People Share 'The Incident' From Childhood That Their Parents Still Haven't Let Go Of
If there's one thing we can rely on marvelous parents for, besides love, support, healthcare, a house, food, and clothing, is to remember us at out lowest. Mistakes are easy to make and, thankfully, good parents are there to pick us back up, dust us off, and make fun of us for the rest of our lives.
Reddit user, u/unsanemaker, wanted the best of our worst when they asked:
Do You Know...?
When my brother was really little he was really into WWF and WWE. He wanted to be a wrestler and he started calling himself "the muscle man" but he couldn't pronounce "muscle" so it came out "muffin".
We still call him the muffin man, hes 27.
Get The Point?Giphy
Ugh. When I dated an...interesting... guy for a bit in high school. He was really into swords. Every new guy I meet, the first thing they say is... But how many swords does he have? They think they're pretty damn funny.
If he had enough time to go out with you he wasn't studying the blade enough.
Good point! Unfortunately I wasn't sharp enough back then to get a handle on things.
I Can Hit The Point. I Promise.
Throwing a dart into my brothers bare foot because I convinced myself I was good enough to throw it exactly between his toes.
This...Feels Like Their Fault
A few years ago I was eating dinner with my mom and brother and started choking on a piece of food. Couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. I fell out of my chair and writhed on the floor before managing to dislodge the food.
The entire time my mom and brother laughed because they thought I was joking, and then yelled at me for not letting them know I was choking. Almost four years later if I even remotely choke on anything they remind me to fall onto the floor so that they know I'm being serious.
Yeah. This Makes Sense.
I didn't get to walk in my high school graduation. Had to go to 2 weeks of summer school (over some bullsh-t, but whatever). I've graduated college, graduated graduate school, walked at all of them just for my mom.
I'm now a full time college professor and my mom STILL holds not walking in my high school graduation over my head.
Can't Argue With Science
When I was turning like 5 or 6 my mom joked that she was taking away my birthday because I was growing up too fast. I freaked out because I'm a kid and I love my birthday.
Now I'm 27 and every year on my birthday she says I'm a year younger because she took away my birthday that one time.
A Perfectly Good Dirt Snack
When I was 6 or 7, I was outside playing on our swing set. As I was swinging, I was looking at the ground and saw a fruit snack. It was covered in dirt but I stopped swinging, picked it up, blew the dirt off, and was about to stick it in my mouth when suddenly I hear my mom banging on the dining room window, motioning me to come inside. She told me if I wanted a fruit snack I just needed to ask and then she gave me a pack of them.
She has told this story to every friend or boyfriend I've ever introduced her to. It's not even that funny or great of a story. But it's the one story she has that she thinks will embarrass me. But I was a kid, and I saw a fruit snack.
Of course I was going to try to eat it.
Do You Know A Better Way?
Whenever my parents are talking with other parents about shenanigans pulled by young children my dad likes to bring up the time he came home from work to see 3 year old me up on the kitchen counter, with an entire package of cinnamon raisin bagels having been split in half and de-raisined. He asked me what I was doing and I very proudly exclaimed "I'm eating raisins!"
That's Quite A Technique
I was trying to perform the Heimlich maneuver on my sister to show our dad what I had learned that day in school but instead, I was just...violently humping her back because I didn't know you were supposed to tighten your arms around the diaphragm.
To this day they call it the "Humpback Maneuver"
A Bite To Forget
when I was younger (at least 4 years old), we were at Disneyland [Paris] with my cousins family. when walking around the park, I got tired and my uncle decided to give me a piggy back ride. I don't remember doing this but apparently to my dad, he hear my uncle shout "OW!", when questioned, my uncle said I had bit his ear. full on bit his ear.
Showing The Goods
A bit late but my parents love to tell the story about a young boi (me) standing naked at our window. The window is directly at a main traffic road.
Best part is I did it because my twin gave me 5 bucks. The call from the neighbours my mom received were worth it I [guess]
Stroganoff? No, Never Again.
When I was around 12 I decided to cook dinner and dessert for my Mum's birthday. For main I cook beef stroganoff, we sit down to eat and it is...completely inedible. Mum is asking me questions trying to work out where it went so wrong. Turns out when the recipe called for a cup of stock, it DID NOT mean a cup of stock powder straight from the tin.
Thinking dessert would salvage the night I dish up golden syrup dumplings (with ice cream). Instead of the dumplings being soft and delicious, they are more like golden golf balls. No spoon could break them. I used plain flour instead of self raising flour. The ice cream was great. Mum still laughs and imitates me resting my head in the table in defeat. It happened nearly 20 years ago and I will not ever live it down.
I have not made beef stroganoff since.
Confusing Swimming With Something Else
My dad played with a travel softball team throughout my childhood. I went to surrounding states all of the time for his games. We were at a hotel pool when I was three, about to head inside. My mom was holding my newborn little sister, and she and my dad were talking to one of my dad's teammates. When I was younger, I was obsessed with swimming, and I snuck back into the water.
I was holding my breath and underneath, and I also didn't know how to swim. My dad jumps into the pool fully clothed, yanks me up, and asks me, "What were you doing?!" I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "I was swimming!" Not missing a beat, he told me, "You weren't swimming, you were drowning!" I can't go around a body of water without this story being brought up.
You Just Need The Right Motivation, Is All
My brother and I were in the playroom and I was laying on the mat on my tummy maybe two metres away from my brother. He then went into the kitchen to ask my mum for a knife and fork and when my mum came back down with him she saw me laying next to the plate grabbing at the pancakes. My mum then asked my brother "____ did you move your sister over here?" And my brother replied "no she was on the mat". I crawled for the first time, towards pancakes. This gets brought up every time we have pancakes.
Time Is Nothing To Kids
When I was a kid, like 4-5, I apparently walked up to my parents and said "I broke my arm falling from a tree when I was 23."
So when I turned 23, any time I'd climb they'd make jokes about it.
I keep reminding them it was PAST TENSE. Past lives and sh-t.
Confusion As To What We Are
When my brother was 5 and I was 3, we were at the YMCA swimming pool, and out of nowhere, my brother says really loud, "Dad? Are we Mexican?" Now, my brother and I are biracial, so we look Mexican, but we aren't.
The ENTIRE pool went silent as my dad had to explain to my brother that we weren't.
"I made it and it was mine."
That when I was learning to use the toilet I never wanted to flush my poop down because "I made it and it was mine." My mom's absolute FAVOURITE story of me...
It's All. Your. FAULT.
My Jewish mother still reminds me how she was in labor for 10 hours before I was born.
It's like it was my fault, and that I had some control over it. She says "You don't remember, but it's the truth". Of course I don't remember, Ma!
That's just the typical Jewish guilt machine working its wonders.
A Funeral To Never ForgetGiphy
So when I was 6-7, we were visiting Georgia cause one of my uncles was dying. It was a really solemn affair, not a lot of fun, and sort of a miserable time for everyone. So little me, a bit bored, and looking for something to get my mind off of things, started chasing their cat around because I loved cats. A lot. Like in that little kid way that cats hate, where you just pick them up in a bear hug and squeeze them until they claw at you to get away.
So I'm chasing this cat, and it runs through its cat tunnel on the cat scratch post/palace thing it had. Obviously, I launch myself flat out into this thing after it, and wedge my arms against myself with my elbows, and my hands just stuck right in front of my face. I made it about halfway through the tunnel.
I struggled for like 20 minutes by myself trying to get out, and man, I'm just STUCK. So finally I started crying, and my family heard and came over. I'm all embarrassed cause I can't get out, and they're just laughing like crazy. Finally, my oldest brother says, "I'll get him out!" grabs me by the ankles, and with all his might His 13 year old self could muster, yanks my jeans clean off.
My whitey-tightey bums just out there for to see. I was mortified, and they just laughed and laughed. Like several of them fell onto the ground laughing. They did finally rescue me by pulling my hands through, so I wasn't so wedged in there. I guess all in all, it helped them get some laughter in a sucky time. It gets brought up from time to time, but really it's fine.
A lot of people honestly go through life barely holding everything together, but some people just totally don't have it together in the first place.
Some folks are really good at hiding that fact, but there are usually some pretty clear signs.
Redditor erestupapi asked:
"What is a sign someone doesn't have their sh*t together?"
Airing Their Dirty Laundry
"They post all of their drama online and then complain that people are in their business"
"Love especially the detailed posts about how 'some people' need to mind their own business, and how such and such isn’t even true because blah blah blah. 😂 the best"
"I figured out long ago that if someone in a LTR starts plastering social media with 'We're so happy! We are SO IN LOVE! We are going to be together FOREVER!', things are on the verge of reverting to 'It's complicated.'"
Whose Fault Is It Anyway?
"When you blame everyone else for your self-inflicted problems."
"And vice-versa, by blaming yourself for everything regardless of whose fault it is."
"This is how I turned my life around at 22. I had a series of problems in my life and I took no ownership in causing them. I had a sudden realization that I was the main cause of each of my problems, and started shaping up from that day on. Unfortunately, once I had that realization, it made me see those issues in friends and family, and those relationships suffered because those people refused to see the same thing in themselves."
It's Only Borrowing If You Pay It Back
"Always asking to borrow money"
"My boyfriend gets called by his “best friend” weekly and asks him if he can lend him tons of money. Meanwhile he buys the most expensive jewelry for his girlfriend. Yeah he’s not well"
"This. Ironically, my high-earning friends are the one that always gets involved with debt. It's funny how they earn 2-4x my salary but they still got the nerve to borrow money from me."
You Can Just Block People, You Know
"New phone number/social media accounts every few months."
"I lost contact with a lot of people because of that. I constantly got chained texts of "this is my new number!" Or a Facebook post saying to send them your number because they got a new number. I just stopped responding. And when the new social media accounts were created and I got a new friend request I would end up just not accepting after the second one."
"And it wasn't like once in a while either. Every few months. It happened every few months with the same people."
"When I was younger I knew someone like this. He’d get blocked by women on Facebook or his number would be blocked so every year or two he’d get a new number or make a new Facebook so he’s suddenly unblocked."
Trying Too Hard
"Constantly posting motivational videos and quotes. I mean like all the time."
"Or the ones constantly posting over top love declarations about their spouse/SO. Things are likely not well in that relationship."
"Hahahaha this is a massive red flag for a breakdown. Also posting loyalty memes 'never take my kindness for weakness' with a picture of a tired lion."
"and the memes with some dude smoking that is about how they are the 'black sheep' of the family but everyone comes to them when sh*t 'gets real'"
"You can always tell your friend is going through some sh*t in their life when their social media posts all of a sudden have an uptick in positive and motivational quotes. It's like a call for help or something"
A Perfect Act
"Plot twist, no one has their sh*t together. Some are just really good at faking it."
"I like 'Everybody is on their first try at getting through life'"
"Worked with 'highly intelligent; execs. They sure as f**k were acting."
"I’m making my way up the career ladder atm and I’m faking it half the time. I realised a little while back that the guys above are as well. Life is messy, barely anyone has their sh*t together all the time. Just some are better at riding the the chaos than others and are better at dealing with the unexpected."
"What I find is that some compassion and a little self awareness goes a long way. That’s the difference between a crap senior exec and one that you want to work for."
Just The Runs
"If they have loose stool and do not eat enough fiber"
"Technically correct. The best kind of correct."
The Glory Days
"Most of their small talk/idle chat consists of their high school days even though they graduated years ago."
"Oh yes. My husband had a friend like this when we were dating. They knew each other in high school and that’s all the friend would talk about. I saw this slow but steady pulling away that my husband did because there was no 'now', there was no 'future' with this friend. If he couldn’t talk about that crazy time they painted all the footballs with tar, he’d have nothing to say."
That Was A Lie
"Becoming easily agitated and constantly saying 'I don't care'"
"My mother every day of my childhood."
"Honestly, someone who would identify as a workaholic and over-schedules themselves. Always seems to me to be a person who doesn't like sitting alone with their thoughts too long. Not enough balance. *not referring to those of us who have to work like that due to economic status."
"These people are great at parties (if they even bother to show). You get to hear all the humble bragging and how they 'are so tired and busy all the time' /s"
"They always slide in the fact that they are successful and highly sought after for work. Lord help the people who don't think they're in control of their own schedule and don't know what 'no' is."
Even the person who seems like they've got it all figured out might not really be as in control of their life as they seem.
When it's time to go... GO!
Our guts know when it's time time to exit.
Knowing how to run and save yourself is important.
That little voice in our minds always knows when something is up.
Don't deny it.
It's especially obvious when a murderer is chasing you, or someone is on fire running toward you.
Redditor Apprehensive6815 wanted to hear about the times we knew we had to flee, so they asked:
"What was your 'I need to get out of here ASAP” moment?'
I've lost track of the amount of times I've felt that feeling and fled.
ROARMOUNTAIN LION cougar GIFGiphy
"I unknowingly walked up next to a mountain lion one morning on a hike. And I’ve never felt true fear til that moment."
"In the late 70s and I was stationed at Ft. Campbell, KY. I was off-post drinking with a buddy and we met a couple of older vets and we started talking, joking... nice time. As the bar was closing down they invited us to their place to have a few more beers. I drove a `65 Chevy pickup so we followed them down into Clarksville and ended up drinking beers in the family room while the one guy's wife and kids hung around."
"But all of the sudden the mood changed in the room. These guys turned nasty... making off-hand insulting remarks. No more jokes. Got dark real quick. I excused myself to take a leak and just as I came out of the john... I heard the guy who owned the house say to his wife in the kitchen, 'Take the kids back to the bedroom and lock the door. Don't come out no matter what you hear out here.'"
"The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I immediately got tunnel vision. I turned and ran top speed down the hall and yelled to my buddy as I whistled past the family room and out the door. I had the Chevy fired up in no time flat and saw my buddy dive into the bed of the pickup through the rear-view mirror as I gunned the engine and fishtailed out the driveway. That's my 'I need to get out of here ASAP' story and it still makes my palms sweat thinking about it."
No Big Deal
"I was walking home one night after the bar, on a long semi lit street. There was a man walking a fair piece back yelling at me to stop, he wanted to talk to me etc. I just kept walking thinking just a drunk dude NBD. A cab pulled up to me and stoped and asked if the guy walking was my boyfriend. I told him know I have never seen him before. The cabby told me to get in the car because that guy paid him $50 to go around to block and stop me."
"The cabby did so thinking maybe we were a couple having a fight. I got in the cab and we had to drive past this guy to turn around to head toward me house and he started freaking out that the guy didn’t stop for him. That night a cabby may have saved me from many years of therapy or possibly my life. I did not walk long stretches at night again."
"I was building a cinder block wall in the winter in Canada. We had the area tarped off with a salamander heater running to keep us warm. One day I noticed my eyes were starting to burn so I looked over at the guy I was working with and asked if he felt weird in any way. When he looked at me I realized he was squinting and so was I. We were maybe 20 feet from each other. Needless to say we killed the heater and got outside the tarp. I wasn’t in the mood for carbon monoxide poisoning."
Members OnlyCbs No GIF by HULUGiphy
"I used to be a part of a rapidly growing cult. I knew I needed to leave when they started convincing teenagers to recruit kids at their high schools."
Stay away from cults. Keep an eye out.
The DadJohn Cena Movie GIF by Daddy's HomeGiphy
"My friends had a friend in high school we called The Dad. If he ever felt uncomfortable at a party and wanted to leave, we would follow. He had the best instincts and saved us from the police, random fights and other foul drama many a time."
"I once took a wrong turn on a street in Chicago from a pretty decent neighborhood somewhere around Archer and Harlem. Anyways, I don't know how we ended up where we did but I was like 18 driving my Dad's Toyota Camry through a large group gathering of some gang all decked out in colors. Like they were literally everywhere on the street, just hanging out and chilling like they were having a block party... maybe they were, but we got the distinct impression that we did not belong on this particular street and sort of got the hell out of there as fast as we could."
"I was 19 and hanging out with some work friends in Cleveland and one of the guys looked out the window and pulled out a gun and told us all to get down. I, of course, was terrified. Thankfully no shots were fired, but I excused myself after it ended and went home."
"Was hanging out outside of my church when a dude ran by that kept looking behind him, then another one passed by that was throwing rocks behind him. When I looked what were they running away from there was a group of 5 dudes with machetes chasing them and one dead by the side of the road. Actually took me a minute to process and get inside."
Gotta Go!Tobey Maguire Poop GIFGiphy
"Major diarrhea at the airport, and the toilet wouldn't flush."
Always have good running shoes.
Do you have any experiences where your instincts quite literally saved you? Let us know in the comments below.
Life is worse than fiction.
We as humans can be witnesses to the most brutal things life has to offer, sometimes by accident.
That's why therapy bills are so high.
You think you can handle the rough stuff.
You watch TV, someone dies horribly, and the day goes on.
But when you see it live and in person?
Your life changes.
Redditor wetbumgirl wanted to hear from people who were willing to share their real life nightmares, so they asked:
"What was the most disturbing thing you saw in person?"
Worst thing I ever saw was a dead body on the side of the road.
Never again please.
"I saw a guy's leg shredded by recycling truck that didn’t see him. It was something out of a human anatomy text book. You could see every muscle and bone from thigh to shin. The poor dude was still alive in extreme pain. As the ambulance came to get him he looked so pale and cold. I found out he died shortly after."
A Gut Punch
"ER nurse, trauma code on a middle aged gentleman who wrecked his car, basically dead on arrival and didn’t make it. The ambulance that dropped him off had to do a speed clean of the bloody gurney to rush out to another call immediately. 30 minutes later it brings in an old lady who had fallen at home."
"She kept saying she can’t get ahold of her son and he was suppose to take her to the hospital. Turns out her son was the one who wrecked his car on his way to take his mom to the hospital, and she was brought in on the same gurney that her dead son was just laying on moments earlier."
"That was a gut punch having to tell her the bad news."
"(This was in a rural community with limited ambulance service)."
At the Bottom
"When I was about 9 years old our family was staying at a campground on a river in northern Michigan. A 2 year old boy had wandered off and was missing. The entire park was looking for him. After about two hours with no luck some of us began looking in the water at the ends of the docks nearby. When I dove down in about 4’ of water I found him floating just off the bottom of the river."
"I pulled him to the surface and shouted for help. The EMTs made an effort to resuscitate him. To no avail. As horrible as that was, the thing that I will never forget was the sound his mother made when I carried him ashore. I still enjoy boating and swimming, but I have a very healthy respect for the water."
So much blood. So sad.
LimbsBill Murray Fainting GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"Human body parts moments after they got hit by a semi truck… an arm about 35 feet from the head."
"Entering a friend’s place for the first time without prior knowledge that he was/is a hoarder at age 40. total shock. Dude has normal job, friends etc. But an absolute hoarder. Dead mice in the flat, trash in the kitchen reaching almost to the ceiling, mould everywhere on one wall of the bedroom. I didn’t dare to use the bathroom… Utter shock."
"I was waiting at a bus stop, and on the other side of the rather tall divider were three bikers waiting for the light behind a bus, at a major intersection. Moments later, another bus came up behind, but realised too late it had no brakes. Several people injured, but two of the three bikers were squished to pulp. One was thrown to the pavement on the far side of the road, and survived with injuries. I never dared cross the road and look on the other side of that divider. It was in the papers the next morning."
"I was no contact with my abusive addict mom for many years. She passed in 2020; a sheriff's deputy found her during a wellness check. It was declared that she had been dead for a couple of weeks in July heat with no utilities. My father and I drove to her house the day after they removed her body. You could smell the decomposition from a block away."
"She had cancelled trash services and had 3+ years of garbage bags piled to the ceiling in her garage. There were rats running all over the house. 99.9% of our family pictures were pissed on or eaten by rats and not salvageable. Both of her toilets were out of order and full to the brim with crap. Everything I saw in her house was absolute nightmare fuel."
Hands OffGet Off Me Fast And Furious GIF by The Fast SagaGiphy
"I watched a guy get sucker punched outside a club (not uncommon where I used to live) but he fell back and hit his head and a pool of blood started spreading from the back of his head. I always wonder whether he died/had long lasting damage."
If only we could take out our eyes and wash them of some of these sights.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Whether it's in family, friendships, or dating, we've all felt misunderstood at some point. But it seems especially common to feel misunderstood by the opposite sex.
Here are some key points that people wished those of the opposite sex would just understand already.
Redditor idontplayhockey asked:
"What is something you wish the opposite sex understood better?"
Compliments Go a Long Way
"A good chunk of the men who need reassurance are most likely not getting enough compliments in the relationship."
"This isn't always the case, but I always felt insane dating certain people, and then with the right person who complimented me, is genuinely attracted to me and initiated things, and who ACTUALLY loves me (I now think others weren't that attracted to me, even ex-fiance), and I have never felt more confident, and safe in a relationship."
"Looking back, my intuition was correct with the other people I dated, and that's why I never felt secure."
"If you wanted fries, you should have asked for fries."
For the Love of LEGO
"I don't drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, go to strip clubs, or play video games... My vice is LEGO (yes, I'm a f**king dork) and my wife just can't stop complaining about the LEGO."
The Dating Game
"Wish both sexes better understood biased selections. F**kboys, f**kgirls, arrogant egotistical people, and deplorable tw*ts will be overrepresented in the pool of people you encounter in a dating setting."
"Normal people form relationships, get tired of all the bulls**t, and 'age out' of the dating pool, all of which makes them underrepresented."
Stay the Same
"When I say, 'Just like that,' I don't mean speed up to 100 miles per hour."
"For both sexes, we are flawed people and we are not perfect. Stop expecting everything to be perfect 100% of the time. I'm far from perfect, but I strive to make myself better. I'm married guy."
Okay with the Friend Zone
"This might be specific to me, but... If I ask you out, and you say no, that's it. Like there's no lingering weirdness or anything. If you're not interested in me romantically, that's fine."
"I'm perfectly cool just being friends. I won't be awkward or anything about it, won't bring it up, won't bring it up to mutual friends, it was just a question."
"The friend zone isn't a bad thing all the time. Sometimes it's where the best friends come from."
"I genuinely have no clue about 99% of the mind games taking place around me."
"It's not as romantic, but plainly saying, 'I want the D' would fix so many issues in the communication department."
"Don't come to my place claiming to be interested in my hobbies but really after the D, because I will museum guide you through all that s**t that is my past time, and the idea of unzipping will scarcely occur to me."
"Just because you keep telling me it's okay to have emotions doesn't mean I'm going to burst into tears. I have emotions, they're just quiet and don't bother people."
"I'm not emotionally distant or unfeeling. I'm just not going to burst into tears because the dog died in 'Marley and Me.' I'll cry when my dog dies in 'My Dog and Me.'"
"How bad period pain can get for some women."
"Have you ever been WOKEN UP from pain at 3 AM that didn’t go away for at least a couple of hours so you just stayed awake because going back to sleep was definitely not happening?"
"Painkillers only work for me if I catch it BEFORE it gets bad."
"Just because you think I’m pretty, doesn’t mean I need you to send me a photo of your junk. Come on now."
"As a guy, I don't always want to have sex. Wanting to get in your pants isn't an indicator of liking you or not. Sometimes I just want to laugh and see how I enjoy being around you because most people turn out disappointing."
Happy to Help
"We're honestly happy to help you lift stuff and carry stuff and put things away on high shelves. We like being big and strong. But please don't take it for granted. Show your appreciation."
No Means No
"'No' doesn’t mean 'convince me.'"
Some of these examples were heartening, as they apply to both genders, but others, like no meaning no, are disappointing, as it feels like it's a concept all people should understand by now.