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People Share How They Prove Their Age When They Lose Their IDs

People Share How They Prove Their Age When They Lose Their IDs

People Share How They Prove Their Age When They Lose Their IDs

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We'll be completely honest, we forget or lose our ID's around here like it's a fashion trend. We've sat on it and snapped it into pieces, two have been lost to the briny depths of the seas off of Miami (which is pretty much in the Bermuda Triangle, so that's a special kind of lost) and one was swiped by someone's pet skunk. We couldn't make this up if we tried. If not having your ID were an Olympic sport, you'd be staring at our mug on a box of Wheaties every four years.

So one one Reddit user asked:

You're at a bar, but forgot your ID. How do you prove you were born in 1997 or earlier?

We clicked that link helluh fast. Ideally, we'd never want anyone to risk their jobs because of something we did. We know people can get fired for serving someone without ID, so we're not suggesting that. But, on the off chance someone was willing to bend the rules a bit, here are 20 of our favorite responses.

The Yearbook

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Went to a bar and few years back and a chick got in with her high school yearbook.

Facebook

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This happened to my wife about 5 years ago at a Halloween party at a bar. I wasn't very worried I just old her she was a pretty girl so she would get in to problem. We talked to the bouncer. I showed him her Facebook profile with her birthday on there and pictures from our vacation for verification. It worked and a great time was had by all.

How Rita Repulsa

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Show the bouncer my Mighty Morphin Power Rangers tightie whities, obviously.

The Flash

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Flash the bouncer. Either they will love it and let me in, or they will go:

"Yep, you're old."

And let me in. Win-win.

They'll Never Be This Cool Again

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In one spectacular instance the new girl at my favorite bar asked for my ID, which I didn't have.

I calmly reached up to the beam next to the bar, and pulled down a picture of me doing a shot with the owner of the bar that had been taken the previous halloween.

DUI

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I once managed to prove my age by showing the bouncer my DUI paper and printed crime report with my mugshot.

Cartoons

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I forgot my ID and the bouncer asked me what my favorite show was when I was a kid. I said Rocko's Modern Life and he let me in.

Fresh

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Now this is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside down...

The Song Of My People

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Sing them the song of my people

The AOL internet connection song.

Booooooooooooo-bip bip beep beep. Beeeeeeeee BRRRRRR Be BR

Solid Battle Plan

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Become a regular at your favorite bars and you don't need ID.

We Googled "Bingo Wings" - So Worth It

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Between the grey hair and bingo wings then add the flabby boobies. We're good.

Glory Days

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Tell him stories about how athletic and popular I was in high school, how I had tons of friends, and was the life of the party. Only a sad 40 year old would gone on about his high school career as if it were the pinnacle of his life.

An Honest Evaluation

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"Look, he lost his wallet last night, but he's here with six 28-year old guys and he's clearly not anybody's little brother because he's Indian and the rest of us are white."

Surprisingly effective considering we just saw the door guy turn away a hot girl with a fake ID.

We Forgot Those Existed

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I once got past a doorman by showing that I carry a checkbook.

Google

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I have a picture of my drivers license in my google drive. It worked for me 3/3 times

Pre-Lion King Elton John

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I pointed at the ceiling where an Elton John song from Yellow Brick Road was playing, and said, "I was 15 years old when this album came out in 1973". My co-worker (younger than me, but still old af) laughed his a** off. It worked.

Tap The Button But Don't Hold It Down...

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Explain the procedure for a 3 way phone call on a landline.

Still Too Soon

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I say the words "Littlefoot's mom" and immediately burst into tears.

This Lost Art

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I can operate a rotary dial telephone

Make Like A Tree And...

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Cut part of your arm off and let the bouncer count the rings.

H/T: Reddit

People Share Their 'Sex Sent Me To The Hospital' Experiences

Reddit user Kurkil asked: 'Have you ever had a sex injury? If so, what happened?'

Woman grabbing her lower back as if in pain
Sasun Bughdaryan/Unsplash

"Sex is not fun," said nobody ever.

Let's face it: giving in to our primal urges and engaging in various forms of sex is a natural way of having fun and enjoying our bodies.

Until something goes wrong in the heat of the moment.

People don't think about it, but the truth is, sex and pain are not mutually exclusive.

But pain is not a typically the desired outcome.

Strangers online shared their experiences that didn't lead to a happy ending when Redditor Kurkil asked:

"Have you ever had a sex injury? If so, what happened?"

People made surprising discoveries after the fact.

Accessory To Pain

"After bar in a pretty aggressive makeout session. Something felt weird so I excused myself to the restroom. Looked in the mirror and saw that her hoop earring had impaled my cheek and was just dangling off the side of my face."

"Pulled it out, swabbed some rubbing alcohol on it, and got back to business. It was super weird because there was literally no pain at all. Like it must've missed every nerve ending"

– ManBroCalrissian

Upon Oral Examination

"I have 'jaw and throat sprain from vigorous oral sex' in my medical record.....I went to emergency thinking I had mumps. I did not."

– elletee80

People got more than they bargained for while getting some action.

What The Buck

"I once dislocated my shoulder while going down on my girlfriend. I had my arms under her legs and she jerked one leg suddenly, hitting my upper arm and dislocating it."

"In the emergency room, the person doing intake listened to our story and said 'I’m going to put down "horseplay" to which my girlfriend replied, 'what am I, a horse?'”

– avec_serif

Literally Mind-Blowing

"Pretty standard: bent the pole between thrusts."

"Pretty rare: During a BJ I got Transient Global Amnesia (TGA) which caused me to lose the previous 48 hours. It can be triggered by orgasm and it was scary AF. Forgot how I got where I was, where I was going, who I was meeting. I remembered my name, address, family etc but had no idea what day of the week it was... it all came back after 24 hours with the exception of a 20min period."

– haylofx

Bigger Isn't Always Better

"When I was single and dating around, thoroughly enjoying my divorce, I would chat with my female friends about my encounters with men. It wasn't a secret that I prefer them big. Then one day, I met this guy who was gorgeous, smart, funny, great kisser, EVERYTHING I could have ever asked for! We go to the bedroom, his unir is too big. It was painful. Tried it again a few weeks later, because your cervix changes during certain times of your cycle. Still doesn't fit. Had to say goodbye to that one..."

– Dependent_Top_4425

Aggressive Pole-Rider

"Bent my unit in half to the point I screamed and rolled over."

"Next day she showed up with an ice cream cake saying 'sorry I broke your d*ck written on it.'"

"Said the guy at dairy queen lost his sh*t while writing it."

– Spenraw

Miscalculation

"Went to flip over onto my back for missionary, overestimated how much bed was there, fell off the side and slashed my back on the edge of the dresser."

– cheeezus_crust

Beware of liquids.

The Ole Switcheroo

"Not mine but a friend. Hand sanitizer and lube in similar containers near the bed resulted in a sanitized vagina."

– lopaco93

Effects Of Alcohol

"Not an injury per se, but we had to stop and I had to run to the shower immediately."

"We had both been drinking and decided to move it into the bedroom. I was on top. We were both super into it and I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a big swig straight from the bottle. He thought it was hot and decided he wanted to do a shot off my body... he missed some, and it continued down... I was really into what was happening, so it took a second for the pain to register."

"Holy sh*t, that burned. I hopped off of him, explaining that I felt like I had been set on fire, and ran to the shower to hose off."

"Lesson learned - whiskey does not belong anywhere near there."

"Still one of my favorite sex fail stories."

– Katemonster89

Lesson Learned

"I learned the hard way never to got eat hot wings and then go down on your date. I thought I was doing a good job, I got a black eye from her heel from it 🤦♂️"

– houseDJ1042

Safe sex is important.

But no one ever thought that would ever extend beyond protecting oneself from getting STDs.

Let's just say an emergency trip to the hospital can come with quite the story.

black and yellow poison sign

Mikael Seegen on Unsplash

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When I was in college, my friends and I went to Starbucks one December night. We had just taken the hardest of our finals and knew we did a terrible job and decided to go to Starbucks to cheer ourselves up.

One of my friends ordered a latte while my other friend and I ordered frappuccinos. The barista got super offended that we would have the audacity to order cold drinks on a cold night. She told us we should be ashamed of ourselves for making her make cold drinks on a cold night. Seriously!

I almost changed my order, but luckily, another barista came over to take care of us. As she put in our orders, she said the original barista we dealt with always judged people's orders and we should just ignore her.

This wasn't the last time we were judged by this barista, but we learned to ignore her opinions.

She is not the only person to get offended by something ridiculous or completely inoffensive. Redditors know this all to well and are eager to share their stories.

It all started when Redditor AdRealistic878 asked:

"What is the most ridiculous thing you've seen someone get offended by?"

A Greeting Is A Greeting...Or Not

"I had a boss get mad at me because when she said "Good morning" I responded with "Hello.""

"She got in my face and said "No.... I said 'Good morning'. Say it back.'"

"I didn't stay there long lol"

– isabelstclairs

"This reminds me of a time I was riding my bike early one morning. I was going up a steep hill, breathing hard, and a jogger running past me down the hill called out "good morning". I just nodded in their direction and continued my slog."

"The jogger stopped and yelled "hey, I said good morning!" I still can't understand the sense of entitlement, that somehow I owe them a verbal return of their greeting despite the obvious circumstances."

– FrightenedOfSpoons

"This reminds me of the first time I went backpacking. I was going up a steep subalpine mountain side on a trail that was basically a ladder made of rocks. I was breathing hard. Two men were coming down and gave a cheery “hello”. I said “hi” all redfaced and out of breath. One of them looked so offended."

– GogoYubari92

Not My Fault!

"When I worked at McDonald’s they discontinued the smartie McFlurry for a short time. When explaining to anyone who ordered one, you’d have thought I threatened their family or something with how offended people were."

– SarcastiKatt

Speak My Language

"I've seen people get very offended by a South Welsh accent. Accusing people of being racist and faking Indian accents when they're just speaking in their native accent."

"The internet is wild."

– Broshida

Freedom Of Speech?

"I was out for lunch with a colleague at a local pub and we were discussing a news story from the morning about a bus crash."

"A woman on a nearby table took great offence to this and stormed over to us and demanded we stop talking about it in public."

"We both just stared at her, not entirely sure if she was serious."

"She was."

"We carried on discussing it and she flounced out."

– ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

Just Trying To Help

"I politely and quietly told a woman on line at the pharmacy that the price tag was still hanging on her jacket sleeve. She went on a long loud rant about my bad behavior."

– VosTutZich

"This is why mom taught me Don't talk to strangers."

– UnicornSlayer5000

Spoilers

"I got yelled at for ‘spoiling’ the Tudors. Like my god."

– altdultosaurs

"Imagine being that uneducated that you think someone is "spoiling" the Tudors."

– narniasreal

"Making a joke about Ann Boleyn. Apparently, it was too soon."

"I wish I were joking."

– LadyoftheHounds

"Woah, people are still losing their head over it?"

– SpittinImageofLlama

This Is Nuts!

"Not me, but the Korean Nut Rage incident. The Vice President of Korean Air (daughter of the CEO) was in first class and got furious that she was served nuts (like the peanuts you get on a flight) in a packaged bag rather than a wooden bowl. She made the captain kneel and beg for forgiveness and hit him, then forced the plane to return to the gate since she'd just fired the captain. Crazy stuff."

– FancifulPeaches

Well, Obviously!

"Me growing a beard. According to my brother's mother-in-law, only junkies grow beards, and that's so they can hide their drugs in it. I kid you not!"

– Grunthos_Flatulent

Watch Out!

"I was standing with my trolley waiting & had a lady freak out “You’re going to hit my son!”. I wasn’t even moving so it was a huge overreaction, but I understood that her small son may be hidden from my view behind the trolley & she was making sure he doesn’t get hit when I do move whilst not realising he’s there."

"I looked for him but couldn’t see anything. She continued to freak out at me “Don’t hit my son!” & physically restraining my trolley which is not moving."

"It turned out she meant the adult male next to her scanning things at the self scan till. I wasn’t going to hit him anymore than any fully grown adult in the supermarket."

– stowberry

Don't Lose Your Hair!

"My kid has very curly hair. When said kid was about three years old, a random woman started berating me in public because my kid’s hair was curly. She was convinced I’d had it permed, and how horrible to do that to an innocent 3 year old. I was the worst parent ever. Apparently she’d never seen someone with naturally curly hair before?!"

– Frozen_Feet

Stay Seated

"Being offered a seat on a crowded subway. I offered a woman who was 30 years older than i was my seat . She flew into a tirade yelling nonsense."

– rayneglyons

Talk About An Overreaction!

"I’m a Vet Tech, and people will LOSE THEIR SHIT if you misgender their pets. Jesus Christ. 🤦🏻 The folks who get the most offended are:"

"1. The ones who have chosen to name their male dogs a classically effeminate name."

"2. The ones who have chosen to name their female dogs a classically masculine name."

"Had a guy walk into our animal hospital with his Briard a few weeks ago. Wasn’t a known client/patient, so we asked what the dog’s name was. He responded with “Joy.” Kept talking to the guy about our services when Joy put their paws up on the counter to look at us. I said, “do you have a question, sweet girl?” Dude recoiled like I’d just uppercut his dog through the ceiling and roars, “HE’S a BOY” before dragging the dog out the door in a huff."

– ItsStrib1978

Taylor Swift was right: You need to calm down!