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People Share How They Managed To Recover From A "Rock Bottom" Low Point

People Share How They Managed To Recover From A "Rock Bottom" Low Point
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

If you haven't experienced a true rock bottom, consider yourself lucky. Feeling hopeless and depressed is no bueno. But once you're out of it, you become grateful for being able to live a fulfilling life. Here are some success stories of leaving rock bottom behind.

u/justsananth asked: [Serious] How have you managed to recover from your lowest point in your life?


A good list.

  • I put down drugs and alcohol, after quite a struggle. They were my (short term and not a good one) solution to my inner issues I couldn't seem to face. Numbing emotions and thoughts is not dealing with them.
  • used my time with a clear head to sit down, do a LOT of listening to wisdom I had previously written off, or just didn't accept because of my negative views. I began to dig deep and find out what was so wrong in my life - basically, understand what was causing me disharmony - the idea that the way the world IS, what I want in the world, and how I view the world weren't jiving together. When they all match up, you're in harmony.
  • began a program of self care that I had previously given absolutely no shits about. Eating well and regularly, getting exercise, going to a doctor/dentist instead of putting it off, taking care of bills/legal shit promptly, MEDITATION, and taking time for my interests instead of working as much as possible.
  • reconnecting with people in my life, whether that be old friends, people I see every day, or even strangers in public. Bonding with people is very important, and was hard at first - I was so used to isolating. But I forced myself.
  • I started giving of myself wherever possible, so long as it didn't hurt me. Acts of charity, of any kind, are a great way to feel purposeful, and damn good about yourself. Helping others helps us. However, it's important this isn't done as a way to avoid focus on solving your own problems, which was a big issue of mine.
  • Look for a group of some kind you can be a part of. This could be a group of people who do outside activities, like hiking biking or rock climbing. Kayaking. Or a group who plays board games. Just something where people are committed to being there, and foster a sense of community. Positivity is important.
  • I stayed committed to certain principles, like trying to make the best decisions for myself that I could. Previously I was very self destructive. I'm trying to root that out.
  • Lastly, trying my hardest to stay positive under all circumstances. I was terribly negative. This includes how I think about myself, as well as the words I speak to others. If it's not helpful, I try not to say it. The hardest part of this is my humor - I've been negatively sarcastic for so long, it's a very hard habit to break.

Oh yeah - I started forcing myself to ask for help. If you were trying to carry a railroad tie you couldn't move alone, you'd ask for help. Same goes for what's going on mentally and emotionally. IF YOU CANT CARRY THE LOAD ALONE, ASK FOR HELP. Sooooo hard to do, and yet, so god damn easy.

PlowUnited

A true success story.

Giphy

I did a PhD and got hired at a very large state school. I was hired to direct a very niche program, and I'd spent much of my life dreaming about having the job. Two years later, I was burned out, had the start of a drinking problem, and realized I couldn't do it. In December I went to the department chair and resigned, effective the end of that school year. During the conversation I found out that if I hadn't resigned, they were going to fire me.

It was the low point because I'd wanted the dream job, I'd worked hard to earn the dream job, and then I'd failed at the dream job and had to figure out what next.

Since I'd had a TA teaching position in grad school, I had the credentials to teach a core class, so I landed a job at a much smaller college, a podunk in the middle of nowhere, because it paid enough that I didn't have to move back in with mom. This is where I began to recover.

Recovery consisted of just showing up every day and focusing on what was in front of me. For the first year, I tried to decide what my life was really going to be -- I did a semester in an MBA program then dropped out; I considered taking the LSAT and going to law school, but realized that would be a train wreck. Eventually, I tried to put it out of my mind and just wait for something to develop.

One day, a student said to me, "You are the happiest person I know." I was dumbfounded. "What do you mean, happy? I'm not happy." She said "Oh yes you are. You're always whistling, and you're relaxed about things, and you're always excited when other people have good news, and you say goofy things to keep our attention. You're just really a happy person."

That conversation stuck with me. Sixteen years later, I can still remember her face, and the exact spot I was standing in when we had that talk. I started to think, Maybe I am happy. Maybe this is what my life is going to be. Maybe that's not so bad. I leaned into teaching, and starting actively trying to improve at it, and over the couple of years that followed, I woke up to the realization that teaching is really meaningful and satisfying, and that if I worked at it, I could grow into a halfway decent teacher.

Today I teach at a tiny liberal arts college with minimal research expectations. I love my students and I love what I do every day. Friends of mine thought I was crazy when I resigned from the R1 without another job lined up, and a few told me for years and years that if I'd worked hard enough, I could've held on to that job. If I had, today I would be bitter and miserable. I'd doubtless make a lot more money, but it would in no way have been worth it. Losing the dream job is the best thing that could have happened to me.

Repent2019

This is so wholesome.

You're killing it! Instead of laying in bed another day and just crying, you got on here and you asked for help.

You already overcame your lowest point! I'm so proud of you. That takes guts.

Maybe now you're still at rock bottom, but you're standing up. Tomorrow, you might have the strength to start looking up. The next day, you start thinking about a plan to get out. No action needed; just imagine all of your ways out.

Keep asking for help and you'll be amazed at the tools people will throw down here to help you out.


Everyone has been here or will be here. Remember that there is no better solid foundation on which to rebuild yourself than rock bottom.

You can be whoever you want now. You can get different friends and start over without explaining why, even from right here on Reddit. You can start helping others out of their rock bottoms.

Talk to people and let the village hoist you up, my friend!

We are brothers in our lowest point. You are not alone and your future is bright!

kawaiian

These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...

Appreciate what's around you.

As cheesy as it can sound, fall in love with the little things. Appreciate the rain, certain sounds or smells, how the light makes things look like or such. When there's not much to grab on, those little things help to keep going.

I also decided to never make expectations on things, events nor people. Just live as it comes.

Make your surroundings prettier, clean your room, put always fresh clothes. Make small changes to like the place you live in or you spent most of your time.


Treat yourself well, be kind to yourself. Eat well, fresh and healthy food in adequate portions.

Surround yourself with people that are a plus in your life, that care about you and are real friends. I recently learned to not seek unhealthy relationships and that sometimes its okay to break contact with people that are not good for you. Choose your friends wisely.

jun-schn

Something good came out of it.

Giphy

Started fostering... My husband passed away and I had an empty house. When everything goes bad/wrong the best way out is to focus on someone else. Your issues begin to pale.

KJsNowWhat

So much can change in five years.

Felt pretty lonely and super unhealthy. Got on my bike and started riding. Lost 30 kilos. Met a girl on Tinder, dated, moved in together, bought land, built a house, got married (currently on my honeymoon).

It's been a wild 5 years.

mindsnare

DO THIS.

I got laid off, took the first job I was offered. It sucked, but it was a paycheck.

I then applied for two to three jobs EVERY DAY.

I worked my day job. But my real job was finding a new job.

And got it.

I've been with my new job for 5 months and I love it.

tontovila

Solid advice.

Just gotta accept it. Life is life and there ain't shit you can do about it unfortunately. I've learned to accept life they way it comes. When you die you take nothing with you. Why lay on you're death bed eaten up by the sh*t you can't control. Take a shot, drag a bowl. Maybe cry a little bit, but you gotta move on and push forward to the next adventure.

RottenBeard90

DBT is life-saving.

I had a couple low points over the last five years. Suffered from severe depression and un-diagnosed BPD during the course of getting my PhD in physics. I self-harmed for years and had more than a few suicidal episodes. Now, six months out from getting my doctorate, grad school still sucks but I'm feeling much better and motivated to finish because I'm excited about the life waiting for me after I'm done.

My best friend noticed when things started to go downhill for me and urged me to go to therapy. He's been there for me every step of the way and I'm so grateful for him. I got a great therapist but after three years of seeing her and thinking I was improving but then going downhill again, I had about had enough. I had more good moments than bad but I was so convinced that I should be recovered by now that the bad moments were even worse than before. On a good day I signed myself up for a dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) program, and immediately regretted it- I don't need this, what am I doing? But it's been such a huge help.

Some gems that I learned in this program: life is worth living even with pain in it. That's very important and I had spent a lot of time in the past thinking that this wasn't true. You ultimately have to be motivated to improve your situation for yourself, though. I had spent too long living for other people and that wasn't going to get me anywhere. Another one: your emotions are always valid. Always. That doesn't mean that you can't change your emotions, or that you need to act on them if it's going to make the situation worse.

I had a lot of help from my friends and professionals along the way, but the real turning point happened when I started to motivate myself to get better. That's not to say that you can just wake up one day and say "I don't want to be depressed anymore" and expect to be cured. You just need to want to get better in order for therapy to really work.

TL;DR I recovered with a combination of extensive therapy, support from my friends, and self-motivation. No one of those things would have worked on its own.

junipurrberry

Never give up.

Time, effort, professional help and plenty of soul-searching. You seriously would try many things - if not everything under the sun, to make yourself feel better and recover. Plus the method and need changes based on the day - sometimes having people around helps tremendously while other days being alone (not brooding alone mind you) helps more than having company.

All I can say is never give up and that there is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. It's not easy nor will it be a fast journey, but hopefully you get through to the other side and find contentment and relief.

Nix_Argent

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.