They work for the Devil himself. We know that now. They call at all hours of the day and night, muptiple times a day. They are basically Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" but in rotary form. I am speaking of sam callers and telestalkers. They must be dealt with.
Redditor u/Account__Compromised1 wanted hear some of the most creative ways be eradicate a phone pest by asking.... What's the best way to mess with a scam caller?
Need Help?
Giphy"Detroit police department, what's your emergency?" That-One-Person2
Stay there we are calling the SWAT! Aka_Sora
Can you start over?
A couple years ago there was a scam where people would call you 3 times a day saying that you had an issue with your computer. I wasted the guy's time because he was walking me through the steps for Windows and I had a mac. So everytime I'd ask for the location of things, say I couldn't find the start menu or no I don't see an icon for internet explorer hahaha he ended up yelling at me and hanging up. They didn't call again. ktobes_
Buy Back.
Try to sell them something or do the grandma "I'm so glad you called sweetie."Leagonum
You callin' about the generator? Like the ad says, she runs fine but she's got this weird kn... no? OH! You must be calling about the above ground pool! much_longer_username
Travel.
Go to India and meet themGeraldFord210
That was a wild ride. I was seriously concerned for their well-being towards the end. Gazboolean
Let's Play....
GiphyDo a toddler like voice and ask very immature questions....
"Do you want to play dinosaur?" "Do you like Spiderman?" "What's your favorite candy?" Etusko
BOOP!
I have a fool proof way to mess with scam callers....
I just don't answer the phone unless you are in my contact list. Reddit
In a world where you own a business and it's tied to your mobile phone.... you learn to listen for the "boop" sound when an agent connects. Account__Compromised
Me Time.
What's so important that I have to suddenly stop masturbating? BigMilk0
I answer all my calls like that. Account__Compromised
Yeehaw....
I talk really slow and with a strong hillbilly accent - and ask them the repeat themselves every other sentence..
Seems to work as I often get called a "sister messer" - "Whaaah? I din't get 'yall dat." wastingtoomuchthyme
Sexytime....
Flirt with them. Go maximum Thot on them. TheLastWearWoof
I tried flirting with a spam caller. He kept shutting me down and I kept asking him flirty questions. Eventually I asked him what does he do for a living? (telemarker of course)
He answered that he's a gangsta. So I dropped the flirty act and we legit for 20 minutes had an intellectual conversation about gangsters. Like gangster culture, Al Capone, El Chapo, how to survive on the streets, street respect, etc. It was hilarious and we connected on some level. squirrel_eatin_pizza
AHHHHH!!!!!
GiphyHonestly, I just screech, make weird moaning noises, and hum the Jurassic Park theme song in the worst way possible until they hang up. Reddit
I just keep the convo going. I've been on a call before for more than half an hour just going back and forth "but what do you REALLY do?" - "Mhm, so what is it you're REALLY trying to sell me?"xxPhoenixPrincessxx
Have a BK Day!
Breath loudly into the phone and say inappropriate things. sfr0sweetie
Huuuhhh, huuuhhh, there's no calories in a Burger King rodeo burger, huuuhhh, huuuhhh. ItookAnumber4
Let's Chat....
I just keep the convo going. I've been on a call before for more than half an hour just going back and forth "but what do you REALLY do?" - "Mhm, so what is it you're REALLY trying to sell me?"xxPhoenixPrincessxx
Out of Nowhere....
GiphyJust gave absolutely ridiculous answers to this girl trying to scam my car insurance. She actually said, "What is wrong with you?" at one point. to_the_tenth_power
I need to know those answers now hahah. whippedcreamcheese
The Lizards....
Whenever I get scam phone calls or phone calls from people selling me stuff, I act crazy, and say things like: The lizards are coming. Beware of the lizards. They are here. They will invade our planet in a monotonic, low voice. Lestayela
Pump Up the Volume...
I turn my computer speakers on full blast and shatter their eardrums with Godzilla roars, fart noises, screaming, obnoxious music and animal noises. invisiblebody
One was unfortunate enough to call while I was playing guitar. I put the phone next to a speaker and cranked it to 11. Oddly enough, there was only a dial tone when i picked the phone back up. greeblefritz
Hey there Lenny....
See also: /r/itslenny.
Edit for clarity: Basically it's a recording designed to sound like a senile and easily scammed elderly man. The script constantly teases that he's going to pay soon, even admitting that he's "gotten in trouble" with his caretakers for letting himself get scammed recently. But he always gets interrupted with either connection/audio problems or long tangental stories that never go anywhere.
After about ten minutes, it loops... You'd be surprised at how many people don't notice and keep trying to talk to him. Sometimes even through multiple full loops. PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING
Dr. Evil....
GiphyI have always enjoyed walking outside and talking softer and softer. This causes them to turn the volume on their headset up. I put on my hearing protection headphones and then they get the air horn. Routine_Condition
This is pure genius/evil. youlose999
I feel the vapors....
I once had a call from a man in India telling me I had a virus on my PC. I had a Mac, but that's beside the point
Once he said virus I started to become concerned. Actually, I became panicked. It went something like this....
"OH MY GOD, A VIRUS!!!! OH MY GOD, A VIRUS!!!! OH MY GOD, A VIRUS!!!! OH MY GOD, A VIRUS!!!! AM I going to catch it? Is is Ebola? Is it Smallpox? Is it HIV? Am I'm going to DIE? Oh no, I feel a panic attack coming on"
Then I started hyperventilating really loud into the mouthpiece. I hyperventilated so heavily that I began choking and gagging on my saliva. Real loud too.
The man from India called me a moron and hung up. wild0ats
My favorite was my step dads from like 20 years ago. You really cant plan it he was just being a fool and got lucky enough for the same guy to call twice
Phone rings and he answers. All I hear is him "Hey sorry man I'm not the homeowner I'm just here sleeping with that guy's wife" and hangs up.
Half hour later the same guy calls back and my step dad goes "Listen, I'm really sorry but I don't have the time right now. I just got home and found some guy with my wife." I have never seen him laugh so hard when he hung up and all he could mutter out to me was "It was the same guy!!!" He says the guy got super panicked and kept apologizing. I tell that story at least annually and can't wait to do it myself some day. Olorin919
Dearly Departed....
GiphyI have a friend who answers unknown numbers like:
Friend: "Brixton mortuary, hello?"
Caller: "Could I speak to Anne Goodman please?"
Friend: "Is that the name of the deceased?"
Always gets the funniest, most awkward reactions. purplescallywag
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.