
Let's be real for a moment: It's always satisfying to see someone get their just desserts.
That was the inspiration behind today's burning question from Redditor taz93v, who asked: "What is the best case of instant karma you have witnessed?"
Reading these is an almost spiritual experience.
"A customer being..."
A customer being an absolute tool and treating me like a lesser being just because I work in a convenience store and was threatening to get my pay cut in half, "but then again, you don't make that much anyway".
His card declined and he had to abandon his items. It was glorious.
"So we're working Labor Day..."
I have a co-worker who's an older lady. She's pretty annoying. She butts into conversations and is braggy about the weirdest things. I think she's just really insecure.
So we're working Labor Day and everyone's bummed to be there because it's slow and pointless. Our manager offers to buy KFC to cheer everyone up and boost morale. We're all excitedly ordering when Glenda (annoying lady) shows up and asks why everyone's so excited. We tell her about KFC and ask if she wants anything spceifically. She goes on to say that she brought lunch already - a DELICIOUS spicy meal that's HEALTHY AND HOMEMADE and she doesn't need KFC but you should just SEE how delicious her meal is.
We're like "Okay, whatever anyway..." and proceed to put in our orders. Seeing that the attention is off her, Glenda proceeds to microwave her meal (her shift just started) and bring it back to literally waft the meal in front of us all "See how delicious! It's made with..." she recites this to everyone. We're all annoyed but let it pass. Finally, she goes to her last co-worker and wafts to bowl over the cubicle but tilts her lunch dish too far and spills her soupy chicken meal RIGHT into her handbag.
My boss said "That's what you get for bragging."
"I see a cop..."
I see a cop in an unmarked car on the highway and get behind her in the left lane. Some lady then starts tailgating me, escalates to the horn and flipping me off. She then pulls in the middle lane, passes me on the right, flipping me off and swearing. I smile and wave, knowing what's about to happen. As soon as she passes the car in front of me, the lights go on and she gets pulled over.
"My mom bought my son new shoes..."
My mom bought my son new shoes - he put them on and started to walk away and my mom says, "Wait, let me cut off the tag before you fall on your face", of course my son said, "NO" and he ran away.....soon as he went around the corner he tripped and face planted. Kid's had instant karma since birth, it's a blessing and a curse all at the same time.
"Guess what the cat did?"
My friend's overzealous three year old nephew was told that he could not rough-house with my friend's skittish rescue cat like he could with his big Maine Coon at home because the cat would probably bite or scratch him. His nephew scowled, stomped, and attempted to roughly grab the cat.
Guess what the cat did?
"I almost ran into someone..."
I almost ran into someone who was on their phone, they yelled at me to watch where I was going. They then proceeded to run into a pole and drop their phone, screen down.
"Watched a class bully..."
Watched a class bully shove down the kid with the heart murmur in front of me (some exposition, fella with the murmur is always nice, but tires quickly and often fainted if they pushed themselves physically, so they're on the tiny and bone thin side - bully bait). This bully guy? Real piece of work, liked hocking spitballs during classes and everything. I'm a pretty big guy, and man I'd had it with them, but just as I'm about to give this prick a shove to match his own, the guy beside me beats me to it.
As I said, I'm no shorty... but this guy next to me, was HUGE. The bully stumbled so hard he tripped, and looked back like he was about to do something.
Mister hero met him with their glowering face, and said, "Do it, MFer." Discussion over. Bully paled, tucked tail and that was that.
"Last night this guy was high beaming..."
Last night this guy was high beaming me from behind and driving like a total psycho. He sped and I lost him. Caught up as he was being written a ticket.
"I was driving down the highway..."
I was driving down the highway in buck-nowhere Iowa once -- no other traffic except for the pickup truck that got closer and closer behind me until they were tailgating. I could hear the engine revving, trying to get around me but they couldn't at that exact moment because the road was curvy and they couldn't see far enough around to know it was safe.
That's when I saw a deer wander into the shoulder ahead of me. I had enough advance warning that I could ease my speed down to avoid the deer. Which of course infuriated the tailgater, who decided to speed around my left, flipping me off and laying into his horn.
The horn spooked the deer, who darted into the road and got hit at high speed by tailgater. Deer died instantly. Driver was saved by his airbag but the truck was totaled.
Once emergency services arrived he was humiliated enough to ask me to leave.
"Driving home..."
Driving home on New Years at a reasonable speed. Car zooms past me going over 85 at least. Second car zooms past me just as fast and turns his lights on.
Another time I was driving in traffic and someone was weaving in and out dangerously. Passing on the right, cutting people off, riding their asses, the works. About a mile later I saw that same car pulled over by a cop.
Oh another time I was a substitute teacher. This kid was being an absolutely @sshat to everyone in the room. Not doing the work, distracting everyone, not allowing me to teach... he was standing on a desk and I was telling him to get down. I told him it wasn't safe, he could hurt himself, etc. he goes to jump off to show off to everyone watching, the desk moves from under him and he face plants. Everyone laughed and he cried. It was so hard to not say I told you so.
"Had an ex..."
Had an ex throw an unopened can of beer at me. It bounced off the wall and hit him square between the eyes.
Thank you Karma!
"This dude was raging..."
This dude was raging for no apparent reason on the street and swearing like a sailor, walking next to me. He decided to cross the road and hit some van in the back with his fist, screaming "you come out of that car and I'll kill you". Well, the van driver did come out and let rip on him so bad, he was looking like a scolded little boy by the end of it.
"Every single time..."
Every single time my husband does something to me he gets dosed with instant karma. It could be something as small as tickling my feet (I hate that) and he'll either stub his toe, trip, hit into the doorframe, etc moments later. It is a constant thing and you'd think he'd learn by now, but nope. Irritating me is apparently worth the instant karma.
"Was at a party once..."
Was at a party once, some dude stereotypical macho man was pretty much being a jerk. He was progressively getting more aggressive and drunk. Eventually he decided he wanted to leave, the party host was like "no man, you're drunk I'm keeping your keys" well macho bro decided this wouldn't fly so he waited and ambushed the host, hit him over the head with a lamp or some table ornament. (Didn't see that part, whatever it was it was made of porcelain) grabs his keys a bolts out the door, people rush to stop him but he hops in his truck and peels out. Bam strikes a tree right before the road, of course he wasn't buckled up, smashed his head on the windshield
"Was watching my buddy stream..."
Was watching my buddy stream on twitch. He and I were just chatting and the conversation turned to one of our mutual friends (of whom I've name a child after). I went on a very brief bragging session about our mutual friend and how he's such an awesome human.
When I started watching the stream, I was the only viewer. Unbeknownst to me our mutual friend also popped in but was just lurking. I found out he was there when he said something to the effect of "thanks for the compliments guys".
I got ultra embarrassed for just a moment, then said something like " well now I'm embarrassed but I mean every word".
We are all grown men approaching 40 years old. In this case it was instant positive karma for my buddy and a good reminder for me to tell my friends and family how much they really mean to me.
"My dad..."
My dad was an assh*le to a fast food worker so they gave him a bag full of chicken strips instead of what he ordered. His entire order, in correct boxes, but it was all chicken strips in place of burgers, fries, onion rings, etc. I did NOT mind.
"Then I watched him ride..."
Several years ago i watched some tool ride his bicycle down the road with no hands, holding his mobile out in front of him taking a selfie. Then i watched him ride into the back of a parked van.
Nearly choked from laughing.
"Sat in filtering bus traffic..."
Sat in filtering traffic the black range rover in front let a few vehicles in and then crept forward to close the gap, the man in the car who didn't get let through was so mad he got out of his car a started to kick the range rover.
He then got arrested by the policemen in the range rover.
"He was so intent..."
I was in a parking lot walking towards a store with two friends. Three people were walking out: a young couple and an older lady (girl's mom, maybe). I was half-ogling the younger gal. Didn't think I was being too obvious, but apparently her boyfriend disagreed and got noticeably mad. A couple seconds later he was sprawled out in the parking lot. He was so intent on staring me down that he didn't pay attention to where he was going, and fell off the curb.
"Little ricer with no headlights on..."
Little ricer with no headlights on at night speeding and jumping multiple lanes at a time without using the blinkers. Rear ended a cop car right in front of me.
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.