A chill hits your spine, causing your knees to wobble and your stomach to do that thing only Olympic gymnasts do when they jump off a diving board. Something's not right, you might think, and as time passes it only gets worse.
You done f-cked up.
Reddit user, u/Visualizable, wanted to know:
Learn This Lesson Well
I asked a woman when she was due.... she told me she wasn't pregnant.
Ahhh, you learned the hard way to never, ever, EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant. And I mean NEVER. Not even when the baby is half way out.
That's Why They Ask You If There's Any Special Instructions
When I ordered food delivery and they rang the door bell... less than 30 minutes after getting my child to sleep. Then hearing my son cry.
Whyyyy didn't I say to knock? So mad at myself.
This Is Why You ALWAYS Check The Spell Check
10th grade English class (2008) and we had to do a presentation to the class - my topic was Mahatma Gandhi.
I had done my presentation using PowerPoint. The night before I used the "spell check entire document" tool and just clicked through veryyy quickly and OK'd suggested changes. Didn't look over it - just went to bed.
Next day in class, I am presenting my awesome presentation. It comes to the slide where I talk about Gandhi and his wife, Kasturba. WELL WELL WELL... little did I know that spell check thought it needed to change his wife's name "Kasturba" to "masturbate" - I only found this out as I read "Gandhi and his wife, Masturbate" out loud to my entire class and teacher.
This was the moment I knew I had f-cked up and when I also learned a very valuable lesson - always double check your work.
Two Mistakes With One Nap
I was driving to school one morning last February and It was REALLY windy like 60 mph gusts. I fell asleep at the wheel for a brief second and immediately knew my mistake I open my eyes and I'm halfway in the oncoming lane with a car heading straight at me. I had time to slowly go back to my lane but I panicked and jerked the wheel to the right. I lost control and rolled my truck. I was completely uninjured and was the only car involved in the accident. I just told people it was the wind that made me lose control cause I didn't want to admit that I fell asleep.
Also I found out I f-cked up again when I remembered I only had liability insurance so I had no insurance money to get a new car.
That Ground Is Coming Up Awfully Fast...
I was cropdusting on a very hot day with a heavy load. After making my first past across the field, I was too heavy to climb over a set of high line power poles. No problem I can fit under them, however I waited to long to decide to go under and had to dive a bit to duck under the power line. When I pulled back to level off the airplane "mushed" or sank. As soon as I felt the the mush I knew it was all over, I dun f-cked up. I impacted the ground a split second later. Ended in a big firery crash.
Spotlight's On you
I'm probably too late but I'll post it anyway.
So I was probably about 9-10 years old. I was at church with my mom and I told her I wanted to be at the sermon with her instead of going to bible study (I wanted to be a big kid). I got mad over something (probably stupid) and I decided to sit allllll the way at the other end of the church bench from her. So I was sitting alone. Pastor starts his sermon and the room is silent. There's some quiet music playing in the background, everyone's heads are bowed down.
Before I get to the cringe part, there's something i want to add that's sort of related to why I did what I did. You know in elementary school when your teacher asks the class something and you all collectively yell the answer? Like: Ms Jones: what is 2+2? Class: 4! Like that. Yeah.
So the pastor was talking about sex. He asked some kind of question that I don't specifically remember. It was like "would you have sex with someone who isn't committed to you?" Not exactly that but LIKE that. So I yelled NOOO
The moment I knew I f-cked up came when the music stopped and the pastor started laughing and they put the spot light on me. Then everyone in the room was laughing. Yeah. That was painful.
You Have 5 Minutes Remaining...
I was at school in DT(desgin and technology). We were using hot glue guns and I had a project to complete which was worth 75% of my grade. I spent 55 mintues waiting for a gluegun to warm up that wasnt even plugged in
Seeing Your Doom Coming
I popped a wheelie at the top of a little hill only to see my front tire keep rolling.. I'd forgotten to retighten the nuts holding my front tire after patching a leak earlier.. all I remember is seeing my empty front forks stabbing the ground before the crash!
Poor, Poor, POOR Choice Of Words
When my teacher was teaching about empathy and we read a passage about a girl with no legs. I said loud enough for everyone to hear "How am I supposed to put myself in to her shoes?"
Let's just say it did not go well.
I was a 'troublesome' young person. So the first time I got arrested as an adult I called my uncle and was like "haaaa, funny story, I'm in jail, bail?"
And he said "I said I wouldn't".
"yeah, but this is real life now..."
I used to use tongs to get toast out of the toaster
Maybe Use A Dictionary Next Time
Grade six. Came home for lunch, eating sandwiches with the family on the back patio. The family decided to tease me about some girl, so I said she was a s*ut, not knowing what the word really meant. The dead silence that greeted my silence told me that word meant a lot more than she's a mean girl.
Always, Always Get Out Of The Blood
Someone pulled the fire alarm in my building. I went outside to see what was up, but there was no fire. I walked down 3 flights of stairs to get to the one that was pulled and see if there was anything amiss. It was 2 in the morning and I can't say that I was completely in the moment. First thing I noticed was the bloody hand print on the wall, then the trail of blood going out the back door. I called the police and was directing them to our building when I notice that my feet were wet. I looked down and saw that I had been standing in a puddle of blood and my socks were now saturated. He is an excerpt of how the call went after I noticed this:
ME: Hey uh, so I'm not sure if you get asked this much
911: Go ahead, any information may be helpful
ME: I just realized i'm standing in the blood. Do I need to stay where I am now? It's kinda gross.
911: No sir, you don't need to stay there
ME: Do I need to take off my socks or anything? Are they evidence now? I don't know how this works.
911: No sir, you can just get out of the blood and clean yourself
ME: Ok, but do I need to...
911: GET OUT OF THE BLOOD SIR
Always Pay Attention To The The Contact Name
My previous relationship was really not going too well and I was considering ending it. In hindsight should have ended it way before I did.
Anyway, I was texting my mum "How am I supposed to be happy and celebrate his birthday with him when I know I don't want to be with him and I just want to end this?"
Somehow, the message didn't end up going to my mum but to my ex. 3 whole days before his birthday.
Needless to say, it was a pretty crappy few months after.
All Three? Oh Yeah, You're Dead.
When my mom called my first, middle, and last name.
Told her to hold on because I needed to write my will.
Time For A Change
When I finished half a gallon of prune juice and my stomach started rumbling, thought it was just a hokey home remedy, boy was I wrong.
when i was a kid i was up playing minecraft at like 2 in the morning, and my mom walked in unannounced. [She] starts yelling at me and asking why the f-ck i'm awake. [In] the most deadpan, tired voice an eleven year old could have, i said, "you're awake too, y'know. i could ask you the same f-cking thing."
needless to say i got my -ss handed to me after that and i got grounded for a few months lol
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