Exes are exes for a reason - and this thread is full of reminders.
We aren't always 100% sure when, where, or why things are going to end - so we can never really know what the last thing is that you're going to say. Since most of us don't actually know it's the last thing, we aren't typically making sure that it's a work of literary art... which is part of what makes this thread so awesome.
Reddit user berrybrain43 asked:
And yeah ... things got awkward. So deliciously, wonderfully, magically awkward. They also got rage inducing, cringey, confusing, and downright heartbreaking sometimes. And absolutely none of these people have the kind of beautifully poetic send-off that 80's movies want us to think happen. Even when they try, the cringe is so real. You ready for this wild ride? Let's get to it.
Voice recognition screwed up the recipient when I was driving so I texted her to: "Wait a damn minute, I'll be there soon"
Her response: "Please don't come over"
I hadn't spoken to her for like 3 years and didn't even know I had her number saved still.
My last text to her was me explaining that being delusional doesn't mean she wasn't unfaithful. She insisted her cheating didn't count.
Her last text to me was this:
At least he looks like you
I still don't know what that means. It's not cheating if he looks like me?
Don't know. Just sent her a CD with "Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis on it.
Oh wow I literally just broke up with my girlfriend an hour ago. Here it is!
(After being ignored when I asked her why she lied about her ex calling her)
"It's ok you don't have to answer. I feel like I'm owed that as your boyfriend but it's ok. I think I'm going to break things off here as hard as it is- because I really really like you.
Its entirely on me, I'm in my head now and I don't think I'll be able to get out of it. I just think it's weird that you planned on staying the night with me, he calls and texts you and all of a sudden you have to go home because of your period but you can go to your friends house but couldn't stay at mine. And you can't FaceTime me because you're not going home like you acted you were. The timing is just oddly convenient. Plus you're not answering my question and that bothers me. It bothers me really bad, I would call you immediately if I ever thought you were being bothered by something like this. I wouldn't even text you back an answer, because I'd know you're hurting inside. Silence speaks a lot louder than words sometimes.
This is just the way you think when you've been burned a lot. And I have. Maybe I'm just paranoid from being screwed over, but you also lied about him calling and I don't like being lied to. No secrets remember? I don't like being played.
I really hope I'm just being paranoid, and I'm inclined to believe that's all just coincidental and you left because I was being a miserable, which I was - but the damage is done in my head. And I get stuck in my head, for long periods of time. Even if you're being truthful and you're just not answering me because your phones not with you or you don't want to because I'm no fun to talk to right now, the damage is done.
I'm sorry I'm a mess. I didn't want things to be like this but I've obviously got some things I need to sort out if you're not lying to me. You don't want a paranoid boyfriend looking over your shoulder to see if you're being truthful all the time, interrogating you, etc. And I don't want to be that guy, I hate being that way.
Again, if I've got all this mixed up and I'm just being a paranoid freak, forgive me. But I do suggest you try to be honest with your partners in the future about everything, even phone calls from ex's (Especially that kind of stuff), because for those of us that have been hurt it sends us spinning to be lied to.
I'm really sorry. You're great and beautiful and fun to be around, and I really like you, but you don't want to be with me when I'm like this.
And I didn't want to do this over text, but I'm dying inside waiting for you to explain to me why I'm thinking all wrong and you didn't lie about him calling and it means nothing etc. Leaving me hanging has caused me to let go.
Thank you for everything."
Honestly, this makes me wonder what actually was going on and who was the one who dodged a bullet in this case.
Glad I wasn't the only one thinking it. The word "unhinged" comes to mind.
Waiting To Happen
"You're a domestic violence issue waiting to happen. I'm glad you're moving because frankly I don't want to end up like that. And it's bull. You could be better than that, but you don't want any help. But you keep on keeping on, you're not my problem any more."
The Christmas BurnGiphy
Last year on Christmas she made a post: ''This year ends So send me photos you took with me and I will add it to my Facebook relation."
I sent her pic of me standing next to a trash can full of rags.
"I know you've been cheating on me on discord for the past 2 months, go f yourself."
"No, I don't"
Replying to "I know you love me"
Mocking Her Infertility
"Hey, I know you can't have kids and I'm really sorry that you and your new bf spent so much money on trying, but I just wanted to let you know I'm having a baby with my new girlfriend in September. Funny to think if you didn't cheat on me that none of this would've happened. Thank you."
She struggles with infertility and has been trying to have a child, but can't. She cheated on me so F her. She's a whore and the whole point was for the text to be super painful.
"I'm blocking your banks phone number, so it's your problem now."
I was his emergency contact for a long time, which somehow also meant that my phone number was linked to all his accounts, including his bank account. Was tired of asking him to change it.
3 Years Ago
Last ex was 3 years ago. My last text "I give up." Woop woop woop.
Little White Lie
"I regret nothing, it was fun while it lasted... I wish you all the best, please take care of yourself." (I actually regret everything, but I'm not the kind of person to hurt people.)
No More Threats
"Fine, kill yourself. Every girl you've abused, are abusing and who will be by you will be delighted to learn that you're out of their lives. You've played with my heart for 3 months, made threats and sent me horrifying videos of you hurting yourself and attempting suicide live. I'm tired of your games and I'm tired of you using your autism as a "pass" for everything. It's fkin not. Hope your mother won't be too sad, she didn't deserve a son like you."
What I said was probably not tactful, but I was done being terrorized and abused by him and his constant threats.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Manipulating The Anniversary
He sent me: "If we had another chance to do this, I would not fail you. I am sorry I took the life out of you. I am sorry I didn't appreciate you enough. But isn't it good, in a way, because you're his now?"
He decided the best time to dig up our history was on the anniversary of my dead best friend. It was such a toxic relationship (on both ends) and I am so thankful to have been able to get out when I did.
I simply responded with: "@awardsforgoodboys"
He knew what I meant.
Busting Mama's Boy
" 'Is you dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout.' Wow you've really backtracked, huh? You're using corny pickup lines now?"
Found the texts to other women he started cheating on me with on his messenger. He blocked me and told me his mom would be the power of attorney handling his divorce. That's what happens when you marry a mama's boy I suppose.
Stress Me Out
"Yeah we definitely can't be together anymore since all you do is stress me out."
Backstory: This was 2 years ago and we were both young. Teenage relationships, I know. Our parents were friends. For the majority of our relationship, he'd always say he would kill himself if I left, which is why I never did. One day, I addressed this with his mother and all she said was "He's just joking! Just take care of him for me." or something along those lines.
I made a few dumb jokes about drugs and piercings. I remember my mom would attempt to talk his mom into breaking us up. One morning, she called her and they spoke about it. His mom brought up the drug jokes and claimed that I said that I wanted to do drugs. My mom called me to ask if I had said that; she absolutely believed I didn't.
I was in school at the time and I was furious so I dumped him right there. To this day, he hasn't replied. His friends tell me that he didn't know if I was serious or not after I blocked him and deleted him off of everything.
I remember coming home from school that day and ripping up every single thing he had given me and threw it all in the trash. I threw the necklace he gave me in the trash as well. It felt good.
Government Owned Body
I messaged her on Instagram, telling her I'm leaving for basic training soon and I'd like to write her, with her permission. I told her that though my body belongs to the government, my heart belongs to her. She left me on read.
I hadn't heard from my ex for at least a couple of months at the time. She texted me unexpectedly saying "I finished rehab and will be back in town soon!"
and I said: "Ok, maybe now you won't be so crazy." and that was it. I had no idea she had gone to any kind of rehab and was no longer interested in seeing her in any capacity.
I Don't Get It
My last, like, three texts to her were: "I just don't understand what happened."
She tried explaining. I didn't understand. Finally she just said: "I don't know how else to put it in a way that you'll understand, you don't make me happy anymore and he does."
I responded again that I didn't understand. I still got no clue, but that was 5 years ago so that one will probably just remain unanswered forever.
"I hope your mom chokes."
His mom and I really did not get along.
The Pajama Shirt
"That ok. You can keep it or throw it away."
He was trying really hard to get me to come to pickup an old shirt I used to sleep in because I left it at his house. I think it was originally his anyway. I didn't want it and I didn't want to see him again, he really creeped me out at the end.
We had been together for three years before our relationship hit hard times. After a few months of him "needing time" and not replying or getting in touch, he sends a text asking how me and our puppy were doing. I replied: "Hi:) After careful consideration puppy and I have decided that we no longer need or want to keep in contact with you. Wish you well."
Its pretty much exactly one year ago, and he still wants to get back together, but to be honest its way too late and he was way too much work.
"Lol wtf is that???" after her sent me a sample of his dubstep music. I had no idea he made it otherwise I probably would've been a tad nicer.
Die. A Lot.
"You're gonna be told to die a lot. LOL"
We had a son together and this week is his sixth birthday. He loves watching us play video games and loves even more to tell us what to do; usually things that involve killing the character because he wants to see what happens when you do different things in the game. She said the plan for his birthday was to play Zelda and let him tell her to do whatever.
But out of context, that text to my ex is hilarious, hahaha
My ex wouldn't leave me alone after breaking up. He kept wanting to be friends and every few months would try to text me and wasn't getting the hint when I would say don't f****** message me.
He sends me a Snapchat of something I gave him years ago and said "Why does this remind me of you?" I sent back a picture of dog crap with the same caption.
The US is represented in the majority of some of the biggest films recognized worldwide–from iconic movies like American Grafitti to The Color Purple, to recent critically-acclaimed films like Minari and Moonlight.
Even classic American sitcoms like Friends are known the world over as the ultimate example of American comedy.
But there are plenty of misconceptions about American culture seen in some of these entertainment offerings that foreign audiences seem to miss, and it's time to set the record straight.
For starters, an apartment in New York City is not at all spacious like the one that was inhabited by Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler. So there's that.
Curious to hear more examples of what our friends across the Atlantic could stand to learn, Redditor Jazzlike_Fondant_518 asked:
"Americans, what’s something Europeans need to hear?"
American Redditors had a thing or two to say about how we roll here in the States.
"Free, clean, omnipresent public restrooms are indeed possible."
Vouching For The Myth
"As a British person who now lives in the US I would say public toilets is something the US does really well. They are everywhere, accessible and usually very clean. Europe definitely needs to catch up on this."
Driving In Circles
"We have roundabouts here. They exist. Stop claiming we don't."
Preconceived notions can be bye-bye.
Nothing Cool About This
"The flavor of America is not cool ranch."
Maintaining Best Indoor Air Quality
"Invest in hvac and soon cause it won't get cheaper or cooler."
"A large portion of Americans are rational and moderate people, and what you see on the television isn't indicative of every American you meet."
"America isn't the only country with racial issues."
Europeans, take note.
"It’s past time you take James Corden back."
It's A Big Problem
"Europe is getting fat too."
Kernel Of Truth
"Putting corn on pizza doesn't make it 'American pizza'. It just makes it disgusting."
"A good looking guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie."
Despite everything in the news happening in the States creating division and leaving people feeling dejected, a good majority of US citizens are not jerks.
There are loads of kind, considerate, empathetic, and well-behaved people living here.
Europeans often don't get to hear this since much of the media focuses on iniquitous behavior.
Humanity is still intact here.
At least that's what I still believe.
I admit, and this might as well be heresy to lots of people, that I just don't like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
I know ya'll love it, but there's very little about it that I feel accurately captures the feeling of magic and whimsy that I experienced while I read Road Dahl's stellar book.
Before you get on my case, I'll emphatically deny liking Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... because it's also terrible.
You just can't please some people (namely me), right?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Dame87 asked the online community,
"What is a film that gets a huge amount of praise but you think is awful?"
Paranormal Activity (2007)
"Paranormal Activity. I've seen scarier crap in a public toilet."
When it came out it was pretty freaky and I still wasn't in love with it. It's the definition of average.
The Notebook (2004)
"The Notebook. Both leads are so unlikeable and horrible to each other it's not even enjoyable in a 'so bad it's good' way."
"Especially when she actually breaks up with him, gets in a stable relationship with another guy who's not awful...and then ditches that guy to get back with the main love interest because respectful relationships are sooo boring, everyone real love requires being unable to be in the same room without coming to literal screaming matches."
Honestly, aside from some very good acting, the script of this film is pretty terrible.
But it's Nicholas Sparks, we're talking about.
The Blind Side (2009)
"The Blind Side. They turned an interesting real life story into Hollywood crap."
Even the film's subject dislikes it.
Sandra Bullock beating her competition for THAT? She was much better in Gravity.
"Frozen. I hate it too much, but I can’t help it. People kept saying how it was the best Disney movie ever and it wasn’t even top ten."
Disney really did this film a disservice by shoving it down everyone's throats for much of the last decade.
Les Miserables (2012)
"I know Les Misérables was super acclaimed and all that, but it was really nothing like the book. It made me sad."
It wasn't meant to be an adaptation of the book, it was meant to be an adaptation of the musical (which a lot of people don't like because it condenses many of the elements from the book).
That said, I can't stand this film either. It's horribly directed.
"Crash won Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Film Editing awards. Received six Academy Award nominations. I thought it sucked."
You mean the film in which Sandra Bullock is cured of her racism after she falls down the stairs?
"Grease. I HATED it. I can appreciate the choreography, but the storyline is awful, cheesy (not to mention misogynistic, which at my first viewing I didn’t know what that was). Couldn’t stand Stockard Channing’s character. Really bad acting too."
It's just a bit too hokey for my taste – it makes it difficult to enjoy.
I did see a stage production years ago that was a lot more fun.
Black Panther (2018)
"It has a nice looking setting, and it was good to see a movie featuring a majority black cast with a positive/comic book storyline rather than the stereotypical urban/hang setting. So to that end it read a good movie."
"At the same time, it was also just yet another unmemorable marvel movie - I know I have seen it, but I have no memory of what actually happened in it. Remove the political/seeing element of it and it gets completely lost in the crowd."
Considering that Marvel films do absolutely nothing for me, I was not surprised by Black Panther or the fact that it was more of the same.
Meet the Parents (2000)
"Meet the Parents. It’s just two hours of being vicariously stressed out and embarrassed for Ben Stiller."
Something tells me this movie likely has not aged well. It would not surprise me at all if this turned out to be the case.
"Avatar. It's just Pocahontas in space, God dammit."
I prefer Dances with Wolves in space myself.
I rewatched this earlier during lockdown and dropped my DVD off at a local community center afterward. And who the hell asked for three more sequels?
We all have our tastes, sorry to disappoint. Besides, we're certain that you have a film or two you dislike in your arsenal.
Have thoughts about other films that are not included here? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Even though many of us have interesting events in our lives to share at a get-together, there is always someone who can top your story with a life event that can be a little too zany to be believed.
"What’s your wildest story that sounds too far-fetched to be true?"
Redditors' interactions with animals were either empowering or terrifying.
A Chihuahua's Hero
"Mine is when I was in high school I lived out in the countryside of Central Texas. I was just kind of bumbling around on the property and my mom's little chihuahua was tagging along. I heard a bird, saw a fast moving shadow, and threw my arm out, slapping a hawk out of the sky as it tried to get my mom's chihuahua."
"Cut my arm pretty good, but saved that little rat of a dog. The chihuahua went on to pass away at a smooth 19 years old."
Brush With An Owl
"I worked nights in college. I'd always take my two dogs out to pee when I got home and one late night an owl tried to snatch my Chihuahua but thankfully missed. My golden retriever ran back inside like the owl was going to somehow take his 60lb a** but my chi stood his ground like he could take it on. I got him inside and was much more careful after that. He, too, passed at 19. I miss him."
"I was almost drowned by a pod of dolphins while surfing at Salt Creek, Orange County, CA. I got up on a wave and one of them knocked me over, 2 wave pin down on a 5-7 ft day."
These could be plot points in a movie.
"I was surfing in Santa Barbara County when I was a kid, maybe 14 or 15. When I would come in from a surf, I had the habit of undoing my leash from my leg while I was walking in the shallow water. Unbeknownst to me, the other side of the leash that connects to the board had come off. I lost my leash. I searched around the tidal zone but no luck. I was bummed but I just moved on."
"Three weeks later, I was surfing in Ventura county, and as I was walking in from the surf, a piece of kelp wrapped around my leg. I reached down to pull it off. It wasn’t kelp, it was my leash I’d lost a dozen miles north a few weeks back. It had algae and stuff growing on it, but no mistaking it was absolutely my leash."
The Origin Of Love
"When my dad and step-mom met, my dad swore he’d met her before, but couldn’t remember when or where. Eventually, he decided he’d seen her in Cody, Wyoming, the town where he grew up. She swore she’d never even been to Wyoming (she’s from Oregon and that’s where they met)."
"Several years later, after they’d been married a while, step-mom mentions to her mom that my dad swears he met her in Cody, but she’s never been there. Her mom says 'Yes, you have,' and pulls out a photograph from 1956 of her, age 9, riding on a mechanical horse (a kid one) and in the background, standing around in the crowd, is my dad and his two brothers, ages 8, 10, and 11."
"She submitted the story to a local magazine for a Valentine’s Day contest one year and won a trip to a resort."
"Some honorable mentions: By the time I was 20, I was 1 degree of separation away from 5 different people who’d been murdered by 3 different serial killers (gotta love the PNW), and I almost hit Bob Dylan with my car once."
"First time I ever smoked pot a police helicopter hovered above me and my friend and hit us with the spotlight. They were looking for someone else apparently because they immediately moved on. Nonetheless…"
"I took my VW to the dealer to get some work done. The service rep at the counter was so hung over (possibly still intoxicated) that he couldn’t handle completing the paper work. He told the tech that I was a VIP, specifically 'Britni Spears’s brother' and that he owed me a favor, so the work was on the house and they just never did any paperwork, didn’t charge me a dime, did the work, handed me the keys, and away I drove."
These Redditors couldn't believe their luck.
"I won a two week cruise vacation for two in a contest."
"I never entered the contest."
"I was convinced I was being scammed."
"Even from the beaches of the Caribbean, I still wasn't convinced."
The Generous Friend
"Was in Vegas for a work thing. I was not happy about being there because it was a tough time in my life, money was really tight and Vegas is the last place you want to be when money is tight."
"I was telling my buddy about it and he says, 'Im going to pay pal you $150. Go play the poker tournament at the Venetian at night. You can drink for free and hopefully you last long. If you win anything, pay me back, if not, no worries.'"
"So I did. Won the tournament! $3200."
"The second night, I went off to play some craps alone one night because I did not like the work people and did not want to hang with them."
"Started with $200. 45 minuted later I 7’d out and had $37,000. Cashed out and told no one!"
"On the drive back (I lived in Phoenix) I called my buddy and told him (only) about it. I sent him $2500."
"The one time I went to Vegas at the proper age of 21, I won $2000 on my first spin on the 25c slot machine. I didn't gamble the rest of the time and enjoyed the fact that my trip paid for itself. Came home with all the money I left with and an extra $800. Didn't tell my bf I was with at the time either; he would have tried to spend my money."
Given A Second Chance
"I went jogging one night and came across a lady laid out face first. No heart beat. Started doing cpr. Never saw another person was able to call 911 while doing cpr. Kept at it twenty Minutes till FD got there. She made a full recovery. They said cpr that long has a 95% fail rate."
A friend back in high school told me he was a vampire when he dropped me off from band practice.
This was at a time when Anne Rice was super popular and everyone was reading the Lestat books.
Being an impressionable 15-year-old at the time, I believed him, because he warned me that if I ever revealed his identity to anyone, "I will find you."
A couple of years ago, I reunited with a mutual friend and I joked about how I believed so-and-so was a creature of the night. We nervously laughed.
Whether my blood-thirsty friend was weighing on my conscience or not, I've been visited by him in COUNTLESS dreams ever since I told my friend about him.
Call it what you want–paranoia or self-fulfilling prophecy–but there are some things in this realm I will never be able to explain.
I'm just glad I'm still here to talk about it now that I let the proverbial cat out of the bag.
When you're younger, you might think you come from a great family. But as a kid, you miss out on a lot of nuance. You do not see all the drama the adults around you are involved in. And when you do eventually notice it, you start to realize that maybe few—if any—of your family members actually like each other. So why put up with all those tense family holiday dinners?
This isn't to say that all families are like this. Absolutely not. There are some very happy and wonderful families out there. But seeing families hurt each other is enough to teach you that maybe that age old tradition of getting together for Christmas dinner might not be in everyone's best interest.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor captrober157 asked the online community,
"What family tradition ends with you?"
"Being an alcoholic."
"Being an alcoholic. My dad is an alcoholic. Both my grandfathers were alcoholics, which is what killed them. One of my grandmothers used to be an alcoholic and the other one still is. I could go on and on."
Be strong and bold man, don't let the family pressure get to you!
"200 years of living in London and my kids will never be able to afford to rent or buy here."
200 years of living anywhere, it seems. It's insane.
"My dad interrupting dinner..."
"My dad interrupting dinner, so we can CALL LONG DISTANCE to relatives who couldn’t travel to the event. Then we’d have to pass the phone around the table for brief, superficial greetings as our food went cold. Yikes."
Ummm... what? No, thank you. There's no way!
"Expecting the oldest child..."
"Expecting the oldest child to parent the younger one and getting pissed off when the oldest ends up acting like a parent. My younger brother is eight years younger than me. I stopped being a kid by the age of 8.5."
Very frustrating and sadly the case for many families out there, especially those of more limited means.
"Expecting my son..."
"Expecting my son to join the military. Almost every male family member on my father's side have fought in every conflict since WW1. I did two tours in Afghanistan and I never want him to experience anything like that."
War is traumatic and ideally, no one should ever have to experience it.
"Being hush hush..."
"Being hush hush about mental health related topics and untrusting of medicine in general."
It's great to see the younger generation be so open about mental health and fighting the stigma!
"Telling the boys..."
"Telling the boys to not cry. To push it down. Going to let my kid cry and talk about his feelings as much as he damn well pleases."
This is so important — young boys need to grow up knowing that their feelings are valid.
"Arranged marriage. Should have ended that tradition myself but was too much of a coward."
The best time was for yourself. The second best will be for your kids.
"Massive extended family gatherings. Not practical. Besides, grandma kicked the bucket 10 years ago."
Often, families splinter once a matriarch or patriarch dies and people realize that they were the glue keeping everyone together.
"I'm the first..."
"Living below the poverty line. I'm the first member of my family to be middle class."
Fantastic! Break the cycle!
It takes a lot of courage to break from your family, especially if they've always done things a certain way. A lot of respect to people who decide to and are able to create new lives for themselves!
What does breaking the cycle mean to you? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!