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People Share Which Things They Think Should Have Been Invented By Now

How in the world are we this far behind?!?!

After a decade of the hit show "Shark Tank" you'd think that there would be nothing left to invent. How could there possibly be anything we haven't realized we're missing? We're already the laziest generation of record, what more could there be? Apparently there are a multitude of visions and ideas just waiting to materialize. So maybe we need to stop thinking and get on it. Science and innovation waits for no man.

Redditor stephen_d wanted to discuss what special projects are long overdue for civilization by asking....

What should have been invented by now?

"What subject is that?"

Giphy

A way of inserting knowledge into my brain. Goodbye school. Trickypr

In the movie THX1138 little kids are playing with IVs running into their arms. A middle aged guy stops one and asks "What subject is that?" when the kid answers the guy says "Really? It's so small. When I was your age that subject was THIS BIG and we had to lay down to get it!".

It's been years since I watched the show so obviously the dialogue isn't close to exact hopefully you get the gist. It was a great "I had to walk uphill, in the snow, barefoot, both ways" moment in the show. huckDexterWard

Shower Diet. 

A churro you can eat in the shower. hfroxE

very churro is a shower churro if you want it bad enough. 1iopen

Flipped. 

An umbrella that doesn't flip cause of wind. jimtothetim

https://www.senz.com

Search wind proof umbrella you can find several brands. :) 👍🏼 Flamingo492

Choices of Zzzzz....

Giphy

A "select a sleep" device, where you can dial in whether to dream, how long you'll be out, and hit "Z" to fall asleep instantly. eclectic-radish

Science doesn't even understand why we need sleep entirely so that's a bit away. rattpackfan301

Clickers. 

A clicker pen that makes a different animal noise each time you click it. BlezlTheRainbow

This would last about two weeks before every teachers desk was full and the schools ban them. Sullivan17

Teleporting. 

Teleporting. I wake up everyday waiting for it. These damn train cartels preventing it from happening. TempStepDad

When teleportation becomes a thing, who's to argue that it's just killing current you then perfectly reproducing a new you without the memories of your original's death? rattpackfan301

Please Lawd!

Giphy

A more efficient DMV system!! miramaxe

Hovering....

Hover boards. Back to the Future is a bunch of bull! comrade_batman

It's possible, but not profitable. rattpackfan301

Not profitable? When it rains and there's gigantic puddles everywhere I'd rather a hover board then wet socks. 0AzRen0

Cured. 

A cure for the common cold! manseydoll

Its tough because the common cold is more of a symptom more than anything else. There are over 200 different viruses that cause the Common Cold, its why you keep getting colds and why kids get so many. Too many to build up immunity to everything and too many to cure. If they cured 1 they'd still have 200+ to go. little_fatty

All the Feels. 

A phone that can not only let you see and hear things, but also touch and smell. _HastaLaPasta_

Back when the internet was first getting big, there was a device that plugged into a PC that supposedly replicated smells. It had some stupid name like smell o vision or some shit. It did not sell well. bernyzilla

Remote Patrol.

Giphy

A button on a TV that makes the remote beep. dead_wolf_walkin

My tv doesn't even have buttons anymore. God forbid I lose the remote while the tv is on. Reddit

Stoned. 

A pill that dissolves kidney stones. intelligent_cement

I think I heard something about a procedure using ultrasounds to try to break them up. ArcWolf713

Lithotripsy. When I had it done to break up the golf ball sized stone blocking my ureter, they put me under for it and put a stent in to help the pieces pass more easily.

It was still like peeing shards of glass for a few days.

Plus, as an added bonus, they don't knock you out to remove the stent, they just put a small tube, grab it, and pull.

All in all, I'd rather have a pill that dissolves them. KhaoticMess

Lasered. 

Better printers. Kn1ght0fN169

Advice I got from r/askengineers.

"Get a brother laser printer and never look back."

I bought one. Haven't looked back. It's wonderful. lulzdemort

Glass temps...

Every window in your car has a heating element so you don't have to stand in the freezing cold scraping all the windows . And likewise they wont steam up in cold weather with 3 or more people in the car. inked29inked29

it needs to remain indirect. My old chebby gains heat within seconds even at 20 below. I have cracked windshields in ice storms just starting the truck. I leave it on floor settings to go easier on that frail stuff called double laminated safety glass. bgd73

boy control.

Giphy

Legit birth control for men. Varvatos_Vex

There was one in the works but it made the test subjects depressed/suicidal. One person even supposedly committed suicide. The sick part was the stay at home mom talk shows were like "men are such wimps" :( Ensec

Shiny Heads. 

A legitimate cure for balding. What's the hold up? There have got to be bald scientists dedicating their lives to this. anon3220

It's a very profitable industry, and heck yes there are. The future is cloning hair follicles, but we still need to figure out the ethics with stem cells. rattpackfan301

Dental Works. 

A method to regrow teeth. discostud1515

They're working on it. Recently read something about regenerating enamel. While ago read something about soaking teeny spongy things in an Alzheimer's medication and they pack it in a cavity or something and it regrows dentin. I'm too tired to find you the sauce but it's out there. Bolognabaybe

Freeze Blast. 

A microwave, but for making stuff cold. EggsAndBeerKegs

Most professional kitchens have blast chillers which are pretty similar. Or there's always an anti griddle. prongslover77

Whose got the Power?! 

Fusion power. A clean power source who's base product is literally everywhere, allowing us to replace much (comparatively) more expensive fuel sources?

We should be dumping hundreds of billions of dollars into researching it and finally get rid of fossil fuels. hockeypeg18

If I don't live to see it (58), I'm confident a 20yo will. The science is there, what's needed is the technology and engineering. Not to underestimate that challenge but it's grunt it out work that can be solved with money. tatersdad

Health First.

Giphy

The medical kiosk where you can walk in and get your finger pricked and pee in a cup and maybe even get an X-ray all while chatting with a medical professional. Pay your $50 and leave. 2K_Argo

Okay, we want all of these please! What would you add to this? Let us know in the comments below.

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These Eerie Gut Feelings Saved Lives
Photo by Edz Norton on Unsplash

Never underestimate the power of intuition. When these people felt something was odd, they trusted their gut feelings—and ended up saving lives. When they didn't, the consequences were disastrous. If you just can't help but feel like something isn't right, listen to the little voice in the back of your mind. It could change everything.

The Mugging

woman holding clutch bag standing beside white bridgePhoto by Zeny Rosalina on Unsplash

I had a gut feeling I should pull my wallet and phone out of my purse. Not even 20 seconds later, I get mugged. The man dragged me across the sidewalk and grabbed my purse BUT all he ended up getting was a juice box.

guessthisis_me

The Welcome Mat

I woke up from a deep sleep at like 2 am during a winter storm; something wasn't right...I immediately went looking for my senior dog and couldn't find her anywhere in the house. My roommates had a tendency to let her out for a walk and forget about her, closing the door. I ran to the front of the house and found her laying on the welcome mat, she was hardly breathing and covered in snow.

She had been outside alone for at the very least five hours. I got her inside and warmed her up. Thankfully, she was okay, but if she'd been out all night, she would have been terribly hurt if not worse. I moved out shortly after.

Cafilkafish

Now We’re Cooking With Grease

I went shopping to prep for my long-distance girlfriend that was staying over, and I saw boxes of baking soda in the market. I thought, "Oh yeah, it's smart to keep baking soda around in the kitchen in case you have a grease fire". So, I grab a box. She's cooking breakfast the next morning while I'm in the shower when I hear her yelling for help.

I come out and the stove is on fire. Like a champ I yell, "I'm ready for this"! I grab the baking soda and put out the fire. Always keep baking soda in the fridge, kids.

Formaldahead

Perfect Timing

My aunt told me a story about my dad (who greatly dislikes his sister and is an all-around jerk 98% of the time) calling her out of the blue one night while she was in college. She answered, he said he didn't know why but he had this urge to call her, to make sure she was okay. She told him she was fine and thanked him for calling to check on her. He didn't know what she was hiding.

She never told anyone else except me, and hopefully a therapist or two, but she was holding the bottle of pills and she was planning to take them all right when he called her. Twenty-some years later and she's very happy with her decision to live.

kag94

Intrusive Company

My mom had a really bad encounter in the early 90s. She and her best friend had gone out drinking one night. While they were at the bar two strangers were trying to flirt with them, but just came off as creepy. The creeps wouldn't leave mom and her friend alone so they decided to leave. They went back to the friend's place who lived in a trailer park then and my mom stayed the night.

Some time after they got back, they heard a small noise at the door. What happened next is so terrifying I can’t believe it. They looked out the window and saw the two men from the bar at the front door quietly trying to break into the trailer—but it gets worse. The friend grabbed the phone to call 9-1-1 and the line was dead.

If I remember correctly, they grabbed large kitchen knives, banged on the window, showed they were armed, and let them know they would kill them if they came in. The men took off and neither mom nor friend slept that night. The next day they found out the phone wasn't working because the men had cut the phone line to the trailer before they tried to break in.

R_Sapphire

Identification

white, red, and gray concrete buildingPhoto by Mehluli Hikwa on Unsplash

When I was 20 years old, I worked at a gas station. They had just changed the law to if the customer looked 40 and under, you had to ID them if they were buying smokes. I was by myself and a lady came in and ordered a pack of Camels. She looked roughly 45, so I didn't ask. However, I had this nagging feeling throughout the transaction that it would be a VERY good idea to ask.

So, before I took her money I kind of laughed and said, "Mind if I see your ID really quick? I'm really sorry, you're clearly old enough but they changed the law recently on who we have to ID". She just looks at me and said, "I'm so glad you asked"! and flashed her work card at me. She was a freaking inspector. If I didn't ask her, I would have been detained and fined.

That was the day I learned to trust my gut. And that I also suck at telling people's ages. She was 35.

Dementedgnome

A Certain Smell

When I was 15, I smelled burning plastic early in the morning at my family cottage. I almost went back to sleep but in the end, I decided to get up to investigate. Thank God I listened to my gut feeling. A socket on the outside of the building had caught fire and flames were rising up the wall. The rest of my family was still sleeping and there wasn’t enough smoke for the alarms to go off.

I ran and got the fire extinguisher, got my dad up, put it in his hands, and pointed him towards the fire. He stopped it and called the fire department.

The Creepy Coworker

Years ago my partner at the time had a coworker that kept inviting us out to drink. I had never met the guy and was wondering why he seemed so eager to meet me, especially since I wasn’t even old enough to drink at the time. He eventually told my ex that we should come over to his place for drinks (in order for me to partake). I remember around this time creeping his Facebook and seeing the squirrelly guy posing in front of his Honda.

Something about it all made me laugh and wonder why this 20-something-year-old want to go to such lengths to hang out with a 17-year-old girl he knows is taken? A couple of years later, I learned the awful reason. He got detained on a multitude of assault charges. They seized several devices that proved he’d been doing stuff with children and animals since he was at least 13. Cherry on top? He was the local star cop’s son.

MeddlingKids1126

Canine Interception

In our mid-20s, my husband and I lived in a townhome without a yard in a pretty nice area of town. We knew we were purchasing a house soon, so we went ahead and got our first puppy! I’m a morning person, whilst my husband is not, so I would usually get up around 5 am and take the puppy out to the little patch of grass across the street from out townhome still inside the entire complex. I did this for several months, no big deal.

Well one morning while out waiting on the puppy, an old Ford van, all beat up with no windows, slowly drives by and goes back behind another building. A few minutes later as I’m getting ready to cross the street and go back inside, the van comes back up the road to where I was getting ready to cross, stops in the middle of the road and turns off its lights. I waved them on in front of me and at that point, both doors of the van started to open.

All I remember was seeing someone start to get out before both the dog and I felt the undeniable urge to run across the street and inside as fast as possible. Once inside, the van sped off and disappeared. But it gets even creepier. I went upstairs to wake my husband, only to find out he was in the middle of a dream where I’d been kidnapped. To this day, I refuse to run outside or go on walks alone, even on our quiet country roads. And big old vans still creep me out.

AwwG

Lifesaver

I work as an ER nurse and had a patient with a little dizziness, a little nausea and a swollen abdomen. She was fairly bright, able to talk, and nothing seemed too horrific. But she was turning a grim gray color and breathing quickly. Our average wait time today was two hours. I could have put her back in the queue and moved on.

But I had a little dark feeling that there was something sinister happening here. So I called our most senior doctor out of a consultation and asked him to see her. Right now. Ever heard of your abdominal aorta? Enormous blood vessel that can pouch out, suddenly rupture, and make you bleed out internally in minutes?

It’s called a burst AAA (abdominal aortic aneurysm). You’ve heard of it now. That’s what she had. I’ve never seen one before. But now I have. Within five minutes, she was barely responding. Within ten, her blood pressure had dropped to a barely sustainable level. Within twenty minutes, I was pouring blood into her and eight people were around the bed.

Within an hour, she was on an operating table clinging to life. But because I raised the alarm, and because my team worked their butts off, that woman is still, somehow, alive. Feels good, man.

ElCaminoInTheWest

Trip to the Store

girl covering her face with both handsPhoto by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

When I was about 3 or 4, my parents were building a big house and the lead contractor was always extra friendly to me. My parents were always a little bit hands-off so I somehow ended up alone with the lead contractor in a half-finished house. I vaguely remember him and honestly don’t know how long I was alone with him. My family always refused to say.

Later, I learned the dark truth. My mom caught him right as he was loading me into his truck and snatched me up while screaming at him, all while he’s insisting, he “just wanted to buy your daughter candy at the store”! They never reported him. I still can’t understand why.

brbdead

Until the Bell

I work primarily unsupervised and often finish my work 30 - 60 minutes before the end of the day. One day I was finished super early and had a lot to do outside work. I was about to leave when I got this funny feeling, so I stayed. Sure enough, 10 minutes before my scheduled finish, my boss's boss walks into my otherwise forgotten office.

For the record, I'm salaried and am usually in early. My boss wouldn't bat an eye as long as my work was honestly finished. His boss, on the other hand, would probably have fired me on the spot.

Gstamsharp

Creeper Gauge

I was heading home from my mom's and was at a light next to a gas station when the person next to me told me there was something wrong with my tire. I pulled into the gas station and when I saw the person follow me in, I felt something off, so I didn't get out. Instead I called my mom on my cellphone and when the guy pulled next to me, I gave him a thumbs up through the windshield.

I then drove back to my mom's, which I had just left and was only a few minutes away. I get there, get out, we look at my tires and they are just fine.

michaelthecoder

The Car Thief

When my husband and I were in college, we came home late one night after a long day and had to get up early the next day. We were both so tired, and he wanted to leave his backpack and computer in the car because we were going to be getting up and back into the car in a few hours. My gut feeling said absolutely not. I made him take his bag and computer.

When we came back down the next morning his car had been broken into.

teaandcookies

The Sleeping Bag

I was driving halfway across the country to Austin, Texas to see a friend for a week. I threw a sleeping bag in my car, just in case. The week went fine and I didn't really use it until my way back home. An ice storm blew in and I had to sleep in my car in a hotel parking lot. All the hotels were full and the roads were getting bad. I was tired enough I would have wrecked my car.

It was below 30 outside and the heat in my car wasn't working. I put on all the clothes I had and slept in that sleeping bag. If it weren't for that bag, I likely would have frozen. I wasn't comfortable but I made it through the night. Several people passed on or were severely injured due to wrecks that night.

jb88373

The Joker

two people riding in car on roadPhoto by Nick Brugioni on Unsplash

Whenever I drive to my wife's grandma's house, I always play this little joke on my wife, acting like I don't remember which street to turn down. I'll either turn a street early or "accidentally" overshoot and pass it up and have to turn around. A few years back, we had moved across the country but were driving back home visiting family for Christmas.

Grandma said we could stay with her, so when we got into town late that night, I pulled the “ol' goof-em-up” joking like I had forgotten the street, turning one block early. Well, I noticed that a car had made the same turn as me, and just for the briefest of moments, I thought, "Hmm, that's strange. I'll keep an eye on them".

So, I made another turn—an awkward one since I was basically doubling-back due to my joke—and the other car made the same turn as well. This definitely caught my attention. I essentially went in a big circle, and the other car followed me every step—right up until I'd completed the circle, at which point they turned and sped off into the night. There was no question; they had been following us, and they drove away when they knew I had noticed it.

I told my wife what was going on, and the next morning, she found a news article about another family nearby being carjacked that night by someone who followed them home, pulled up behind them in their driveway, and pointed a firearm at them. If I hadn't been playing a goof on my wife and made the split-second decision to pay attention to the car behind me, that would have been us.

UltimaGabe

Double Down

I saved a receipt for a campus parking ticket I paid for during my freshman year of college. They do this thing where they double the ticket amount after a month of not paying. I paid it the week I got it, stuffed the receipt in my bag, and forgot about it. Apparently, whoever was in charge of clearing me didn’t, and I was told I had an unpaid, doubled parking ticket on my account after like three months when I tried to settle up tuition for the semester.

I disputed it and wore a smug look on my face as I directly reached in my bag and pulled the receipt out to show them. I mean otherwise, I would’ve had to essentially pay that ticket three times. Something tells me it’s not the first time that’s happened to students there.

Jessiesgirl97

Homeland Insecurity

When I was 15, I was regularly at home by myself since both of my parents worked full time and my brother had moved away to college. One day during the summer, I was just relaxing at home, when all of a sudden, someone knocks on the front door. I get up and check the peephole, and see two guys just standing in the driveway just off the porch.

One of them is wearing a suit, and the other is wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, but facing away from the house like he’s playing lookout. I decide to ignore them, because they’ll go away, right? Well, I was wrong. They continue knocking, knocking, knocking but getting progressively louder and more aggressive.

Finally, I decide to call the sheriff’s department and ask for a non-emergency check since they’re trespassing. My dumb brain decides to yell through the door that I had called, and before I can even realize how dumb it is, the guy starts kicking the front door. I freak out, run back toward the center of the house. That’s when I made a chilling realization. There’s a third guy trying to kick in the back door as well.

At this point, I call 9-1-1 and start screaming about these three guys trying to break into my house. The sheriff’s deputies came over and took care of things. Thank God I listened to my instincts.

NC_DE336

Skateboarder’s Nightmare

In 2006, I had leg pain and it lasted for like four months. I was refusing to get it checked for fear that I would have to stop skateboarding for any amount of time. I was 15 years old. I had a math test I didn’t study for come up one day, and I used it as an excuse to leave and got my leg checked instead. If I hadn’t have done that, I don’t know what would have happened.

That day, I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma (bone cancer). 11 years later I’m still fighting it, but not a day passes where I don’t think how lucky I was to just pop over to the hospital. If I would’ve broken my leg (my femur was getting more brittle every day) the tumor would’ve broken and spread to my lungs—and there’s no way I would be sitting here typing this.

Permalink

Adult Supervision

Back when I was in high school, my mom, dad, kid brother, and I went grocery shopping at Walmart. A teenage girl who was about my age at the time approached us and awkwardly said she thought some sketchy men had been following her around the store. I guess my family doesn't look very threatening, because she asked my dad if he would be willing to walk her out to her car.

She seemed embarrassed and kept saying she was probably overreacting, but my dad was quick to say that he would never want me, his teenage daughter, walking out alone if I suspected someone was following me. My mom, brother, and I stayed with our cart, and my dad went out into the parking lot with the girl. Several minutes later, they both came back inside and we knew something must've happened.

It turns out that an old van was parked and idling right next to her car. When the driver and passenger noticed the girl was with my dad, it sped away. The authorities were called, the girl's parents showed up, and my dad and the girl provided statements to the officer. The officer applauded the girl for going with her gut by asking my dad to walk her out, because based on the evidence, there very well could've been a much scarier ending to the story.

sm127

Always Be Prepared

black flashlightPhoto by amir shamsipur on Unsplash

I went hiking in the middle of the day with a friend and his girlfriend. I brought flashlights for each of us. Well, the hike took a lot longer than expected and my buddy's girlfriend sprained her foot at the end. It took us nearly three times as long to get back and it was dark with relatively rocky terrain. Those flashlights saved our bacon. I can't even fathom how long it would have taken stumbling in the dark otherwise...

EliteYager

Clairvoyant Boss

It was any old day at work, the dinner rush was about to hit, and I was tired. As usual, I was going to go to the dollar store to get some Red Bull. I asked my manager if he wanted to split it because they were 2 for $5, and he said no but as soon as I reached the door, he said wait. I asked him what was wrong and he said I should go later.

He didn't give me a reason and we were pretty relaxed, so I told him to screw off and as soon as I pushed the door outwards, I hear a sound I can't even describe aside from just BREAKING. Whatever it was it was broken, that's all I knew. Turns out an SUV drove straight into that dollar store's front door and their Red Bull fridge. My manager has annoyed me like that a million times, but I'll never forget the time he saved my life.

Perijil

Yank Rescue

I was walking out of a grocery store when I saw this kid about to cross the road. Something came over me and I yanked him back onto the sidewalk. Not even a second later a truck came flying past. He was probably around 7 years old.

incognito_polarbear

Sweeney Todd Lives!

I was walking to the barbershop, and for some reason, everything felt off. I ignored the feeling, but every step I took just made me feel like something wasn't right, so I decided to go grab some food and come back. While I was eating, I saw squad cars and ambulances driving to around where I was before, it turns out there'd been a horrible slaying. Now I always listen to my gut feeling.

beastin01

The Flirt

About 10 years ago when I was married, my wife's best friend kept on flirting with me. I had a really bad feeling about her. So, one time when she was being super aggressive, I recorded it on my cell phone. A few months later, she accused me of saying to her the very things that she said to me. One listen from my wife to my phone completely exonerated me and shut her down completely. She was trying to ruin my marriage because hers was terrible.

Permalink

The Meds

a woman in a white shirt holding a stethoscopePhoto by Alexandr Podvalny on Unsplash

I was in college and was having a bad time. I had started a new anti-depressant a week or so before but was also using sleep aids because without them, I had just been not sleeping at all. So, one night I’m lying in my dorm room after having taken my sleep aids, and sleepy me notices I have oddly shaped spots on my arm... and my legs... and my belly".

What the heck. Why am I a leopard"? Sleepy me thinks. I want to roll over and lay down, but for some reason, the fact that I looked spotty bothered me. So, just to be safe, I stumbled out of bed to talk to the RA. I remember very little of that part. She took me to the hospital, and not a moment too soon. It turns out I am VERY allergic to one of the ingredients in that new medication I was taking.

It just took a few days to build up in my system. By the time we got to the hospital my throat was closing and I could hardly breathe—but because of the sleep aid, this seemed like no big deal to me. I remember like five doctors/nurses around me. They had oxygen on my face and were rubbing my chest trying to help me breathe. I got like seven shots in the hip.

Eventually, they let me rest. When I woke up, they made it very clear that had I gone to sleep in my dorm, I would not have woken up again.

cassity282

Creepy Dad

When I was 10, I went to the beach with my older sister, her friends, and their parents. They had a van that was open in the back (think white creepy van), no seats. The other friends of my sister’s friends took turns sitting on the father's lap when he asked if they wanted to steer the van. He then asked me and my gut said, "No! This man is creepy as heck". The look in his eyes sent shivers down my spine.

Once we got to the beach, I forgot all about the creepy dad and focused on fun. Fast forward several months later, and my sister's friends asked if my sister wanted to sleepover. She refused and my mom and I were baffled as to why she didn't want to go. We kept encouraging her to. Soon she broke down in tears and told us that one night their father had touched her.

The van incident and feelings came flying back to me. I wish I had not forgotten my gut feeling and shared it with my mother and sister before anything happened to my sister. Sometimes I still feel guilty over it. That was over 30 years ago. I don't remember what happened to the guy. I just remember a state vehicle at my house a lot afterwards. No one ever talked about it again and I never asked.

GirlUndefined

Dream Job

I was offered a dream job at almost double my salary in a different city. It was only 2 hours away, but something told me not to take it. I had a number of people tell me I would never have another opportunity like this, and my fear of leaving my hometown was holding me back. Two months after I turned it down, that division of the company was sold, and everyone in that department lost their job. I’d have been stuck in a new city with no friends or family nearby, and no job prospects.

Charleroy26

Bear Bag

I was out solo hiking/camping. It was the end of a long day and I really didn't feel like taking the time to tie up a bear bag—the bag with all your food tied up in a tree far away from your camp. I said, "You know what, just to be safe...I'll go set one up". Cut to the middle of the night, I'm woken up to the sound of a black bear walking 30 feet away from my hammock and heading straight to where I tied up my food.

inveritatisamore

Raised By Wolves? Try Saved By One

I would visit my aunt in Ft. Lauderdale who had three adorable dogs she had rescued from crazy circumstances, and they were all awesome. Chico the hilarious Chihuahua, Patrick the lab mix who absolutely adored me despite coming from an extremely abusive home, and Zach, my grandpa’s favorite wolf/husky/shepherd gentle but very protective giant, who liked to dig holes under the house and lay in the dirt and get his white fur all covered.

Anyway, I LOVED to take them all walking around the neighborhood, usually separately. I was probably around 8 years old. Well one day I happened to be walking Zach. As he was in the little ditch on the side of the road Florida has to collect water, a white utility truck pulled up and the passenger door flew open and this mean creepy guy says, “Get. In". as he throws the car in park.

I froze, and within the span of a second, Zach, who was otherwise not visible from where this guy was standing, LUNGED like a cheetah out of the ditch. The guy hadn’t even reached for me but Zach was snarling like nothing I had ever seen before. The guy pulled off so fast I couldn’t even process what just happened.

I’ll never ever forget it. I didn’t totally grasp what had happened. I know when I got to my aunt’s and told everyone what happened they were sort of panicked about it. But that good boy saved my life. I’ll never forget it and I’ll always be thankful to Zach, the gentle protective giant.

msyodajenkins1

Spidey-Sense

man holding hands of woman walks on concrete roadPhoto by Vladimir Kudinov on Unsplash

Four students of mine won the first prize for a project they did and we all got a free trip to London. We had spent the day sightseeing and were exhausted, so we got ice cream and sat on a bench in a park to relax. A couple of minutes later I notice this couple walk by slowly, staring at us. My Spidey-senses go mental. I do not like these people for some reason.

She walks by and sits on the bench next to ours and he sits on the bench across from hers. They aren't talking, just looking at each other. And that is when I notice her reaching into her pockets. I jump up, grab my students, and run out of the park. My poor students are confused as heck and wondering what is wrong with me, when all of a sudden, we hear screaming.

It turns out she came at a couple walking through the park, trying to rob them. It scares the ever-loving heck out of me, knowing had I not gotten my students out of there, we would have been hurt and robbed.

Penya23

In Case Of Emergency

I had a guest speaker who was in the trade centers when they were hit in 2001. He said that he took the stairs all the way down 74 floors because he didn't trust the elevators. He was in a meeting with 55 other people, and he was one of four to survive. He said as he was heading down the hall to escape, he turned around and noticed everyone cramming in the elevators from the meeting.

Only the people in the meeting that took the stairs made it out alive.

Avlatlon

I Couldn’t Capture What Was Wrong

When I first started dating my ex-boyfriend, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was sending racy photos to someone else. I brushed it off as just being insecure. Two years later, I got a call from his ex-girlfriend. She explained to me that since the start of our relationship, they had been exchanging pics. She also sent me screenshots of him sending racy photos—while we were still together—to a bunch of other girls, even guys.

I wasn’t mad at her or any of the other people that he sent them to. I wasn’t even angry that some of them sent stuff back. Of course, when I confronted him about this, he lied through his teeth, trying to get me to stay. He eventually caved and told me everything, and I will never ignore a gut feeling again.

Practical_Eggplant24

A Shady Character

I was president of a club, and a guy who'd recently joined just set off my alarm bells, but he never did anything wrong. I still couldn't shake the feeling that he was off. I asked my best friend, a pretty burly guy, to just keep an eye on him during a conference we went to. Most of the club (minus me) went to a party at the conference, my best friend kept an eye on the weird guy for most of the night, and ended up stopping him from touching a passed-out girl.

I pretty much always trust my gut feelings now.

Delanium

Dental Defraud

I saved a receipt from my dentist. They charged me, then delayed the procedure I paid for. When I asked for a refund, they changed my entire bill and told me I owed them another $300 when all they actually did was a cleaning and x-rays. I submitted both copies of the invoices to my dental insurance company and told them what happened.

Three weeks later the insurance company resolved the issue with the dentist and I got a refund. Despite the dentist attempting to defraud me, they still regularly call me asking me to come back in. Recently they changed their name and moved a block down the road to try and hide from the plethora of negative reviews on Yelp. They're scam artists, through and through. Thank goodness I saved that receipt, or else I would had been one of their many victims.

1and2halvespeople

Tough Cook

hospital bed near couchPhoto by Martha Dominguez de Gouveia on Unsplash

Last year, on December 1. I had slept for almost a week trying to fight what I thought was the flu. I woke up and had a gut feeling telling me that something wasn't right with me. I called my parents to tell them, and then cabbed myself to the emergency room. The staff took blood and ran tests on me for 8 hours, then discharged me and sent me home.

I got a call the next morning asking me to come back because they found something in my blood: Bacteremia and Endocarditis. I was put on penicillin immediately, for two months. But I kept feeling like there was something wrong. I went for a specialized test on December 21, and woke up to the doctors telling me I need surgery as soon as possible. They’re trying to find a surgical team, earliest is the 24.

I go in and while they’re operating, I have an ascending aortic aneurysm and it caused an aortic dissection. They’re able to fix it. I’ve got a synthetic valve in there now. But that's not even the scariest part: I work in a restaurant kitchen, just before the start of the holiday season. Normally, cooks will tough it out and just work. Most think they'll get better soon.

I’m told that if I had done that, I more than likely wouldn't have made it before my birthday and they would have found out about the aneurysm during the autopsy. That still sends freaking chills down my spine.

g_tan

Defying Evil

I worked downtown Houston for 9-1-1 on the overnight shift. On a break I went out to my car. While sitting in there a homeless guy came and knocked on my window, which wasn't at all unusual. He rolled his fingers like “roll down your window". I cannot explain what came over me but all of a sudden, my hair stood on end and I was flooded with the strangest feeling.

I felt fight or flight come over me. I didn't know where it came from, didn't even feel like my voice, but I yelled no! And I was pointing my finger at him. I sat there shaking all over, but his face was seared into my mind. So, a few days later on my day off was watching the news and the SAME homeless dude had been detained that morning because he was the suspect for this horrific case that they had been searching for.

There had been a string of strangulations of mostly homeless women downtown. I could not believe it when his mugshot popped up on my TV. I just went cold. I'm so grateful though for what I assume was my intuition or guardian angel alerting me to danger.

whineybubbles

The Station Wagon

I was 15 and my mom dropped me off at McDonald’s to get breakfast while she went across the street to get Starbucks. It was a shopping mall in suburbia and we were on the way to pick up a new kitten a few hours away. Instead of walking the 100 yards to my mom, I sat outside waiting for her to pick me up. Teenagers, I guess.

As I’m standing there a guy in an old station wagon with two kids in the back starts talking to me. He asks me where I’m going and I say whatever town it was. He says he’s going there too with his kids and asks if I want to come. I tell him no, that my mom is across the street and he comes closer. My gut is saying something is off. I see a random woman walk out of Starbucks and I point to her and say that’s my mom right there. He freaked out and left really quick. I still remember those two kids in the backseat. They looked so off. I wonder to this day if they are okay.

landronious

Wear Your Seatbelt

My friends and I were always trash-talking another friend because he would never wear his seatbelt while driving. One night, he and another friend drove me home. it was pretty late and we were all tired, and when they dropped me off, I told him, "Use the freaking seatbelt, you idiot". The next day, around lunchtime, I got a call that made my blood run cold.

My two friends had been in a car accident. The idiot fell asleep while driving my other friend's car. They hit a parked car, which hit the car in front of it and got stuck into a wall. The parked car acted as a ramp for their car, and they flipped over—sliding like 20 meters while upside down. For some reason, the idiot had his seatbelt on for the first time ever and he didn't get injured.

Both of them crawled outside the car without a single scratch. If I'm not wrong my friend in the passenger seat broke his finger. My friend learned his lesson and his seatbelt is always on now, even when he's in the passenger seat.

yellowrubberduck3

Final Destination

I was driving on the highway headed back to college and I see a flatbed semi coming in the opposite direction that looked to be carrying railroad ties—big square logs, basically. I think to myself, "Huh, it sure would be bad if one of those things fell off". I hold my gaze on the semi and you can guess what immediately fell off and started tumbling right down the center of my lane...

I'm convinced I wouldn't have been able to react to it properly if I hadn't JUST thought of that exact circumstance.

JustTheBigBaby

Bloody Trail

yellow and white van on road during daytimePhoto by Ian Taylor on Unsplash

Me and my boyfriend came back at like 2 am from a night out. We had both been drinking and stumbled into the hallway to the elevator when we see drops of something on the floor—and when I realized what it was, I felt ice in my veins. It definitely was blood. Fresh and wet. The elevator button and door were covered in bloody hand prints as well.

My boyfriend called the elevator, pushing me aside not knowing what would be in it. Luckily there was nothing except for a puddle of blood. The elevator came from the fifth floor. So, we went investigating. The trail of blood ended at a door with huge hand smears of blood on the door. It took all our courage to ring. But I am so glad we did.

An elderly man opened the door. He looked like straight out of a horror movie covered in blood from head to toe. His grey sweater was red. His hair was wet. His shoes were filled with blood. We immediately sobered up. I called an ambulance which arrived in two minutes. My boyfriend went inside the flat helping the man sit down. There was so much blood, I had never seen anything like that in my life.

We didn't know what happened to him until we met him properly for the first time. He recognized my boyfriend’s glasses. He was buzzed, wanted to ride his bike home, crashed somehow, and got a huge cut on his head. He takes heart medicine which thins his blood that's why he lost so much. If we wouldn't have rung the doorbell, he wouldn't have made it. He actually gave us money and a super expensive bottle of champagne to thank us for investigating and saving his life.

ohiomamb0

Photo Evidence

When I was 12, my family and I went to Sam's Club. Being a little jerk, I decided that I didn't want to walk with my family, so I wandered around looking at clothes and books. An employee kept watching me like staring really bad. I figured he thought I was going to take something, so I smiled at him so he knew I wasn't Bad™. He smiled back.

He kept checking me out though, and asked me how old I was. We talked about my favorite books and video games. I remember being uncomfortable but couldn't figure out why, because he was super nice to me. I remember wondering if he was flirting with me, but reasoned that he couldn't be, because I'm a boy. Really weird conclusion to come to, but I was 12.

I genuinely thought he was just interested in my favorite video games. The conversation quieted down and I decided I needed to pee, so I went into the bathroom. Less than ten seconds later and the restroom door opens. The guy stands in front of my stall, even though there were empty ones. I recognized the guy's shoes as the employee's.

I stand there for a couple minutes, done, but really confused and kind of scared. I thought he followed me because he thought I was shoplifting. What happened next was so disturbing it’s impossible to forget. Then the guy held a camera over the stall door and took a picture of me. Like really quick, one or two pictures of me just standing there looking up at the camera. I had all of my clothes on so he was just taking a picture of me in the bathroom.

Someone else came in and he immediately went to the sink and started washing his hands like he'd just finished using the bathroom. Then he left. It was really creepy. I didn't tell my mom anything except that "the Sam's Club guy thinks I'm shoplifting". And she laughed. I realized way later that he was a total creep.

offmechesttossaway

Just In Time

My wife called me while I was at work just to say she was home from her night shift and planning to go to bed. She had worked the night shift for years and never called me just to say she was home and going to bed before. She also sounded weirdly detached on the call. I asked her if she was okay, she said yes—she just felt really sleepy.

I got a weird feeling and told her I was going to leave work and come home. She told me I didn’t need to, I said okay...and then I left work and rushed home anyway. I found a suicide note taped to the garage door. I got to her in time, rushed her to the ER, and got her the help she needed. This was about five months ago, and she is so much better now.

PRGuyHere

Barking Mad

When I was very visibly pregnant, I ran to the grocery store one evening. For some random reason, I took my dog with me. She wasn't big or intimidating, all black but short like a corgi and super sweet. She never growled at anybody. I guess I just thought she would enjoy the car trip, not something I usually did for a quick grocery run.

Anyways, I bought my groceries and noticed nothing unusual in the store. It was just after dusk and I rolled the cart full of groceries out to the car. As I walked out, I noticed a man sitting in the driver's seat of a car facing my vehicle, but one parking lane over. He looked as though he was waiting for someone, but something about it creeped me out.

To this day, I can't tell you what about him creeped me out specifically. I just unlocked the back of my Jeep and started putting my grocery bags in. I hear a car door and turn to see he is out of the car and asking if I need help. I said no thank you and just kept going, making sure to not turn my back to him.

But he keeps coming towards my car saying, "Are you sure? I can help". I keep saying no thanks, but he keeps coming. At this point, I am trying to check if anyone else is in the lot and even though it's full of cars, no one else is out there. He is almost at the back of my car and my sweet doggy, in what seemed instantly, left her spot on the front passenger seat and was over the back seat and standing on the back bumper, teeth bared and growling at this guy.

Even though it seemed like only a half beat, it seemed like he considered whether this short dog was a serious threat or not. He held up his hands and said "nevermind" and walked away back to his vehicle. I drove home with no trouble and told hubby what happened and gave my doggy extra treats and snuggles.

The rational part of my brain says it was probably nothing, but what if my dog hadn't been there?! He clearly had no regard for my no thanks answers. It still creeps me out, 15 years later.

eczblack

An Electric Feeling

When my science teacher was a teenager, she was standing near some lights at a pedestrian crossing with her and her friend. Very chill, but out of nowhere, she had this gut feeling that both of them had to move. They moved just a couple of meters away, and the next moment a car had hit another car, which then hit one of the street electricity utility poles. It fell and exploded exactly where they were standing, just a moment ago.

That gut feeling of moving away saved both of their lives.

sharonshi_

There's A Bad Co-Worker Then There's This

white van on gray asphalt road during daytimePhoto by Andrew Winkler on Unsplash

A delivery driver I used to work with pointed a gun at my head as I was bending down to get something from the cooler I was working near. I cracked a joke about him and when I stood up, I felt it at my temple. He started laughing and I laughed it off too, got him his order as soon as possible, and when he left, I went home and called my boss, and didn’t go back until he was fired.

After a few years after the incident, he was involved in a horrifying crime where he took both his ex-wife’s life and his own soon after.

KyleRichXV

A Fuzzy Black Sock

I was about to put a new load of laundry into my washing machine in the dark, when I saw what looked to be a large sock still in the washing machine. I put my hand halfway into the washing machine then pulled my hand back up suddenly. I thought “Huh, I usually don't leave things in my washing machine". I’m so glad I stopped in my tracks. I turned on the light, and it was a bat sitting in there...

I never touched him, I just put him in some Tupperware and brought him outside. Left the container open with a bag of Doritos and he was gone in the morning.

mikechief411

Bad Feeling

I worked with this guy who was a hard partier. He seemed pretty cool when we were working, so when he mentioned a band that I liked was playing at a little country bar right outside of town, I agreed to go with him. We had a blast and I ended up wasted. He kept my drinks flowing all night which was fun for me because I was only 19.

We get back into town and he parks behind a bar that had a strict ID policy. He says he'll be right back. At this point, I'm not feeling good at all. Not inebriated sick, but something different. I got out and made my way to my usual bar hangout across the street. A regular noticed me and later said that I didn't look right.

He got a number for my friend from the phone book and called him to come get me. The last thing I remember was the guy came in looking for me and the guy helping me refused to let him take me home. He left pretty quickly. I remember nothing else until I woke up the next day tucked in on my friend’s couch. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

I’m pretty sure the original guy roofied me and my instincts kicked in before he could accomplish anything. I avoided him like the plague at work after that. The good thing was, the guy that helped me at the bar ended up becoming one of my best friends.

Permalink

Sixth Sense

My boyfriend and I were visiting friends for a week in Phoenix. We girls were lounging at the pool while the guys were flexing their grilling skills. My boyfriend paused a moment, stood very still then told me to go get dressed, we had to go. Right now. I wanted to fuss but something told me not to. We drove straight through to San Antonio right to his parents very rural house (this was before cell phones and they didn’t have a landline within a half-mile).

Seconds before we arrived, his little sister had jumped off of a rain barrel and landed on a metal spike that went straight up through her foot and into her leg. His dad was at work so there was no car available there. She was bleeding like crazy and his mother had just walked out and found her. I don’t know what spoke to him in Phoenix, but it would have been all bad if we had not arrived exactly when we did.

absolutelyrightnow

For Good Measure

When I was 10, I was learning violin from an instructor at my local music shop. I got the weirdest feeling from him even though he didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. I wanted to vomit every time I looked at him, especially his hands. After four lessons I told my parents that I had a terrible feeling about him and I never wanted to go back.

Luckily, they listened and didn’t make me ever go to him again. A few years later, we learned the awful truth. I was right to be scared. He was detained for assaulting multiple students. I have no idea how I knew something was off. He never did or said anything but I just felt it.

beefblockage

Learning about the death of a well-known figure can sometimes feel as if we lost a friend or family member.

Even if we never met them or knew them personally, their work may have touched us in such a way that it feels as if part of us died with them.

This can be even more poignant if they died young and/or under tragic circumstances.

Particularly if the cause of their death was never fully explained or discovered and continues to be a mystery to this very day.

Redditor ZellaphantBooks2 was curious to hear stories of deaths or disappearances that remain a mystery (or possibly too easily explained), leading them to ask:

"What celebrity death seems a bit too suspicious?"

Alive And Well... But Nowhere To Be Found?

"Shelly Miscavige , wife of Scientology leader David Miscavige."

"Disappeared 2013 after vocally coming out against the practices of Scientology."

"Lawyers for the cult - I mean religion - still maintain she is alive and living a private life devoted to Scientology."

"Right."- shineymike91

"Not a 'murder' or 'death' and not really a 'celebrity' but... WHERE is Shelly Miscavage?"- hopeandnonthings

Supposedly A Robbery, But Maybe Not So Simple?

"Haing Ngor."

"Oscar and Golden Globe winner for 'The Killing Fields'."

"Cambodian and former prisoner of the Khmer Rouge."

"Tortured and imprisoned in Cambodia."

"Murdered outside his home in Los Angeles."

"His family thinks it was revenge from Cambodia for his outspoken support for human rights and bringing people to justice in Cambodia."- Lothar_28

Wrong Place, Wrong Time?

"Sridevi."

"She’s a Bollywood actress who died in Dubai from accidental drowning in a bathtub, the day after a wedding where she was in perfect health and she had a huge life insurance which would pay only if she dies in Dubai."- CurlyBrownHair08

The World May Never Know...

"Brian Jones of The Rolling Stones died under suspicious circumstances while swimming."

"The person he was swimming with (a contractor working on his house who Jones had accused of stealing from him) supposedly confessed on his deathbed to killing Jones."- Laughacy

Without A Trace

"Jill Dando."

"She was a British TV presenter, news reader and journalist."

"She was shot on her front door step and it's never been solved."- TheKnightsTippler

Bulldozer Accident?

"In my hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, there was a sculptor and entrepreneur by the name of Bob Cassilly."

"His works, whimsical and larger than life, are all over the city."

"The crown jewel of all this is the wacky home of repurposed industrial materials into a crazy sort of playground, the popular City Museum."

"He was a notoriously driven worker, and in 2011 he died in an apparent bulldozer accident working on a new outdoor art playground project he called Cementland."

"His death was even investigated, but again ruled accidental, despite one medical expert saying he had been beaten and the bulldozer accident was staged."

"Not a true celebrity, but a local legend here to be sure, and a person who left an indelible mark on this town."- ImaginaryMastadon

Did She Know Too Much?

"Dorothy Kilgallen, reporter and TV personality."

"Died under mysterious circumstances while investigating Kennedy's assassination."- WoolaTheCalot

"Dorothy Kilgallen."

"She was an investigative journalist and game show panelist on What’s My Line?"

"She was digging into JFK when she died of an overdose."

"Her manuscript on JFK was taken by the govt and will never see the light of day."- Risky-Potato

Dealing With Villains On Screen And Off Screen

"George Reeves, the guy who played Superman in the 50s."

"There were a bunch of people in his house the night he died, and a lot of conflicting stories, also he was having an affair with a studio exec's who was in attendance with his husband that night.'

"Also forensics disagree with the testimony of the witnesses."

"It's all a clusterf*ck."- jorsiem

Something Doesn't Add Up...

"This might be stretching the definition of 'celebrity' but Rudolf Diesel, inventor of the diesel engine (and kind of a big deal in his day) died under really suspicious circumstances."

"On September 29th, 1913 Diesel boarded a ship in Antwerp, Belgium on his way to a business meeting in London."

"He never arrived."

"His bed was never slept in, his shirts remained unpacked and his pocket watch was open on the night stand."

"The crew found his hat and overcoat neatly folded by the aft railing of the ship."

"The last entry in his diary was simply a cross on the day of the 29th."

"About 10 days later they found a body in the channel that was eventually IDed as Diesel."

"Pretty straightforward, right?"

'The thing is, he gave his wife a bag when he left with instructions to open it upon his death."

"It contained 20,000 Marks (about $120,000) the whole of the Diesel's bank accounts withdrawn as cash."

"Diesel had recently declined to sell his patents exclusively to the German government and was on his way to London to meet with representatives of the Consolidated Diesel company and the British Royal Navy."

"After his death, no memorial or tomb was built until 1957, when the founder of Japan's Yanmar Diesel company funded the building of a memorial garden for him."- weirdoldhobo1978

Might Want Another Source Than The Kremlin...

"Don't know if he qualifies as a celebrity but Yuri Gagarin, Russian cosmonaut and the first man in space."

"After the kremlin sent one of his friends to certain death on an extremely unprepared rocket ship, in a desperate attempt to catch up with USA's progress, Yuri, a Russian hero and one of the most popular figures at the time, criticized the kremlin and blamed them for the death of his friend."

"Not too long after, he died when he allegedly lost control of his Mig-15."

"The official explanation given by the Kremlin is full of holes and to this day no one really knows what happened but, it seems obvious to some, that whatever caused his crash, the kremlin was responsible for it."- Danesho_PT

It's sad that all these poor people died before their time.

Even sadder if the reasons behind their death were, in fact, far more sinister than anyone might realize.


Fast Firings: The Quickest Ways Employees Have Gotten Canned
Photo by Roth Melinda

How to lose a job in 10 seconds.

Now, that sounds like a fun show to watch.

It is astonishing how fast people can lose their jobs.

Some people really need to learn how to actually exist at a job.

You'd think it'd be simple... but no.

Redditor Quintowne wanted to hear about all of the ways some employees have been let go, so they asked:

"What is the fastest way you've seen someone get fired?"

With many years in food service under my belt, I've had more co-workers than Mars, Incorporated has made M&M's.

So many were gone by the end of shift one.

Secrets

Car Police GIF by BabylonBeeGiphy

"New person got access to the medical records system. Week 2 - Looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was walked out and gone the second week."

JenntheGreat13

Okay. Bye.

"My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: 'I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want, I won’t do them.'"

"Boss says 'Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift, goodbye!'"

Selios2112

Sticky Fingers

"First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can't keep up, can barely use a tape gun, and decides it's time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss's lunch, he stole the guy's meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 minutes later and wanted to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denied it. I just looked at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man."

BigNotGay420

He Was Warned

"Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn't answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. The next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down."

Beestung

"Oh Gawd, just reading the word voodoo brought out a flash of memories I buried."

calamnet2

Oh Willy

wet willy martial arts GIFGiphy

"First day on the job, gave another coworker a wet-willy. Sh*t you not."

themoistdonut

I have never understood this wet willy thing.

Completely disgusting.

Who even came up with it?

Loopholes

Angry Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register."

DudebroggieHouser

On the Spot

"Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR--and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot."

walkingknight

"I did customer support at a software company that sold to other businesses, and every one of us had one customer that we hated a hell of a lot more than any other. The guy who sat next to me hated Amway."

MajorNoodles

"A high school friend's dad offered me a job with his company after I graduated, it was 'Do the interview and then go to work.' The interview consisted of a five-minute spiel about the company and a 45-minute Amway sales pitch with the understanding that if I didn't agree to sell Amway for him, I wouldn't get the job. Dad called me a couple of days later wondering to know why I didn't take the job. I started to work at about the same time the former interviewer stopped working there."

m945050

$100

"Half an hour. Working in Arby's, a new girl shows up. They run her through how to work the cash register on a few dummy orders. She takes a real order or two and then it gets slow. She asked to duck out for a minute to smoke and never came back. Register ended up being $100 short that day."

AaronKMartinez

"Always smart to rob a place after giving them your name and address."

Bobby_Newpooort

Hangover

"The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside. The guy was fast asleep, under his desk. He was gone before you could say hangover."

davisherm

The Eagle

"I was on a new team hired for corporate sales. They trained us as a group. We were given the task of creating a presentation with graphs and charts to show how we presented to a group and given pointers on how to improve. One guy shows up an hour late, waltzes in, and says he’s tired from the drive-in and says he needs a coffee before settling in. We are in suit and tie, and he’s wearing a dress shirt with a huge eagle on the front and jeans."

"He comes back a few minutes later, and when asked to present, he says he didn’t prepare anything, but he’s happy to answer any questions they may have about presentations. We all looked at each other in disbelief. Fired on the spot by the Manager. I heard that they asked him to return his laptop, and he stiffed them for months before they sent a repo man to his door to pick it up."

WildBillyBoy33

Buh-Bye

jumping episode 11 GIFGiphy

"A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!"

Useful_Exchange3583

"When I was in middle and high school they hired students with driver's licenses to drive the busses. This was in the 80's."

Calypso_gypsie

My school bus drivers were all nuts.

I always thanked GOD when I got home in one piece.

These Petty Revenges Had Incredibly Satisfying Pay-Offs
Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Petty vengeance may be as simple and relatively harmless as switching the salt and sugar before someone puts it in their coffee, or hiding around a corner and spooking them when they walk by. Sometimes petty vengeance goes farther, though — maybe too far. These are stories from internet denizens all around the world describing the time they got their petty vengeance. Let’s hope none of them went too far trying to get even!

We Don’t Know Her

green door beside yellow doorPhoto by Christian Stahl on Unsplash

We live in an apartment block, and occasionally have new people move in and out. Yesterday we encountered a new resident, a short red-haired lady who, through dwarfism and food, manages to be about as wide as she is tall. My boyfriend greeted her with a simple “Hello". He also tried to say “welcome” but she cut him off with, “Shut up, I don’t know you". Okay, not the sociable type, neither are we, best not get friendly then!

Today when returning from grocery shopping we found her trying to pick the lock with what looks like a piece of a paperclip because you know, that’s going to work. She’s apparently been at it a while because before we could open the door with our key, a patrol car stopped and an officer called out to her. The officer asked her why she was breaking in, to which she responded she lived here. She turned to us and said, “They know me".

My boyfriend smiled and said, “I don’t know you". We entered the building after the officer asked us to confirm, and my boyfriend repeated: “We don’t know her". Can’t wait to have more contact with her…

Shileka

Laundry Wars

I used to be kind of an idiot. I’ve really mellowed out since. But sometime around 2001-2002, I had an incident in my university dorm laundry room. Anyway, I’m a freshman living in the dorms, it’s the weekend, and I’m doing laundry. We had an unwritten rule in the dorm laundry room: if you don’t attend to your laundry, it’s totally cool for someone to pull it out and throw it on the table (wet or dry). If you don’t like it, just promptly attend to your laundry when the washer or dryer turns off.

I don’t like people touching my laundry, so I always set an alarm to be there when it’s done (on my digital watch, not my phone!). I wash my clothes, throw them in the dryer, and set my timer. Soon after, my watch goes off and I walk back to the laundry room only to find my dryer load completely wet and on the table. Oh heck no! Someone pulled my stuff from the dryer, only to dump it out and dry their stuff for free.

Well, good news: I had more quarters, so I could dry my stuff just fine. Actually, I had enough quarters for my anonymous friend too — why didn’t they just ask? So I grab their clothes and throw them in an open washing machine with six of my spare quarters. Actually, wait — I can drop another quarter in for a heavy cycle, which entitles you to an additional rinse and spin! I happen to have another quarter, so I do. The heavy cycle takes over an hour and a half to complete.

Now’s a good time to mention a nice feature the washing machines had that the dryers didn’t: they locked while in operation. The homie would have been stuck for about 100 minutes waiting for another chance to dry their clothes. I hope they made better choices the second time. I was kind of a petty jerk as a baseline, and I look back with a bit of a shock that I didn’t dump in some bleach or turn the water hot.

I’m glad I’ve outgrown that kind of thing, but I look back with some pleasure at that little guy standing up to some random inconsiderate person.

nothingdoing

Thrown Under The Bus

I was at a subway station a couple of days ago getting back from Uni. As I got off the subway to line up and go up the escalators, this middle-aged lady nudged me out of the way just as I got on to the steps, and made me trip over and fumble my bag. She stared at me and went on her way. I was right behind her going up, and she probably saved like 0.01 seconds getting on the escalator before me.

As we made our way to the exit and I got up to the door frame, she went out of her way to nudge past me again. She gave me another stare as she went through the exit and stood there looking at me like she couldn’t believe I tried to go first or something. There’s a bus terminal that connects to the subway on the street level, and we ended up waiting at the same stop. She was the first in line, and I was right behind her.

When the bus finally arrived, she really took her time fumbling through her purse, talking on her phone, and looking for her bus card. As she was searching for her card, she ended up dropping it right at the tip of my boot. She was still busy talking on the phone while searching through her wallet. I thought about it for a second and decided to lightly slide her card underneath the bus with my foot.

Eventually, she realized that she might have dropped her card, so she packed her wallet back in her purse, hung up the phone and looked around for her card. As she looked, she began getting increasingly worried, scanning everywhere for where she could have dropped it. I nudged her out of the way, gave her a stare, and made my way on to the bus.

I sat happily on one of the seats. I saw her flustered and panicked, as the next bus was coming in half an hour. The bus started to depart, and I opened the window and told her with glee, “Maybe you should check under the bus!” I watched her for as long as I could until she was out of sight, and enjoyed the rest of my commute home.

iamafrenchfurry

Punished For Coming In Early

I work in an office with flexible hours. We can start anytime from 8 am to 9:30 am. I’m always in the office at 8:15 am. Usually, if work comes in urgently in the morning, my supervisor gives it to me to complete since I’m one of the few in the team presently in the office. Well, yesterday I came into the office at my usual time and one of my colleagues was working on an urgent task given to him at 8 am. He had to pause the task for 20 minutes so my supervisor told me to complete it while he’s away from the office. I couldn’t even have my breakfast or even drink water because of how urgent this task was.

I was still working on it when he came back. He asked “how are you going with the task?” and I explained that I’m still working on it and that I found a few mistakes and showed it to him. He puts his hands up in the air and says, “Nope. Not my responsibility anymore” and walks off. Really? I was livid. But this needed to be done and I have no time for drama.

I finished work 5:30 pm that day. Before I left, my supervisor told me that she got a HUGE workload given to her and that she will need to give it to someone urgently in the morning to complete. I knew that my colleague would be in the office at 8 am again. Guess who is walking in the office at 9:15 am today with a cup of fresh coffee and breakfast?

throwaway47283

A Bus Seat Built For Two

So I’m on the way home from the shops and I decide to take the bus. Really, it’s only about three stops away and I should probably walk, but it’s the middle of Australian summer, I’m wearing thongs, my bags are heavy and, most significantly, I’m lazy. So I jump on the bus home and it’s pretty full. No problem — as I said, only going three stops, not far, more than happy to stand. I’m shuffling through the aisle past other standing people though when suddenly, about halfway down, I see it. A middle-aged woman hogging a whole seat to herself.

Now I catch public transport every day and let me tell ya if you take up a whole two-person seat by yourself when other folks are standing, mate, that’s 5 years gulag in my book. Not only is this woman not sharing the seat, but she’s also moved herself to the aisle side so as to discourage anyone else from sitting down. Not on my watch.

Now previously I had been perfectly content to stand, but that’s all over now. I walk on over to this woman, look her straight in the eyes and with my nicest young man voice, broad smile and most unwavering gaze ask if I can please sit there. She glares daggers at me but relents — but not by shuffling over though. Instead, she stands in place with a huff and turns her shoulder a few centimeters to the right to indicate that yeah, there’s a seat, but if I want it I can squeeze past.

I am not in the least bit dissuaded. Happily, I squeeze past the standing woman and gosh, well I sure am a big clumsy boy carrying some bulky shopping aren’t I, and there is just not a lot of room between these seats. It takes me a few seconds to shuffle my lumbering butt all the way in, by which time the lady’s taken a few whacks of the old green bag and my grocery-laden backpack, not to mention been stumbled over once or twice by my big ol’ un-coordinated feet (it’s so hard, walking in thongs).

I sit down in contented silence, she lowers her huffing self down next to me, I spread out and brush up a little with my hairy legs, she fixes me with a glare. We sit in silence for two minutes. And then, wouldn’t you know it, my stop arrives and this woman is forced to get to her feet once more so we can do the whole dance again on the way out. I hope you enjoyed your personal space, witch. Next time just shove over.

SirPterodactyl

Yearbook Humiliation

boy in green sweater writing on white paperPhoto by CDC on Unsplash

So flashback to grade 1 and little ol’ me was happy being a little child. Until this girl in my class, let’s call her Mary, uninvited me to her birthday party so she could invite someone else. I was such a sad little nugget after that! Anyways, for the next 10 years, Mary and I end up going to the same schools since we lived in the same school district. In elementary and middle school she would torment me and anyone not in the “in” crowd, but would get away with it because her dad was a teacher. Needless to say, Mary was not in my good books.

A few years later, it’s grade 9 and I am part of my middle school’s yearbook class, where we got to design and create the yearbook from photos taken at school events. One of the pages that we need to create was a talent show page. Mary happened to participate in the talent show doing a singing performance. I saw an opportunity. I browsed through the photos of Mary singing at the talent show and found the one where her face was the most gloriously contorted and screwed up, as she was singing her high note.

I blew that photo way up and placed it in the middle of the page, carefully choosing background colors that wouldn’t take too much attention away from that moment in time where her visage was disheveled and distorted. And that’s how we published the yearbook. I’m 21 now and almost have an undergrad degree, and I still think back to that glorious moment and pat myself on the back. I bought a copy of that yearbook so I will always have that revenge as a treasured memory.

sav575757

I’m Rubber, You’re Glue

Years ago I was working for a company where I had an office and the neighboring department was all open plan. We shared coffee facilities so I would often speak to the people in this department over a coffee. There was one idiot called Trevor in that department who would only talk to people on his desk phone on a conference call — every conversation. Needless to say, the rest of the department were annoyed with this loud and obnoxious person screaming on the blower.

As a senior guy, I casually raised this with Trevor. He responded by saying “you can go and get [bleeped]!” Now, as he was in a different department I had no authority over him and his boss was a moron too so I would have got a similar response. After Trevor went home, I went to his desk and accidentally dropped some glue into the microphone on his phone. The next day it was set rock hard.

Of course, the phone rang and he answered it on a conference call, but of course, the person couldn’t hear him. He started screaming into the mic, but they still couldn’t hear him. They would then hang up and try again. This went on for a couple of calls until he answered the phone in the manner appropriate for the office.

AndyBrown65

Crayons For The Mature Adult

I’m a server at Denny’s. Today I had a grown woman come in with her two little kids and ask for a booth. I cleaned one and sat her down. She then looks at me points at a booth across the restaurant and says she wants that one instead. Okay, whatever. I move her. I sit her down and seat someone at the booth she was in originally.

Not 2 minutes later she comes up to me and asks for the other booth back because “I was there first and it’s nicer". Yeah, I know lady: that’s why I sat you there. I tell her I can’t make other customers move and she can keep the one she’s in now or wait until a new one opens. She then says, “No, I want that one. I was there first they have to move". I told her, ” I’m sorry I can’t do that".

She asks for the manager. I get him and explain the situation. He then tells her exactly what I said. She sits down crosses her arm and pouts like a child. I proceeded to walk to her table with a huge smile on my face and hand her 3 children’s menus. I looked her in the eyes and asked what color crayon she wanted. She goes, “I’m an adult!” I gave her green and walked away.

She walked out, but the satisfaction of not getting in trouble or having to serve her was worth it.

sunnygamez

Petty Voicemails

Last year some stupid for-profit education company kept leaving me messages for some person I’d never heard of. My outbound message is literally just, “You’ve reached John Doe, please leave a message". And they’d start in with, “This message is for Jessie Harrison” or whatever name it was. I had blocked the number from ringing long ago, but I was starting to get sick of them leaving my voicemails too. I could have unblocked the number, but it seemed like a lot more fun to just change my voicemail message just for them (a pretty handy feature of Google Voice).

I recorded a 3-minute message (the maximum) where I repeated my name many times and implored them to actually freaking listen before they leave a voicemail. They called once more after I set that message… and never again. I guess they took the hint that I was just going to keep wasting their time or something.

bassgoonist

Sign Your Work

My ex cheated on me while I was deployed. She wound up getting engaged to the guy. Before I changed duty stations, she reached out to say goodbye. We hooked up. While she was asleep, I found his underwear drawer and left a note that said, “Cheaters cheat. By the way, I didn’t use protection". I signed it. Hard not to think fondly on that memory…

Dilinial

“I’ll Just Be A Few Minutes…”

cars parked on parking lot during daytimePhoto by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

So years ago I delivered jugs of water to homes and offices. My work truck was fairly big probably about 35ish feet long. I had a building I delivered to that had 8-10 stops in it and was one of the few places that had a loading bay for delivery vehicles. This bay was wide enough for 2 large trucks side by side and long enough for my truck to mostly fit with a bit of the cab sticking out in the alleyway (not so far as to block traffic).

On the other side of the alley was another building, and the dumpsters for said building. These dumpsters were in a position that it could be a little tight to get into the dock but it was doable. This day I pull up and see a small courier car (size of a Honda civic) pull into the bay and stop right at the entrance. This position is just enough that I cant get the angle I need to be able to nose up to the dumpsters and back into the open spot in the loading bay. If I tried I’d likely hit the car.

Luckily for me, the driver was just getting out of the car. So I politely asked if she could back up a couple of feet so I could get into the dock. Her: I’m only going to be a few minutes… Me: Yes but if you take 5 seconds, we can both do what we need to do… Her: I’ll be a few minutes… Then she just walks into the building.

So I’m kinda stunned at this point. I’ve been in the delivery industry for almost a decade most other drivers get that it’s a tough job and we can all do what we need to do and there’s kinda an unwritten code even amongst competitors. So I maneuver my truck nice and tight to the building so as not to block the alleyway while parking perpendicular to the loading dock entrance and blocking her car in.

I start loading the first of 2 or 3 cartloads into the building. She comes out and sees my truck… Her: Well isn’t this cute… You need to move… Me: I’ll only be a few minutes. Her: I need to go. Move your truck now… By this time my cart is loaded and I tell her, “It’s okay, I’ll only be a few minutes". And I walk into the building.

christhewelder75

Interrupting The Game

I have large trees in my yard. My neighbor next door blows all the leaves into my yard with his lawnmower. He says they’re my leaves from my tree. In doing so, he also leaves all of his grass clippings mixed in with the leaves. I blew them back; he called law enforcement. This happened several times.

His TV cable is buried in my yard. It runs from a pole underground through ten feet of my yard. During the local football game, I took a shovel and jumped on it. He lost TV and Wi-fi for two days. The cable company ran a new line. It messed up my yard a bit, but I know where it is. Just in case.

Skipadedoda

More Pain Than Intended

My mother had really bad asthma and allergies and made us kids rake up the leaves. This was not an easy task. They would get several feet deep if we didn’t do it often enough. One day we raked the whole yard into these giant piles for the city to come pick up. This took several hours. The next morning, they were scattered all over. We raked them again over several more hours and it happened again. Apparently, the neighborhood jerk kid was knocking them over just to be a jerk.

The next time, we made a super huge pile around the fire hydrant hoping he’d kick them and hurt his foot. Nope, this time he decided to do a run and jump. I watched it peeking through the blinds. He ended up breaking several bones. I didn’t even feel bad.

kperkins1982

Invincible Mailbox

When I was a kid, our mailbox got taken out like once a month. Finally, after the 10th mailbox and post, my dad was fed up. So he got an eight-foot I-beam and buried it four feet down and filled in the hole with Quickrete. Next time it got hit, the jerk wrapped his car around it. Like the mailbox/pole was sticking out of the middle of his car.

After that, I don’t think the mailbox was ever hit again.

DylanCO

“Broken” TV

My brother-in-law did something to irritate my wife back when they were in high school. My wife turned off the TV, wrote “broken” on a piece of paper taped to the TV, shut off the power strip, and flipped the batteries around in the remote. It took my brother-in-law several days to figure it out.

SteevyT

It’s Mine, Apparently

plates on tablePhoto by Kadarius Seegars on Unsplash

I went to a restaurant for brunch. Upon receiving my bill I noticed a $3 charge for table linen. As I was leaving I folded up the tablecloth. The waiter said, “What are you doing?” I said, “I paid for it, I’m taking it home". And I did.

pierced7

It Smells Your Fear

A girl in high school did something to annoy me. I can’t even remember what it was. She made it well-known to everyone that she was terrified of Furbys. So I brought one to school, found people in all of her classes, and passed it along between them so that it followed her all day. She ended up having a panic attack; I almost felt bad.

heatherGOwhoa

The Worst Smell!

I know a girl that broke up with her idiot boyfriend and moved out. But before she left she hid potatoes all over his house where he couldn’t find them, so that when they rot months and months later he will never get rid of the smell.

rileyharp88

Charitable Vengeance

I’m a hairstylist and I got fired from a salon job over some nepotistic hogwash. Luckily, I had about 60 free haircut cards lying around my apartment. So I donated them all to a charity that helps recent parolees get back on their feet. On one hand, it’s nice to help people. On the other, it’s also nice to know that they’ll probably use the free haircut card, never come back, and not tip the stylists.

omgginalol

Pettiness, Delivered

My neighbor flipped out on me because my dog was sniffing her lawn and yelled, “Get your dog off my lawn! Don’t let him poop on my lawn!” It really got to me so I ordered 500 boxes from USPS to her house every two weeks for a few months (you can order up to 500 of any size for free). I also mixed five bullion cubes for chicken broth (usually you use like two or three for a large thing of soup) into a water bottle with a hole in the cap and I’d just spray it all over the last foot or so of her lawn the whole length every day for a few weeks so that every dog, cat, and stray/wild animal would go sniff her lawn every time they passed by it.

Chardlz

Obedience Or Consequence

white and brown long coat large dogPhoto by Pauline Loroy on Unsplash

My girl told me that the neighbor across the street was instructing his dog to go poop on our lawn. At first, I doubted he was telling his dog to do that, but I was home sick for a few days and saw it myself. I asked the owner to stop it and he said the dog wouldn’t listen. When I asked him to at least clean up the poop, he said his dog was only peeing.

We had our own dog and I took a week’s worth of his poops plus the neighbor’s dog’s poops for the week and walked across the street and threw them all over his front yard and walkway one night. Somehow the neighbor’s dog listened after that and never pooped in my yard again.

mysteryslice

Return To Sender

When I was about 14, I was walking down a road with my friend. Some older teenagers in a car pulled up next to us, threw an egg right at me, and then sped off. Somehow, the egg hit me in the shoulder and then landed on the ground without exploding. It was still intact. The kids did a U-turn and came around to inspect the damage. My friend picked up the egg and threw it right back at their car.

Their window was down, and my friend hit them right at the base of the driver’s side window, creating a perfect airburst. The egg exploded everywhere.

SenorBeef

Dosing Out His Own Medicine

My neighbor watches TV at night loudly. I’ve asked nicely for him to lower it (I’m a nursing student, so I need what little sleep I get). Long story short, he wouldn’t lower it, and my apartment complex says it’s not loud enough to be considered a disturbance. I now play heavy metal music during the day and put the speaker right by the neighbor’s wall, so he’s not able to sleep during the day.

The music is a disturbance, but it’s not loud enough for the complex to consider it a disturbance, so they can’t do anything about it.

flecka22

Free Food For Vengeance’ Sake

I worked in a restaurant with a jerk in the early days of touchscreen point-of-sale systems. Whenever he forgot to log out, I would enter duplicate orders for his tables under his account. Management thought he was a complete idiot and eventually he was even questioning himself. Meanwhile, the rest of the staff got free food.

GhostPepperEater

Not A Good Fit

My grandma, when she was a teenager, was sent to an all-girls school with dorms, uniforms, and the whole shebang. Well, my grandma isn’t an all-girls school type of lady and would sneak out at night by leaving a window cracked open with a shoe. One of the girls at the school did not like my grandma and one night took her shoe out of the window, locking it. This makes it so you have to enter through the front, where a nun was stationed 24/7.

To retaliate, my grandma took a massive poop in this girl’s bed, then remade it. Yeah, my grandma didn’t last too long at that school.

tmiller26

Early Wakeup Call

black alarm clock at 10:10 on white wooden table near tablePhoto by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash

I work as a hotel housekeeper. I was abused by an obnoxious snowflake guest. During her room service, I set her bedside alarm clock to go off, full volume, at 2 am.

kazzah69

Psycho Coworker

In my old department, there was this dispatcher who probably shouldn’t be a dispatcher. We’ll call him G. One day, G needed to stay home for the gas and electric people to do some work on his home. Instead of taking a whole day off, he made the mistake of telling our boss that he’ll be at work no later than noon, but he could be there sooner if it’s really busy. G said he’d call to see how we were doing to see if he needed to come in early. I was left to dispatch for that day.

I came in at 6 am Starting at 7 a.m., he called numerous times. By the time it reached 9, G must have called at least 20 times. Each time he said the same exact thing: “Is it busy? How does it look? Do I need to come in?” By the 20th call, I got fed up and told him that it’s really busy and we could use the help if he’s able to show up. He hesitated because he had no one to watch the house, but eventually agreed and said he’ll be at work in a few minutes.

When he came in, I let him know about the workload. He realized that it wasn’t that busy and asked why I did that. My response? “Because you called me more than a psycho ex. I had to stop you somehow". Our boss wouldn’t let him leave and thought the whole thing was hilarious especially since G knows better than to do things like that to me.

KarmaticFox

South And More South

I was working at a call center. My coworker, who has a very rich southern accent, gets a call in. The woman on the other line detects her accent and gives her a hard time. She then requests someone “intelligent” with “better English”. My coworker tells the woman her English is fine and she can assist her. The lady says something to the effect of, “Just transfer me to someone else, tramp". My coworker then sends her to the SPANISH line. I just about died from the laughter.

9aminATL

Caught Red-Tongued

Someone kept stealing snacks from my little sister’s lunch that was in her locker in elementary school. They even left the wrappers there. My sister had a suspect in mind but her teacher did not want to act on it. So we decided to prepare some Lindt chocolates: We scooped the middle part and put some Sriracha in them. The next day, the kid did indeed fall into our trap and came back from her ”bathroom trip” with a red face and tearing eyes. She stopped stealing from my sister’s locker after that.

yakiho

Cheaters Get Cheated

When I found out my then-husband was sleeping with a coworker for over two years, he was in Denmark on business. I took every penny out of our joint account and opened a new account at a different bank. When he called to ask why his debit card didn’t work, I acted puzzled. This went on for days until he called the bank. In the meantime, I’d gotten an attorney and filed for divorce, and changed all the locks. I also took his phone and threw it into the Mississippi River.

AnnabananaIL

Restaurant Playground

burger with lettuce and tomato on white ceramic platePhoto by Juan Rojas on Unsplash

This was about 15 years ago, in college, while I was a host at a crummy Mexican restaurant. It’s a normal, busy Saturday night, and this guy walks in, right past me. He circles through the whole restaurant, comes back, and points out the table he wants to sit at. I do exactly as he asks. I knew what he was doing. He did not want to sit by any kids. Now, what happened next was completely avoidable, but he had angered me by acting like a smug jerk.

I proceeded to surround him with every party including kids. Loud kids, messy kids, small kids, birthday parties, I’ve got the perfect seat for you! I could see that he was ready to erupt, but it was too dang funny. He came up and yelled at me in front of the entire restaurant for the slights. I played dumb and then went in the back and laughed my butt off with everyone else.

ddub8

The Gift Of Pettiness

I gave my jerk sister-in-law a beautifully wrapped (like, tight wrapping paper with so much perfectly curled ribbon) copy of Toxic In-Laws at her bridal shower. I obviously did not attend said shower, so she likely opened the gift in front of the crowd, for maximum embarrassment. Yes, yes, it made me look ridiculous, no doubt, but I know the irony probably shook her good, which was my goal.

ripperowens

Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated

One of my biggest pet peeves is when somebody buys something, but instead of handing me the money, they plop it down on the counter. So one guy came up and was being… undesirable. Grown man. When it comes time to pay, he grabs a bunch of crumpled cash and throws it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it for a few moments and eventually the guy says something along the lines of, “The money’s right there, you can count it!”

So being the petty little guy I am, I pick it up, thumb through it incredibly slowly (about 30-45 seconds without exaggeration), and this guy is giving me the ANGRIEST look. I open the register to grab his change and I go to set it on the counter. He tries to dip his hand beneath mine to grab it so I slide my hand to the side and drop it on the counter. I slide the item he bought across the counter and look up and smile with a, “Have a very nice day sir".

He storms off and I ask if he’d like his receipt. When comes back and tries to snatch it out of my hand, he instead rips it in half and it took all of my energy not to bust out into tears. I will go to any lengths to anger people if they treat me like I’m subhuman.

TheFallingBlade

Revenge Clap

I think one of the most satisfactory ones for me was when I got back at my childhood tormentors. I got into fights because I’d physically defend friends weaker, smaller, and younger than me. Eventually, the jerks had had enough. The main girl literally recruited two years worth of bad kids. My friends sat at our usual table. The hall was weirdly empty, then came in ALL the jerks and sat at two (eight-person each) tables.

Three of them came up to me. They started insulting us. One grabbed my fork and started eating my pasta. She then picked up my cardboard juice box, stuck the straw in it, and started drinking. I clapped my hands together and all the juice flooded into her mouth where she was forced to splutter it all down herself. The rest of the jerks found this hilarious, and, not having a nice fun fight to get involved in, left.

The main jerk with the juice all over her started yelling at me. I said, “Oh yeah? You and what army?” She panicked and fled. I ate my pasta and one of my friends shared their drink with me.

redandpurpleunicorns

Drying Up After Him

My roommate in college used to get out of the shower dripping wet and leave water all over the bathroom floor. I asked him several times to dry himself off in the shower but he refused. Rather than get angry about it, I just started drying off the bathroom floor every morning with his bath towel.

natbar2000

Concrete Pumpkin

pumpkin near treePhoto by Matt Eberle on Unsplash

I have a friend whose pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. It happened every year. So my friend decided to put a stop to it. He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete. He filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display.

The jerk broke the axle of his bad car when he hit that pumpkin. He could not drive away. My friend had his car towed.

permalink

Long-Term And Expensive

Back in 2001, I was cheated on by a guy I dated for a few years. After we broke up, I went to Walmart’s book aisle. I grabbed about 40 subscription postcards out of the magazines and filled them all out with his name and address. I marked the ‘bill me later option’ and mailed them slowly over a few weeks.

Five years later, we hung out via mutual friends, and in the garage, there were so many magazines that the two-car garage was a one car garage. Three years after this, we were talking and he mentioned how his credit was screwed up because he didn’t pay for some magazine subscriptions and they turned him in to the collection agency.

NiChiKazuki

Burning In The Bathroom

Several coworkers and I noticed that our lunches and drinks would constantly go missing, even when clearly marked. One of my coworkers was a diabetic and it ended up causing him to have a hypoglycaemic incident due to having his food taken. So after that, things got serious. He brought in a lunch that was laced with laxatives and a Carolina reaper extract oil. The previous diabetic incident was well documented and HR at this point was now aware of the food bandit. Luckily, that day, he hit the jackpot.

Turns out it was someone from HR who was taking people’s food. We heard a blood-curdling scream when the guy took his first bite and he was caught red-handed. It only got better from there. He stayed in the office the remainder of the day as things were sorted out. However, he ended up in the bathroom suffering even more. So not only did he get his mouth burned, he was pooping his brains out at the same time.

Steele724

Micro-Managed Alarms

I was at my mom’s for Christmas Eve one year with my husband. I was pregnant and she had been getting on my nerves because she micromanages the holidays and my siblings and I just wanted to relax. She also had a brand-new iPhone and I knew her password. So I set her alarm to come on every hour on the hour starting at midnight and stopping at 7 a.m. I also changed the alarm tone every hour.

One was a dog barking, which set off her two Shih Tzu-poodle mix dogs for almost 45 minutes before the next alarm went off 15 minutes later. It was the best feeling in the world to hand over her phone after setting up those alarms, knowing what was going to happen. It’s one of my most cherished memories.

kittycatballouu

Hiding Rolls

My little sister NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. Like totally empty, roll under the counter, doesn’t bother to change it. So I collected the empty rolls for about four months, and the next time she did it I took all of them, pulled up her sheets, and hid them all under the form-fitting sheet on the bed. It took her a long time to find all of them.

shanderdrunk

Don’t Touch My Peanut Butter

clear glass jar with brown liquidPhoto by Tetiana Bykovets on Unsplash

My roommate kept on grabbing my peanut butter without asking, so I bought a bottle of laxative and made sure all of it went into the jar. I locked the bathroom door when I left in the morning. He pooped on himself and all over his bed — it was so bad he had to buy a new one.

benlara

Collective Coffee Revenge

I worked at a coffee shop in high school and this businessman came in every morning. He was always extremely rude and treated all the baristas like we were garbage. This guy truly talked to us like we were worthless servants. Buddy would order a quad shot americano, so we collectively started pouring him only decaf. He would sometimes come in on his lunch break and would muse out loud about how coffee just didn’t get him going like it used to.

midnight_trains

Sweet And Sticky

My ex cheated. There was a dollar store near her work that I liked. So I went in and spent a dollar on a giant bag of gummy bears. I opened the and ate one. It was sweet! I had another! So good! These were my favorite gummy bears by far! I felt bad for wasting them by throwing them on her windshield on a hot day… but it was totally worth it.

JebbieSans187

Bed Time, Not Game Time

When my husband and I got our first apartment together, we lived with someone who didn’t have much going on schedule-wise and would stay up until 3 or 4 a.m. playing video games online with friends and shouting. We asked him to be quieter after midnight because both my husband and I had early mornings, but he would always do that thing where he was quiet for about 10 minutes and then got even louder than before.

So my husband started unplugging/replugging the internet box after midnight and then when he knocked on our door and asked if we knew why the internet was out, we’d play dumb and promise to call Comcast in the morning.

Nightskyee

Crushed Tacos

I was working at a taco place in the drive-thru, and this one customer was being so rude. He ordered some things, I repeated back his order, and he said I was completely wrong and wasn’t listening. Then he kept yelling at me through the speaker. When he got to the window, he didn’t even look at me when he handed over his money.

Of course, I was angry. One of the things he ordered was ten crunchy tacos with mild sauce. Before I gave him his tacos, I “checked” his ten tacos and crushed seven of them. Then I threw in twelve packets of Diablo sauce and only two packets of mild sauce.

killeroftherose

Your Music, Then My Music

a robot with red lightsPhoto by Albany Capture on Unsplash

Neighbors had a party with karaoke (pretty bad karaoke) that lasted until about 4 am, blasting the speakers with Rancheritas, Corridos, bad oldies Spanish pop. I decided to wash my car with speakers blasting at 6 am when they had just gone to sleep. The next time they had a party, they came over beforehand and said it was going to be over by midnight. It was.

komanti123

Tiny Book Ruiner

Whenever I fought with or got mad at my parents when I was very young (five to seven years old), instead of giving them attitude, I’d just bite my tongue… then later sneak into their bedroom and rip out the following five to ten pages of whatever book they were reading at the time. I was a tiny little passive-aggressive psycho.

cinnemazeia

A Deserved Loss

My former roommate/best friend out of the blue started spreading completely fabricated rumors about me. When I heard about them, I didn’t confront her or call her out. Instead, I blocked her in every way, took all my stuff out of our shared storage unit and never reminded her about paying her half. Months later, she showed up on my doorstep to tell me that they had repoed everything in the unit.

She had every childhood photo, family heirlooms, expensive furniture, and a small jewelry collection in there. Got what she deserved as far as I’m concerned.

BanyonNoble

Catpocalypse

A neighbor tried to hit my cat when she was chilling on his lawn. I got so annoyed, I ordered a ton of catnip seeds from Amazon, and threw it all over his lawn. The cat situation got so bad for him that he had to move out.

still_depresso

Snow-Shoveled In

When I lived in this apartment complex, there was a huge blizzard one winter. The apartment complex had a parking lot. I was parked in the space right in front of my apartment. It took me three hours to shovel out my car and the space, toting the snow to the grassy areas instead of just throwing it into the lot or other spaces. It was brutal.

I leave for work that night, and the jerk neighbor, who was parked in the space next to mine… brushed off his car a little, pulled out of his space without shoveling and parked in the space I had just shoveled. I WAS PEEVED. So I spent another two or so hours shoveling out the space he had been parked in… directly onto his car.

phaqueue