Just as fast as you fall in love is just as fast as you can fall out of love. Sometimes we're blindsided by lust. We must go in ready and astute. Love is a tricky mistress, so maybe read "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert" by John Gottman before tying the knot. Marriage is not always the best choice. Case in point...
Redditor u/PhilipLiptonSchrute wanted to know what couples had to share about love by asking.... What's the fastest you've seen a couple go from married to divorced, and what caused it?
50. I Meth You forever....
The husband had an unsolicited outburst at a family dinner, "I KNOW YOU GUYS KNOW I DO METH! AND YOU NEED TO BACK OFF ABOUT IT!" wife didn't know; her dad didn't know; nobody knew. ThaiJohnnyDepp
49. Viva Las Vegas!
Some friends, who had been dating for a few months, got married in Las Vegas as sort of a drunken joke. The girl found out she would lose a lot of her trust fund because of being married. A gaggle of 4 lawyers were flown in and got a very quick retroactive annulment. Marriage lasted 4 days, except legally it was declared to have never existed at all. They dated for 3 more years then broke up. picksandchooses
48. Target Practice....
Next door neighbor got married. Less than 2 months later she moved out, said he was abusive and a drunk. A couple of weeks later he shot and killed their neighbor through the front door after an escalating feud involving the neighbor's dog getting shot with a bow and arrow. jjpearson
47. Day one....
Not sure how long it took the divorce to actually happen, but I went to a wedding where the bride didn't go home with the groom afterwards. There wasn't any cheating, she just decided she didn't want to be a military wife. They were together before he enlisted, so I think part of it was that she wasn't ready to move away from her family. It just sucked that she waited until that day to tell anyone. karethon
46. Texas Middleground?
My cousin and her first husband got divorced after about a month because one of them lived in Houston and the other in Dallas and they never really agreed how they were going to deal with that.
I'm sure there were other things too, but that was the official story. HelloIAmHawt
45. 10 Seconds IN....
I went to a wedding where the bride got drunk and the groom picked up her phone and saw that she was sexting a coworker during the entire wedding... He told the officiant to not file the paperwork. Great reception though.
This occurred at the end of the reception as they were leaving to go to the honeymoon suite (the story is she was very drunk and her phone kept getting notifications so he picked it up).
They did not go on their honeymoon and they returned the gifts to everyone. The guests weren't told about what happened for a couple weeks as the bride was trying to save the relationship. I was also not privy to the legality of the nuptials not being submitted to the city clerk, so I can't help on that front. human2be
44. I Do. Surprise!
Years and years ago, my Uncle's girlfriend planned a wedding and invited everyone and didn't tell him until the week of. I don't know the whole story about why she did it but he went through with it and quietly got it annulled and broke up with her. littlesmama12
43. Ho-Ho-Ho!
My friend married this woman after years of dating. They were together about 6 months, then on their first Christmas, he got her a present and she got him nothing. Later that night she left their house and didn't come back until the next morning.
Apparently she had made an account on some dating site on Christmas, met a guy, and slept with him that night. She came clean the next day, but that was the end of their 6 month marriage. arcant12
42. Oh Baby!
A relative of mine had a marriage last less than 3 weeks. They had been together for a couple years and even went to premarital counseling at their church for a few months to get ready. Their wedding was super lavish and it was clear a lot of prep and money went into it. At their wedding they announced they were expecting their first child. Everything seemed great.
Unfortunately the whole thing blew up when the wife discovered he had been cheating on her for almost their entire relationship with multiple women. She found this out while in a foreign country on their honeymoon, 4 months pregnant. I know from her mom that she had complications in her pregnancy that they attribute to the stress of all of this.Stranger0nReddit
41. What about Zelda?
My dad and his second wife made it like not even four months before she left and I never saw or heard from her again. She said she was going to give me an old Nintendo 64, she never did. Boa-in-a-bowl
40. Passion Wanes....
I know two couples who got married for the sole purpose of having sex together. Both marriages lasted a year combined. GohanSawsWood
39. Not so "Special"
My wife's family's neighbor's daughter got married and threw a huge wedding day bash like spent 50-70 grand. Then not even 2 weeks later got divorced. She had been cheating on her husband throughout the engagement but still wanted her 'special day.' I heard later on that she had asked her mom if she had to live with her husband after they got married. TheBoBReaper
38. Last Night a DJ... nevermind...
I work as a clerk at a Family Courthouse.
Bride slept with the DJ. At the reception.
New record for the office pool.
EDIT: to be fair the divorce was about 2 months after the wedding when the husband was told by the maid of honor. Still, wild story. trampledbytramps
37. Take a slower 'I Do'
A relative of mine was forced into a shotgun wedding. The bride had a miscarriage, so they got divorced a month later. sexrockandroll
36. Get out of the Car!!!
I have a friend who proposed to his girlfriend like a week after he caught her cheating on him. He thought it would bring them closer and fix their relationship. Needless to say, he drove by his house on lunch a few months later and saw her co-workers truck in the driveway. He just drives right by. They are currently getting divorced after barely a year of marriage. barrymicokiner
35. Everybody Out!
Had a bit of a tip off when we didn't see the bride at the reception. She was next door in the carriage house restroom sobbing. She had just found out, on her wedding day, that her groom had once been engaged to one of her bridesmaids. The groom was NOT cheating on her, but just never got around to telling her that he and one of their "mutual friends" had once been an item. The groom spent the reception at the bar, the restaurant staff served the meal but there was no cake cutting, bridal dance etc... DavisSquared
34. I'm Colorblind....
When I worked at a college: Couple marries because she is pregnant, wants the baby in wedlock. Divorce (annulled I think, actually) when baby was born the wrong color 3 months later. goblinmarketeer
33. Happy New Year?
They got married in the October, she left him just after Christmas the same year. She was bored.
I don't know what he expected really, she'd cheated on him when they were engaged too and he'd forgiven her. What_A_Shocker
32. A Family Saga....
My neighbor got married at 19 and divorced when she was 20. Her parents got divorced while she was dating the guy and she moved in with him a couple months into the relationship. Together less than a year before they got married. Super young couple together for such a short time almost never works out. She didn't learn her lesson though because she got engaged to someone else barely a year later. They called it off and broke up before getting married though.
Sadly that's the happy story of the family because her younger sister got pregnant at 16 to a guy in his thirties and then a couple years later got pregnant by him again and married him. Then cheated with a much younger girl. Happened while they were together but they're still married with 2 children and she defends him on Facebook all the time. Magonus
31. That's an expensive day!
One of my friends from college filed for divorce ten months after her wedding. They were never really a good match and everyone could see it. Honestly? I think she just wanted to have a wedding and be a "princess for a day." Once she realized she actually had to keep the guy, she started having second thoughts. SaveBandit0215
30. The Blessing in Disguise....
My cousin was married and then three months later he had a brain aneurism and survived. His new wife divorced him soon after saying she wasn't prepared for that. He's now married to someone much nicer and twenty times more attractive. PiggBodine
29. Never Send Money!
Girl I went to HS with has four kids from her first marriage. They divorced when they were in their early 40's. She decides she wants to get married again. She wants a religious family man and is convinced Nigeria is the route to go. She starts chatting up Nigerian guys on Facebook.
Goes over there, marries a guy she just met via her Facebook husband search. After a few months of her sending money to him after she's home, she's unable to one month because she has four kids to worry bout. He freaks out and they wind up getting it annulled.
But wait! There's MORE!
A year later, she's on her way to Nigeria again because she's found another guy to marry. This time she goes over there once to visit, comes home, then basically is, "I am not giving you money until we marry." She goes back over again within 6 months to marry him. A month after getting home she finds out she's pregnant. All is well, eventually she's unable to send money because: four kids with TWINS on the way and that comes first. He gets upset and they wind up divorced. She later finds out he'd been chatting up other women around the world and getting money from them. And was only going to use her for a green card to get to the states.
I honestly don't feel bad for her. I feel bad for her six kids to have to witness their Mom make stupid decisions. No idea how the hell she afforded all those plane tickets. She's given up on Nigeria now. Jamaica is on her sights now. So, I am pretty sure before long, we'll see a shotgun wedding in Jamaica. tordenvaer
28. That's a Keith Morrison Situation....
How about the bride that pushed her new husband off a cliff on day 8?
When people noticed he wasn't around she notified the police. Then when they started searching for him and asking questions she sent an anonymous email from joe the plumber (from her parents computer) saying he is dead. Then when they still didn't stop investigating she led a search and rescue party directly to his body.
She said God led her to the spot. At the funeral she seemed relieved and guests heard her say she was glad that the police didn't have to be involved anymore. Eventually she made up a story about it being an accident. Finally she confesses to everything.
They hadn't even consummated the marriage. It's a trippy ride, but here's the link. FireInMyBones
27. A Terrible Disease....
He started using meth again after years of recovery. They were married for less than a year. Kinda sad really. He's in rehab now. AnEquatorialManiac
26. Third Times the Charm....
I don't know how long it took for them to actually get divorced. But my uncle found out his new wife had been cheating on him right as they left on their honeymoon cruise. His second wife was also a short marriage where she was cheating on him. He's been happily married to his third wife for 5 years or so now, so that's good at least. pwlocke13
25. 7 Days Down...
One week, a couple of friends seemed happily married.
Next thing I know, the wife has shared a pic of herself on the beach in a wedding dress being lofted by some goth-looking long-haired dude, her new groom. No idea. DarthContinent
24. Family ain't Free....
A friend of mine worked for her husband's brother (it's how they met). Once they got married her boss stopped paying her because she was family now and "you don't have to pay family." So she quit and found another job immediately without consulting her husband, and in a fury her husband changed all the locks while she was asleep in the back bedroom, and put deadbolts on the outside of the door, so she could only leave their house if he let her out, and took her cell phone. (they didn't have a landline).
It took her about 2 hours to get ahold of us online (dumb@ss didn't think she could contact people with a laptop), so we called the police who busted down the door and got her out. Husband went to prison, her divorce went through REAL quick, and now (5 years later) she lives on the coast and got engaged again to a very sweet guy who knows we're all watching like hawks. Manda-the-Panda
23. Kids ruin Everything!
Relative of mine got married and divorced 6 months later. Turns out they had never seriously discussed whether or not they wanted children prior to getting married. One adamantly wanted children and the other didn't and it drove them apart. They were together for 3 or 4 years before getting married and somehow never figured this out. Keebs-
22. The Photographer sees all....
Wedding photographer here.. Over 5 years, I know of 3 couples that are no longer together.
- One couple married in September, divorced by February
- One couple had been high school sweethearts, waited 10 years to get married, and the marriage from what I can see lasted less than a year.
- The other couple, the groom was drunk for the whole wedding, felt up his mother, and they used to post their photos all over FB and IG - now they're no longer to be seen, and the status of married is gone. punknkat
21. Jekyll & Hyde....
My little sister got married to "the love of her life" at 17. 2 months later she ran away and filed for divorce bc her 22 year old husband became an abusive drunk as soon as their marriage license was signed. TheElvenWitch777
20. She Cray. HIDE!!!
My boyfriends cousin.
She's 21 dating a 19 year old who looks 12 and is tiny. She's a very large woman. She's extremely physically abusive. I watched her pick this man up and lock him in the trunk of a car by sitting on top of it to induce a panic attack and win their argument at work.
He always has bruises and black eyes.
He proposes to her after a few months of dating, they get married. He annuls the marriage and leaves in secret the next day. Goes into hiding for 6 months. She posts lots of woe is me sappy break up stuff.
Somehow out of no where he's just back. They remarry at the court house and now she's saying she's pregnant but not telling her family. Her husband looks miserable and according to the grape vine doesn't work anymore and is confined to the apartment they share. Whether that's by choice or not is up for debate.
The poor guy looks like a withered husk of himself and he's only 19. RealAbstractSquidII
19. Animals Come First....
My uncle had married someone 3 months after dating them. He had 2 dachshunds and 2 cats. She demanded that he got rid of the dogs and got two new ones of her choice. They divorced in two weeks. biggestwigga
18. A Close Call....
Well, it wasn't really a divorce.
My brother married his girlfriend in Japan - Cinderella wedding at Disneyland and everything. Turns out she decided she was going to stay in Japan, despite them planning to move to Canada with him. Later he found out she never submitted the paperwork, so they were never married. HSteamy
17. The Big S...
Friend of mine was divorced and remarried in the same month. We all thought it was a little quick, but turns out they had been hot for each other for years. Anyway, a couple months after she got married, I saw her Facebook status changed to "separated." Don't know if they're still married or not. Dano420
16. Frowns....
Young couple in their late 20's, bride was the daughter of a friend. Daughter never learned to budget, save, spend wisely, pay bills on time, prioritize. They both worked full time at good jobs in San Francisco and lived in Pacific Heights in a purchased condo that was quite nice. She took them both into a ton of debt.
Had to have the very latest of everything that was material in nature, clothing, furniture, etc. She would put $1,000 on their credit card in an hour on absolutely nothing. She nagged her husband from the moment he walked in the door from work, even in front of company. It lasted two years. He couldn't get away fast enough. Her wedding photos were hilarious. No smiles. justusethatname
15. I Dare You!
About thirty minutes.
Bride told the groom in the run-up to the wedding, "Do NOT smash the cake in my face. Do NOT."
His buddies all got on him about being a wuss and showing her "Who's really in charge of this marriage..."
I was at the wedding, he smashed the cake in her face, she walked out of the reception and had it annulled. dramboxf
14. Hide the bank accounts....
Two weeks. Kind of a long story.
My sister was married to a real jacka**. She stayed too long and the divorce has been bitter. The ex husband is convinced my sister has a secret trust fund she is living off of and he wants half. There is no such trust fund. I mean, in what hopefully will be many years when my Dad dies, there may be money from his trust but he's very much alive, so he's not entitled to that.
So my sister hooked up with another guy who apparently is friends with the ex. The ex told him about the "trust fund" and somehow convinced my gullible sister to marry him, in the hopes that he would be more successful in getting the trust fund (the one that doesn't exist). This new husband, within days of marrying my sister brought his ex-girlfriend (baby mama who was supposedly in an abusive relationship) and his child to stay with them.
Very shortly after it was learned that new hubby has been with baby mama the entire duration of the relationship and the guy only went out with her because he thought she was a trust fund kid. So within a couple of weeks after the nuptials they were at each other's throats and he had thrown out and actually arrested and basically kept all her belongings. He filed a restraining order against so she couldn't come to the house.
I'm not saying my sister deserved this, but she does have a habit of stretching the truth. These guys didn't get the idea there was a trust fund from their butts. This marriage only basically lasted two weeks. gabberrella24
13. Overwhelming Grief....
It is very tragic, but dad was driving two of his boys home from a camping trip, and they got into an accident and the car went into the lake. Dad was able to rescue the oldest boy but he could not get the youngest out of his car seat in time. They were able to get the little one breathing but he had no brain activity and they had to pull the plug.
The marriage ended pretty much immediately. adairtd
12. What's Up Bill?
When I was in the Army, my ex-wife and I were good friends with a couple that lived a few doors down from us. One day i get home from work, and he's sitting on his front door step...I said "hey" he said "dude, you gotta come see this."
So I walked into his house, and it's empty. completely, not a scrap of paper...not a bag of trash. The weird thing was every cabinet door was open, refrigerator door open, every drawer open. If it was supposed to be closed, it was open.
He said the front door was wide open when he got home, and every faucet was turned on too. No note, nothing... his wife was just gone with everything in the house.
The thing was my ex-wife and I had dinner with them, in their house, the night before. laughing it up, drinking wine, having a great time... no sign of a thing wrong.
He said the first thing he did was call her parents house, and her father answered the phone... before he could even ask if he knew what was going on, the father said "Bill, you need to let it go" and hung up.
Remember that line from "True Lies" when Tom Arnold says his ex wife even took the ice cube trays...well, she took the ice cube trays. also took all of his uniforms and other clothes. He literally had the clothes on his back and what was in his pockets to his name. I never did find out what the motivator was, she was just gone. McFeely_Smackup
11. $800 is all...
My own marriage in 2004. Kissed my wife goodbye for a three month deployment to Pakistan in March. I never saw her again. After two months of being there she told me she wanted to leave me. At the time, there was a loophole in divorce law one website was exploiting. Quicksimpledivorce.com. Lawyers in Guam were allowed to process uncontested divorces pretty quickly.
Paid $800 and sent her the paperwork, we were living in Germany at the time and she signed and left for the US before I got home. The divorce was finalized in August of 2004.
What caused it? Dunno really, honestly she was unhappy prior to my departure. We had only been married a couple years, we kinda rushed to get married in 2002 when I got orders to Germany. sarzec
10. Punch Him!
Worked at a wedding venue and the bride told the groom who was from Arkansas that there was to be no call of the hogs during the wedding speech.
Groomsman proceeds to do it anyway, and the bride was furious and went into the back with the bridal party. Dude slapped her and said this crap is getting annulled tomorrow. Honestly she might have not dodged the slap, but she dodged a bullet. PuntingMuffCuts
9. The Life Suck.
The actual divorce has to wait because of visa issues, but basically they got married, everything was fine and then about a month later she got weirdly quiet about their relationships and about 9 months after the wedding he told her he thinks of her like a sister.
Holiday romance, long distance for several years, a ton of red flags and the second they moved in together things went to hell. Basically he didn't do crap around the home, she earned all the money and paid for all of his stuff on top of it, he then squandered her money even when she asked him not to (she actually had to put a limit on his phone contract). I don't think he planned to leech on her, he's just an inconsiderate a**hole. They're waiting it out because she's too nice to send him back. IncrediblePlatypus
8. Dirty Peter Pan...
One of my classmates in HS married her boyfriend before graduating college. She was one of those girls that had her entire life planned, so we were a little surprised that she didn't wait to graduate, but he was just about perfect so it made sense. He was intelligent, motivated, sweet, etc. He would come over to her house on weekends and mow her grass, do little repair jobs, take out the trash. Perfect courtship, beautiful proposal, a wedding that everyone talked about for weeks. 6 mo later we go out for a girls night and we beg for details on her wedded bliss, seeing as she's the first one married and she breaks down.
He had just stopped. Everything he had done before marriage just disappeared. It was like he was done adulting and reverted back to childhood. Wouldn't eat anything but spaghetti and chicken nuggets, literally. Started skipping class, cut his hours at work to less than half, didn't do any housework, any yardwork, would spend the entire night up with his best friend plating video games, to the point the friend complained. Drama intensified, and they were divorced before they hit their 1 year anniversary. Gruesomegiggles
7. Take your Space....
Good friend of mine got married. On their honeymoon husband tells her he needs space and isn't sure what he wants. Then he tells her he's leaving her for her best friend, who he's having an affair with. My friend is now blissfully happy and thriving and he's still a piece of garbage. visceraltides
6. Here is to 9 more!
My dad worked with a guy who had nine divorces under his belt, shortest lasting two weeks. They were dating for a week, got married, and divorced two weeks later. No one knows why. JalapenoBridger
5. No more Fireworks....
6 months. Both bride and groom were good friends of mine. Had the wedding at the most expensive yacht clubs in my state. Full Vera Wang tuxedos for all the groomsmen bought for us not rented. Had the wedding on July 4th weekend didn't last until the end of January. Rsmithjr1
4. Thank you Universe....
My boyfriend of on and off for 6 years started cheating on me with this girl in Texas (we lived in California). We broke up due to the cheating, a month or so later the girl moved in with him.
They got married on my birthday. Divorced 2 months later because they were both abusive to each other and she was cheating on him with his best friend.
Sometimes Karma is just so real. universalknowing
3. Immediate End!
My friend cheated on his wife AT THEIR WEDDING. She found out about half an hour after doing the paperwork and separation was immediate. looncraz
2. No Big Deal...
I knew a couple that did the whole "I don't know if I can make a commitment like getting married to you, but having two kids with you is nbd!" deal and after a couple years of it they tie the knot. A couple months later, her FB status is single. He was a massage therapist and had 3 girls on the side that he was meeting for their "night massages because she works all day and can't come in then." Beachy5313
1. Self Service Aisle....
Best man at my wedding was driving to his honeymoon with his new bride when she told him, "I don't think I want kids." This was after being together for years and claiming that she did want kids. Then as they pulled into a gas station she told him, "I don't think I want to be married."
He almost left her at the gas station.
After they got back from their honeymoon, she would stay out until 4 AM just about every night. No calls or texts, just wasn't coming home until very late.
They were divorced within six months of the wedding.
My wedding was not too long after his divorce was finalized. I told him very clearly that he was allowed to give a rambling Mosby-esque speech about how love was f---ed. He gave a very nice, funny speech instead. drewofdoom
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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