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People Share How 20-Somethings Can Ruin Their 30s

We are very sorry, this is going to be one of those lists where you realize that you are, in fact, ruining your own life.

Not to worry-we're in the same boat as you. Your 20s are a hard time, you're just learning what life is, and your expectations versus your reality quite literally never match.

But if you can figure out a plan, you'll be okay. Just watch out for these pratfalls.


u/bbq_chicken_boob asked:

What are things people do in their 20s that ruin their 30s?

Here were some of the answers.


How To Be Immortal

Eat junk and not exercise. Get in the healthy habits early, maybe then you won't notice the encroachment of death as soon.

HeinousEncephalon

I think this the difference between people who are still living their life at 40 and those who are already falling apart in their 30's

Generous_lions

Taking The Leap

Think that their personality, interests, life, etc. are fixed and not be open to trying something new. I've wished I learned to play guitar since I was 16, but didn't think of myself as "musical." Now I'm learning at 38, and regretting that I didn't spend the last 22 years playing.

robbythompsonsglove

Make Sure It's Planned

Have unprotected sex that leads to unwanted children.

I have children that my wife and I planned and wanted in our late 20's/early 30's. We love them and, while difficult sometimes, they have made life better.

We also have family members who had unplanned children early in life and their 20's/30's have been an extreme struggle.

Meatros

As We Go On, We Remember We're Not 22 Anymore

Giphy

Get addicted to drugs and alcohol. I am just freshly in my 30's now, and my god I squandered the majority of my 20's either being on something or recovering from doing drugs and alcohol.

Luckily I was able to pull myself out of it, but the first 7 years of my 20's were spent getting gradually and gradually more addicted and bottoming out.

sprinklememaynee

Early Back Issues

Lift heavy objects with their backs instead of their legs.

Also, bending down at the waist instead of lowering at the knees.

My back is f*cked, and it didn't have to be.

MorganJb

Winners Only, Please

Stay with fixer upper partners in the hope that they will become better.

There are more dating options in the 20s. Don't waste that valuable young and hot time with losers.

Ethelfleda

Spent 9.5 years with a fixer upper from the time that I was 19. I'm now 29 years old and single for the first time in my adult life. I wish someone had given me this advice years ago. It was scary starting over again when I did. I wish I had realized I was wasting valuable time waiting for someone to change when he had absolutely no intention of ever even meeting me halfway.

fluorescent_noir

Early Onset Aging

They start slowing down. I'm not sure how else to describe it but once we're out of school and get into a normal work/home/sleep routine most of us slow down our daily activities significantly.

You know how you've read that being sedentary can be as bad as a normal cigarette habit? That's what I'm talking about.

It's not that your metabolism comes to a screeching halt through your 20's - it's that you are freshly in charge of your own habits and have more opportunity to make the choice to slow down. Less activity + same/worse eating habits = weight gain and health problems.

Compare high school where most folks are up and down throughout the day carrying all materials from class to class and then part time work in the evenings usually involving some kind of on-your-feet customer service kind of job. It's no wonder that by the time we only have to put in ~40 hours a week that we're relaxing during our off-hours. But commuting to work to sit on your butt 8 hours and then commute to home to sit on your butt for another 6-8 hours... That's a killer!

I'm not saying everyone does this but a huge HUGE amount of people fall into this habit. This sets the pace for early onset aging conditions that can start popping up as early as your 30s.

Take a look at the humans that live longest. What is the number one thing they all have in common? They kept their momentum and continued to be active.

I'm in my 30's and my circle of friends are 30's-60's. The 'relaxed' friends are the ones starting to have regular standing doctor's appointments to manage their newly developing conditions where those of us that keep up on our activity and exercising are still in relatively good working order.

core-void

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring

Go to concerts and loud clubs without hearing protection. Once tinnitus starts, it doesn't go away. MAWP!

Here's my advice... Go to a music store and buy earplugs that musicians use. They will lower the volume of the sound that makes it to your eardrums, but will do it equally across all of the frequencies so that the.sound doesn't sound as muffled as the old style ear protection sounds. Party on!

Pork_Chap

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Giphy

Not letting injuries heal.

Ive learned this the hard way. If u keep using something that hasnt healed (in my case , my left shoulder), it turns an acute, very fixable issue into something chronic and far more complicated. If i had spent 2 or 3 weeks away from the gym and the basketball courts after i had first injured it, I would have saved thousands in physical therapy, Dr visits, MRIs and not to mention, drastic quality of life difference.

todi41

Unsustainable Financial Decisions

Giphy

Living within your means but not in a sustainable way. Sure, you can afford to order food every day and have nice clothes and still pay your bills. But do you want to still rent a room in a basement when you're 35?

(this is the pep talk I give myself when I want to spend money foolishly)

thw15

Definitely Needing Healthy Habits

Don't get fat. If you are fat, lose the weight. Make an investment in your future and change the behaviors that led to your being overweight. It might require therapy to get to the bottom of it—do it.

On top of all the stuff everyone knows about with diabetes, and cancer, and dementia later in life, etc., you've got more immediate issues: If you're a woman and you're overweight, you can become estrogen-dominant, which causes a shit-ton of problems (and makes you gain more weight). It can lead to uterine fibroids, worse periods, irregular periods, bad cramps, fertility issues, etc. Your hormones are way more important than you know. Throw one thing out of wack and other parts of the endocrine system start adjusting accordingly and it causes a cascade of problems. Hormones affect everything. Ev.er.y.thing. Help them stay where they're supposed to be by being a healthy weight.

If you're a guy: Belly fat decreases your life expectancy, increases risks for cancer, heart disease, and all the rest, but more immediately: excess weight can make your peepee not work right. Fat messes up men's hormones and can lead to erectile dysfunction. Plus, gain enough belly fat and get enough of a fupa, and whoosh! You have smol peener.

Lose the weight while you've got youth and metabolism on your side. And if you don't have a healthy relationship with food, GET ONE. Go to therapy and work your shit out if that's what it takes. You will save yourself a world of angst, medical problems, and money in the long run.

CuppaJeaux

It Does Take Tons Of Work

Not work hard enough to build a career. It requires sacrifices to become established, and you cannot mix business with pleasure. You either party with your friends or you work for your boss and climb the corporate ladder. If you value financial and professional security then you have to give up your childish ways.

rich_da_hoser

The Dang Capitalist Society

Giphy

Everyone in there 20s make poor life choices. They think about the present and not the future. They want the next best thing such as the new iPhone or a new TV and start using credit cards or start gambling. Then when they're in there 30s they're still paying of payments from those things.

Best thing you can do is never take out a credit card, because it's there for you to just keep using. You never actually pay it off because as soon as you've paid for something, you end up putting something else on it.

If you can't afford something then save up for it until you can. Don't pay monthly for anything other than your gym membership and phone contract.

Just stick to using a direct debit.

bliizard

Only Onward And Upward

Dwelling on what you did or didn't do in your 20s while you're in your 30s will get you every time.

You'll miss opportunities, have too much fun, or not enough, no matter what you do, and that's just life. You will have regrets.

If you want your life to go somewhere, make goals and do your best to achieve something, but keep in mind we can't all be Bill Gates... Or even Keith Richards. Most of us will be average worker bees, just keeping the bills paid to fund our true passions, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Try not to f*ck your credit score or your back too badly, stay out of jail, and try not to get too fat, and odds are you won't have it too rough when life hands you some lemons.

OceansOfUmbrellas

It Is Still Early

Smoking. Not to imply that once you're addicted it's forever, of course, but starting a drug habit in your 20's because you think it makes you look cool can and will fuck you down the road. I'm talking about more than just cancer- my grandmother smoked for half of her life, and she can't tell when food in her fridge is rotten when for the rest of the family it's pungent.

rashirsch

Sunrise, Skin Set

Suntanning, using tanning beds. Acting like 'that first burn' is a good 'base' or at all wise. The effects are so delayed it's hard to be motivated about protecting your face *(and shoulders, and all your skin), but I'm paying for it now with interest.

I wore more sunscreen than most of my peers, used tanning beds sparingly, but still have to pay the piper with all the spots and sun damage that finally showed up in my 30s. more than just the vanity is the risk of skin cancer after all the years of damage.

NoirIdea

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.