We all want to do good in the world. We try our best to live our lives by certain mantras and codes such as, "Pay it forward, do unto others, be the light you want to see in the others".... all truths yes, but, we have to be careful, some people will milk your soul bare by weaponizing that good spirit. Humans are flawed, and some are just empty narcissists that live their lives by taking advantage of others. And the kind hearted often reach breaking points, because can only be burned so many times. Help, but be careful. Shield yourself first. And always... ALWAYS.... get it in writing!!
Redditor u/mofoxx wanted everyone to share about the times they realized they needed to peace out by asking.... What was your 'F*** it, done helping others' moment?You're Stressed
jimmy fallon no GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphyWhen I dropped my rates significantly to help a struggling family with child care. Blended family needing to find childcare for their emotionally damaged children who had been hospitalized by mum's boyfriend.
Both parents worked and my wages where payed through a charity scheme.
It was hell. They where utterly useless as people let alone parents.
They took the crap and ended up basically doing nothing with the house or children and ended up owing me nearly 2K due to them committing benefit fraud and pocketing what they should have been passing on to me.
The final straw was when they asked me to babysit that night as they needed to 'go out on the lash, its been stressful' whilst telling me they couldn't afford food let alone pay me.
Never again will I fall for a sob story.
No Follow Through?
Was donating baby/toddler clothes to a mom in need through one of those Facebook donating pages. She didn't have a car, I did so I drove 30 minutes away to deliver the stuff all for free. Got in a bad accident less than 5 blocks from her house. So I texted her to see if she could come get what she was able to because my car was totaled. She wouldn't walk the 4 blocks then reported me to the group and got me kicked out for "not following through". I ended up with a fractured sternum, yeah Forget that crap, never again.
I'm Hiding
I'm a teacher. A parent of a former student contacted me in an emergency situation, couldn't afford to pay bills, and needed help. She was super helpful to me in my first year teaching, so I asked friends and family to help out and raised her about $2,000. Never again. She has contacted me every few weeks since then, always with a new reason why she needs more money (and when I offer food and clothing resources, she refuses it). It has placed me in such an awkward situation and I regret ever trying to help her out in the first place.
Won't you NOT be my Neighbor?
mr rogers GIFGiphyI have neighbors across the road who we extended ourselves to to help out because they had young kids and seemed to be struggling.
Well, they were really starting to take advantage to the point where we couldn't walk out of our house without them literally yelling for us because they needed a phone, a ladder, money, someone to drive them somewhere, diapers, our Wi-Fi password, our wood, etc. etc. This started happening everyday and multiple times a day. It became ridiculous and oppressive.
They have since pulled that crap with everyone else on our road, wearing out one generous person after the other. Once you realize people are merely moochers and are content to remain so, that's when you're done.
For the Kids
I had a coworker in tears once telling me she had nothing to feed her kids for dinner, no laundry soap to wash their clothes, etc etc. I fell for it, gave her money to buy the kids food and brought her some laundry stuff from home. The next day she shows up to work with two Redbulls and a breakfast sandwich from a drive thru coffee stand with her nails done. Never again.
Not Here
Not me but my parents.
My cousin moved in with us for two years when I was a kid, she's 18 years older than me. She ended up being a drug addict that smoked in the house, stole money, couldn't hold down a job, and mercilessly picked on my sister and I until the day she got kicked out.
That was almost 30 years ago. To this day my parents refuse to let anyone move in because they "just need a place to stay until they're back on their feet."
The Rough Patch
Met a guy who had hit a rough patch. We had great chemistry and he made me laugh (ugh the bar was SO low). He gave me a sob story of why he was getting kicked out of his communal house and I offered to let him stay with me because I live alone and have my own place.
HUGE MISTAKE! He hadn't hit a rough patch, he was the rough patch. Barely paid for anything and would get wasted while I was at work and be a total screwball when I got home. Got fired from his job, ate all the food I'd buy and make excuses as to why he hadn't found another job yet.
The absolute kicker was when I went home for my Nonna's funeral, he treated it like a mini vacation in my place. Invited friends over, played music so loud the cops got called and when he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, he was wasted at someone's house at 8 am. Never felt better than the day I kicked him out. No more financial and emotional abuse. Finally felt like my place was mine again.
I've learned an expensive lesson. Don't help people that won't help themselves. When nothing is their fault, there's a serious issue. Run fast and far.
Getting Mowed
gay lawn mower GIFGiphyHad a newish neighbor ask if he could borrow our lawn mower.... sure.
Well more or less every week he would come and get it out of our garage, use it to cut his grass, put it away without cleaning it or adding gas. In the fall we "mentioned" it was a good time to get deals on a new mower. He never talked to us again.
get it in writing always.....
In freshman year of college, my friend of about two years got kicked out of his parents house. He said he needed somewhere to stay "for the night" till his parents cooled off.
I said you can stay a week if you want but more than that and you'll need to pay me rent (he made pretty good money, more than me even).
I was kind of hoping to find someone to split the bills with anyway.
A week rolls by and he hasn't even looked for another place. His parents aren't letting him come back.
I ask him if he's going to stay, he says "if it's alright with you" I say sure, just pay me half the cost of the apt every month. He said he can't (I know damn well he can).
I say "well then you gotta go"
He asked if he could stay another week. I said no. He got pissed at me for that. I then got pissed at him for getting pissed at me. I gave you a place to stay and you are mad at me??? Totally ended the friendship.
Never let anyone into your place unless you have a signed contract.
Bye Sis
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphyWhen I rushed to another state about 2,000 miles away to help my sister because of a medical issue, and for whatever reason she decided to have her neighbor help her instead, without letting me know. It was 3 months ago and she is fine but still has not contacted me. That was the end for me.
Futon Tales
I posted a futon on marketplace and the first person that hit me up gave me a sob story about needing something for their kid to sleep on.
I was only asking $20 for it but they asked if they could get it for free. My wife and I agreed to give it away, so I took it to our meeting spot at Home Depot.
2 days later this guy had the futon posted in marketplace asking $50. My wife and I Facebook stalked him and his wife and everytime they posted it, we would hijack the listing letting everyone know the story of how they got the futon.
I don't give crap away anymore, no matter the story they give me.
I Hate Her
irritated dislike GIFGiphyI stood by my best friend when she cried to me about her husband cheating. And he definitely was cheating. They stayed married and said they work through it. Six months later she was screwing my husband behind my back.
Dead to Me
Had a friend years ago who was a bit self centered & prone to stretching the truth, but he was a nice enough guy with a rough backstory and my friend group liked him, so I cut him a lot of slack.
I like to host and I have friends staying over pretty regularly -- back then, I usually had one or two people spending the night on any given day.
Anyhow, over the span of a couple of years this guy starts abusing that -- staying over for days or even weeks at a time, eating my food and drinking my liquor without contributing, that sort of thing ... While constantly talking about his grand plans and day dreams as if they'd already happened. A little sad, but also pretty annoying after a while.
Anyhow, I sit him down one day and let him know he's gotta head home, and that he's free to come over and hang out but I'm not comfortable with him staying over for the time being. He leaves, I think it went remarkably well and head out to work...
...and it turns out that he broke in while I was away at work and stole a bunch of my sister's things because "his birthday was coming up and neither of us even thought to get him a gift."
It takes a special person to rationalize how burglarizing someone is really their fault.
Anyway, all slack and sympathy went out the window immediately... Called the cops and he's dead to me.
The Game
A "friend" of mine borrowed a game off me once. About month later I remembered an asked for it. he told me he couldn't give it back because he gave it to his younger brother for his birthday ... would have asked for money but i knew it would have been difficult and the way I saw it, was easier to just lose him as a friend. His friendship was worth less than the value of a cheap game.
Oh Hell NO.
I used to volunteer for an organization which helped women get jobs. They'd send baby sitters to women's homes so they could go to job interviews. It was totally fine if these moms did a quick essential errand, like grocery shopping, after their interview. I watched one woman's kids five times and assumed she just had bad luck in her interviews but she always came back with a fresh manicure. I learned she'd been blowing off the interviews the organization had been setting up to get drinks with friends or get her nails and hair done.
Oh Regina
Mean Girls Shut Up GIFGiphyI was working at a fast food place when I was a student. I usually did overtime to help everyone clean up and close the restaurant until about 1am because we were so understaffed.
I guess people got used to me staying late because one night when I was supposed to finish at 11, I overheard some of my colleagues (the stereotypical mean girls) say how bad the clients had cluttered everything tonight and how it was going to be a mess to clean up. Then they say 'but hey, [me] is gonna stay late tonight again, let's leave it to her, she always does the cleaning anyways', followed by laughing and some whining about me.
That night I clocked out at 11 after doing all of my tasks at the counter and left. The girls stared at me in shock and when I was outside I saw one of them standing in the middle of the restaurant with her hand on her forehead, looking at the mess she would have to clean before going home.
Weirdly, after that day, they started cleaning earlier without waiting for me to do everything!
The Dog Fight
One day I found a puppy, dirty, hungry, and just scared and lost. I gave him a good meal, and some love, and went to drop him off at the address on his collar.
The dude thanked me, then proceeded to beat the crap out of the dog (telling me to mind my own business when I tried to get him to stop), carried him by his collar to a 5 ft short chain in a muddy patch with a crappy broken 3-wall "doghouse" where I'm guessing the dog spent 100% of it's time.
I called the cops, but they did nothing (the dog technically had shelter, which qualifies bc 3 walls and a roof, even if it was filled with holes and it gets 20° at night here.)
ps. I stole the dog 3 weeks later.
Ungrateful...
Me and my gf were leaving a McDonald's and pulling up to the stoplight. There's this homeless old man that we've seen around the area ever since we moved here and my gf decides, since we've never given anything to this guy and he's always there, we should give him one of our Mcdoubles.
He comes up to the car, says thank you! And walks back to his corner as the light turns green and just tosses it on the road right in front of where we're driving. Lucifers_Ass_
The Spook
Over It Abandon Thread GIFGiphyAfter working free of charge as a freelance graphics guy to build my portfolio up, and having a client basically make the most minor of adjustments, and constant revisions - four posters which should have taken me a day tops really.... ended up taking 3 months. And when they wanted poster x4, I wanted money - ghosted.
Lesson. Learnt.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.