It's a time of hardship and hard truths in the world. So perhaps it is a time to own up to some hard truths we've all been hiding from for awhile.
The thing is, these truths will be hard to face at first, but after the initial hardship, they will set you free.
u/RealityPizza asked:
What's a hard truth most people need to hear?
Here were some of those answers.
It's Not Cool To Be Edgy
You will never get praised for being different and having different beliefs you will just get pushed away and there's a high change you will end up being alone most of the time, but that is not necessarily bad
Not A Persona
That being rude and "intimidating" isn't an interesting part of your personality. I admit, I used to do this too, but I learned that no one thought I was smart, witty, or intimidating, and that I came off as a clueless and edgy a**hole
Knowledge Is Power
You aren't special. But the great thing is, this knowledge can be a weight off your shoulders. You don't need to be special. It's ok not to stand out. Accepting you're not special, and being ok with just being average, with just being you will allow you to stop striving for the unattainable, for perfection or greatness (which is really just seeking recognition from others). It will help you find happiness that much faster.
Besides, you don't have to be special to the world, only to a few people. True happiness is being satisfied with who you are and what you have. And weirdly, that's pretty special in and of itself, since it's what everyone in this world is really striving for.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Fairness Or Equality?
Fair isn't equal. People conflate the two as synonymous when they are not. Fair means that everyone gets what they need while equal means that everyone gets the same regardless of need.
We, culturally speaking, focus a lot of our energy on making everything equal which a endless uphill battle because it just exposes more and more "problems" or "issues" because objectively speaking everyone is not equal. People make more money than others, or have a better socioeconomic network, or are just flat out more intelligent. We will never be equal, at least not within our current cultural institutions. We need to shift focus on being fair to everyone and stop singling out causes to crusade equality. Fight for marriage for everyone. Fight for fair wages for everyone.
Blind Eyes, Deaf Ears
Most people will be happy to complain about the world but are actually part of the problem. Most people are hypocrites and like to blame others to hide their own insecurity and apathy. People think hating the faces of these problems is enough and that there's nothing they can do about it.
People complain about Amazon and Jeff Bezos all the time but have Amazon prime accounts and don't support small businesses.
People will complain about the state of our government but not vote or be engaged in local government.
People talk sh!t about Bezos not donating large chunks of his wealth but have never given a dime to charity in their lifetime.
People like to talkabout some youtube chick cut up a few fishes inhumanely but turn a blind eye to meat farms and the low standards large meat industries actually impose on their animals.
As a liberal, it hurts me to say this but there are many people who can actually pick themselves up by the bootstraps and get what they want but choose not to. Sure there are billions of others who can't but I hate it when I see people who come from middle-class America complaining about how they can't get what's rightfully theirs because of the upper class when they did nothing but spend all their free time partying or drinking. You can argue the system we are taught itself teaches failure but I think with how accessible data is a lot of people choose the realities they live in.
Just Stop With The Mean Words
Talking to people like you do on the internet will get you straight up knocked out if you do it in real life. Something to consider when we all go back to our normal lives after so many months of being pricks to strangers.
Maybe start practising now, in case you call the person in front of you at mcdonalds in a few months a c*nt for calling it a muffin and not mcmuffin.
It Only Takes A Moment
Most people don't care about you, your accomplishments and what you look like. Even friends are happy/sad/angry for you mere seconds before forgetting.
Hard truth as it can be demoralizing but also it takes a weight off your shoulder. Live freely, for yourself (be mindful to respect other's freedom still)
Badgering The Witness
If a person acts like they aren't interested in you, they aren't. You aren't entitled to their attention or affection so stop it. The idea that persistent badgering will make them change their mind needs to go.
Ah Yes, An Angel Wizard
It is none of your goddamn business how someone else lives their life. If it doesn't directly impact you, leave them alone.
"But being fat is so unheal-" Is it affecting you? No? Shut up. None of your business.
"But that's a stupid thing to spend money-" Is it making your life harder? No? Shut up. None of your business.
"But it's sinfu-" Does their sin send you to Hell? No? Shut up. It's none of your business.
To boil it down: unless someone is asking you to get involved, don't goddamn get involved. You aren't being helpful. You aren't the Wise Angel Wizard that found the key to fixing them. You aren't the Big Goddamn Hero saving the day. You're just a nosy, pushy jerk who can't mind their own business.
I Can If I Try
You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose.
It's surprising how many people don't understand what this actually means.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Image by elizabethaferry from Pixabay |
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."
<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."
<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>"I was already pretty cynical..."
<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>"I used to daydream..."
<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...
<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>"Acting like a clown..."
<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.
<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>"To be fair..."
<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>"She got tired..."
<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>"Looking back now..."
<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>"The world is wider..."
<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>"I already knew I was quitting..."
<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>High school isn't easy.
<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough
<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love
<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>A Bare Bones Story
<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>Tipping Over the Edge
<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>Optics
<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>Always a Reason to Stay
<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>For the In-Laws
<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>A Sudden Shift
<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>Slow Fade
<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>Wise, But a Little Sad
<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay |
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.
"I was so terrified..."
<p><span>Let herself in my side door, after we had broken up, sat on my bed in silence, waited for me to wake up, just staring at me in the dark. I was so terrified, not knowing who it was, my adrenaline went off and I pushed her off the bed and across the room. She said "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry," and let herself out. I've locked the door every night since. This was 3 years ago.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotm7te?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NE1NE1NE1NE1</a></p>"I didn't believe him..."
<p>He broke into my second-floor apartment through a window while I was out of town. Tracked dirt through my apartment, took a bath, didn't drain the tub, and left. He called me and told me he was going to break in. I didn't believe him...so weird.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotv7i7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">rinacolada38</a></p>This next one is just odd.
<p>"A" for effort, though?</p>"She spread a false rumor..."
<p>She spread a false rumor about me f****** trees, and then went through all the effort of photoshopping pictures of me doing so.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotbxia?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">froopty1</a></p>"The times I left her alone..."
<p>She was a snoop. The times I left her alone in my apartment she'd go through my things. My financial records, which I keep in a filing cabinet, my dresser drawers, my closets. I only discovered that she did it when she slipped-up and revealed information she'd only have if she snooped.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotc8l2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LiterallyOuttoLunch</a></p>"Thoroughly explained to me..."
<p>Thoroughly explained to me how he studied negging and how he used it on me. Also called me 50 times one time because I wouldn't return a text.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotdsd8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">moscamoto</a></p>"Went through my phone..."
<p>Went through my phone when I was asleep and texted every female (I save everyone on my phone using their full government names) that she was my girlfriend and they'd better back off or she'd come after them and do them physical harm.</p><p>The thing is, the only numbers I have on my phone are all family. So I received multiple texts and calls the next day asking if I was okay or being held hostage.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotulpd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Deswizard</a></p>"I figured it out..."
<p>My ex would steal my panties from the laundry hamper in my bathroom when he would come to pick up our kid, then try to sneak them back the next time. I figured it out fairly quickly, then wouldn't allow him in my house to use the bathroom when he was picking our kid up. Grossed me out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotj69k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lastsasohysant</a></p>Do these people think the other person won't figure it out eventually?
<p>Seriously. The nerve.</p>"My most recent ex..."
<p>My most recent ex has decided to stalk me, so that's fun.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gottggc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gottggc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HumanResourcesIRL</a></p>"Not long after her decision..."
<p>An ex of mine began referring to herself with my last name as if we were married. This was when I was in undergrad and had absolutely no intentions of tying knots other than my shoelaces.</p><p>Not long after her decision to take my last name, she stopped taking birth control and failed to inform me. I only found out because a mutual friend of ours (more her friend than mine) casually mentioned it to me, as if I had known. I noped the f*** out of that relationship not too long after.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gou2k18?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shaoting</a></p>In case you haven't figured it out already...
<p>...people find this behavior unsettling. It's wrong. No one deserves to feel afraid for breaking up with someone. How would you feel if someone violated your personal space? How would you feel if someone invaded your home and took your things? You wouldn't feel safe, would you?</p><p>Have some stories of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>Babysitters Share Their Craziest 'Well, This Kid Is F***ed When They Grow Up' Experiences
Babysitters and daycare professionals have access to a unique vantage. As the trusted adults left in the room with a child or children, childcare workers are the ultimate flies on the wall.
And when a childcare worker performs that role for an extended period of time--an entire career in some cases--they become privy to a whole collage of different kids who come from different homes.