We are very sorry, this is going to be one of those lists where you realize that you are, in fact, ruining your own life.
Not to worry-we're in the same boat as you. Your 20s are a hard time, you're just learning what life is, and your expectations versus your reality quite literally never match.
But if you can figure out a plan, you'll be okay. Just watch out for these pratfalls.
Here were some of the answers.
How To Be Immortal
Eat junk and not exercise. Get in the healthy habits early, maybe then you won't notice the encroachment of death as soon.
Taking The Leap
Think that their personality, interests, life, etc. are fixed and not be open to trying something new. I've wished I learned to play guitar since I was 16, but didn't think of myself as "musical." Now I'm learning at 38, and regretting that I didn't spend the last 22 years playing.
Make Sure It's Planned
Have unprotected sex that leads to unwanted children.
I have children that my wife and I planned and wanted in our late 20's/early 30's. We love them and, while difficult sometimes, they have made life better.
We also have family members who had unplanned children early in life and their 20's/30's have been an extreme struggle.
As We Go On, We Remember We're Not 22 AnymoreGiphy
Get addicted to drugs and alcohol. I am just freshly in my 30's now, and my god I squandered the majority of my 20's either being on something or recovering from doing drugs and alcohol.
Luckily I was able to pull myself out of it, but the first 7 years of my 20's were spent getting gradually and gradually more addicted and bottoming out.
Early Back Issues
Lift heavy objects with their backs instead of their legs.
Also, bending down at the waist instead of lowering at the knees.
My back is f*cked, and it didn't have to be.
Winners Only, Please
Stay with fixer upper partners in the hope that they will become better.
There are more dating options in the 20s. Don't waste that valuable young and hot time with losers.
Spent 9.5 years with a fixer upper from the time that I was 19. I'm now 29 years old and single for the first time in my adult life. I wish someone had given me this advice years ago. It was scary starting over again when I did. I wish I had realized I was wasting valuable time waiting for someone to change when he had absolutely no intention of ever even meeting me halfway.
Early Onset Aging
They start slowing down. I'm not sure how else to describe it but once we're out of school and get into a normal work/home/sleep routine most of us slow down our daily activities significantly.
You know how you've read that being sedentary can be as bad as a normal cigarette habit? That's what I'm talking about.
It's not that your metabolism comes to a screeching halt through your 20's - it's that you are freshly in charge of your own habits and have more opportunity to make the choice to slow down. Less activity + same/worse eating habits = weight gain and health problems.
Compare high school where most folks are up and down throughout the day carrying all materials from class to class and then part time work in the evenings usually involving some kind of on-your-feet customer service kind of job. It's no wonder that by the time we only have to put in ~40 hours a week that we're relaxing during our off-hours. But commuting to work to sit on your butt 8 hours and then commute to home to sit on your butt for another 6-8 hours... That's a killer!
I'm not saying everyone does this but a huge HUGE amount of people fall into this habit. This sets the pace for early onset aging conditions that can start popping up as early as your 30s.
Take a look at the humans that live longest. What is the number one thing they all have in common? They kept their momentum and continued to be active.
I'm in my 30's and my circle of friends are 30's-60's. The 'relaxed' friends are the ones starting to have regular standing doctor's appointments to manage their newly developing conditions where those of us that keep up on our activity and exercising are still in relatively good working order.
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring
Go to concerts and loud clubs without hearing protection. Once tinnitus starts, it doesn't go away. MAWP!
Here's my advice... Go to a music store and buy earplugs that musicians use. They will lower the volume of the sound that makes it to your eardrums, but will do it equally across all of the frequencies so that the.sound doesn't sound as muffled as the old style ear protection sounds. Party on!
Here Today, Gone TomorrowGiphy
Not letting injuries heal.
Ive learned this the hard way. If u keep using something that hasnt healed (in my case , my left shoulder), it turns an acute, very fixable issue into something chronic and far more complicated. If i had spent 2 or 3 weeks away from the gym and the basketball courts after i had first injured it, I would have saved thousands in physical therapy, Dr visits, MRIs and not to mention, drastic quality of life difference.
Unsustainable Financial DecisionsGiphy
Living within your means but not in a sustainable way. Sure, you can afford to order food every day and have nice clothes and still pay your bills. But do you want to still rent a room in a basement when you're 35?
(this is the pep talk I give myself when I want to spend money foolishly)
Definitely Needing Healthy Habits
Don't get fat. If you are fat, lose the weight. Make an investment in your future and change the behaviors that led to your being overweight. It might require therapy to get to the bottom of it—do it.
On top of all the stuff everyone knows about with diabetes, and cancer, and dementia later in life, etc., you've got more immediate issues: If you're a woman and you're overweight, you can become estrogen-dominant, which causes a shit-ton of problems (and makes you gain more weight). It can lead to uterine fibroids, worse periods, irregular periods, bad cramps, fertility issues, etc. Your hormones are way more important than you know. Throw one thing out of wack and other parts of the endocrine system start adjusting accordingly and it causes a cascade of problems. Hormones affect everything. Ev.er.y.thing. Help them stay where they're supposed to be by being a healthy weight.
If you're a guy: Belly fat decreases your life expectancy, increases risks for cancer, heart disease, and all the rest, but more immediately: excess weight can make your peepee not work right. Fat messes up men's hormones and can lead to erectile dysfunction. Plus, gain enough belly fat and get enough of a fupa, and whoosh! You have smol peener.
Lose the weight while you've got youth and metabolism on your side. And if you don't have a healthy relationship with food, GET ONE. Go to therapy and work your shit out if that's what it takes. You will save yourself a world of angst, medical problems, and money in the long run.
It Does Take Tons Of Work
Not work hard enough to build a career. It requires sacrifices to become established, and you cannot mix business with pleasure. You either party with your friends or you work for your boss and climb the corporate ladder. If you value financial and professional security then you have to give up your childish ways.
The Dang Capitalist SocietyGiphy
Everyone in there 20s make poor life choices. They think about the present and not the future. They want the next best thing such as the new iPhone or a new TV and start using credit cards or start gambling. Then when they're in there 30s they're still paying of payments from those things.
Best thing you can do is never take out a credit card, because it's there for you to just keep using. You never actually pay it off because as soon as you've paid for something, you end up putting something else on it.
If you can't afford something then save up for it until you can. Don't pay monthly for anything other than your gym membership and phone contract.
Just stick to using a direct debit.
Only Onward And Upward
Dwelling on what you did or didn't do in your 20s while you're in your 30s will get you every time.
You'll miss opportunities, have too much fun, or not enough, no matter what you do, and that's just life. You will have regrets.
If you want your life to go somewhere, make goals and do your best to achieve something, but keep in mind we can't all be Bill Gates... Or even Keith Richards. Most of us will be average worker bees, just keeping the bills paid to fund our true passions, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Try not to f*ck your credit score or your back too badly, stay out of jail, and try not to get too fat, and odds are you won't have it too rough when life hands you some lemons.
It Is Still Early
Smoking. Not to imply that once you're addicted it's forever, of course, but starting a drug habit in your 20's because you think it makes you look cool can and will fuck you down the road. I'm talking about more than just cancer- my grandmother smoked for half of her life, and she can't tell when food in her fridge is rotten when for the rest of the family it's pungent.
Sunrise, Skin Set
Suntanning, using tanning beds. Acting like 'that first burn' is a good 'base' or at all wise. The effects are so delayed it's hard to be motivated about protecting your face *(and shoulders, and all your skin), but I'm paying for it now with interest.
I wore more sunscreen than most of my peers, used tanning beds sparingly, but still have to pay the piper with all the spots and sun damage that finally showed up in my 30s. more than just the vanity is the risk of skin cancer after all the years of damage.
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
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It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/