We've all heard the phrase "fun fact" about a zillion times ... but this article isn't devoted to those meme-worthy shareable little factoids. Oh no, this one is devoted to things a bit darker.
We're going to talk about the not-so-fun facts.
Reddit user Chilloutjack asked:
What is a fun fact that is mildly disturbing?
Reddit did NOT disappoint. Quite a few of these are outright heartbreaking, cringeworthy, and in some cases kind of gross. Proceed with caution. There is talk of death, fetal death, animal rape, etc. ahead.
We're going to talk about the not-so-fun facts.
Reddit user Chilloutjack asked:
What is a fun fact that is mildly disturbing?
Reddit did NOT disappoint. Quite a few of these are outright heartbreaking, cringeworthy, and in some cases kind of gross. Proceed with caution.
Ruining Nemo
Want to ruin Finding Nemo?
Clownfish live in groups that are all male except for the biggest and most aggressive fish who is the Dominant Female. The next biggest fish is the Dominant Male, and these two are the only ones who breed. When the dominant female dies, the dominant male changes gender to become the dominant female. All the other males then fight to become the dominant male, and the cycle continues.
If you keep a Clownfish male on his own for long enough, he will become female.
- Sygga
Some Serious Stones
The world record for most kidney stones passed is 6,504 by Don Winfield, the most being removed is 172,155.
The largest kidney stone ever removed. was 20cm long and weighed 4.4 pounds, another being 13 cm.
- PNote09
The Eagles Addiction
He song hotel California by the Eagles is actually about drug addiction. For example, the "pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends." Are actually the side affects. And think about the lyric "You can checkout any time you like. But you can never leave."
When I learned it, I was shocked.
Blondes Don't Always Have More Fun
If you have blond hair you are 70 percent more likely to get cancer.
Eating You Back
Giphy
Pineapples have an enzyme that dissolves meat, meaning that when you eat one, it's technically eating you back.
So Easy Not To Get Caught
There are an estimated 35-50 active serial killers in the US. Famous serial killer Edmund Kemper (I think?) said he thinks that number is way higher because it was so easy not to get caught (he turned himself in).
SUPER Superbad
Christopher 'McLovin' Mintz-Plasse's mom had to be on set during the filming of his sex scene in Superbad because he was only 17 at the time it was being filmed.
Dangerous Dolphins
Giphy
Dolphins can and will pick stuff up and move it around using their penises.
They also rape people, and are known to push people out to sea about as much as they push them ashore. They also get high off sea urchins and puffer fish. They pass it around like a bong.
Speeches
If Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin got stuck on the moon the official policy was to cut communication and let them suffocate in silence, Nixon even had a speech and procedure prepared in case this happened.
There were also speeches prepared in case 'the spacecraft goes missing, 'the astronauts abscond with the spacecraft', 'the spacecraft returns with extra astronauts', 'the spacecraft crashed into the USS Hornet, crushing Nixon', or 'the spacecraft is accidentally sold for scrap with the astronauts inside'
Tasty Monkeys
Chimpanzees just flat out love to eat monkeys.
They love it so much they've feasted on certain breeds to local extinction.
Always found this mildly (moderately) disturbing because of the similarities in the species, like if wolves sought after puppies.
Postmortem Birth
If you die while late into a pregnancy the build up of bodily gases as you decompose can push the dead foetus out of your body. Its called postmortem fetal extrusion.
Puppy PTSD
The rescue dogs from ground zero on 9/11 developed PTSD and needed therapy afterwards because there were so few survivors and so many dead recovered that the dogs thought they'd screwed everything up and done a bad job.
- jeg26
Thanks, Snot!
If it weren't for a layer of snot lining the inner walls of your stomach, the acid would burn through you and your insides would fall onto the floor.
Smoked BBQ
Giphy
Burnt humans smell like smoked Texas barbecue
Before anybody calls me a serial killer, I worked in a trauma ER and the bad burn victims smelled exactly like this.
Rabies
If you contract rabies it can lay dormant in your body for years until one day you get a headache, and by then its already too late and you will slowly go insane and grow an erratic fear of water and Inability to swallow - then you die.
- swagxake
Melted
They couldn't give the firefighters from Chernobyl morphine, because their veins were literally melting.
The Universe
The entire Universe outside our galaxy could have completely disappeared over 20,000 years ago and we still wouldn't know it yet. Our view of the Universe is actually what it looked like anywhere from thousands to Billions of years ago -with no way to see what it actually looks like "right now". Imagine if you looked out your front window and saw your yard as it was 6 months ago, neighbors house across the street a year ago, and houses a block or two away as they were several years ago. Also off in the distance you see the glaciers from the last ice age. That's what it's like looking out at the Universe.
- UEizo
Nutmeg
Nutmeg was used as a hallucinogenic before modern drugs. It can also kill you if more than a tablespoon is eaten at once.
I basically spent my late teens researching and experimenting with everything I could get my hands on.
Naturally I tried nutmeg. Ingested about half a spice shaker in one sitting. Never experienced a hell like that. It felt like the entire world lost meaning, that I was pointlessly walking around in this grey plastic world and every minute dragged on for eternity. Couldn't function, couldn't focus on anything or do much of anything but lay on the floor and beg for it to be over. Faked being sick to not go to school. It lasted like 3 days and I felt like there were still noticeable effects weeks later. Still afraid I did some kind of permanent damage.
Do not recommend.
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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