to congratulate me. Inside the envelope, my never-showed-any-real-interest-in-my-life father had included a fridge magnet (and this was not intended to be a joke)... the fridge magnet said:

"Life doesn't come with an instruction book, that's why we have fathers"

This was given to me shortly after he had stormed out of my graduation ceremony early, because apparently he 'doesn't have time for this'.

I had/still have no words for that 'gift'.

- howtheeffdidigethere

Women's Clothes

Women's clothes and other things, because I'm a trans man and they knew it.

- Summer_1503

I am too. I've gotten perfume, make up/feminine body washes and stuff, and clothes. I give them to my sister and end up with nothing or not much.

- unfortunatereddituse

I'm Not Fat

My Gramma once gave me cut out magazine articles about losing weight when I was 14 or 15... I wasn't fat. Also, Gramma, doctors don't prescribe amphetamines anymore! (Or they didn't 25 years ago, maybe they do now, I don't know because I'M NOT FAT!)

- glitter_is_my_game

Too Pretty

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I started working evenings so my husband started having to make dinners. My MIL got me a magnet for the fridge that said "I'm too pretty to cook"

It's like cooking dinner is the only way a woman could possibly contribute to a household. And under no circumstances should this task fall on a man. Funny thing is my husband discovered that he truly loves cooking, it's not a chore but a passion.

The magnet was meant to be a jab. She has mastered the art of passive aggressiveness. I get lotions for Christmas that I'm allergic to. Unless I happen to also be pregnant. If I'm pregnant I get lotions I'm not allergic to. Mother's day cards that are simply signed " I know you try". Yeah, she can't stand me.

- beattothepunch

Thanks, Grandma

A book on how to apply makeup, and the best way to get dressed to look pretty, I'm not the best looking girl, and I got it from my mom and grandma, as like, a helpful book, and I felt insulted.

- thenoobster420

Happy 15th

Father who left when my mom got pregnant sent me $10 and a card that said happy 15th birthday for my 16th. I was trying to save cash for a car so I took it, but now that I'm a father I literally can't imagine doing such a thing to my kids.

- ShoeboxJon

Christmas In August

I received a CD that has children singing revamped Christmas songs where they change the lyrics. First of all, I hate the sound of children singing. Secondly, Christmas music sucks and everyone knows it. Finally, re-vamped songs where the lyrics have been changed are unartistic, unintelligent pieces of shit. Weird Al Yankovic is a great example of this.

My aunt bought this for me for my birthday. My birthday is in August. I still don't talk to her at family gatherings.

- stokeszdude

Just Pray

A bible, because I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I'm not religious but, still, I felt like it was a way of telling me that I wasn't actually depressed, I just needed to pray.

I was raised by Christian parents and stepparent, I used to pray but I still got worse. Not blaming anyone, I just felt as if it didn't work.

- BluuZ3

Geeky Girls

This may seem dumb, but it kinda hurt me. So my mom had gotten me this book 2 years ago for/by "Geeky Girls" thinking it was a graphic novel kind of story. She chose that because I can't read well (its true, i struggle). She was sort of right, but I wasn't all that interested in the book - but that's not why it was insulting.

Last year leading up to Christmas, I was talking non-stop about Homestuck and was really hoping I'd get something relating to it. Nope.

Instead, my mom got me the exact same book from the year before. Really hurt.

- smolgay-birb

Free Samples

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I have a self-made millionaire uncle who decided to give me free samples from his company as both my birthday and Christmas present since I was born close to the 25th of December. His company sells ingredients to bakeries like Nabisco, so what I got was dried cranberries and chocolate chips, and a shitty golfing shirt with his company's name on it. The same shirts he gave out at his last convention appearance.

- Kicksbuttson

Someone To Love You

After I lost a bunch of weight, my grandmother sent me a card saying how I was pretty now "since you lost all that weight" and how I'd be able to find someone to love me. She also ended the card with "Don't eat too much again!" I was turning 17. It was a birthday card.

Apparently, Happy Birthday wasn't enough.

- ard6612

A Shaming Moment

When I was a teen I grew really tall real fast, I outgrew my shirts and they became belly shirts. Being 12 I didn't have any money so my mom started commenting on how much I like to show my stomach off. I told her I just don't have any clothes that fit. She goes and buys large size sweaters and such, everything is too big. "Now you don't have to dress slutty."

WTF?

That logic never made sense to me. Everything I have is because you gave it to me. I hated that Christmas because when you're 12 -15, you're really insecure about everything and I hate that my mom turned a happy holiday into a shaming moment. She also gifted me a hairbrush when I told her mine broke 2 months prior.

She waited two months to replace an essential item so she could pass it off as a present. I had dreads in my hair that needed to be cut out because I wasn't able to brush my naturally curly hair. My mom is not very thoughtful. But I know she didn't mean to be so cruel.

- DilatedPoopil

Dirty And Fat

Last Christmas, my boyfriends family gave me an unwrapped bar of soap and the offer of a gym membership...

- IMainMaine

That's Not My Name

One relative always forgot how my name was spelled and bought me a misspelled personalized gift almost every single year.

- HipsterBiffTannen

Everybody In

When I was 15 and chubbier than my sister and mother (I was a size 8 compared to their 00 and 2) my grandma gave me a skirt she said she was sure would fit me. It did ... but it also fit my sister and my mom at the same time, and I'm sure if my dad was home, he could've stepped into it as well.

- Rose-Bradwardine

We Forgot

I took a year off of school after I graduated high school to stay home and make extra money, my parents bought me pots, pans, and Tupperware, and then said "We forgot you weren't going to school, but at least we can use them."

- [deleted]

Curious

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I was 8 years old hanging out in San Francisco with my mom and aunt. We stumble upon a toy store and my aunt gets excited and tells me to wait outside while she buys me something. This got me excited. What was she going to get me? Lego? Something that flies? Maybe another train for my Brio set?

She comes out and hands me a little stuffed Curious George toy, and I had never once been into Curious George. I knew about it, but I never expressed interest in it. My aunt on the other hand LOVED Curious George, and already had a bunch of the franchise's stuff at her place, and I never paid much attention to any of it. I take the doll and look at it, my 8 year old face unable to contain the disappointment. After tumbling it in my hands for a few seconds, she snatches it away from me and says, "Fine, if you don't like it, I'll take it!" Which of course makes my juvenile brain want it back and also to not upset her, but she kept it anyways.

Not so much an insulting gift, just an insulting experience from an Aunt who knew what I liked, but decided to get me a toy of something she liked instead.

- Subaru2013

I Didn't Want To

Nothing.

My college boyfriend's mother got me nothing for Christmas. I had been with him for 3 1/2 years, bought everyone in the family a couple gifts, and I was staying at their house for our entire winter break. I didn't bring it up. I already knew she didn't particularly care for me.

I heard my boyfriend ask her why there weren't any gifts for me and she flat out said "I didn't want to."

- gore-schach

People Who Witnessed A Teacher Break Down In Tears Share Their Experiences

Reddit user throwthrowwthrowwww asked: 'Students who've witnessed their teacher cry during class, what happened?'

Apple on a stack of textbooks
Element5 Digital/Unsplash

Teachers are not only educators, they're also inspiring leaders.

The most memorable teachers are those who genuinely encourage young students to do their best so they can be empowered to pursue their dreams.

However, we tend to revere them to such a degree, we forget that they're people too with real emotions.

Curious to hear from strangers who witnessed a vulnerable moment from someone they were inspired by at an early age, Redditor throwthrowwthrowwww asked:

"Students who've witnessed their teacher cry during class, what happened?"

There's no bigger heartbreak than people who are struggling with illnesses or know of someone facing medical challenges.

Ailing Teacher

"One of our music instructors 7th-12th grade. She had a long ongoing battle with stage three/four cancer. She always did her best to try to have fun during our classes, like it was an escape for her because she loved music so much. Over 85% of the entire high school joined choir because of her. Her chemo and radiation treatments left her exhausted some days, though, and she would occasionally break down. In 2012, when her condition worsened, she would have to take more days off because the cancer had become so debilitating."

"We continued to practice our songs while she was gone, and I swear we would sometimes spend an hour on one small section of a song, ripping every note apart, and repeating the same words over and over until we couldn't mess it up. One of the final days in class with her, I remember we were rehearsing for our upcoming state competition, and we sounded damn good. Mid-song, she stopped conducting, closed her eyes, folded her hands, and listened as we continued singing for her. The energy and sound was so profound throughout the room, I can't find the words to describe it."

"After the song finished, we stood in a long, complete silence before she opened her eyes with tears streaming down her face. She wasn't able to go to our state competition with us, but we ended up placing that year. It wasn't first like we were hoping, but it was the highest the school had ever placed. She later passed away that same year. She was one of the strongest women I had ever met in my life."

– Top-Box2372

Losing A Student

"My high school Spanish teacher also taught some homebound students with medical issues."

"One day the vice principal came into our class and told Ms J that one of her homebound students had passed away from his cancer. She couldn't hold back the tears."

– que_he_hecho

Wise Toddler

"I’m a teacher, I cried in front of my toddlers when I got a call from the hospital telling me it was time to make the call as to whether to pull my dads life support. One of my toddlers came up to me while I was crying, put her hand on my cheek and said 'it’s ok to feel sad, it’s ok to cry,' then gave me a hug. I love my job."

– Cheekygirl97

Students witnessed the following teachers get emotional.

Thoughtful Sixth-Graders

"The class surprised him on teacher appreciation day. Someone brought pop, snacks etc. He was surprised. 6th grade teacher."

– Stephlynn1234

Appreciation Day

"Had a philosophy course in uni during covid. So the class was held on zoom. It wasn't teacher appreciation day, but it was the second to last lecture of the term and we all really enjoyed this prof (and because of him most of the class became friends). So we organized an appreciation thing for him."

"We all started class without our cameras on, which was unusual and made him question (he got sad actually). So one girl said 'before we start, we just really wanted to do something for YOU because you've done so much for us. I hope this is okay.' He gave us a confused look, and before he could say anything in response we all turned our cameras on and held up signs saying 'thank you professor [name]' and our green screen backgrounds were of his face lol. He laughed so hard but started crying. Told us how he wished we could do this in person and that he genuinely cared about all of us."

"He had a lot of health issues, the most prominent one being MS. Whenever he didn't start class on time we all got worried, and there were a few times where he cancelled altogether because he fell or something. He also had a cat, and we asked to see him just enough times that his cat learned what time our class was at and would climb up to see us and stay the whole class. It was cute. During the breaks he would email a link to play chess since he lived far from his family and couldn't visit and wanted the company. We organized a Christmas movie day with him over the Christmas break and he loved it. He retired after the following year because of his health, and I still wonder what he's doing now and if he's doing okay. I've been in uni for 5 years now and he is the only prof I've actually spoken to consistently and genuinely liked."

– Burnt_Your_Toast

Sad Literature

"5th grade teacher reading Where the Red Fern Grows out loud to the class. He shed some tears. He did every year."

– SnoBunny1982

"Our teacher read that book to us in 5th grade also. But when it got to that part, she elected me to read it and she left the room. Luckily I had read it before and knew what was coming, but it was still rough."

– MIBariSax81

The Private Life Of An English Teacher

"I forgot his name, but he was one of my favored teachers in high school. He taught English."

"During class, he was called out to talk to some members of the school administration and a few proctors. It took several minutes. But he returned, taught as much of the class as he could, and then just walked over to his desk and started crying. Whimpering. He then left."

"He just found out his wife, who had also been a teacher, was having an affair with one of the female students. We didn't find out that specific fact until later on though."

– Typical_Samaritan

Some students, however, can force a teacher to realize they're in the wrong profession.

Bad Attitude

"Student that had behavior issues and a hard time maintaining emotional regulation threw his recorder (the instrument) at the music teacher and it snapped in half. He then threw his desk in her direction and walked out. This was 3rd grade, and all she had asked him to do was listen to the song we were learning. She quit the next week after almost 30 years of teaching."

– Last_Tuesdays_Beans

Bullying The Substitute

"Ms. Hanlon... Substitute teacher, I still think about her and hope she's doing well. She was posted as the teacher when the usual teachers were off sick. Absolutely zero respect was given to her and the class knew if we had Ms. Hanlon it was just an extended lunch, we could just mess around and act like animals for the whole lesson."

"She had physical conditions like a dent in her forehead and a gravvely voice which prevented her from being able to raise her voice to tell us to be quiet. So the kids would all do Hunchback of Notre Dame impressions, spitballs through straws and do the 'coughing game' where they would just cough through whatever she was trying to say."

"Even as a kid I felt kinda awful after we'd essentially broken her and she'd just come in not even say hello and pull open a book for the hour and sometimes cry into it. I weirdly still think about her randomly once or twice a month, I hope she moved on to way better things. School children really have no filter at all."

– PNCL

Absolutely Zero Respect

"Substitute teacher in Jr High must be among the world's worse jobs. 8th grade we had a sub that demanded and got no respect. Kids would throw stuff at her etc. She left the classroom crying then the vice principal, who was not to be messed with, came in and took over."

– woolash

Major Mockery

"I had a substitute teacher named Mr. Crane who looked exactly like Ichabod Crane from the old cartoon. Some kids in the class bullied him relentlessly for this and he just kind of broke down one day. Poor guy."

– backflip10019

In seventh grade, I witnessed a classmate talk back to our homeroom teacher and saying very inappropriate, bullish things to her in front of the whole class.

But that didn't make her cry.

What made her tear up was when another student defended her and yelled at the bullying student for being out of line.

It can be a pleasant and exciting surprise to see a friend or family member show up on the evening news.

Particularly if it is a story showcasing their accomplishments or allowing them to let their voice be heard on an important issue.

Of course, showing up on the news isn't always a joyous occasion.

Indeed, some people tune in to find their friends and family on the news for reasons they might hope people will eventually forget down the line.

Redditor Miguenzo was eager to hear stories of a loved one making the evening news for less than brag-worthy stories, leading them to ask:

"What’s the dumbest reason somebody you know landed on the 6 o’clock news?"

15 Minutes, Or Four Seconds, Of Fame...

"Years back, there was a college scholarship scam going on here."

"These companies would go to high schools and do a presentation, and grift parents into paying a large sum for the company to help get a scholarship."

"My mom took one look at this and was like, 'this is a scam'."

"My uncle bought it hook, line and sinker and paid up."

"And received absolutely nothing."

"So he calls our news program and they do a feature with this company in their 'hall of shame.'"

"My uncle was absolutely THRILLED."

"'They interviewed me for 4 hours!'"

"'It's going to be huge!'"

"We all sit around the TV."

"It's February 2000."

"Boom, there's my uncle!"

"They do the lead-in..and then, there's my uncle saying..."

"'They said, uh, sue 'em'."

"My uncle is screaming."

"'What the Hell?! They were at my house for 4 hours!'"

"We still have it on VHS somewhere."

"My uncle's star moment over in seconds."- JKW1988

Episode 19 News GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

Preserved For Posterity...

"My college roommate got stuck in an infant swing at a public park and firefighters had to use some type of Jaws of Life contraption to cut the swing down and cut her out of it."- Nocomt

Oops!

"I know a guy who was interviewed on camera up in the mountains where there was a forest fire."

"He had been up there fishing with his girlfriend."

"He was married."- Fezig

Close Call

"Dude was swimming laps in a lake after dinner (i.e., around sunset)."

"Predictably, he got bit by an alligator."

"I saw him on the news, shirtless in true Floridaman fashion, with a little bandage over each tooth mark."

"The bandages made a dotted line around his shoulder and chest in the shape of an alligator's mouth, like he was in a cartoon or something."- BigRedRobotNinja

Tiere Bis Unters Dach Swimming GIF by SWR KindernetzGiphy

Unpaid Extra

"There was a park nearby that had no drainage and was bowl shaped."

"So if it rained hard, this baseball park/ football field turned into a mini lake."

"It rained a lot one day and the news did a story just showing how much it rained, and in the background behind the news-woman, from out of frame you see my friend rowing past her in a kayak."- hook_killed_pan

Right Place At The Right Time?

"A fight broke out at a HS football game."

"Turned into a huge brouhaha.'

"They intervened this dumba** friend of mine on the local news, the only bit that made it into the broadcast was him saying 'For the first time in my life I was happy to see cops!'"- KneeDragr

Awww...

"Marrying their pet goldfish in an underwater ceremony, complete with a wedding gown and guests in scuba gear."- Candies-For-You

Illustration Swimming GIF by Ordinary NadeeGiphy

Strike!

'A childhood friend’s dad embezzled money from the local Little League team."- Key-Zebra-4125

How Did He Even Make It To The Freezer?

"An ex boyfriend of my best friend’s sister ended up on the news for breaking into a Checkers through the drive through window and locking himself in the freezer until the cops arrived and arrested him."- pineapple3712·

Ice Cream Snack GIF by My/Mochi Ice CreamGiphy

Setting An Example...

"I got filmed and aired sticking a swab up my nose at drive thru covid testing."

"I had just declined to be interviewed at my car because I was afraid of getting someone sick."

"Test was negative, and my sister got a new pic for my contact profile on her phone."- idiotsavant419

Criminals Don't Ususally Wait In The Check Out Line...

"My friend was going to target with his mom to buy a tv."

"They stopped at Starbucks in the store."

"When the worker asked what the wanted he said “'he money in the register see' like an old timey gangster, then laughed ordered and payed for their coffee and went into target."

"While they were pushing their cart with a tv in it to the check out line the swat team surrounded them and arrested him for armed robbery.. was on the news."

"Got charged and everything."

"The first hearing the barista could not point him out and the judge threw out the case."- MACHOmanJITSU

Returning To The Scene Of The Crime...

"A guy from my high school stole Michael Jackson's glove from the Motown Museum in Detroit MI in early 90s."

"He returned it."

"I knew it had to be him, and yep, it was."

"I remembered him because he dressed like Michael Jackson every single day of school for years."

"He did it really well, too."

"He also didn't talk much."

"So, I was surprised to see him talking to a TV reporter about it."

"I hope he's doing well."- ATK80k

Animated GIFGiphy

Some people crave their 15 minutes of fame and embrace it however it may come.

Others only hope that no one they knew happened to be watching their local news that night...

Even though they know deep down that all their friends have it on their DVR and are never planning to erase it...


People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.

Maybe it's the euphoria.

Maybe it's the adrenaline.

Maybe it's the tequila.

It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.

Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.

Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:

"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"

The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"

Geography matters.

Morbid Much?

In Bed Home GIFGiphy

"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."

Vixxay

Meow

"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."

shlanky369

"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."

"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"

"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."

Trumpet6789

POP!

"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"

"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."

DasBatt

"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."

"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."

Straystar-626

Damn it's Good

"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"

"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."

"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."

draftstone

A Binding Contract

"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."

"Still together 5 years later!"

Tatarstan

It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.

And it all starts with a handshake.

Sleep on It

“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"

lennyukdeejay

"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."

EvilNinjaX24

"This is the best one."

TomKhatacourtmayfind

Tiny Dancer

"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."

fleetwoodsackk

"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."

striker180

Fine!

"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"

"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."

Fullyme

"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”

OrwellWasRight101

Amen

"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"

"I married her, we still goin' at it."

BeBearAwareOK

Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.

woman in black pants and red tank top
Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Giving compliments is pretty easy, although most of us don't do it often enough.

Accepting compliments can be much harder.

Too many of us immediately shift into disclaimers to explain why we don't deserve the praise.

But we just need to say thank you—even if the compliment is a little odd.

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