Let's be real for a moment: It's always satisfying to see someone get their just desserts.
That was the inspiration behind today's burning question from Redditor taz93v, who asked: "What is the best case of instant karma you have witnessed?"
Reading these is an almost spiritual experience.
"A customer being..."
A customer being an absolute tool and treating me like a lesser being just because I work in a convenience store and was threatening to get my pay cut in half, "but then again, you don't make that much anyway".
His card declined and he had to abandon his items. It was glorious.
"So we're working Labor Day..."
I have a co-worker who's an older lady. She's pretty annoying. She butts into conversations and is braggy about the weirdest things. I think she's just really insecure.
So we're working Labor Day and everyone's bummed to be there because it's slow and pointless. Our manager offers to buy KFC to cheer everyone up and boost morale. We're all excitedly ordering when Glenda (annoying lady) shows up and asks why everyone's so excited. We tell her about KFC and ask if she wants anything spceifically. She goes on to say that she brought lunch already - a DELICIOUS spicy meal that's HEALTHY AND HOMEMADE and she doesn't need KFC but you should just SEE how delicious her meal is.
We're like "Okay, whatever anyway..." and proceed to put in our orders. Seeing that the attention is off her, Glenda proceeds to microwave her meal (her shift just started) and bring it back to literally waft the meal in front of us all "See how delicious! It's made with..." she recites this to everyone. We're all annoyed but let it pass. Finally, she goes to her last co-worker and wafts to bowl over the cubicle but tilts her lunch dish too far and spills her soupy chicken meal RIGHT into her handbag.
My boss said "That's what you get for bragging."
"I see a cop..."
I see a cop in an unmarked car on the highway and get behind her in the left lane. Some lady then starts tailgating me, escalates to the horn and flipping me off. She then pulls in the middle lane, passes me on the right, flipping me off and swearing. I smile and wave, knowing what's about to happen. As soon as she passes the car in front of me, the lights go on and she gets pulled over.
"My mom bought my son new shoes..."
My mom bought my son new shoes - he put them on and started to walk away and my mom says, "Wait, let me cut off the tag before you fall on your face", of course my son said, "NO" and he ran away.....soon as he went around the corner he tripped and face planted. Kid's had instant karma since birth, it's a blessing and a curse all at the same time.
"Guess what the cat did?"
My friend's overzealous three year old nephew was told that he could not rough-house with my friend's skittish rescue cat like he could with his big Maine Coon at home because the cat would probably bite or scratch him. His nephew scowled, stomped, and attempted to roughly grab the cat.
Guess what the cat did?
"I almost ran into someone..."
GiphyI almost ran into someone who was on their phone, they yelled at me to watch where I was going. They then proceeded to run into a pole and drop their phone, screen down.
"Watched a class bully..."
Watched a class bully shove down the kid with the heart murmur in front of me (some exposition, fella with the murmur is always nice, but tires quickly and often fainted if they pushed themselves physically, so they're on the tiny and bone thin side - bully bait). This bully guy? Real piece of work, liked hocking spitballs during classes and everything. I'm a pretty big guy, and man I'd had it with them, but just as I'm about to give this prick a shove to match his own, the guy beside me beats me to it.
As I said, I'm no shorty... but this guy next to me, was HUGE. The bully stumbled so hard he tripped, and looked back like he was about to do something.
Mister hero met him with their glowering face, and said, "Do it, MFer." Discussion over. Bully paled, tucked tail and that was that.
"Last night this guy was high beaming..."
Last night this guy was high beaming me from behind and driving like a total psycho. He sped and I lost him. Caught up as he was being written a ticket.
"I was driving down the highway..."
I was driving down the highway in buck-nowhere Iowa once -- no other traffic except for the pickup truck that got closer and closer behind me until they were tailgating. I could hear the engine revving, trying to get around me but they couldn't at that exact moment because the road was curvy and they couldn't see far enough around to know it was safe.
That's when I saw a deer wander into the shoulder ahead of me. I had enough advance warning that I could ease my speed down to avoid the deer. Which of course infuriated the tailgater, who decided to speed around my left, flipping me off and laying into his horn.
The horn spooked the deer, who darted into the road and got hit at high speed by tailgater. Deer died instantly. Driver was saved by his airbag but the truck was totaled.
Once emergency services arrived he was humiliated enough to ask me to leave.
"Driving home..."
Driving home on New Years at a reasonable speed. Car zooms past me going over 85 at least. Second car zooms past me just as fast and turns his lights on.
Another time I was driving in traffic and someone was weaving in and out dangerously. Passing on the right, cutting people off, riding their asses, the works. About a mile later I saw that same car pulled over by a cop.
Oh another time I was a substitute teacher. This kid was being an absolutely @sshat to everyone in the room. Not doing the work, distracting everyone, not allowing me to teach... he was standing on a desk and I was telling him to get down. I told him it wasn't safe, he could hurt himself, etc. he goes to jump off to show off to everyone watching, the desk moves from under him and he face plants. Everyone laughed and he cried. It was so hard to not say I told you so.
"Had an ex..."
Had an ex throw an unopened can of beer at me. It bounced off the wall and hit him square between the eyes.
Thank you Karma!
"This dude was raging..."
GiphyThis dude was raging for no apparent reason on the street and swearing like a sailor, walking next to me. He decided to cross the road and hit some van in the back with his fist, screaming "you come out of that car and I'll kill you". Well, the van driver did come out and let rip on him so bad, he was looking like a scolded little boy by the end of it.
"Every single time..."
Every single time my husband does something to me he gets dosed with instant karma. It could be something as small as tickling my feet (I hate that) and he'll either stub his toe, trip, hit into the doorframe, etc moments later. It is a constant thing and you'd think he'd learn by now, but nope. Irritating me is apparently worth the instant karma.
"Was at a party once..."
Was at a party once, some dude stereotypical macho man was pretty much being a jerk. He was progressively getting more aggressive and drunk. Eventually he decided he wanted to leave, the party host was like "no man, you're drunk I'm keeping your keys" well macho bro decided this wouldn't fly so he waited and ambushed the host, hit him over the head with a lamp or some table ornament. (Didn't see that part, whatever it was it was made of porcelain) grabs his keys a bolts out the door, people rush to stop him but he hops in his truck and peels out. Bam strikes a tree right before the road, of course he wasn't buckled up, smashed his head on the windshield
"Was watching my buddy stream..."
Was watching my buddy stream on twitch. He and I were just chatting and the conversation turned to one of our mutual friends (of whom I've name a child after). I went on a very brief bragging session about our mutual friend and how he's such an awesome human.
When I started watching the stream, I was the only viewer. Unbeknownst to me our mutual friend also popped in but was just lurking. I found out he was there when he said something to the effect of "thanks for the compliments guys".
I got ultra embarrassed for just a moment, then said something like " well now I'm embarrassed but I mean every word".
We are all grown men approaching 40 years old. In this case it was instant positive karma for my buddy and a good reminder for me to tell my friends and family how much they really mean to me.
"My dad..."
My dad was an assh*le to a fast food worker so they gave him a bag full of chicken strips instead of what he ordered. His entire order, in correct boxes, but it was all chicken strips in place of burgers, fries, onion rings, etc. I did NOT mind.
"Then I watched him ride..."
Several years ago i watched some tool ride his bicycle down the road with no hands, holding his mobile out in front of him taking a selfie. Then i watched him ride into the back of a parked van.
Nearly choked from laughing.
"Sat in filtering bus traffic..."
Sat in filtering traffic the black range rover in front let a few vehicles in and then crept forward to close the gap, the man in the car who didn't get let through was so mad he got out of his car a started to kick the range rover.
He then got arrested by the policemen in the range rover.
"He was so intent..."
I was in a parking lot walking towards a store with two friends. Three people were walking out: a young couple and an older lady (girl's mom, maybe). I was half-ogling the younger gal. Didn't think I was being too obvious, but apparently her boyfriend disagreed and got noticeably mad. A couple seconds later he was sprawled out in the parking lot. He was so intent on staring me down that he didn't pay attention to where he was going, and fell off the curb.
"Little ricer with no headlights on..."
Little ricer with no headlights on at night speeding and jumping multiple lanes at a time without using the blinkers. Rear ended a cop car right in front of me.
As children, when we saw grown-ups behave in certain ways, we more than likely promised ourselves we would never be like them.
That we would never lose our temper at minor things, groan over the slightest ache in our bodies, or choose work over fun.
However, when adulthood creeps up on us, certain things about the person you become you have little to no control over.
As a result, you might find yourself screaming at children for being too noisy or going to bed at 9:15 instead of seeing a midnight screening of your favorite movie and realizing that you have become the very thing you've been trying to avoid your entire life.
Redditor UglyLikeCaillou was curious to hear what type of person the Reddit community ended up becoming, despite vowing they wouldn't, leading them to ask:
"What type of person did you swear to never turn into growing up, but did anyway?"
Letting It Out Can Ease The Pain...
"The one that makes noises when I get up off the floor."- tutohooto
The Wise Know The Vital Importance Of Being Silly
"I swore I’d never stop being goofy."
"That I’d always try to find the positive and wouldn’t give up hope."
"But then life happened."
"It’s hard staying an emotionally sensitive and caring person when so many people are just plain mean."- Lucky_Garbage5537
It's Possible, Even In A Room Full Of People...
"I never thought I would grow up to be so lonely, but here I am."- oldbaldgrumpy
Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphyTemper Temper...
"An angry person."
"Life and people are just too much all the time."-Jumpy-Air-3385
Some Call It Frugal, Others Call It Cheap....
"The kind that put something back cause the store brand was 20 cents cheaper."- penndelnj
A Far Too Common Occurrence
"I never thought I'd live paycheck to paycheck by my age."
"I thought I'd be on my way to being financially independent by now, in fact."
"It's always been my goal, I was willing to work so hard from such a young age and never scared to make sacrifices but unfortunately my people-reader is skewed and all I ever really got was taken advantage of."
"It's not too late, I'm smarter now and I'll get there."- FriendCountZero
2 Chainz Pockets GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphyWorking Hard For The Money...
"A corporate slave."- lapdanze
"My dad was an engineer and I vowed to never be like him in any way."
"Growing up, I always said over my dead body would i become a corporate slave chained to a desk."
"Guess who is a desk jockey engineer now."- Lame_usernames_left
Watch Your Mouth!
"If my child self met my adult self, he’d tell me that I shouldn’t say so many bad words."- BarthRevan
The Apple Doesn't Fall Very Far From The Tree...
"My dad."- PolarBearChuck
"The most relatable one, nobody wants to become their parents, it’s horrible (unless you have good parents)."- Fine-Macaroon-3202
season 2 episode 6 GIFGiphyThe Comfort Of Your Own Home...
"A homebody."
"In my early 20’s I would never miss an opportunity to go out on Thurs, Friday, or Sat night and couldn’t understand why my parents would ‘waste’ a perfectly good weekend night, just to stay home."
"Now I get it. MAN, do I get it."
Derogatory Term, Or Term Of Endearment?
"I remember learning what a nerd was and thinking 'thank God I'm not a nerd' as I went home from school to play Pokemon Emerald and talk on Pokemon message boards about the upcoming Diamond and Pearl games."- hectoByte
Early To Bed, Early To Rise
"The dad that gets up at 4:30 am to exercise, and is ready for bed by 9 pm."- GreyPilgrim1973
Work Out Pain GIF by I Want You Back MovieGiphyBeauty Comes In All Sizes...
"Overweight."
"Not super big, but not skinny anymore."- hoosierhiver
One Can Indeed Be The Loneliest Number...
"Crotchety, single old lady."
"I'm only sometimes crotchety, but I'm almost fifty and still single!"- GimmeUrNachos
Love What You Do! If You Can...
"An office drone."
"Redditing as we speak to avoid looking at yet another ghastly eyesore of a spreadsheet.'
"Why have we done this to ourselves as a civilization?"- onemanmelee
Still Waiting Office Tv GIF by The OfficeGiphyGrowing up can be scary, hence why we always promise ourselves we won't turn out a certain way.
Even so, some things about the type of person we grow up to be are completely out of our control.
And rather than bemoan our current situation, it's always best to embrace it and enjoy the precious time we have on Earth with our family and friends.
And maybe cut our parents a little slack for the behavior we judged them so harshly on as children...
Redditor BlastEffects wanted to hear about money choices that have gone south for people, so they asked:
"What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made financially?"
I love movies.
I spent way too much on videotapes.
I never saw DVDs coming, let alone streaming.
Onward
Season 10 Hug GIF by FriendsGiphy"Consumed copious amounts of drugs and alcohol for most of my adult life. 11 years sober though."
b_a_b_a_r
"I came here to say something similar to this. Addiction is the most expensive and life-altering thing I've ever encountered - both financially and emotionally. I too have more than a few 24 hours put together now. Life is better. Happy for you!!"
ajmaccc
Decisions. Decisions.
"I've just generally been too reckless with money in my life. I haven't ever really made any single huge financial mistakes, I've just made a large number of smaller impulsive money decisions that have led to me having very little saved. Currently working on it, though, and I am doing better."
slinkocat
My Parent's Did It
"Bought a timeshare. We ended up just not paying the maintenance fees until they repossessed it."
Glittercorn111
"My parents have had theirs for about 30 years. I've gotten bogged down in these timeshare arguments before because Reddit can't believe some people have had good experiences. I think the key is that 30 or 40 years ago they weren't quite as scammy. Certainly never an 'investment,' but you weren't actively getting conned. Plus, it's a lot easier to deal with once it's actually paid off. Most people never get that far."
"My parent's contract locked in all these lower rates and has all the guaranteed perks the new ones haven't offered in years. The company is desperate to get them onto the new contract. They've offered all kinds of extra free weeks and upgrades, but my parents won't do it because that new system is basically worthless."
Madmax2356
Not a Hoarder
"I’m in therapy now and it’s getting better, but I was dealing with my trauma and depression by buying things with money I didn’t have, just to have something to constantly look forward to every day in the mail. You have to order a lot, constantly, to achieve that. And I’m not a hoarder, so I’ll buy something and when I realize it has nowhere to go and I don’t use it for a year, it ends up donated or in the trash."
propernice
I Don't
Car Breaking Up GIF by megan motownGiphy"Not immediately divorcing my ex-wife when I caught her cheating."
vikrambedi
"Marriage was my greatest mistake. I can't even afford to finalize the divorce."
myheartbeats4hotdogs
Debt
Student Loans Corona GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"Student loans for a career path I’m not even doing anymore."
armchairdaisy
"Don’t beat yourself up. 73% of people don’t use the degree they went to school for. Most degrees are just all companies want for you to prove you can take crap and follow directions."
Strong-Solution-7492
At a Loss
"Bought horses. Sold horses at a loss."
Patient5199
"Same, buying horses (am currently on horse #2 and 3) was probably the worst financial decision I ever made. At this point, over the last 12 years, the amount I spent on them is easily the equivalent of a down payment on a pretty decent house or a few years of earlier retirement."
"But it is also one of the most satisfying decisions I made on an emotional level. Could not imagine living without them."
NewWorldCamelid
Really regret that...
"Initially, I was thinking 'Going to college,' but as I reflected a little more I realized going to college wasn't the worst financial decision I've made -- it was all the stupid choices I made in college, instead of studying."
AestheticCopacetic
"I'm right there with you."
"I was never a good student and only went to college because I was 'supposed' to. I wanted to go to a beauty school or design school. Wasted my years barely scraping by, and had a C- average. Now I'm 51 and regret not going for my dreams and since I was in school, why didn't I take my education more seriously? Really regret that."
Overlandtraveler
Hindsight
"Filing bankruptcy when I didn’t owe that much. I was young and overwhelmed and thought I couldn’t pay it off, but in hindsight, I see I could have. Ruined credit for 10 years. Couldn’t even get a phone in my own name. Had to get prepaid, which was expensive as f**k. Couldn’t get an apartment. Couldn’t get a car."
manykeets
"I feel this. It set me back and was a constant issue with everything for a while. It took a few years before I could get back to normalcy."
ticketspleasethanks
Ahoy Not!
friend sinking GIFGiphy"Bought a sailboat. Enough said."
flawedwithvice
"A colleague who sailed told me I could get the same experience, by sitting on my knees in a cold shower, crying and tearing up $100 bills... He did keep his sailboat a couple of more years though."
Norseman84
Boats just never did it for me.
A floating house is an unnecessary extra house, and bill.
