Friends come and go. That is just a harsh truth about life. Not everyone we bond with is meant to be a forever person. And we have to accept that that is ok. However, there are certain ways to lose friends with swiftness. We alienate and insult, even when we don't mean to. But we also learn that people flee because of their own psychosis and we are more the wiser for it. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes not, but it is always... just a part of life.
Redditor u/Ti83PlusGuy wanted everyone to share all the best ways to end up a party of one by asking.... What's the fastest way to lose all of your friends?
The 3rd Wheel.
Giphy
Start dating a controlling/manipulative person. The kind that will lie to you about your friends to drive a wedge between you. middleagenotdead
After School...
Finish school and enter adulthood. SlowlyGettingFatter
My boyfriend is still friends with all of his buddies from school, they all travel cross country to meet up a couple times a year. He's 36. I don't understand how it's even possible. I live in the same town I grew up in and the extent of my communication with my high school friends is when I run into them at the grocery store, we chat for a few minutes, say we'll grab coffee some time, and then don't. Funktionierende
"Hi Andrew... I'm Chris Hansen..."
So this seems like a fine a place as any to push this thought into the world. Have you heard of that app Cameo? Basically you pay a set rate and you can get a bunch of B and C level celebrities to leave a video text message directly for you.
Chris Hansen is one of the options you can buy for like 50 bucks. Imagine getting the following video text message...."Hi Andrew... I'm Chris Hansen..." thestereo300
Chronic Issues.
Get sick with a chronic illness... being disabled can be a very lonely thing. better-now
My last year of college my illnesses got the best of me and I barely graduated. Lost all of my friends over a few months because I was no longer able to go out with them or keep any sort of social life going. Realizing that the group I was closest with had all gotten together right after graduation to have a joint party without even inviting me was a horrible feeling to top off the horrible last semester. A year later and I still don't talk to them. Feels bad man. Panda4545
#MyEarToo
Hold them close and lick their ear sensuously. blublablublu
Calm down Bucheratti. GlacierWolf8Bit
I used to have a friend like that... The novelty wears off faster than you'd think. deeweromekoms
Truth Hurts.
Start critiquing them on all their flaws, all the time; everytime. Abscritical
I am this exact way with my best friend. When in the group we are best friends, when it's the two of us, all we do is argue.
His wife refers to me as his husband. acava2424
In the Bedroom.
Sleep with all of their boyfriends/girlfriends and post everything online - with rankings of who was the best. ThenaJuno
You joke, but I had a semi "friend" who did this. She was dating my friend, and then slept with my now ex-husband and both of his roommates.
You suck Tabitha. Pun intended. Borderline_creative
It Works if you Work It.
Quit drinking. kindamanic
Going through this now. I actually just got out of rehab for the second time on Saturday. It sucks. Especially because you know you could slide right back in to the group. It would just cost me my job and eventually my life. antialtinian
Close all those doors. You don't need those people. Addicts need to be loved and nurtured back to health. Keep a small circle of trusted and true people. As you go along your journey, you become more at peace with your own company and learn to love yourself, by yourself. And it's so awesome, I promise you that. Stay strong pal. Fetafloom
Like Britney Said...
Giphy
Push them out of your life because you feel as if you're being a toxic nuisance to everyone you meet. ThatThonkingBandito
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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