We can't always be our best selves every second of everyday. Sometimes our brains malfunction or we just decide to act a fool. And then there are also the times when we are innocent and in the wrong place at the wrong time. Trouble is always around but sometimes trouble is found by the stupidest of ways.
Redditor u/SecondBaseB wanted everyone own up to a few things by asking.... What is the dumbest reason you have gotten in trouble?
Sassy Mail....
Giphy
Back in the pre-2000 days I had the dial up access to the fairly still new WWW, so obviously my father who had no experience with the matter, needed to check my internet history to be sure I was being safe.
No amount of pleading would convince him that Hotmail was not some sort of porn messaging system. Current_Account
Hands Down....
I got an on campus suspension for fighting when someone punched me in the face and broke my glasses. Vercalos
Had something similar happen to me. I told a kid he was going to be late to class and he turned around and punched me in the face and broke my nose. When we were sitting in the office, I was told we would both get 4 days suspension for "fighting" I pleaded my case that I didn't throw a punch or anything, they said "it didn't matter, a fight is a fight."
I was so pissed I yelled "Fine!" Turned to the kid and just started punching him in the face.
The police officer that had to come and drive me home told me "I don't know if I blame you." MinerOfStarDust
Blow it for the group!
My 6th grade class has a horrible substitute who got mad that we were being so loud (nobody was talking, as it was during reading time; some kids were just pointing out funny pictures in books and giggling). She said something along the lines of, "If it isn't dead silent for the next hour, nobody goes to recess!" Well it was dead silent until about 5 minutes til when one kid sneezed so hard he had to get tissues to clean up he arm. Guess who got recess taken away? Everyone.. 😒😒😒 SaltyMonkeyy
I Coughed.....
I have asthma. In elementary school, there was a lunch period where we weren't allowed to talk, punishment was standing against the wall for the remainder of the period and I think also through recess.
I put my head down to lower temptation to talk. My asthma gives me this occasional cough, so I coughed. Lunch lady thought I talked, told me to go stand.
Later on, a different lunch lady walked up to those of us on the wall, and asked us why we're up there. My answer was "I coughed." Nobody believed me. tuba4lunch
Keep the down.... down apparently....
Giphy
Once a teacher scolded me for not having lunch money at lunch. When kids don't have lunch the cafeteria makes them a peanut butter sandwich. She glared at me while I ate it like I was some scammer. I bet poor never crossed her head. forthevic
Mommie Dearest...
Scrubbing a spot on the floor. My mom startled me and gave me a spanking before I could explain what I was doing. Once it was over and I explained that I was just moping a spot, she said that I wouldn't have jumped if I wasn't doing anything wrong. Good old abuse. Dr_Julian_Helisent
Not Demerits!
I took sewing as a class in high school. On like the second day of classes, the teacher asked us to take out a special type of chalk that she never actually told us to bring. I mean, the entire class did not have it, but she insists she told us about the class before. Sent us to the Vice principal's office where we all got demerits. My very first demerit. Corbyitoldyouso
Simmer Down Kids....
I went to a Catholic primary school where we would have mass every month. And when I was in 7th grade our class apparently sang one of the songs too passionately so we weren't allowed to go outside for recess for the day. applesaucedayz
Look Forward Dear....
A guy I was friends with stole my bag from next to me and put it outside the classroom door. I go and retrieve it and he yells 'look miss, mystictaco is late to class.' She made me stay behind and I had to explain to her that I had been there the whole time, sitting directly in front of her, in the same seat I'd been sitting in the past 6 months. My two female friends stayed behind with me to try to convince her that the other dude had stolen my bag. MysticTacoDeer
Why Pierce That?
Giphy
I got sent to the principals office in high school for having my lip pierced... I'd had it for 6 months prior and no one said anything 🤦♀️. DisloyalMouse
A mere Mortal....
For not hearing which page of the book we were on and flippig through the book trying to find it.
Made the MORTAL mistake of peeking at my neighbors page number. Teacher stopped the class and then demanded that i pay more attention. Public_Tumbleweed
The Book Kid....
During a Scholastic book fair in elementary school, I was buying books because I loved to read, so much so that I was known as "that book kid." One of my friends didn't have money to buy any books because of his family's financial situation, so I decided that instead of buying another book for myself, I'd give him the like $10 he needed to buy one for himself. Feeling proud of my noble deed, I went to sit down and start reading through one of my books, when a teacher walked over to me and asked me why. I said "Well he wanted a book and had no money, but I had money. So I gave it to him." The teacher somehow got me a detention, and forced my friend to return the $10 I gave to him.
Damn public school teachers and their anti-generosity agendas. OshikuruDemon
Just Breathe....
Giphy
I received a referral + week of detention back when I was in the 3rd grade because a 6th grader shoved me into the corner of a bench to prevent me from getting the last basketball. I had the air pushed out of my lungs and couldn't breathe or talk at all for a solid 2 minutes. Idiot teacher shows up immediately afterwards, decides I was at fault for whatever reason, and is already starting to write up the referral while I am desperately trying to motion the fact that I can't even fucking breathe. I was crying I thought I was going to die as I was getting absolutely no response from my lungs for what felt like an eternity. Loblocks2
A Bruised Peach.....
First year of middle school, I was getting used to being with all different sorts of people as I had gone to an Honors elementary school that you needed to get accepted into. Anyways, one day I was walking down the hallway when a girl i didn't know at all (who was unmistakably white, like me) walked up to me and asked me what race she was. I was like "uhhh. white??" and she B***H slapped me straight across the face and screamed "I'M PEACH YOU RACIST!" and stormed off. Little to our knowledge, an assistant principle had watched the whole thing from behind... and there I was thinking she was going to get busted for assaulting me. NO?! The AP brings me into her office for verbally assaulting this girl and making a racist comment and I had to sit in ISS for two days. k4dude
Avert your eyes!
In second grade my teacher tried to make me and my friends not be allowed to be friends and also got me in trouble for looking at another student. LilBits1029384756
Oof, I think this happened to me. I had him in all of my classes one year, and we goofed off occasionally, and then we were never in the same class again. Three years, like how? booglebeast
If you say so....
Throwing a piece of paper off a balcony at school. According to the vice principal, I would then maybe throw a pencil, then eraser, binder, backpack and then even a person. And I was just like, "excuse me wtf!" ScreamingGoat25
I love Stouffer's!
I bought the wrong frozen lasagna.
In high school, I was doing the grocery shopping. My dad mentioned he wanted lasagna, so I grabbed a Stouffer's frozen lasagna. When he ate it, he was unhappy with how little meat it contained, and screamed at me for a good 10 minutes. He had never told me that he didn't like that brand, or what brand he would have preferred - he just told me to buy a lasagna.
For years, well after I moved out and went to college, he'd occasionally bring up what a stupid idiot I am for buying a Stouffer's lasagna. It's one of the more minor reasons that I cut him out of my life. steel_jasminum
Silence!
Giphy
I dropped my pencil on the ground and someone picked it up for me and I said, "Thanks." My teacher yelled at me for talking and I got super embarrassed. hiwhatisupbros
The Squeal....
I have a fairly high-pitched voice for a man and growing up it was even worse. People always think I'm a woman on the phone and when I laugh I still sound like a little girl at 27 years old. Anyway, when I was in grade five we had a substitute one day. He asked a question and I raised my hand to answer. When I answered the question the substitute told me to stop talking like Micky Mouse. This went back and forth for a while with me trying to convince this guy that I was using my real voice. He was having none of it and I got sent to the principle (who had known me for years). When the principle asked me why I was there and I explained myself he just laughed and walked me back to class.
Curse this voice of mine. retrospect26
Mrs. Livermore is Cray....
I passed a note in class to my friend saying "don't upset Mrs. Livermore she's in a stressy mood." Obviously it was intercepted and I was kept behind after lessons.
It was years and years ago. I still think about how dumb that was of me. JustLouu
Oasis in the desert? No thank you.
"Dubai."
"Why and whats special about it?"
"Its a modern city in a desert."- Maximum_Calendar_791.
"Dubai."
"A fake city with fake people, no human rights, where the world's tallest buildings hide corruption and slavery in their shadows."
"It's like someone decided to take every problem of mankind and concentrate it in one spot."- PayNoNoticeOfMe.
"Dubai one i think it is ugly two I would die in two minutes of me being there I can't stand anything above 40 c°."- BookWormPerson.
One of the seven wonders is one too many for me.
"The pyramids. "
"Too many horror stories of Egypt."- Aemiom.
Landlocked.
"Not really a destination, but taking a cruise."- Shortbus_Playboy.
cruise ship vacation GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphyMountains aren't really my thing.
"Everest."
"Just why."
"You use a bunch of money to get in there them come down."
"And trash your whole way there. It's literally a corner in the Earth insufferable for humans and we still made a way to go there to trash it."- ACLullaby.
It's in my own backyard... but still not interested.
"I have lived about 15km away from the Burj Khalifa ever since it was made."
"I could not care any less besides the occasional pointing out the 'shiny tall building' to my nieces.- legolosss.
The pictures are enough for me.
"Mount Rushmore."
"Friends who've made the journey to Mount Rushmore mostly say it was no big deal and not worth the effort or expense to travel there."- Back2Bach.
States Selfie GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphyHustle and Bustle? No thanks.
"Anything busy.'
"Whether it's cities, structures, I don't care."
"I'd rather go to a boring empty quiet place than a place full of people."- TheSmeep.
They're watching us.
"That creepy a** place in Japan with all the realistic dolls."
"No thank you."
dolly dearest horror GIF by absurdnoiseGiphySome dream of paying a visit to these places.
Others hope they never have to set foot there, and will choose to leave it to the other millions of tourists.
To each, their own.
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And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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