When something tickles our funny bone, it's natural to let it out with laughter. Hardy, boisterous laughter that would make Santa Claus blush and The Joker rethink his lifestyle choices. That begs the question, though: What could have possibly made someone laugh the hardest they ever had in their life? Surprisingly, answers may vary.
Reddit user, u/GarlicsPepper, wanted to know exactly what caused you to bust a gut when they asked:
What made you laugh the hardest in your entire life?
PIZZA. IS. NOT. A. SALAD.
I nearly lost my mind laughing at my buddy's bachelor party, late at night, sitting at a table after much drinking.
One of his friends, who is a lawyer, shared a theory that he'd heard. All foods can be categorized into four groups: Sandwich, Salad, Soup, or Ravioli. In other words, by this definition, a taco would be a sandwich (carb used to hold ingredients, open edges) whereas a calzone or a pop tart would be classified as a ravioli. This is obviously a ridiculous position, but most of us were used to this guy's nonsense.
However, one of the other guys at the table is from New York and took issue with this. He had never met the lawyer before this weekend. Things started getting heated. The more upset at these categories the guy from New York became, the more the lawyer doubled down and gave increasingly preposterous explanations and logic. "What about spaghetti you f-cker?" "Clearly a salad, it's tossed ingredients with a dressing." Meanwhile the rest of us were starting to lose it at how upset the New Yorker was getting.
It culminated in the guy from New York standing up out of his chair, slamming his hands against the table and passionately screaming "PIZZA IS NOT A F---ING SANDWICH" while the rest of us were crying laughing. Good times.
Something So Funny It's Violent
I have a Ukrainian coworker who was several decades older than me, and is a super serious, pretty strange guy. He has a very stereotypical oldschool Soviet style to him (he always speaks and identifies as Russian). He heard my friend and I telling trivial amusing stories to each other on a break, and joined our little circle with the biggest smile on his face. Looking to join in and relate, he explains that when he was in University he had a car, but his friends destroyed his car by literally blugeoning it to pieces and then beat him viciously as a prank.
You know, as friends do.
Then he could barely get through the next part of the story he was laughing so hard, when he explained that from then on he had to run to and from University. He said he ran so often with his bag that he ended up separating his abdominal muscles and severely injuring himself. By this point my friend and I are dying from laughter too, so our comrade feels great about his smash hit of a story and heads back to his desk.
I still won't go in a room alone with that guy.
My Sister Is Half-Coyote
Standing on the sidewalk next to one of those metal electrical boxes. My little sister is standing between me and the box, facing me. She shouts "TAG YOURE IT!" and spins around to run away at a full sprint.
She slams into the box just like Wile E Coyote running into a wall.
I have never laughed so hard in my life! The people passing by afterward just saw a six year old crying next to an adult laughing her a-- off uncontrollably on the ground. Eventually i composed myself and picked her up and told her she'll be alright. I felt so bad but d-mn if i wasnt suppressing giggles the whole way home.
I Laughed So Hard I "Sit" Myself
My friend is from Japan. One time, she was trying to say "I was sitting on the bed," and instead she said, "I sh-t the bed."
I knew what she had meant to say, but I started laughing uncontrollably, something that was not helped by her yelling, "Nononononononono!" upon realizing she had royally f-cked up that sentence.
Burning Rubber
During the peak of those "what in tarnation?" memes, my college buddies and I road tripped from Michigan to NO for Mardi Gras during our spring break.
About 10 hours in, when we were already feeling really goofy/bored from the long trip, a tire rolled across the highway in front of the car.
My friend, while the tire is still crossing our path, screams "WHAT IN TIIIIRE NAITON!".
And that stupid ass joke is the hardest I've ever laughed.
Tragedy is Best Followed By Comedy
Told the story before, but it still one of my favorites:
Small child, maybe 4 years old is running with 2 two liter bottles of soda (maybe it was root beer). Lots of bouncing already. Then she trips, bottles go flying and she face plants. She lifts her head up to cry.... and just then... at that perfectly timed moment, the cap blows off one of the bottles into her face spraying her with soda and foam. Her mother runs over, still pushing the shopping cart for some reason, and naturally, slips on the other soda and trying to catch herself grabs the side of the shopping cart she and cart tip over. A bag of flour explodes and covers the sticky child.
All of this was done with the precision of a 1940s comedy short, it was really impressive. And sadly, I did not get to film it.
Comedy Comes In Stages
It was in summer this year actually.
There was a middle aged couple walking in front of me with Ice creams. The guy obviously didn't see the step ledge on the floor coming up and tripped over it. As he tripped over his flailing arm shoved the ice cream right onto an oncoming child's forehead. The icecream cone stayed in place for a couple of second before it slid off. The kid looked like a f-cking unicorn.
I was literally crying with laughter and it was so hard to compose myself. You had to be there, but omg the funniest scene of events ever.
Luckily, It Wasn't Milk
In college my roommates and I had a fun ritual for putting away our groceries after shopping. There were so many of them we had to find a fun way to do it!
I posted myself with all the bags in the dining room and the other 4 posted in the kitchen. Then, I'd just start throwing the stuff at them. Pretty quick I might add.
It didn't matter if it was glass, milk jugs, soda, it got thrown. And they always caught it.
Until one day I threw a gallon of orange juice.
They all thought someone else had it and it ended up exploding all over the kitchen. A gallon of anything is a lot when it's suddenly all over the floor!
We all started laughing while trying to clean it up, tears and everything, but then one of my roommates looked at all of us and said "It's a good thing it wasn't milk, otherwise this would've been an udder catastrophe!"
At that, we all broke down laughing, on the ground, in the orange juice. It was just too perfect. Our abs and faces hurt so much from all the laughing.
In conclusion, I miss my roommates.
Burning Rubber
During the peak of those "what in tarnation?" memes, my college buddies and I road tripped from Michigan to NO for Mardi Gras during our spring break.
About 10 hours in, when we were already feeling really goofy/bored from the long trip, a tire rolled across the highway in front of the car.
My friend, while the tire is still crossing our path, screams "WHAT IN TIIIIRE NAITON!".
Man vs. Machine
At a party someone started a riding lawnmower up, turned the steering wheel to the left and put it in high gear so it ran around in circles. It was funny at first but got annoying after a while so we tried to shut it off. The problem is it was moving pretty fast and we were all too drunk to catch it. Every time one of us would try to grab it and hop on, we would miss fall over and get ran over by the lawnmower.
It got so funny watching everyone try that we couldn't stop laughing. We eventually started throwing rocks at it which was even funnier trying to see drunk people try and aim a rock at a moving object.
This went on for a good hour before it ran out of gas.
13/10
Took my younger brother to one of the early X-Men movies years ago.
I asked him what he thought. "I give it a 7 .... out of 11 .... million".
Stupid, but I laughed. Then laughed more, and couldn't stop laughing. I couldn't drive us home for a while I was laughing so hard.
You Know, As Cousins Do...?
Back in the mid-90's when I was a 15-something teenager. My cousins and I had the house to ourselves, so one decides to put a porno in the VCR. I warned him that my dad was coming home soon and that he might want to think twice, but he didn't heed my warning. We kept watching the front door so we'd be ready to eject the tape and not get caught; lo and behold my dad just happened to come through the side door in the garage that day and was suddenly standing there behind us.
Myself and one of my cousins bolted out of the room when we noticed him, the 3rd cousin wasn't so lucky. He noticed us running off and, with my dad right behind him, shouted after us, "Hey, where you guys going?" At that point I lost all feelings in my legs as I fell to the floor in laughter. I could still see my cousin through the hallway, as he was slowly turning around and noticing my dad behind him, at which point he jumped back around, frantically trying to figure out how to turn off the VCR, but to no avail. It was one of those really old VCR's where Stop and Eject weren't on the front of the unit. He finally just dropped to his knees and tried "hugging" the TV to block the picture, crying that he was sorry.
I turned so red from laughter that it felt like I was running a fever, I had difficulty breathing for the rest of the day and my ribs felt like they'd been shattered. My poor cousin though, he not only got caught watching porn in hilarious fashion, but he also got teased for years.
H/T: Reddit
There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?
But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.
After Redditor BensReddits asked the online community, "What is a phrase you absolutely hate hearing?" people shared their stories.
"At any sort of conference..."
At any sort of conference/gathering/presentation:
"How're you all doing today?!? C'mon, I know you can answer louder than that! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY?!"
Instant resentment every time.
I second that resentment.
I attended a conference once where the main speaker did this several times in the span of thirty minutes as he announced different initiatives.
Such a headache.
"At my work..."
At my work upper management has started using the word "activate" a lot. As in, "We are working on plans to activate underutilized spaces." And, "Let's activate a few other teams on this." It just sounds silly to me and like they are trying too hard to avoid using simple, perfectly adequate language.
I'll take your "activate" and give you...
..."utilize." WHY?
What is wrong with the word "use"?
"I was born in Australia..."
"Your English is so good!"
Thank you, I was born in Australia and English is literally my first language. My standard response these days is, "Oh thank you, yours too!"
This one is especially annoying...
...if you're not alabaster white.
I repeat:
Also annoying if you're not alabaster white.
"Someone saying to a teenager..."
Someone saying to a teenager, "These are the best years of your life!" I am in my mid-40s now and most people my age remember high school as horrible and awkward. The more appropriate thing to say is, "Hang in there kid! I promise life gets better. Just get through adolescence the best you can."
High school sucked.
My life vastly improved in my 20s. Let's not convince teenagers that they have nothing to look forward to after high school's over and done with.
"That's nothing..."
"That's nothing... " when I tell them something only for them to turn it onto a competition and say something worse that happened to them.
Ah, yes.
The chronic one-upper.
Loathe them.
"I've heard it from people..."
"When you have your own children you'll understand."
I've heard it from people who don't understand that I want nothing more than my own family but being pregnant will kill me, and when I bring up adoption as a valid way of having children they'll buckle down on that phrase as to say adopted kids are not the same. It's disheartening to hear as a formal foster child and has reinforced my beliefs that no one really saw me as enough. Why would you say that to someone? All kids are the same and those without kids shouldn't be dismissed.
"I lost my daughter..."
"God has a plan" or "It happened for a reason."
I lost my daughter when I was 36 weeks in because of a sudden placental abruption followed by a uterine rupture, lost 2.2 litres of blood. I can't carry again without risking the child or myself. And I had to listen to a variety of phrases that made me want to hit those people. Those two were the worst. Followed by "You can try again" or "Did you get the child baptized?" (got this one only once though).
"Who on earth..."
"When are you going to have kids?"
Who on earth are you to not only insist I should stop and redirect my whole life for kids, but then put me on the spot and make up a timetable to change my whole life? Not everyone wants kids.
Now that you've learned a thing or two...
...you could say that all of the responses here are an exceptional opportunity to improve your social skills.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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| Image by freestocks-photos from Pixabay |
Dating is difficult––and truth be told, I don't know how anyone can do it right now, what with a pandemic going on and all. Just the thought stresses me out. Dating is especially hard for people who defy expectations in a heteronormative society. Take bisexuals, for example.
Bisexuals have been open about their struggles maintaining relationships with both men and women, even having to lie about their sexuality if they want to date certain people.
"I feel like if I end up in a straight relationship, I'll look like I was just experimenting all these years, but if I end up in a gay relationship people will say I was never actually bisexual," one man told the BBC in 2019. "Then if I don't have a monogamous relationship people will say I'm just greedy."
Indeed, the pressure to be either gay or straight can be a lot to navigate. After Redditor Trevor-on-Reddit asked the online community, "Bisexual people who have dated both genders, what are some notable differences you've learned about dating both men and women?" bisexuals spoke candidly about their experiences. Take note: You might learn something new.
People Share Their Funniest 'This Person Clearly Doesn't Know How The World Works' Experiences
We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?
Most of the time, they will just be flustered, or they won't listen. And you have to just stand Idly by and watch them fail.
u/FryingPanZ asked:
What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Here were some of those stories.
The Boot, Not The Camp
When I was in boot camp, some kid put his letter addressed to 'mom' with no address attatched.
I was gonna say that its not that stupid for a very young kid to do that, but then I realized you said boot camp and not summer camp.
Don't Steal Dangerous Chemicals
A student working part time at my laboratory at a University came into my office and asked "so what all can I eat in the refrigerator, I didn't know I was supposed to bring my own lunch". I looked at him, stunned and replied "nothing, that food is what people brought for their own lunch, but you can use my grub hub to order". He DID NOT UNDERSTAND. It took 4 tries to get him to realize he can't just eat someone else's lunch.
Same student: I walked into the lab room and told him I made a full pot of coffee in the office and he could help himself. Him: "a pot of coffee? What's that?" He never used a coffee maker other than a Kuerig before and didn't even know it was a thing.
He was fired a month later for stealing chloroform.
No Ma'am, Like, REAL Bears
At a national park, the park ranger says "stay on the trails, there are bears in the area."
One lady says "isn't that dangerous? Why aren't they in their cages?"
"Ma'am, we're not a zoo."
These people are lucky to make it out of bed every day.
Sleeping On The Job
I lived with some Japanese exchange students during the final summer of college. They were really nice girls, but one of them (Mari) (~19 years old) obviously had no idea how anything worked. She spoke the best English and I was tutoring some of the other girls, while they helped me with my Japanese.
But Mari would constantly call me to come to get her because she thought we had free buses (all the buses). After all, we were students. That wasn't the issue. I could deal with that. It was a whole new culture. She was learning.
But what happened that made me realize Mari could not be left on her own was when she ended up in Eloy, Arizona. Which was ~400 miles and five hours from where we were. She had been talking to some guy on campus, he said he was visiting family in Arizona, and she said "I want to go."
He just took her with him, and she went without even telling us. She had just assumed the guy would take her back, but he said he couldn't because he was staying in Arizona. So I had to arrange a ticket, get her on the bus via the phone, and then pick her up two hours away because she missed her second bus by napping.
How...? What...? Huh...?
Had a friend who was in some uncredited scam online college for her master's degree in medical billing or something. She was on a loan program that was sending her about $5k every 3 months directly to her via check in the mail.
This was her only source of income. She kept calling it a grant that didn't need to be paid back. She was flat broke as a joke for 2 months but then the check would come in and she would be living the good life for a few weeks before being poor again.
We tried to do an intervention and show her the insane interest rate that would be back dated as soon as her "school" was done but she didn't want anyone to bust her free money dreams.
She just kept talking about all the money she would eventually be making billing insurance companies...turns out she wasn't even logging in to the online college or even attempting to get this degree.
She thought the money was free, the degree was automatic and the job was guaranteed. Some people are beyond help.
Such Brilliant. So Money. Wow
My boss told me about a friend of his, who told him af a "life hack". She would get her bills in the mail, NOT pay them, and then wait a couple of months to pay. Then she would cry so the debt collectors would feel bad and waive the fees for not paying on time. That was her "brilliant life hack"
Himbo Rights Activist
The other day, my 18yo brother-in-law got married to his highschool sweetheart in a parking garage so that they can live off campus at college together.
Girlfriend's, now wife, mother is an ordained minister. His parents, my in-laws, were very upset and he couldn't understand why because "it's just a fake marriage for school". Oh no, sweet boy. You are MARRIED. I just laughed and laughed. I love him dearly. He is a dumb*ss.
And yet somehow they are there to add these stories to our dull, dull days.
Daddy's Boy
A dude (18 yo) in boot camp got a letter from home and I can see he is agitated. Being 22 and concerned for his well-being, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. (I'm thinking a Dear John letter or the Mom and Dad divorcing letter.)
He dead *ss told me that his younger brother got a Mercedes for his birthday and that he was pissed bc he "only got a BMW". Can't remember what I said, but I knew boot camp was gonna knock down. (It did.)
Who Pays Your Bills?
When my roommate, who never once paid for rent or groceries or anything, turned down the only job offer they have ever gotten, in front of me, TWICE.
They were so desperate they called him twice, offering good pay, during covid, and he had the gaul to say no in front of me. His excuse was "nah I'm sure there's something better. $20 an hour is garbage in this city" -_-
Just Read ONE Parenting Book
I worked for a clueless couple who had no idea how to raise a kid. He wore the same outfit everyday for a month until I gently suggested that he needs new clothes. His parents asked me "Where can we get baby clothes?" This was slightly hilarious given that they lived above a Target and next to a baby boutique.
I had to have the same conversation once the child was old enough for solid foods. I was asked "Where can we get baby food?" I had to explain that most grocery stores carry a baby aisle, or that she can mash up her own fruits at home for the baby. This family decided that sour cream would be a great first food for their baby!
I'll mention that this was a wealthy family who went on vacation at least 2-3 times a month. By far the weirdest thing they did was try and drop off Grandma at daycare along with the baby.
Stories like this make you feel like the most well-equipped, with it person alive, right?
We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?
Though it seems that, statistically, men are problematic at a WAY higher rate than women, there are certainly times where the person bringing the creepy vibes is, indeed, the woman.
Some men of Reddit gathered to share the most bizarre and uncomfortable things a woman has ever said.
AidenTheGamer14 asked, "Men of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a girl has ever said or done to you?"
For some, it was the stalkers.
The cryptic behavior and frightening detective work of ex-lovers can be unparalleled.
Some Light Sleuthing
"Found out my address from the phone book, this was the 90s, sat outside my house for multiple nights, all night just watching my house, I live in the middle of the woods miles outside of town."
"We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out sometime later what she had been doing."
-- crooky50-dc
Plot Twist
"Girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I'm like 'No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it.' She says if I don't change the locks she ain't comfortable sleeping over, so I change the locks."
"This ex sends me an angry text the next day 'So you changed your locks huh? Real nice a**hole.' So she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what."
-- Joey42601
She Stopped at Nothing
"She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable is the one where she told me she was married and 'he's a great guy but he's not you.' "
"Once not long after I'd moved to a new address I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me. Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other but realized that was pretty unlikely."
"Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harrassing me or I'd call the police (up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint). That night she called, I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in, and I haven't heard from her since."
-- JedLeland
Others dealt with the creepiness on the internet. With so many avenues of communication all around us, uncomfortable comments can come from all directions.
Phony Warnings
"Someone I considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her she found out who my girlfriend was somehow. She then DM'd her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her."
"Luckily I was with her when she got that DM so I could explain the situation and then we blocked her. Next day she DM'd her again from an alt account."
Worst Kind of Pen Pal
"I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested."
"So she started sending me emails."
"They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn't."
"They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally the emails stopped."
-- RPShep
That's A Lot of Passwords
"I've had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts all to try to get me to friend her. I've never met this woman in person and yet every few weeks I'll get a handful of friend requests from her"
-- keldog361
Terminal Catfish
"Met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did started to like her."
"Later found out that the pic she showed me of herself was actually a pic of her friend who had passed away due to cancer."
-- Immortal1h1
Poor Host
In my early 20's I was at a party and the hosting woman full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my business."
"Strange, yes, what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on."
-- BauranGaruda
Breaking Out the Scroll
"After 6 months from our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met she was friendly and all..."
"Then at a certain point she pulls a sheet in which there was written a list of all men she fu**ed after our relationship and she read it all to me, with accurate description of every sexual intercourse. Well it was an awkward moment."
-- Omoi_
Getaway Vehicle
"I was going to head home after a night out and a I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said 'I'm coming home with you.' "
"Nope. Taxi driver helped me and she got out the car eventually when I shot down her advances."
-- Stuf404
Again, it's important to read this thread and remember that this is a bias sample, solely focused on the incidents where a woman did act creepy.
But, yes, it happens out there.
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