Passing on wisdom generation to generation is a life milestone. There are only things that can be taught to you by a parent. Life's meaning is learning as much as we can to impart wisdom onto others that follow, especially if they're our children. A parent/child bond is so special yet so fragile. So treat it with care.
Redditor u/Ajnat75 wanted to hear the advice that boys need to hear most from their dads by asking..... What's the best lesson a father should pass on to his son?
Look Close
seth meyers dabbing GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphyTaking responsibility for your actions. It is unbelievable how bad people blame others for their problems and do not look themselves in the mirror to see what they could do better.
Letters from Jail....
My biological dad left me when I was born. He was a felon on the run. One thing he said to me in a letter from jail was. "I was a coward and didn't want to own up to my responsibilities. Look at where I am at now, I will never meet my son again. Don't take advantage of anyone that loves you and wants the best for you, in the end always learn to love one another, take responsibility for your actions, and never abounded your family."
Update :I want to thank everyone for the great comments and awards. I am 24 years old (male). I've accomplished great things and will always thank my dad for given me that drive... I love my step-dad now and he also is an amazing role model. When I have children, I will be the best dad ever. Again thank you for the nice comments, I rarely ever talk about this.
Prepare....
My dad has taught me a few. The two that first come to mind are:
Prepare for the worst but hope for the best
And....
The lessons best learned are the ones that hurt the most.
kindness....
Episode 9 Hug GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyThe best lesson for me is compassion. My dad would pull over to push broken down cars out of the road.
He would take the homeless guy by the White Castle sliders. He would shovel our neighbors sidewalk. I could go on. He taught me that the burden is lighter if we carry it together.
get a pen
The TWO things that I think are core to teach your kids are empathy and personal responsibility.
This can be reflected in a variety of ways
- it's only a game if both people want to play
- big people watch out for little people
- treat other people the way you would like to be treated
- work before play cromulent_weasel
the basics...
Know how to cook and clean.
Being a useless bachelor is less charming than you think. After you've found someone, it's the easiest tool you can use to impress them.
Having dinner ready for your partner in a clean kitchen after they've had a long day goes a lonnnng way, and it's really not that much effort.
My dad told me this before I left for college (with a few more sexist points I've omitted) but the message was the same. Don't be a slob, and know how to make a few killer meals.
Daughters....
Treat women like people, not commodities (Cannot believe this wasn't already posted).
As the father of two daughters and a son, this can't be stressed enough. This machismo "don't mess with my daughter" thing? Yes, tone it down a little and teach your daughters about consent and bodily autonomy, but so many dads like this fail to teach this same lesson to their sons.
Teach your sons to treat women how you'd want other people's sons to treat your daughters.
Honestly, take gender out of it and just teach it as a general rule - a rule made out of gold, like some sort of... golden... rule.
From the Web
I see a lot of answers posted here, most of them copied from some "father advice" website. Here's what I am tryin' to teach my kids:
- Respect people and try to understand that sometimes bad people are bad because they had less luck in life.
- Have enough confidence to try and succeeded doing things by yourself.
- Even if you do things by yourself, your family and your friends WILL help you. and69
Feelings....
I Love You Hearts GIF by Chippy the DogGiphyIt's ok to show affection, and say "I love you." Greatest gift my father ever gave me.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Redditor ThurnisHailey wanted to discuss the careers that leave little to help the world, so they asked:
"What high-paying jobs contribute very little to society/humanity?"
Anti-Robinhood
Real Estate Realtor GIF by South ParkGiphy"My sister makes a lot of money in real estate. She helps rich people get even richer."
Ieatalot2004
"To be fair, most jobs are helping rich people get richer."
nBrainwashed
Useless
"As a marketing manager, I can tell you I have one of the most useless jobs in the world."
erose994
"What do you actually do as a marketing manager? I'm just curious."
bertolintus
"Mostly wrangle the opinions of 8,000 people who all think a project should be executed differently and all feel like it needs to be done yesterday. And pass that project through a complicated and overly bureaucratic system of approvals until it inevitably stalls out in a VP's inbox, and you have to send them 3 reminder emails just to get it done."
"Other than that... Talking to agencies (at least where I work, we outsource our graphic design, social media, and advertising work to third parties), building annual strategies, planning social media and email content, and occasionally getting to do something fun like writing a blog post."
"Oh, and managing budgets. But it's budgeting season right now so that's a touchy subject."
erose994
Data Collection
"Some of the best-paid people are figuring out how to collect as much data about you as possible to show you the best adverts. Or how to shave off milliseconds off a trading decision and build better arbitrage strategies to buy and sell the same thing millions of times."
Weak_Commercial_7124
The Middle
"IT middle management. I always thought they did nothing, then I was promoted to one and now I can actually confirm it."
"Do nothing, contribute nothing. Worthless."
RedditWhileImWorking
"I honestly think middle management is all about what you make it. If you're motivated and WANT to make things happen for the better, I think you generally can, but it's also very easy as a middle manager to just maintain the status quo and literally do nothing but collect a paycheck."
TinaBelchersBF
Complicated
people love GIFGiphy"Hospital administration. Obviously, hospitals are important and are complicated systems that need proper management, but any doctor, nurse, etc. can tell you that hospital admins aren't exactly looking out for your health and safety."
dancingbanana123
It's sad to learn hospitals are a scam. Tragic.
Office Time
Staring Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Administrators who spend a lot of time inside an office in calls or meetings but have very little to do with the hands-on work that actually advances stuff."
Ukhupa
Dirt
"I'm using a burner account. I'm a political strategy advisor which is code for opposition researcher. I work for a federal government party in my country. I research for gossip or dirt on our political opponents and feed stories to the media to disparage them and have us win elections. I feel all I do is make people more disenchanted with politics."
Clean-Elephant9363
Moochers
"During the pandemic, didn't you notice that the 'essential workers' were often paid minimum wage? Seems like the important jobs that actually keep everything running are not being paid much at all, most of the time. All the value of their labor is being sucked out of them by the wealthy moochers who just happen to own the company but never do any work."
Pipboypipboycheerio
Liars
dominic cooper preacher GIF by Amazon Prime Video UKGiphy"Megachurch preachers are evil AF."
MpVpRb
"The fleecing of gullible sheep is a story as old as humanity."
wittie2
Well, people certainly had some feeling about these career paths. What do you think? Do you have anything to add?
"How do you know when someone is really in an open relationship, and not a cheater pretending to be in one?"
When In Doubt, Don't...
"If you're feeling off about it, don't do it."- Massive-Ad7628
Bad Feeling I Anticipate Problems GIF by America's Got TalentGiphyConfirmation Needed From Both
"When the partner openly knows and acknowledges it."- EngineeringVirgin
"I was seeing a man who was married."
"He assured me that their relationship was open, that he had full permission to do whatever, and that if it would make me comfortable he would give me his wife’s number and she and I could chat."
"We saw each other for about four years."
"I went to pick him up at his house a couple times and his wife would say 'have a nice date!'."
"That’s the way to do it."
"Everything on the table."
"If there’s some sneakiness, something that makes you feel it’s not quite right, you need to listen to that feeling."- theyarnllama
"Ask to meet their partner."
"If they’re really open, it shouldn’t be a problem."- bloomautomatic
Threes Company Reaction GIF by moodmanGiphyAn Oldie But A Goodie...
"Ask them to pinky swear."- Still_kinda_hungry
Give Your Intentions A Second Thought As Well
"Agh."
"Ok so I’m in an open relationship with my partner and he hooked up with this girl, and we called her to go get a drink with us and she was like 'I knew he had a girlfriend, but I didn’t know you knew'.”
"After that I def didn’t want to hang out with her because she thought she was facilitating him cheating on me."
"Not cool."
"Intentions matter."- Physical_Witness_922
Ask And Answer
"In my experience, ask literally anything about what type of poly or open they are."
"Also anyone who isn't willing to get/show a recent std test isn't worth the risk."- Midori8751
just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyInstructional Videos
"My SO and I just make videos explaining the situation and ground rules."
"That way, our potential partner know what they are dealing with."- TagtheCat
Doesn't Hurt To Check...
"I slept with a woman who was in an open marriage."
"Her husband called to check on her and ask if she was ok."
"She said she was fine and that was the extent of the call. I think that’s a pretty good indicator."- Fit-Concern-81
It's All About The Reaction
"When they introduce you to their SO as their lover and the SO is fine with it."
"Open relationships rarely sneak around on each other."- welltriedsoul·
“'So like…. You know your husbands screwing Ashley right….??'”
“'Yeah I know'.”- AkKik-Maujaq
It Must Be A Mutual Decision
"In my experience, one of my ex's said we were in an open relationship, however I didn't know that."
"So yeah, that's a cheater."
"I briefly dated someone that was in an open relationship (the couple were long distance)."
"I spoke on the phone with the girlfriend before any sex happened so we could all be on the same page regarding boundaries and intentions, what protection will be used, testing, etc."
"It really wasn't awkward, and I appreciated knowing that everyone was aligned."- korova_chew
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyIf They Say No, That's A Problem
"Ask them if you can talk to their partner."- vivi2626
Don't Ask, Don't Tell... Don't Date!
"I've been poly for closing in on 2 decades."
"I used to run a large poly meetup in a huge metro area."
"I've seen it all, personally talked to several thousand+ poly folks over the years, etc."
"I REFUSE to engage with anyone in a DADT policy at all at this point."
"HARD F*CKING PASS, the vast majority of the time its cheating."
"And when its not I swear 95% of the time is because the couple with the DADT policy hasn't done any work around opening up their relationship and there are a LOT of problems involved."
"And I want nothing to do with that huge nightmare of a cluster f*ck anymore."
"Here's my perspective and where it comes from."
"The amount of cheating I've seen is beyond staggering."
"A huge percentage of the women I know have run into TONS of men that are cheating and try to use poly, dadt, etc as a guise to do it."
"I have zero reason to put that much trust in someone I just met. It's the same reason I ask for proof of STI testing."
"I can't understand people with the attitude of 'if you can't trust them why are you with them' the whole point is you don't know them that well why would you trust them?"
"This is one step in establishing some trust."
"The ethical part of ENM is a big big deal to me, and I refuse to be complicit in cheating and be put in an unethical situation."
"If cheating was rare it would be a different situation, but f**k it's common."
"I've verified 100% of my partners are in ethical situations, and none of them had a problem with it."
"I've had a number of their partners thank me for actually checking."
"I'll accept a few options for verification, a phone call, voice chat, a brief text exchange while my date is present, a prerecorded voice / video message, or showing me snippets of a conversation where being poly is discussed / confirmed and there is a long-standing chat history with said person."
"Most of the time I had already met or seen their partner, so I already knew it was ethical."- f*cklifehard
Schitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphyMany couples have said that their communication and commitment has greatly improved after opening their relationships.
When one half of a couple seeing other people causes pain and unhappiness, however, it seems clear that that relationship is not open in a healthy way.
Particularly if only one person is truly benefitting from it.