People Share The Most "Dad" Thing They've Ever Done
I'm turning into my father...
Being a parent means saying things you'd never thought you would, and a lot of that depends on what you're children are doing. "Don't put clay on your pizza," and, "Stop hitting your sister in the head with an X-Box controller," are probably common phrases in most households.
It's those moments when you've become self-aware of the things you've said or done that are most critical in what kind of mom or dad you're going to be. For some people, it was exactly one moment.
Reddit user, u/TwighRussell, wanted to know specifically about self-aware dads when they asked:
What the most 'dad' thing you have ever done?
40. When You Don't Want To Miss A Thing
When my son was two, we were watching TV at the top of the stairs while he toddled. He walked over to the stair, fell, and started to go end over end down the stairs.
From the couch I leapt and grabbed him by the ankle and saved him from tumbling down stairs.
As I settled my Adrenalin-riddled heart down, I realized I had paused my show before making a leap to save my son.
39. When You're Always Ready With A Pep Talk...Even When They're Not Your Kids
I was at a concert in a very small venue.
The opener was playing (Moses Sumney I believe) and I was right at the front. He said something like "I've never played this next song live before, so hopefully I don't f-ck it up", and I immediately replied with "just try your best", right when the whole room went quiet. He then replied back to me with "thanks, dad". Proudest moment of my fatherly career.
38. When Harmless Pranks Are The Best
My daughter, Jessica, was about 12 or 13. I had left the car in the street for some reason and needed to put it back in the driveway.
So, I grab my keys and head for the door. Jessica says, "Where you going?" I say, "You want to come?" She says, "Yes."
We got out to the car, get buckled in, I pull it in the driveway and get out.
She is almost 40, I don't think she has forgiven me yet.
37. When You Love Your Kids...Promise
Oh man I've recently realised I'm turning into my father. I have 2 young boys now and I swear in the last 3 years I've aged 20.
Every year when I used to ask my dad what he wanted for his birthday he'd say 'peace and bloody quiet.' Without fail.
Now I truly understand this. That's all I want too. Just please, for the love of god, give me five minutes.
I just want to sit. And stare and things. And say nothing. And not have to tidy, police or answer the same d-mn question about Iron Man or Elephants 14 times in a row.
I love my kids. I promise.
36. When Your Stuff Is The Most Important Thing
When my kids and their friends are playing in the basement I like to yell from the top of the stairs "HAVE FUN, BUT DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!" For no real reason.
35. When You Find A Great "Dad-ism"
Yelled at my son that's it's not Christmas when he keeps leaving lights on in every room
34. When You Don't Even Have Kids
I bought a new lawn mower on a Friday night, and ended up waking up early Saturday morning eager to use it. But I realized it was still early (before 7am) and didn't want to disturb my neighbors.
So I basically sat around the house for a couple hours twiddling in thumbs excitedly waiting to use my new lawn mower.
I'm 24, unmarried, and have no kids. Is it over guys?
33. When You Feel Good About Lying To Your Kids
Sent my daughter a "New phone, who dis?" when she texted me to pick her up at the Amtrak station.
32. When The Moshing Is Just Too Close
I was at Riot Fest in Chicago a few years ago. System of A Down was playing. Friends and I purposely stood fairly far back so as to not get involved in all the moshing and thrashing.
A bunch of teenagers about 10 feet in front of me (but about 60 yards from the stage) started trying to form a mosh circle. I yelled at the top of my lungs "NO. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. IF YOU WANT TO DO THAT SH-T, GO UP TO THE FRONT OF THE STAGE."
All the other people in their 30s around me started clapping and telling them to leave as well.
It was the closest to "get off my lawn" I've ever been
31. When You Stick To Your Guns
I told my son I was going to take away his birthday if he kept forgetting to brush his teeth before bed when he was 6.
He's 9 now and every birthday I put 6 candles on his cake and we celebrate his 6th birthday, and when people ask how old he is I tell them hes 6.
30. This One's Rocky
We were in the Smoky mountains and were walking into a brewery. A friend pointed out the help wanted sign on the door.
I asked if I should put in an Appalachian.
29. Handy
Got all mad at how much desks cost, so loaded the fiance up into the car and drove to the hardware store and steel mill.
The whole way complaining about materials costs and how big furniture was just trying to rip us off. Made my own desks god damn it. That'll show em.
28. VROOM
In Bath and Body Works I stroller raced a dad and his toddler with my nephew, we both were making engine and tire squeal noises, and sideswiping into each other like it was an epic nascar race.
We were asked to wait outside, but both kids were having a blast, and we didn't have to stay in that wretched place, so I consider it a win-win.
I'm 26.
27. Costs How Much?
I spend my days off doing yard work and refuse to pay anyone to do projects that I can figure out how to do myself. That's my dad; I have become him.
26. Very Dad
I've started taking my rubbish out in my jocks and t shirt.
People don't wanna see my undies, they can just not look.
Its hot so I have been just wearing my shorts for months. When the kid is around I keep my underpants on but when she isn't I freeball it. This includes taking out the trash and doing jumprope in the backyard.
25. "Don't Swear, Don't Fall"
While carrying the child, stub my toe to a point where I'm not sure if it's broken or bleeding horribly, because I have to first find a safe place to put him down gently/carefully, before I can collapse to the floor and writhe around, in agony.
24. If It Works...
When my kids talk back to me I ask them if they think they are talking to one of their street friends.
I still don't know what it means and it was said to me all through my childhood.
God you are the worst.
To me it sounds like you're trying to be intimidating like hey I'm the Don not some lowly street thug
I have one that's been going for probably 6-7 years now. Whenever the dog comes back inside during the summer I make some comment about him being a hotdog.
Stay strong brother! Commitment is key!
I'm not even 20 and I do this.
This is Dad behavior? My fiance speaks English as a second language so we've been putting cc on for 6 years now and I lose my mind when I go to the movies or a friends house and there is no cc.
It also ruins the plot often since I can always read the entire scenes dialogue before it happens. I love it.
21. Ah The Floating Money Pit
As a single mother, I bought a small fishing boat for my 14 year old son to use and together, we learned how to fish.
Two greatest days of a boat-owner: The day you buy your boat, and the day you sell your boat.
Most people don't realize that boat is an acronym. It stands for Break Out Another Thousand.
20. Star Using Numbers
Keep calling my daughters by each other's name.... they actually made labels for themselves yesterday to help me out.
My sister used to do this with her kids and I thought it was weird. Now I have 3 boys and do it constantly, often using the two wrong names first.
19. Friend-Scolding
Internet friend sent me a picture of her boobs, I lectured her on the dangers of sending strangers (we had never met IRL) nudes, especially with your face visible in them.
17. Appropriately Tacky
Wearing a chef's hat while cooking on the grill.
I do this. Mine say, "May the Fork be with you."
I think this is what caused my dad's back problems
I think this is what caused my back problems
I've had to ban that game after one started to run and jump on my back.
15. Of Course, This Is Mandatory
Moved into a new apartment with my fiancee recently. We were hanging up pictures, and I did the classic - use the stud finder on myself bit. :)
My husband's been doing this since we met... 6 years ago
The stud finder has about 50/50 accuracy
14. That's Some Skill
Once I caught puke in my hand and did not loose a drop in the middle of a Red Lobster.
13. Who Wearts Short Shorts?
Actually the moment I felt like my brother was full dad mode (even though he had a kid for a year at that point) was during his daughter's one year birthday party.
I hadn't seen him in a while and I notice his shorts have gotten shorter, and for a guy that used to be so on point fashion wise, just overall everything he's wearing is really... unrefined.
I'm just standing there and I notice him discreetly whip out a small camcorder as the birthday candles are being lit, and squats down to get a good angle.
12. Welcome Home, Dad
Took two tries to get off the couch, grabbed a beer, walked back to the couch and sat down. Scratched my balls. Then neglected my family for 20 years.
Good news is that by the time you get back with your smokes, I'll be able to buy you the next pack!
11. The Last Vestiges Of Smart TV
Might be more of a grandad thing, but I watch Jeopardy every night at 7:30.
I complained at work because they would be working me later from now on. They thought I was complaining because I'd just be working late but I was really just upset that I'd have to miss Jeopardy from now on.
10. Work That Body
In Bath and Body Works I stroller raced a dad and his toddler with my nephew, we both were making engine and tire squeal noises, and sideswiping into each other like it was an epic nNscar race.
We were asked to wait outside, but both kids were having a blast, and we didn't have to stay in that wretched place, so I consider it a win-win.
I'm 26.
9. Such Sacrifice
Just happened last night. Was taking a dump when my wife yelled that our toddler was blowing out of his diaper (for those of you who don't know that term, it means poop was leaking out of his diaper).
I stopped myself mid-shit, shoved a piece of toilet paper over my b-hole to prevent skid marks, and gave my kid a bath, got him in a clean diaper and pajamas, and helped read him a bedtime story before returning to the bathroom to complete my personal previously interrupted foray into defecation.
In my house, bathroom time is a timeout from parenthood. The wife and I have taken progressively longer bathroom breaks over the last few years.
8. Sandy Fun In The Sun
Taking your child to the beach for the first time is the most 'dad' thing a man can possibly do. It requires 60-90 minutes of preparation including assembling supplies and loading the vehicle. (Bonus points if you get up early and drop the car off to get a "good space").
Once you have coordinated the nap schedule and found the window of opportunity you traverse to the beach. Looking at 10-15 minutes of unloading with multiple trips possible.
All of the items brought are intended to stimulate the child and allow the family to get cute pictures. Once the kid gets cranky then its time to repack the stuff and load up the car so the kid can take a nap inside while you have wasted an entire beach day for roughly 25 minutes of sun.
That is when you know a man has crossed the Rubicon and become a dad.
7. Oops
Once put my foot in the way to try and stop my two year old daughter running into our dining room table. Ended up kicking her square on the nose.
6. Just Skip The Babysitting
Went to Capriottis for lunch. Girl behind the counter is cute as hell...she is super flirty. I go back about a week later, half because she's cute and seems into me.
I order my sandwich and as she's taking my order she caresses my hand and says that I have really nice hands. I'm definitely flattered but also a little taken back because damn! This never happens to me!
While I'm waiting for my order, she writes her number down on a receipt and hands it to me with my sandwich. I waited a couple days and then texted her.
We chatted a bit and then it comes out that she's 17-years-old. I basically scolded her and told her she don't need to be handing men her number like that at 17-years-old.
5. Bro Dad
Went to a little get together party at a friends house with a few people I knew. I was the first one there so I had to cut some wood and get the fire started all while drinking a cold one.
After that pointed out the motorcycle sitting behind us to my buddy and asked why he hasn't been riding it. He claimed it wasn't running so I took a look at it for sh*ts and giggles.
Smelled gas when he turned it over so I checked the fuel lines and saw one was diconnected. Reconnected tried again but still didn't start but almost. Pushed it down the hill and bump started it and rode it down the street.
I cut the wood, made the fire, drank the beer and fixed the motorcycle. I was dad.
4. Lounging Like A Man
There's a pic of me reclined on a couch balancing a beer on my gut and gazing into the distance and I've never felt more like a dad than I do when I see that pic. I'm a lady.
3. Male Head Of Household
A buddy of mine was going through some rough times and living on my couch while getting back on his feet. After a few weeks of seeing him play videogames in his underwear I got pissed.
I knew I had to talk with him, but I didn't feel like it was my place or even had the courage to tell him half of the things I wanted to.
SO I figured it would be easier if I was drunk. So I got a six pack of beer. After chugging one I walked into the house, slammed the beer on the coffee table, and calmly said "Turn off the game. We need to talk."
And if that's not dad enough for you here's a list of bullet points we covered in our talk:
- Personal responsibility
- work ethic
- consequences
- "I'm telling you this not to get on you, but because I love you and want to see you succeed."
- resume writing
- I think we talked about credit scores for some reason
- preparing for the future
He didn't turn that PS4 on until he got a job a week later; found a second job the next month, and moved into his own 1B1B not too long after. This was a couple years ago and I've moved since. I hope he's doing okay.
Someone get this man a fanny pack.
With cargo shorts?
I was dressed as a dad so that was mandatory.
1. Definitive Dadness
Sold 2 semi-desirable old European cars for a Honda Odyssey and didn't completely hate it.
H/T: Reddit
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
- NmlsFool
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
- Last-Celery7146
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
- emilersen
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
- SpoonAtKnifeFight
Relationship Styles
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
- Altrano
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
- Active-Plate7939
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
- letmetellyousom
Childfree Living
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
- Free-Government5162
Family Ties
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
- Cobra-Serpentress
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
- letmetellyousom
Quality Time
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
- dallasmysterylover
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
- Brilliant-Victory128
Projecting Insecurities
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
- Affectionate_Egg1252
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
- rintan13
Poor Communication
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
- aj_oof0323
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
- empathetic111
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
Deserving Better
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
- cracksintheegg
Big Moves
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
- dont_be_trash
Alzheimer's Disease
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
- No_Transportation258
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
- Mountaingoat1001
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.