Exes are exes for a reason - and this thread is full of reminders.
We aren't always 100% sure when, where, or why things are going to end - so we can never really know what the last thing is that you're going to say. Since most of us don't actually know it's the last thing, we aren't typically making sure that it's a work of literary art... which is part of what makes this thread so awesome.
Reddit user berrybrain43 asked:
And yeah ... things got awkward. So deliciously, wonderfully, magically awkward. They also got rage inducing, cringey, confusing, and downright heartbreaking sometimes. And absolutely none of these people have the kind of beautifully poetic send-off that 80's movies want us to think happen. Even when they try, the cringe is so real. You ready for this wild ride? Let's get to it.
Voice recognition screwed up the recipient when I was driving so I texted her to: "Wait a damn minute, I'll be there soon"
Her response: "Please don't come over"
I hadn't spoken to her for like 3 years and didn't even know I had her number saved still.
My last text to her was me explaining that being delusional doesn't mean she wasn't unfaithful. She insisted her cheating didn't count.
Her last text to me was this:
At least he looks like you
I still don't know what that means. It's not cheating if he looks like me?
Don't know. Just sent her a CD with "Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis on it.
Oh wow I literally just broke up with my girlfriend an hour ago. Here it is!
(After being ignored when I asked her why she lied about her ex calling her)
"It's ok you don't have to answer. I feel like I'm owed that as your boyfriend but it's ok. I think I'm going to break things off here as hard as it is- because I really really like you.
Its entirely on me, I'm in my head now and I don't think I'll be able to get out of it. I just think it's weird that you planned on staying the night with me, he calls and texts you and all of a sudden you have to go home because of your period but you can go to your friends house but couldn't stay at mine. And you can't FaceTime me because you're not going home like you acted you were. The timing is just oddly convenient. Plus you're not answering my question and that bothers me. It bothers me really bad, I would call you immediately if I ever thought you were being bothered by something like this. I wouldn't even text you back an answer, because I'd know you're hurting inside. Silence speaks a lot louder than words sometimes.
This is just the way you think when you've been burned a lot. And I have. Maybe I'm just paranoid from being screwed over, but you also lied about him calling and I don't like being lied to. No secrets remember? I don't like being played.
I really hope I'm just being paranoid, and I'm inclined to believe that's all just coincidental and you left because I was being a miserable, which I was - but the damage is done in my head. And I get stuck in my head, for long periods of time. Even if you're being truthful and you're just not answering me because your phones not with you or you don't want to because I'm no fun to talk to right now, the damage is done.
I'm sorry I'm a mess. I didn't want things to be like this but I've obviously got some things I need to sort out if you're not lying to me. You don't want a paranoid boyfriend looking over your shoulder to see if you're being truthful all the time, interrogating you, etc. And I don't want to be that guy, I hate being that way.
Again, if I've got all this mixed up and I'm just being a paranoid freak, forgive me. But I do suggest you try to be honest with your partners in the future about everything, even phone calls from ex's (Especially that kind of stuff), because for those of us that have been hurt it sends us spinning to be lied to.
I'm really sorry. You're great and beautiful and fun to be around, and I really like you, but you don't want to be with me when I'm like this.
And I didn't want to do this over text, but I'm dying inside waiting for you to explain to me why I'm thinking all wrong and you didn't lie about him calling and it means nothing etc. Leaving me hanging has caused me to let go.
Thank you for everything."
Honestly, this makes me wonder what actually was going on and who was the one who dodged a bullet in this case.
Glad I wasn't the only one thinking it. The word "unhinged" comes to mind.
Waiting To Happen
"You're a domestic violence issue waiting to happen. I'm glad you're moving because frankly I don't want to end up like that. And it's bull. You could be better than that, but you don't want any help. But you keep on keeping on, you're not my problem any more."
The Christmas BurnGiphy
Last year on Christmas she made a post: ''This year ends So send me photos you took with me and I will add it to my Facebook relation."
I sent her pic of me standing next to a trash can full of rags.
"I know you've been cheating on me on discord for the past 2 months, go f yourself."
"No, I don't"
Replying to "I know you love me"
Mocking Her Infertility
"Hey, I know you can't have kids and I'm really sorry that you and your new bf spent so much money on trying, but I just wanted to let you know I'm having a baby with my new girlfriend in September. Funny to think if you didn't cheat on me that none of this would've happened. Thank you."
She struggles with infertility and has been trying to have a child, but can't. She cheated on me so F her. She's a whore and the whole point was for the text to be super painful.
"I'm blocking your banks phone number, so it's your problem now."
I was his emergency contact for a long time, which somehow also meant that my phone number was linked to all his accounts, including his bank account. Was tired of asking him to change it.
3 Years Ago
Last ex was 3 years ago. My last text "I give up." Woop woop woop.
Little White Lie
"I regret nothing, it was fun while it lasted... I wish you all the best, please take care of yourself." (I actually regret everything, but I'm not the kind of person to hurt people.)
No More Threats
"Fine, kill yourself. Every girl you've abused, are abusing and who will be by you will be delighted to learn that you're out of their lives. You've played with my heart for 3 months, made threats and sent me horrifying videos of you hurting yourself and attempting suicide live. I'm tired of your games and I'm tired of you using your autism as a "pass" for everything. It's fkin not. Hope your mother won't be too sad, she didn't deserve a son like you."
What I said was probably not tactful, but I was done being terrorized and abused by him and his constant threats.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Manipulating The Anniversary
He sent me: "If we had another chance to do this, I would not fail you. I am sorry I took the life out of you. I am sorry I didn't appreciate you enough. But isn't it good, in a way, because you're his now?"
He decided the best time to dig up our history was on the anniversary of my dead best friend. It was such a toxic relationship (on both ends) and I am so thankful to have been able to get out when I did.
I simply responded with: "@awardsforgoodboys"
He knew what I meant.
Busting Mama's Boy
" 'Is you dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout.' Wow you've really backtracked, huh? You're using corny pickup lines now?"
Found the texts to other women he started cheating on me with on his messenger. He blocked me and told me his mom would be the power of attorney handling his divorce. That's what happens when you marry a mama's boy I suppose.
Stress Me Out
"Yeah we definitely can't be together anymore since all you do is stress me out."
Backstory: This was 2 years ago and we were both young. Teenage relationships, I know. Our parents were friends. For the majority of our relationship, he'd always say he would kill himself if I left, which is why I never did. One day, I addressed this with his mother and all she said was "He's just joking! Just take care of him for me." or something along those lines.
I made a few dumb jokes about drugs and piercings. I remember my mom would attempt to talk his mom into breaking us up. One morning, she called her and they spoke about it. His mom brought up the drug jokes and claimed that I said that I wanted to do drugs. My mom called me to ask if I had said that; she absolutely believed I didn't.
I was in school at the time and I was furious so I dumped him right there. To this day, he hasn't replied. His friends tell me that he didn't know if I was serious or not after I blocked him and deleted him off of everything.
I remember coming home from school that day and ripping up every single thing he had given me and threw it all in the trash. I threw the necklace he gave me in the trash as well. It felt good.
Government Owned Body
I messaged her on Instagram, telling her I'm leaving for basic training soon and I'd like to write her, with her permission. I told her that though my body belongs to the government, my heart belongs to her. She left me on read.
I hadn't heard from my ex for at least a couple of months at the time. She texted me unexpectedly saying "I finished rehab and will be back in town soon!"
and I said: "Ok, maybe now you won't be so crazy." and that was it. I had no idea she had gone to any kind of rehab and was no longer interested in seeing her in any capacity.
I Don't Get It
My last, like, three texts to her were: "I just don't understand what happened."
She tried explaining. I didn't understand. Finally she just said: "I don't know how else to put it in a way that you'll understand, you don't make me happy anymore and he does."
I responded again that I didn't understand. I still got no clue, but that was 5 years ago so that one will probably just remain unanswered forever.
"I hope your mom chokes."
His mom and I really did not get along.
The Pajama Shirt
"That ok. You can keep it or throw it away."
He was trying really hard to get me to come to pickup an old shirt I used to sleep in because I left it at his house. I think it was originally his anyway. I didn't want it and I didn't want to see him again, he really creeped me out at the end.
We had been together for three years before our relationship hit hard times. After a few months of him "needing time" and not replying or getting in touch, he sends a text asking how me and our puppy were doing. I replied: "Hi:) After careful consideration puppy and I have decided that we no longer need or want to keep in contact with you. Wish you well."
Its pretty much exactly one year ago, and he still wants to get back together, but to be honest its way too late and he was way too much work.
"Lol wtf is that???" after her sent me a sample of his dubstep music. I had no idea he made it otherwise I probably would've been a tad nicer.
Die. A Lot.
"You're gonna be told to die a lot. LOL"
We had a son together and this week is his sixth birthday. He loves watching us play video games and loves even more to tell us what to do; usually things that involve killing the character because he wants to see what happens when you do different things in the game. She said the plan for his birthday was to play Zelda and let him tell her to do whatever.
But out of context, that text to my ex is hilarious, hahaha
My ex wouldn't leave me alone after breaking up. He kept wanting to be friends and every few months would try to text me and wasn't getting the hint when I would say don't f****** message me.
He sends me a Snapchat of something I gave him years ago and said "Why does this remind me of you?" I sent back a picture of dog crap with the same caption.