Some people eat to live. Others live to eat.
When you come across a dish that transports you across dimensions, into a world of pleasure and taste, it's hard to imagine how you lived without. Then, your mouth starts to burn, your stomach starts to churn, and you get the sweats at the dinner table in front of all your friends.
Why would food betray you like this?
Reddit user, u/yeah_yeah_aight, wanted to hear what's the worst of the best when they asked:
Impossible To Hate. Impossible To Clean.
Ever had a fresh Jackfruit? They taste delicious, like a cross between a leaflet pineapple and a banana, but good god the sap... The sap of a jackfruit is a construction grade adhesive, and it is nearly impossible to open and eat without getting it everywhere. You can just barely get it off is by [scrubbing] with oil and then soap and water.
A Lot Of Work For Little Reward
Any sort of shellfish with the shells still on, you lose a lot of meat in the shell, and most of the time is spent getting the meat out. Same for boned meats. It has a better flavor than boneless in most uses, but is annoying to get off the bone.
It's Like You're Doing A Choreographed Dance
Boiled Crawfish 🦞 Those little suckers are so dang good, but holy cow! Pinch the tail off, then peel the shell from it. If the person boiling doesn't know what they're doing, then this can be a hellacious step. Eat the tail meat (one bite), SUCK THE HEADS (yummy yummy), then crack the claws if they're big enough to have some meat. Now, all that might not seem like a lot, however, you must remember that each step is PER CRAWFISH (or per bite, rather). Don't get me wrong, they're most definitely worth it, especially if the boiler knows wtf they're doing.
ETA: after scrolling down (way too far imo) I found that there are several people who agree!
This is a Quebec thing, we call them Tire d'érable, or maple taffy. It's that thing you see on promotional stuff where they pour hot maple syrup on snow and turn it into a lollipop. The first lick is great while it's cold and theres still snow sticking to it but every lick after that is a sticky syrupy mess since the syrup warmed back up and is becoming liquid again
Those crystals quite literally get everywhere, and they're distinctly sticky, so your fingers will get all sugary from wiping them off your legs.
Prepared Correctly, The Mess Is Always Worth It
I am late but ribs. You have to rip them apart and sometimes have to use a knife and the sauce gets all over your face (horrible feeling if you have acne) but they taste so good.
Mouth Gear Betrays You
Such a pain in the a-- when you have a permanent retainer in your lower jaw after having braces for four years. Makes it damn near impossible to get it ALL out when flossing and brushing your mouth, especially since you can't see if you got it all off of said retainer. Can't enjoy a good milk chocolate with soft caramel without debating in my mind if I really wanted to deal with stuck pieces the rest of the day or not
Juicy To A Fault
A nectarine that's so juicy that when you bite into it the juice runs down your arm and drips off your elbow so that you have to stand over the sink with your shirt off to eat it.
Also, You Know, The Portable Cooker Fire
I have a really high spice tolerance, but the one time I went I had a really bad sore throat and we got the spiciest soup there. It was so good so I kept eating it but oh god it hurt so bad
Why Would You Ever Eat A Whole Artichoke?
Whole artichokes. If you've never had one...you're basically ripping apart a f-cking massive flower and you have to rip out fluffy flower bits and hack chunks off and cook it forever.
Also I live somewhere where crabs are pretty much life...and it's so much work for so little meat, I don't usually even bother.
You Might Be Allergic
Kiwi. It's so painful but worth the swelling of the tongue
Oh so is that a thing that just happens with kiwis? Here I thought I was mildly allergic. Not that that stops me from eating them.
Mangoes, they are my favourite fruit but least favourite to clean up
Just eat them over the sink while shirtless.
Sugary At First, Deadly In The End
Any sour candy with the sugar crystals on them. They're so good until you've had a certain amount and then you just start scraping the roof of your mouth and your tongue raw
Really Any And All Garlic-Blasted Food
There's a place near me who makes a pizza with 40 cloves of garlic and about a pound of spicy pepperoni on it. It is probably my favorite food but I am the stinkiest MF-er alive the next day.
Where All My Early 00's Middle Schoolers At??
Those caramel apple lollipops
The question is, how DOES one eat these...
relax your jaw so your teeth touch the caramel, get your teeth stuck, wait, no, help
When The Inside Is Worse Than The Outside
Pineapple - so nice but they literally eat your mouth (or the enzymes do)
I remember having a freshly picked pineapple in Costa Rica. So damn good, but my tongue was bloody afterward.
"I'll teach you to eat my body!"
King crab is the worst. Bastards will stab your buttery fingers.
King crab is easy. Smaller crabs, that sh-t is cold long before you eat it all. Busting your @ss for mere morsels.
Armor And Bones
Most people in the west consider carp to be a trash fish. You catch it, and then you throw it away. But it's actually the first domesticated fish, farm-raised for thousands of years in China. It's a delicious fish that takes on the flavor of whatever you decide to spice it with. And it can be cooked in a number of ways.
However, it has a million tiny hair-like bones and it is a pain in the -ss to clean and fillet. I think that's mostly why people don't eat it when they catch it. It's just really difficult to get all those bones out.
I've found the easiest way to deal with those hair like bones is to either cook chunks of the fillets in a double broiler or to pickle the fillets. Both methods completely dissolve / remove those hair-like bones so you don't really have to mess around with them. They just kind of disappear. But for a large fish, with a good meaty fillet, it's in my top ten common fish to catch and eat.
As a runner-up, Gar is also a delicious fish that many people don't consider eating. The hardest part about cleaning a Gar is cutting through their armor. And I don't mean scales or skin, I mean it's like cutting through thin steel. You need tin snips or the sharpest knife in the world.
But once you get through that, you get two long backstraps that firm up and honestly taste like chicken. They have a texture when cooked like a firm chicken breast. And like carp, they also kind of take on the flavor of whatever you spice it with.
Neither species tastes "fishy" at all and are fun to prepare and cook and eat.
But They're So Tasty...And So Painful...
Prickly pear, also known as cactus fruit.
These are a pain in the -ss at every step. Picking them is a huge risk for getting stabbed by cactus needles, peeling the skin off is way more challenging than other fruits and then they are full of seeds that cause major GI discomfort if you bite into them by accident.
Tell Your Dad To Get A New Hobby
My dad makes a really delicious cherry jam, but he doesn't remove the stones, because "spitting them out is part of the experience".
It's Not Worth It. It's NEVER Worth It.
Pain [in] the butt seeds, and the juice REALLY stains.
One time I spend god knows how long opening a pomegranate, finally got all the delicious seeds out, took a bite.... and found out I'm allergic to pomegranate and I did all that for nothing
We Have A Winner
There's a type of wild asparagus in the south of France that's absolutely delicious to eat. But you can only eat it in small quantities, as too much will give you diarrhea.
So quite literally a pain in the ass
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