People Share Their Best Responses To "What Are Your Intentions With My Daughter?"


I thought it was funny. No?

Falling in love is an extraordinary experience. And the beginning of every love story is a time of wonder and butterflies. After a certain amount of time, and that time could be anywhere from a week to a year, the love story starts to appreciate certain realities. Such as, eventually, we have to start navigating realistic sleeping patterns (who really holds one another forever) or the embracing of pet peeves, quirks (the toilet paper must ALWAYS flow from the top).... then one day the inevitable must happen.... you have to meet the parents. Go watch the movie for a tutorial. This story will still be here.

Redditor u/YungHitso wanted hear from everyone who faced the parents and lived to tell about it by asking.... Men of Reddit, what is the best response to "What are your intentions with my daughter?"

In time of Corona?


Unprotected sweaty hand holding. lindomontoya

I hope that you have hand sanitizer. little_miss_argonaut


Cheesiest answer I ever gave was "She makes my life better, I intend to return the favor." But I have to admit it went over well. azuth89

Cheesy, yes, but it works. LeDudeWithSpecs

Using this. angelflairpasta


This is the only one I remember.

Dad: What are your intentions with my daughter?

Me: To go bowling.

Dad: More big picture.

Me: To have fun while bowling...?

He asked something after this but I honestly can't remember what it was, but I do remember him getting visibly angry at my smart answer. Alberta_Fire

Then walk away. 

"This isn't where I parked my car!" And walk out. Conversation averted. kazroth27

"OH! My luggage!"

Then walk away. SeedlessGrapes42

Family Ties.


To ask out her brother. Longuylashes

Mirror Answer. 

"The same as you had with your wife, Sir." Tog_the_destroyer

Not the response they wanted, but the response they deserved. PriestofSif

That's an underrated response, i'm going to steal that. sum1rand0m

Animal Kingdom. 

"To do unto her as has been done on the Discovery Channel." SeedlessGrapes42

Replace all the content with reality TV? jwr410

World Domination. 

I intend to raise an army of Slavic warriors and mercenaries with her in the hopes of retaking Russia from the communists so that the we may reestablish the bloodline of Emperor Nicholas II. The last true ruler of the Russian Empire. eyeintheskyonastick


"I intend to do my damnedest to make her happy, because she makes me very happy for having chosen me." Shufpt78

Well Sir.....


"Well then sir, first I'm going to take her out to the movies. I'll pick a romantic comedy, and after it's finished, we'll go out for dinner. I'll pay of course. It's the gentlemanly thing to do. Then I'll keep taking her out on dates. We'll spend more and more time together as we learn about our shared interests and figure out what we like to do together. I'll keep doing this for months, hell, maybe years until we decide to move in together.

I'll move out of my current place and we'll find a nice apartment we can share. It'll be far enough from the city to be affordable but not so far as to make our commute hell. During this time, we'll start talking about our future; about what we both want in our lives and if we can help each other achieve our dreams. Then, after a little bit more time, I'll take her out to dinner at the restaurant we're going to tonight, and I'll get down on one knee and pop the question.

I'll let the waiters know beforehand so they have a bottle of champagne ready. We'll get married in the spring. I want to get married at my parent's church but so long as we're together, I don't really care. We'll go on a beautiful honeymoon in Hawaii, then in Paris. Then when we come home, we'll have a child. A girl, I reckon, if my 4 sisters and 7 aunts is anything to go by. We'll watch her grow up and as we do, our bonds as a family will only grow stronger. I'll be the breadwinner but I will always make time for my family, and they will always come first.

As my daughter approaches high school, she's going to start looking like your daughter does now. And she'll start acting liker her too. One day, without much warning, she'll bring home her first boyfriend. He'll walk in the front door, wipe his feet, and shake my hand. Like I did just now. And when he does, I won't ask him such a stupid damn question!" CSmiht


Who else has survived the "Ben Stiller/DeNiro" experience?

You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei