People Share The Dumbest Way They've Ever Seriously Injured Themselves

Sometimes being alive means being awkward in every way.

You'd think the awkwardness wouldn't follow you around in every aspect of your life, but you'd be wrong. Even getting injured isn't free from your personal brand of awkward.


u/SexyOP asked:

[Serious] What's the dumbest way you've heard of someone causing their own injury or death?

Here were some of those answers.


Peed To The Death

Back in my army days, we had a guy fall out of his 2nd story barracks window while pissing out of his window. To deter him from falling out of the window while pissing again, the leadership moved him up a floor. Well, he fell out again... and died.

noodlenugget

Wham Bam

I once tested out a jammed nail gun on the palm of my hand. It was no longer jammed.

inflammable

Double Jeopardy

Heard of a guy who worked at a cannery and stuck his finger in a hole in one of the machines and cut his finger off. They reattached it and had to do a investigation, they asked him to show them what happened and he put his finger back on the hole and cut it off again.

herbviking666

On The Way Down

All those people in National Parks trying to take selfies next to the edge of a massive cliff that fall off. Some stupid selfie isn't worth losing your life.

alphalegend91

Pruning Pruned Prunes

Coworker was at home in her yard and had a pair of pruning shears in her hand. She saw a spider, which she is deathly afraid of, and whacked it as hard as possible with said pruning shears.

The spider was on her ankle when she did it. Now she has a cracked ankle and the spider got away, too.

IDreamofLoki

Spiders Cause Harm Pt. 2

I know someone who broke a couple of ribs while in the bath,

he was sat in the bath when he felt something light hit his shoulder looks over and sees this "huge" spider, he jumps up out the bath slips and hits his side on the side of the bath,

1 broken rib A few cracked ribs lots of bruises And a great story to tell

Ps the spider made a safe get away and was never seen again

anthonylarby

Paste

Back in her elementary school days my mom and her peers would play a game called chubby bunny. Basically you stuff as many marshmallows as you can into your mouth and say chubby bunny. One of her classmates did it one day at recess and suffocated and died in front of everyone. Been scared of marshmallows ever since.

GukyHuna

Chugga Chugga NOPE

Manchester Piccadilly.

Someone thought it would be fun to impress a girl by riding on the top of a train, they didn't know that the wires above the trains are electrical wires, and grabbed one for balance.

The bolt went through his hand, and shot out of his thigh causing severe burns.

Yes, he died.

asparadog

Miner 99er

Kid in my year at school once gave himself 6 or 7 "99ers" on the back of his hand at the one time.

A 99 er is pretty much taking a rubber/ pencil eraser and rubbing it on a piece of your skin 99 times. This boy did it around 7 times on the back of his hand

Pretty much his hand was covered in blood, this was during lunch break and he must have got dirt or something in it while playing and the wound got infected.

EathanS2k

Vroom Vroom.....Vroom....

Basically any of the Darwin Award submissions and winners.

My favourite has to be of Krystof Azninski, a polish farmer in 1995. He and his friends got drunk and decided to essentially have a "macho contest". This included such fun activities as hitting each other on the head with frozen turnips. However, Krystof was set a mighty challenge when one man cut off his own foot with a chainsaw. To one up his friend, Krystof cut off his own head with the chainsaw.

Link: https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1996-07.html

VirtualBrick2

People Explain Which Words Just Sound Inappropriate
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We're all adults who are totally mature and don't, at all, giggle a little bit on the inside when someone talks about what conditions are like on Uranus.

Yeah just kidding, that's hilarious.

Uranus is our favorite heavenly body.

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As much as people try to put on a good face in public, many of them have idiosyncratic behavior–like involuntary foot-tapping–they are ashamed of having.

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People Share Their Favorite Curse World Alternatives
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People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.

And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.

But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.

And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.

Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:

"What is your best swear word alternative?"
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People Share The Most Bada** Villain Quotes Of All-Time
Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

"Love is never having to say you're sorry."

"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."

Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.

Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.

Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:

"What's the most bada** villain quote?"

Benedict from Last Action Hero

"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"

"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Markt

last action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy

Donquixote Doflamingo

"Pirates are evil?"

"The Marines are righteous?"

"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"

"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"

"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"

"This very place is neutral ground!"

"Justice will prevail, you say?"

"But of course it will!"

"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie

The Man with the Midas Touch...

"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'

"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_Studly

Interrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy

The Last Airbender's Azula

"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."

"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan

Inigo Montoya, watch out!

"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"

"-the six fingered man."

Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul

“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."

"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94

The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners

"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."

"'Don't talk'."

"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680

Whiterose of Mr. Robot

“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64

The final frontier indeed...

"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."

"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."

"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingers

Deep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy

A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.

But it's with their words that they really get you.

And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.