Some relationships are doomed from the start.

But this might not always be obvious to the couple in question.

Sometimes, a relationship could last for months, even years, before one defining moment makes it clear that there will not be a future.

These moments might be things people can laugh about a few years later, or things they make every effort to rid from their memories.

Redditor donutnolikey was curious to hear the moment other members of the Reddit community knew that their relationship was dead in the water, leading them to ask:

"What was your “OH HELL NAH” moment in a relationship that made you leave?"


People are not always who they appear to be.

"I dated a guy who’s ex left him randomly one morning, kissed her goodbye for work and came back and her sh*t was gone."

"Changed her number, and moved back home."

"He never talked to her again, I thought it was super sad and messed up for what she did."

"He use to wake up in the morning crying over her, I pathetically just comforted him."

"But one day I woke up to him emailing his ex girlfriends mother saying he was going to come down to Seattle and kill them all!"

"It wasn’t much later I found out he was served a restraining order from the family."

"Now I see why she left without saying goodbye."- Tay14073.

"We were making out at his house and he kept pressuring me to have sex."

"I was still a young, naive virgin so I refused."

"We started watching a movie instead."

"I went to the bathroom and he stole my car keys."

"Once I was back on the couch he started trying to take off my clothes."

"I was scared so I grabbed my purse to leave."

"That's when he jingles my keys."

"He said I could have them back once I slept with him. I just ran outside and called my dad."

"My dad showed up and threatened to beat his a** if my keys weren't returned."

"Got my keys and got the f*ck out."

"He continued to stalk me for the next 7 years."- UnicornQueefsGlitter.

happy in love GIF by LifetimeGiphy

Couldn't wait to get married.... to someone else.

"She stole my car, drove it from Washington to Las Vegas, and married a guy she met on Xbox Live so he could get residence."- Reverend179.

Came back an entirely different person.

"She went on vacation to have a spiritual awakening by doing drugs in the jungle and came home accusing me of being a demon."- Modifiedpoutine.

"There was a lot of crap but this was the final straw."

"I locked the door before going to bed one night when he was out late with friends."

"He had lost his house key and never bothered to mention it, which was somehow my fault."

"He woke me up by banging on the window and when I let him in began screaming and throwing things at me."

"Telling me to pack up my sh*t and leave and locked me out of our bedroom."

"I slept on the couch."

"Next morning he acted completely normal, like nothing had happened."

"I was gone that day because I no longer felt safe."- swiftsafflina.

More than they could handle

"I woke up at 3am to my partner of 11 years muttering at me when he thought I was asleep."

"His tone was so dark and disturbing I felt that if I hadn't woken up to hear him I may not have woken up at all."

"He wasn't loud so maybe it was the way he was speaking that made me wake up like I did but my brain was immediately on high alert."

"I snapped awake and alert in an instant and just knew that I should just stay still and quiet and not let him know I was awake."

"What came out of him where all sorts of wild accusatory delusions spat at me with so much venom that 6 years later I still clearly remember the feeling of dread that washed over me."

"My whole body was weighed down with it."

"Our relationship wasn't a great one by any means but it was the first time I genuinely felt afraid of what he would do."

"I was afraid to speak up but also afraid that if I stayed quiet and let him keep on his rambling that it could progress into something worse and if it came to it I could never have fought him off."

"That's when it really clicked to me how seriously he needed professional intervention and that I was not only unable to help him but also that I needed to get out from under the same roof as him as soon as possible."

"Paranoid schizophrenia is a b*tch and the available mental health care in our area is a joke."- Wonkeynut.

Delayed validation.

"She crawled through my doggie door at 1:30 am, went through my phone, and then asked me why I was talking to another woman."

"Oh, I forgot to mention that I broke up with her a month earlier."

"We were not in a relationship when she pulled that stunt."- OLPopsAdelphia.

On My Way Cat GIFGiphy

Over sharing?

"My ex would tell me about all the dreams he was having about killing me in vivid detail."- slightjudgment_.

Gaslighting, much?

"My ex would lie about sh*t and make me question my own reality."

"F*ck you bruh."- Suwaveh.

sally kohn gaslight GIF by The Opposite of HateGiphy

Lack of sympathy.

"Ex wife started an argument with me one morning when I was headed to the funeral of a childhood friend."

"I asked if she could not do this right now."

"Her response was “ohhhh, poor you.”

"That was the beginning of the end."- Slydermv.

To assume makes an a** out of you and me...

"Was with my ex for six years."

"We had a shared apartment and when I came home from work one evening he was standing in front of the door with packed suitcases."

"I asked what was going on and he said he could no longer be in a relationship with me because he wanted children at some point and he could not imagine a life without."

"I replied completely perplexed that I also want to have children someday and that he knew that."

"Surprise: he assumed in all seriousness that I could not breastfeed children with my A cup breasts and that our child would starve miserably because too little milk fits into my tatas."

"He didn't break up with me that night, I did."- Dangerous_Slice6032

At some point, you just have to cut the chord.

"My boyfriend at the time has given me forewarning that his mother will move in with us after marriage."

"He’s a mummy’s boy."

"I acknowledge this is not a dealbreaker for other people but I accepted this is mine and responsibly walked away."- Tiarakitty

Listen Mothers Day GIF by Cartoon HangoverGiphy

A sad and dangerous secret.

"I lived in a pub at the time with my then wife."

"I ran it while she had another job."

"She'd come home from a bad day and scream at me in front of the customers."

"She used to go to house parties and stay out all night."

"I later found out shed stolen stock and was on coke."

"Then the final straw was when she punched me in the face 'in her sleep' giving me a black eye."

"The next night i wake up to her making weird angry sounds."

"Thinking she was having a nightmare i tried to comfort her."

"All I hear in the silence and darkness was 'you make my skin crawl'."

"'Touch me again and I'll give you another black eye'."

"She left the next day before I woke up, having cleared out the safe of all the cash."

"I couldn't pay the staff, or the brewery fees."

"The business folded a month or so afterwards and I ended up tending bar elsewhere."

"I never cheated, didn't lie to her, never ever raised a fist to her let alone hurt her."

"I was sure i had done something to cause it.. was I a bad husband?"

"Turned out she had raging bi polar disorder and some other issues she had kept a secret from me our entire relationship and was off her meds for years.'

"Genuine fear."- Haunted_Entity

Sometimes it takes another pair of eyes to see clearly

"Basically his cousin told me my ex used to physically intimidate his ex gf of 5 years."

"This was after he lied about his ex ever existing, and lied about being with her for 5 years, and lied about how they were not friends."

"What broke the camels back was when one morning while I was working from home he asked to go get coffee together."

"I drove us, because he never wanted to drive."

"As we were driving he kept asking me leading questions if I was happy and I told him: 'I am having a stressful morning, could we get back to this important conversation later in the day, when I can be emotionally prepared?'”.

"He began yelling, screaming and punching the center console of my car."

"He then opened the car door to attempt to jump out of the moving vehicle."

"I stopped the car and caught my breath."

"I drove us back home and began packing my things."

"I stayed the night at his cousins house and he revealed to me that this wasn’t the first time."

"I’ve never cried harder in my life because so much made sense."

"My ex practically spoke non stop about his ex and I was 19, he was 24."

"U didn’t have a concept of boundaries, manipulation, healthy relationships, etc."

"Once his cousin revealed that: everything clicked."

"Why he felt guilty about his ex, why he was paranoid about people hurting him, why he was unable to have stable moods."

"I left as quickly as I could and never looked back."- OhmeOhmy7202

How insensitive can you get?

"My (now ex) wife, I'll call her Beth, had an ex boyfriend reach out to her on social media."

"I found out later turned into phone calls."

"All of which she tried hiding from me.:

"Which is bad enough."

"My mom had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer (and I was the lucky one who got to tell her!) and decided she wanted to die in her home state."

"Couple weeks later, Beth tells me she thinks i should fly up to visit my mom for a long weekend, and told me she booked a ticket for me."

"The night before the flight, she says we need to talk."

"She tells me she has been talking to her ex, and she's going to fly out to visit him 'to find out if she has feelings for him', she'd be staying at his house while she's there, and she 'can't say it won't be in the same bed'."

"Yes, while I was still trying to process my emotions and feelings about my mom dying, and while I would be visiting my mom, my ex was going to go visit her ex boyfriend, and stay at his house during the visit."- Wick_E_Scratch

There are those who look for a sign, as to whether or not they should stay in their relationship.

And when their sign is as bizarre and unsettling as several of the above stories, it might make them all the more grateful to have gotten out when they did.

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