Bad news is something you relive forever. Learning about death and tragedy changes the course of life, it's unforgettable because you always remember the moment your life split in two. We always discuss the awful things we can never unsee.... we should also cover our ears. The screams still return in the dark.
Redditor u/ArethaZum wanted to see who was willing to share somethings they wish they had never heard by asking....
What is the most heartbreaking thing you've ever heard of?
A Miracle
snakes miracle GIFGiphyMy Mom was in a Coma, her mother, my Grandmother came to visit. At this point my Grandmother had buried 5 children and a husband. She sat next to my mom and told her to wake up because she wasn't going to bury another child.
There wasn't a dry eye in the room. It was heartbreaking.
Guess who woke up 2 days later? Yep, my Mom. We were making decisions for a long care facility etc. and she spontaneously comes out of her coma.
We gave credit to Grandma and my Mom's stubborn attitude. Mom lived another 13 relatively healthy years, far longer than she should have and Grandma passed away peacefully about 7 years after my Mom woke up from the coma.
Mixed Emotions
When my grandma died my dad refused to go to the funeral. I was just a young man and didn't know anything so I tried to convince him to go. I drove by the house on the way.
He was crying, but this man was no wussy. I'd never seen him cry before, ever.
I told him to come with me - there was still time to make it and say goodbye... but he stopped me he said:
No I'm crying because this is one of the happiest moments of my life. I can finally go on without her. It's like my life starts now.
God that woman screwed him up.
Clint
When Clint Malarchuk had his throat accidentally slit by a skate during an NHL game, his main thought was to get off the ice as soon as possible so his mom wouldn't see him die.
He lived, barely.
"Malarchuk's life was saved due to quick action by the Sabres' athletic trainer, Jim Pizzutelli, a former US Army combat medic who served in the Vietnam War. He gripped Malarchuk's neck and pinched off the blood vessel, not letting go until doctors arrived to begin stabilizing the wound."
Farewell
disney love GIFGiphyMy grandad crying as he kissed my mum's cheek and stroked her hair about 15 minutes after she had passed away. My mum was my grandparents only child. To this day I have no idea how they have managed to carry on.
bad conditions
I have a friend whose only child died suddenly in college from a never-diagnosed heart condition. Then her husband passed away a year later after a long struggle with cancer.
She always tells me to hug my loved ones tight and tell them I love them, because you never know what might happen, so I'm passing that advice along now to you all too.
I have a friend whose 9 year old son died suddenly from an undiagnosed heart condition. At first they thought it was appendicitis. Then they found out the mom and younger brother had it too. Now they're on medication but they had to lose a son/brother to find out.
The Merciful
When my nana was in a hospital after a stroke, my aunt was visiting her after work, and was brushing her hair and asked her, "do you know who I am?" And my nana answered "you are a merciful lady." It broke my heart. She didn't remember any of her children. She died the next morning.
The Good Dude
My cousin was a really good dude. One of those smart handsome jocks that's also incredibly nice to everyone. Went to college in Chicago and ended up in a bad part of town at a bar to watch a bears game. He had no idea he was at a bad part of town and even though there were some sketchy characters there he chose to believe in the good in people and not judge.
Some guy angry that this young white college kid was at his bar bashes his head in with a beer bottle while my cousin is watching the game. Total sucker punch. The bottle didn't break and now my cousin his forced to life with my aunt and uncle and has the cognitive abilities of a seven year old. Freaking cousin prays for his assailant almost every night.
The Scream
I was at a lake when a kid drowned while playing frisbee in the water. The mother screaming for her child was probably the most soul tearing thing I've ever heard.
Yes You Can
My son: "I CANT DO IT MOM! I AM JUST STUPID!" "I just want one good grade just like the others.." "I think I am just really dumb!"
It breaks ny heart. He does lag behind. He does have a learning disability. I did not realize he started to notice the difference until he was temporarily homeschooled because of COVID. He felt safe enough to express his true feelings and it kills me inside to see him struggle.
BUT: I managed to get him some help for self confidence issues and I organized a tiny "school practice corner" in our home where I am helping him with homework - tailored to his level by his teacher.
Last night, he finished a full page of maths without a single mistake. He cried happy tears and for the first time in a whole year I heard him say "So I CAN do it!!"
Forget Them
phaedra parks bye felicia GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphyGetting called annoying by someone you really care about.
I got called annoying and i guess i was. It was my need for approval that made me that way. They started ignoring me and you know what, my life is better without them and i have good friends who like me for who i am. You will get better people. Screw them.
Lessons at the Car Wash
True Story that happened 5 days ago. I went to a car wash and the older gentlemen asked me to turn my car off (I didn't realize it was on). We got into conversation and I just explained that I am new to where I live and I just said I wasn't familiar with everything. I needed loonies to continue my car wash, grabbed some change and asked him for some extra loonies and toonies, which he promptly got.
When he came back he was complementing me on the studded winter tires I had and the car I had just bought recently (2019 Mini Cooper Countryman). He came back when my car wash ended and reached into his pocket put 2 dollars in and told me to use spotless touch because it looks good on black and mirrors and stuff.
When he left I couldn't find him to say thank you, I called the store and got him on the phone to say thanks and he told me I reminded him of his son who had passed at 17 a couple weeks prior and started tearing up. I pulled over because my heart stopped and he told me "My son didn't live long enough for me to teach him everything I knew, when I saw you, I saw him, and wanted to teach you something I never got to teach my son."
TLDR: I went to a carwash and the old man there taught me something new because I reminded him of his son who died two weeks ago.
X
Sad Tears GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyI recently had a fight with my mom for some stupid reason and we haven't spoken for like 3 weeks and two days ago, while i was still in bed i overheard her telling my father that even X was a better child than me. X is this ex-best friend who i called out for spreading rumors among my classmates about my mother. And now that same mother decides to praise X, knowing very well what she did. :(
The Voice
A week after my brother got diagnosed with cancer (leukemia), my dad told all of my family, but waited to tell my Aunt and Uncle. He wanted to wait because in 2014 their son died from leukemia at 18 yrs old and my brother was also 18 when he got diagnosed. He wanted to figure out how to tell them because my cousins death destroyed them, especially for my Uncle.
When they asked to speak to my brother over the phone they both started crying because my brother sounded exactly like their son.
They talked to my brother as if they were talking to their son and apologized for his death while continuing to cry. They both feel extremely guilty for their sons death and the only reason my Uncle hasn't killed himself is because he still has another son and doesn't want to leave him without a father. It also doesn't help that their son died on the anniversary of my grandpa's death who also died from leukemia.
Stay with Me
When I was 8 my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. For three years she fought it and in those three years I saw her a handful of time cause she was always in the hospital. One day my dad says let's go see mom. I get all excited and worked up cause I hadn't seen her for 7 months. She was staying at a friend's adult family home and I remember walking down this small hallway and hearing the nurse tell my mom "stay with me, stay with me, stay with me."
When I walked in my mom was laying on the bed with 3 nurses next to her. They were trying to stop her from bleeding out of her colostomy bag that looked like a red balloon ready to pop. She died before the ambulance even got there.
Waterworks
My neighbor's children. They're 8 and 10. I only know that because i came home one day and my wife had them at our kitchen table. Their dad's a single, working dad so I'm sure he tries his best. Haven't met him too much. But one day i guess the kids asked my wife if they could have a cup of water because dad was at work and their water didn't work. We sent them home with a few cooked meals and a case of water. For the first time in about 20 years i cried quietly.
While she Slept
Sad Face GIFGiphyI saw a photograph in an article about Syrian children separated from their families. The girl had drawn on the ground a sort of stick figure female that was her mother that she missed so much. She would try to hug the ground to get some comfort. The image was of her laying inside the outline arms spread trying to hold her as she slept.
The Boy
Today, I read about a policeman who picked up a little boy wandering around, alone at night trying to sell his teddy bear for food (In the US). I cried like a baby for all of the other kids who don't get rescued by policemen.
Be Good
As my senior season of football was coming to an end. A coach of mine had one of Those heart to heart talks with me. About how no matter how "Good" you may be in life such as the way you treat people and show kindness, there will be others who just seek to cause harm. His brother died earlier that week, shot point blank after helping a woman in front of a 7/11 I think late at night from a creepy dude who was harassing her.
Really hit hard especially since he wasn't one to open up and share sensitive experiences.
Swept Away
black&white love GIFGiphyA few years ago my brother (a firefighter) saved a man stuck in a tree over a flooded river. he had been holding his 80 yr old father for as long as he could until the river swept him away.
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"How do you know when someone is really in an open relationship, and not a cheater pretending to be in one?"
When In Doubt, Don't...
"If you're feeling off about it, don't do it."- Massive-Ad7628
Bad Feeling I Anticipate Problems GIF by America's Got TalentGiphyConfirmation Needed From Both
"When the partner openly knows and acknowledges it."- EngineeringVirgin
"I was seeing a man who was married."
"He assured me that their relationship was open, that he had full permission to do whatever, and that if it would make me comfortable he would give me his wife’s number and she and I could chat."
"We saw each other for about four years."
"I went to pick him up at his house a couple times and his wife would say 'have a nice date!'."
"That’s the way to do it."
"Everything on the table."
"If there’s some sneakiness, something that makes you feel it’s not quite right, you need to listen to that feeling."- theyarnllama
"Ask to meet their partner."
"If they’re really open, it shouldn’t be a problem."- bloomautomatic
Threes Company Reaction GIF by moodmanGiphyAn Oldie But A Goodie...
"Ask them to pinky swear."- Still_kinda_hungry
Give Your Intentions A Second Thought As Well
"Agh."
"Ok so I’m in an open relationship with my partner and he hooked up with this girl, and we called her to go get a drink with us and she was like 'I knew he had a girlfriend, but I didn’t know you knew'.”
"After that I def didn’t want to hang out with her because she thought she was facilitating him cheating on me."
"Not cool."
"Intentions matter."- Physical_Witness_922
Ask And Answer
"In my experience, ask literally anything about what type of poly or open they are."
"Also anyone who isn't willing to get/show a recent std test isn't worth the risk."- Midori8751
just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyInstructional Videos
"My SO and I just make videos explaining the situation and ground rules."
"That way, our potential partner know what they are dealing with."- TagtheCat
Doesn't Hurt To Check...
"I slept with a woman who was in an open marriage."
"Her husband called to check on her and ask if she was ok."
"She said she was fine and that was the extent of the call. I think that’s a pretty good indicator."- Fit-Concern-81
It's All About The Reaction
"When they introduce you to their SO as their lover and the SO is fine with it."
"Open relationships rarely sneak around on each other."- welltriedsoul·
“'So like…. You know your husbands screwing Ashley right….??'”
“'Yeah I know'.”- AkKik-Maujaq
It Must Be A Mutual Decision
"In my experience, one of my ex's said we were in an open relationship, however I didn't know that."
"So yeah, that's a cheater."
"I briefly dated someone that was in an open relationship (the couple were long distance)."
"I spoke on the phone with the girlfriend before any sex happened so we could all be on the same page regarding boundaries and intentions, what protection will be used, testing, etc."
"It really wasn't awkward, and I appreciated knowing that everyone was aligned."- korova_chew
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyIf They Say No, That's A Problem
"Ask them if you can talk to their partner."- vivi2626
Don't Ask, Don't Tell... Don't Date!
"I've been poly for closing in on 2 decades."
"I used to run a large poly meetup in a huge metro area."
"I've seen it all, personally talked to several thousand+ poly folks over the years, etc."
"I REFUSE to engage with anyone in a DADT policy at all at this point."
"HARD F*CKING PASS, the vast majority of the time its cheating."
"And when its not I swear 95% of the time is because the couple with the DADT policy hasn't done any work around opening up their relationship and there are a LOT of problems involved."
"And I want nothing to do with that huge nightmare of a cluster f*ck anymore."
"Here's my perspective and where it comes from."
"The amount of cheating I've seen is beyond staggering."
"A huge percentage of the women I know have run into TONS of men that are cheating and try to use poly, dadt, etc as a guise to do it."
"I have zero reason to put that much trust in someone I just met. It's the same reason I ask for proof of STI testing."
"I can't understand people with the attitude of 'if you can't trust them why are you with them' the whole point is you don't know them that well why would you trust them?"
"This is one step in establishing some trust."
"The ethical part of ENM is a big big deal to me, and I refuse to be complicit in cheating and be put in an unethical situation."
"If cheating was rare it would be a different situation, but f**k it's common."
"I've verified 100% of my partners are in ethical situations, and none of them had a problem with it."
"I've had a number of their partners thank me for actually checking."
"I'll accept a few options for verification, a phone call, voice chat, a brief text exchange while my date is present, a prerecorded voice / video message, or showing me snippets of a conversation where being poly is discussed / confirmed and there is a long-standing chat history with said person."
"Most of the time I had already met or seen their partner, so I already knew it was ethical."- f*cklifehard
Schitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphyMany couples have said that their communication and commitment has greatly improved after opening their relationships.
When one half of a couple seeing other people causes pain and unhappiness, however, it seems clear that that relationship is not open in a healthy way.
Particularly if only one person is truly benefitting from it.
Redditor leilavanora wanted to hear about the people who left this world too soon, so they asked:
"How did the kid from your school die?"
So many people gone before their time!
Gruesome
Episode One Armchair GIF by PBSGiphy"Fell off a jet ski and then got hit by it when the driver turned around. Drowned."
lindseys10
"Jet skis are insanely dangerous. If you read up on jet ski deaths they are awful much more gruesome too."
anightclubfordogs
Family Issues
"There was a boy from a family of alcoholics, whose parents divorced, he lived with a mom who was a very heavy drinker and a stepdad. Stepdad had a son who spent quite some time in mental facilities and rehab because he f**ked up his brain with drug use. The son eventually came home to live with his father and my classmate. One time the classmate accidentally saw his stepbrother sniffing glue from a bag."
"Stepbrother got mad, poured kerosene on him, and lit him up. When his mother saw her child was burning she jumped out the window and ran away while his younger siblings were trying to put out the fire. Unfortunately, once they managed to he was already dead."
Healthy-Gain-6586
April
"End-stage renal disease. She was doing good for a couple of years and waiting for a transplant while getting regular dialysis but ended up passing away in 11th grade."
whiteoff44
"That's sad. Plug for Organ donation awareness: April is National Donate Life month. Every day, 17 people die in the US waiting for an organ transplant. If you aren't an organ donor already, sign up at https://www.organdonor.gov/sign-up"
jackruby83
It was devastating
"He froze to death in his sleep after passing out in the snow. It was a school trip with his class and they had some beers but probably some of the first few times they tried alcohol. It was devastating. They were moving from one house to another and he had said he needed a break in between but everyone forgot or just thought he was in another house."
"It sounds like an obvious mistake but it's not necessarily that cold even if it's snow, especially after a drink. To lie down and chill on a snow pile with a good jacket is no problem but if you pass out and forget well damn."
Fit-Childhood879
WTF
Shock What GIF by Paramount+Giphy"In middle school, my neighbor accidentally shot and killed his best friend while hunting. Years later he was beheaded by the Taliban along with two English men. Unbearably sad."
Suspicious-War-8839
Guns and hunting. That is just constant danger.
No Violence
No Way Do Not Want GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy"Wrestling team bully with anger management issues punched an elderly man in a road rage incident and the elderly man shot him dead and was acquitted as it was deemed self-defense."
evolution9673
So Fragile
"He was playing football and randomly passed out. Never woke up again."
Aints*itAngel
"Happened on the soccer pitch next to ours when I was playing 5-a-side with my work buddies. The kid who looked late teens fell down hard and didn't come back up again. They tried CPR and the defibrillator from the office before the paramedics showed up."
"We just stood there speechless watching it go down. And while it looked super bad, they took him away on a stretcher still working on him so I didn't actually find out he died until a week later when we were back for our usual slot and they held a silence."
"Never even found out the kid's name but I still think about it sometimes. Life can so be fragile."
ianjm
Wired
"An electrician screwed up rewiring her family’s house so a live wire was touching a metal pipe connected to the bath. Her mum was wearing rubber work boots when she filled the bath so wasn’t electrocuted but she must have accidentally brushed against the tap or gone to add some more water while submerged and was killed instantly. We lived in a very small town where everyone knew each other so it really rocked our community. She was in the grade above me so would have been around 10-11."
TimedDelivery
Be Safe
Driving Time Lapse GIF by YevbelGiphy"Like 5 of them died of drunk driving accidents, three of them at one time, Little redneck school in the middle of nowhere apparently people seem to think drinking and driving is the only way to have fun."
Maleficent-Touch-67
Life is fleeting and fragile.
Appreciate every second, kids.
