Growing up is hard, but so is still feeling like you're in the dark about things you should already know as an adult.
Here's a secret: We're all just trying to get by. I used to marvel at the adults around me and wonder how they managed to figure it all out. They actually never did! Shocking!
Today's burning question comes from Redditor TotallyNotAPlant, who asked the online community: "As children, we were often told "you'll understand when you're older." What's something that, even now that you're older, you still don't understand?"
There's a lot, okay? A lot.
"Why I was told..."
Why I was told I had to remain loyal to my family. They aren't good for me and I'm not good when I'm enabling them soooo... why?
"I questioned it."
Physical discipline. I was "spanked" a lot growing up, and I never understood it. I wasn't allowed to hit anyone, adults weren't allowed to hit other adults, but somehow it's okay for adults to hit kids?
I questioned it. Which earned me another spanking and a firm "you'll understand when you have kids."
And I gotta tell you, two kids later I'm still stumped. I've never hit them and they're amazing kids. Yes, I taught them right from wrong, and discipline them when necessary. It's an ongoing process when they're kids. I firmly believe our parents were looking for a fast out. "If we hit them they'll never do anything we don't like again." Which is inherently wrong. I did plenty. I just made damn sure I didn't get caught.
"Why swear words are 'bad'..."
Why swear words are "bad," even though they mean the same thing as their non vulgar counterparts. For example, if I'm not allowed to say sh!t, why can I say crap, feces, and poop?
"Why I wasn't allowed..."
Why I wasn't allowed to do things my brother did just because I was a girl.
"Yelling..."
Yelling at your loved ones when you're mad or upset or just having a bad day. It's not that I don't get upset with people; I just don't get the urge to do that. I'll never understand why my parents would yell at me for things like literal spilt milk.
"Why do we..."
Why do we treat children and teens like they are undeserving of equal respect and honesty as adults?
"Where other people..."
Where other people get their money from.
I honestly have no idea how other humans "do it."
I'm always broke.
"Investing."
Investing.
Everyone just throws that word around and nods. How they hell do I even get started on that sh!t?
"Oh talk to a broker or consultant at your bank, they'll take care of it for you."
No, they ask me questions like, "How much risk are you comfortable with?" which I have no idea how to answer. None? I'd rather have no risk - is that right? Oh i need a little? OK, then lets do risk. I don't know how much - what does everyone else do?
"Do you want GICs, mutuals, [other terms I conceptually understand by have no degree of knowledge that lets me make a decision]?" Sure? Yes? Do we do them all a little bit? Should I just say thing like, "The Chinese Tech sector is gonna blow up, bro. I want an international fund that focuses on that with 2 year terms" and hope that makes sense?
I have no idea how anyone makes and informed decisions on investing, I think everyone is just pretending they know what their talking about and hoping for the best.
I'm 34 and still trying to understand this sh*t.
"I remember being made to apologize..."
I remember being made to apologize when I didn't know what I was apologizing for or didn't understand an apology meant/should mean. Now I over apologize (especially at work) because the words don't mean anything to me but they seem to make other people more at ease.
"I don't get why..."
I don't get why crying about something meant automatic guilt.
Seriously, as someone that grew up with anxiety and PTSD, why in god's name would me crying be an admission of guilt? After all, it's terrifying when someone a foot taller than you and twice your weight has an angry look on their face.
"Why some shows..."
GiphyWhy some shows are just for kids?
Now that I am older I especially love the shows more geared towards kids. There is no designed drama or some confusing pull-at-the-heart topics. They are usually easy and wholesome and just go for humor.
I love the kids shows now more than I did as a kid maybe because I can appreciate them now.
"Why are we taught..."
Why are we taught to "don't hate the player, hate the game", when the players perpetuate the game, and no one wants to do anything to permanently improve it.
"How people mistake passion for love."
How people mistake passion for love.
If you hate someone who has different needs and goals than you, who makes you a worse person when you're around them, who isolates you from people who are good in your life--why the hell do you think you can't live without them?
Passion means you feel stronger around someone. Passion means you can't live without someone because they make you better, drive you to be the best version of yourself. Passion means you care enough to fight, not that fighting is the default setting.
It drives me insane to see friends stuck in this. It doesn't just apply to romance, either. I've got friends in friendships that they think are meaningful because "they've been through so much together", when in reality the only thing they've been through is the toxicity they create in each other.
I don't get it. When I was a kid I asked questions and everyone told me it was because I'd never been in love. Now I'm 28, and I've been in love, and I've felt passion turn toxic. I don't mean abusive partners--I've had those too, and they play mind games, I completely understand why people stay in abusive relationships.
But ones that are just plain toxic? Bad friendships? Romances that just don't work? I don't get it. I've never felt better than after getting rid of someone in my life who's terrible for me.
"Why rock music was evil."
Why rock music was evil.
My dad was convinced of it. Ordered me to get rid of my vinyl album of "Tommy" by The Who. So I did. Then promptly went out and bought another copy and hid it from him and listened to it anyway.
Now my daughters love The Who, Queen, David Bowie, etc.
One thing I learned: If you forbid your kid from doing something, they'll just do it behind your back. A valuable lesson learned that caused me to parent my daughters much differently from the way I was parented.
When studying or learning about different countries and cultures, many Americans find themselves fascinated and/or perplexed by some of their customs and traditions.
Up to and including Canada having their Thanksgiving celebrations in October, Guy Fawkes night in England, or spitting on the bride for good luck at Greek weddings.
Many of these same Americans who scoff at the very idea of these customs might not stop to think that the tables can be easily turned, and visitors from abroad often find themselves in an equal state of confusion at some of our customs and traditions.
Redditor thunderpower1999 was eager to hear which American customs foreigners found to be the most baffling, leading them to ask:
"Non- Americans, what is an American custom that you find unusual or odd?"
The Only Thing More Ridiculous, Are Most Of The Candidats
"I find the length of your election campaigns so crazy."- Olivia123321
Presidential elections seem to be some sort of two year affair. It's out of control.
Most Meteorologists Would Agree
"My friend from India once asked me (an American) to explain Groundhog Day to her."
"I had no explanation- it’s just weird."- marmosetohmarmoset
Groundhog Day Winter GIFGiphySlowly Becoming Extinct Though...
"The waiter taking your card away to pay."- Vlakob
Trick Or Treat!
"I’ll never forget when a college schoolmate from China asked me 'is it true that you have a holiday where children dress up and go around asking for candy?'"
"I had never thought about it before but all I could say was 'yes, I guess we do…'"- EverLong0
They Think That's Strange, Ask Them What They Think About Our Health Care System...
"The Canadians I worked with in the oilfield were blown away by all of the television commercials for medicines."- rufneck-420
Happy Mental Health GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphyGobble Gobble!
"Pardoning a turkey at Thanksgiving."
"Cracks me up every time, and I've lived here 20 years now!"- sandithepirate
Strange Isn't Always Bad
"Let me pull the Uno reverse card on this."
"I am an immigrant, living in the US for a very long time."
"Getting your leftovers to go at the restaurants was a surprise to me."
"But my reaction was, 'yeah, why is that not the norm?'"
"Rather than “Americans are strange'."- BobTheInept
When You Think You Have Exact Change...
"Not including tax in the price tag."- klc81
The Simpsons Animation GIF by FOX TVGiphySo Much For Camaraderie...
"The obsession with college sports…and in some places even high school or middle school!"
"I just came back from a work trip to Texas and one of my colleagues told me the football stadium for his daughter’s middle school held 20,000 people!"- Speedbird223
Valuing Children? The Very Thought!
"That new parents, especially fathers, are expected to show up to work within days of having a newborn."- kellygrrrl328
How Long Have You Got?
"Some things I found strange in America:"
"Lack of recycling bins everywhere."
"That homeless people have tents everywhere like streets (Washington really surprised me)."
"Ice filled to the brim of the cup."
"Anything and everything having a tipping option."
"Tipping in general."
"Tax not included in the price."
"Massive lawyer billboards on every highway."- effypom
The Office Yes GIFGiphyCivic Duty, But No Civic Holiday.
You have holidays for everything but a day off for election is too much
Just Plain Gross
"Child beauty pageants."
"Just stop it."- LoadedGull
It should be said that most Americans are equally confused, if not downright horrified, by many of the abovementioned customs.
Which begs the question, what keeps us living here?
Perhaps Americans desire to stay put, in spite of a heavily flawed electoral process, a convoluted healthcare system, and winter being dictated by a groundhog's shadow is the strangest American custom of them all...
Who among us hasn't wondered about how our rich buddies have made their fortunes?
Some people work really hard actually.
They're in an office or in the field all day and night.
They have their noses to the grind.
And yes some people just collect an inheritance.
That's ok too, but how do you make it bigger?
Redditor h3llofaRide wanted to hear about how the rich make a living, so they asked:
"What does the wealthiest person you know do for work?"
My rich friends are all investment people.
They know when to buy and sell.
It's a gift.
Fancy Services
Coding Looney Tunes GIF by Looney Tunes World of MayhemGiphy"The wealthiest person I know (and hang out with regularly) built a company (IT services) and then sold it for several hundred million dollars."
"He now runs a company that does the same kind of IT services in a different field. (He figured out a winning business formula and is just repeating it in a different market)."
omniumoptimus
Name It
"A family friend retired after being a COBOL programmer for 30 years. About 2 years after his retirement, a company came to him and said 'Name your salary' and he requested around $1.5 million/year. He was hired on the spot and still works there."
bbbbbthatsfivebees
"A family member worked at various companies, he told me this is very common. It's not obscure programming languages, just that they know what's going on. And don't let anyone else near it or something."
chabybaloo
Oink Oink
"Pig farmer. I kid you not. He's my father's old friend. I visited him once when my father and I were passing through the state. He lives in a modest classic farmhouse with his wife, both in their seventies. I mentioned I was starting a school in West Africa as we were catching up."
"A few weeks later I got a text asking how much it would cost. I told him 40k, thinking it was really nice of him if he wanted to send a few dollars."
"I got a check for 40k. I thought it would take me years to raise that. I'm typing this from Sierra Leone because he also paid for the house I thought would take years to raise funds for."
LadyCordeliaStuart
That Dude
"It's a guy I work with. He started with one Jimmy John's franchise and turned it into 10 franchises. Ran them for 10 years then sold them all and dumped the money into the stock market and real estate. He did this all while working as an airline pilot, currently still working at the airline. This dude owns and flies his own private jet on top of all that."
OT-35
Every day...
Proliferate Charlie Chaplin GIF by nounish ⌐◨-◨Giphy"Inherited a small factory from his father. Developed it into a huge nationwide company. Still goes to work there everyday despite being worth hundreds of millions."
ShipJust
Factory work. That is where so much greatness begins.
On the Road
Happy Go Crazy GIF by DAF Trucks NVGiphy"Truck driver. Starting his own trucking company."
Apprehensive-Crow-96
"Tons of money in the trucking business. An owner of one in my city drives a Porsche 918."
ForgottenPercentage
In the End
"Own their own conveyor belt business. Makes almost 2 mil a year after it’s all said and done."
TakeMe_To_Eisengard
"I was a control systems engineer who started contracting on the side. Now I build out crazy manufacturing systems like this. All it takes is getting one project to build a conveyor system and if you end up good at it then boom, you build conveyor systems for the rest of your life. Conveyor systems are actually really expensive and complex in the manufacturing world."
PleasantProgram7572
Life-Changing
"Both in tech. A friend is in a company about to IPO and is VP level so will do well there. Her husband just sold his company (gaming company) to the biggest gaming company in China for, as she put it 'life-changing money.' Both are very intelligent, super nice, and crazy hard-working. They worked for it, and it couldn't happen to nicer people."
BonePGH
The Little Things
"I was a fly fishing guide for many years, and one of my regular clients year after year owned a factory on the East Coast that is one of the top suppliers of O-rings and small plastic machine parts in the world. I never asked how much they made obviously out of respect. But they always tipped absurd amounts ($1500 was my biggest tip for 3 days) they flew private and drank and shared $600 bottles of wine like they were nothing."
The_Kinetic_Esthetic
Let's Play
gamer GIF by TotorialGiphy"He's the founder and CEO of a very successful games company. I met him over a decade ago when the company was successful but nowhere near what it is now. He's also one of the most approachable and friendly people I've ever met, to the extent that it sometimes feels like an act."
Lauantaina
Games and gaming.
Who knew?
Can I count all of my hours of Nintendo for tax exemptions?
