People Reveal Which Household Items Are More Dangerous Than Most People Think
Danger lurks all around the home. Common household items aren't as safe as you'd think... like dull knives, ladders, and gummy vitamins.
FalconHoof88 asked: What everyday household items are actually way more dangerous than we give them credit for?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Watch out for the corners...
Throw Rugs in Senior Citizen's houses. Literal death traps. They trip on that tiny little edge of carpet or it slides on the floor and now you have an old person with a broken hip and a death sentence.
Edit: Just for clarification- I meant their personal houses or homes or any senior living place. Not Nursing Homes. But really it's a problem with any potential tripping hazard. That tiny little threshold ledge between rooms? Yep that too. Do your Elders a solid and try to trip proof their living spaces.
Having worked in geriatrics for a few years now this comment is literally too true. Hip fractures have a very high mortality rate associated with them. Protect your elders!
When frozen food just won't. Come. Apart.
Zippers actually cause a lot of injuries. So does frozen food - the injuries occur when people try to separate frozen items.
Nothing more uncomfortable than watching someone trying to separate frozen burger patties with a 8"+ chefs knife.
My SIL broke her foot by dropping a frozen ham on it. The ER didn't believe her and called the police on my brother because he made some joke about "well what do you think happened, I pushed her down the stairs?" He then had to spend several hours trying to prove they didn't even have stairs :(
I shudder at the thought.
A mandoline slicer! Those things slice over 9000 fingers every year... yikes!
The mandolin slicer is a demon who will serve the kitchen faithfully, but it demands a blood sacrifice.
There's a reason I'm not allowed to use the mandoline at work.
The irony.
Irons.
Did I unplug it? Do I turn my car around and head back home to check?
You know, I once heard an interesting story about a woman who suffered from crippling OCD. She had to quit her job because she was always terribly paranoid about the iron being on. She suffered for about 10 years before she went to a therapist who suggested that she simply take the iron with her when she goes out. It totally worked and she was able to get a stable job after that.
Uggggh.
Clamshell packaging. That shit is designed to butcher and maim.
Can openers make short work of clamshell packaging.
But my can opener is still stuck in it's clamshell packaging!
Just get your scissors. But first, go borrow some other scissors to cut your scissors out of their clamshell packaging.
Plus they aren't cheap to run.
Space heaters. It's good to be warm and on the whole they're super effective.. but they can sure go wrong.
My grandmother is paranoid af about even using them due to her mother dying in a house fire caused by an unattended space heater.
Space heaters made in the last 15 years are actually really safe with redundant safety features that cannot fail. What makes them unsafe are people using cheap extension cords or power strips that aren't rated to take that kind of power load. The resistance is too high causing the cords or the internal to over heat and cause a fire. You should only be plugging them directly into the wall outlet or be using a heavy duty extension cord intended to be used in a workshop.
My nemesis.
Apparently ladders are surprisingly dangerous.
You'd think it would be easy to avoid falling off one, but i've heard of it happening more than I expected. You also really don't need that high of a fall to badly hurt yourself.
I'm not afraid of heights but ladders. Ladders are scary.
Heights aren't dangerous when they're up there alone, but with a ladder they can come down and get you!
Frustrating, too.
Dull knives.
Wish this were more well known. A sharp knife cuts where you intent, and requires less force. A dull knife requires more force, and makes mishaps far worse.
It'd probably make sense to distinguish potential harm and likely harm.
A sharp knife has the potential to do a lot more harm, but since it's easier to control, you're less likely to have an accident. A dull knife has less potential, but you're more likely to mess up with it.
Eating too many is painful af, but they're so tasty.
Gummy Vitamins...
I'm an adult and have trouble limiting myself to less than 20.
When I was about 4 years old I snuck down to the kitchen in the middle of the night and ate an entire bottle of gummy vitamins. My mom came in, realized what I had done, and immediately called poison control. They told her I'd be okay, she just needed to give me some Tums. She dug through the cabinet to find the tums only to discover the empty wrapper, because I had already eaten all of those, too.
Or dry tile, plus socks.
Wet tile floors. Lots of people die.
Yep. Hotel I work at had a man slip in the bathroom and pass a few years ago. They called his wife, who they thought was staying with him, only to find out he was having an affair.
Edit: just want to clarify, the misstress had gone out for whatever reason, so he was alone when he slipped.
I want that bathtub with the built-in door.
Water and bathroom floors.
More people are killed or injured in accidents in bathrooms than most people realize.
Or even just tub showers without non-slip mats to stand on, or elderly people slipping getting out of a tub... Grippy mats and securely mounted hand-holds are important, people! Our bathrooms are trying to maim us!
Some people are worried about the great robot uprising. I'm more worried about robots partnering with bathrooms. We'd all be dead inside a week.
I, for one, welcome our sophisticated Japanese automatic toilet overlords.
Clean out your lint traps for kindling.
Stairs. People fall up them or down them a lot. Also Lint catchers for your Dryer. Causes household fires a lot.
If you camp a lot, save the dryer lint. Makes a great fire starter for your campfire.
If you are in the medical field and work with ekg's the paper has a high acetate level greal for fires also try hand sanitizer on a toilet paper roll.
I use Vaseline on cotton balls. Burns long and hot enough get the kindling going even when things are a bit damp.
*Shudders.*
Cheese Grater. You ever accidentally have your hand slide down the grade? It just shreds your skin.
Never called by it's negative name, "sponge ruiner."
Keep a cheap toothbrush by your kitchen sink for tools with small crevices. Peelers, garlic crushers, slicers, graters
Adding, because I'm really passionate about this. Guys, clean your can openers with a toothbrush. I promise it's disgusting right now if you really look closely. Especially if you have roommates. Please, do it for me.
Corners are dangerous. Live in a sphere.
Any corner. The corner of a table or the corner of a cabinet door. Never leave those doors open. It takes one wrong step to lose an eye. Or one bad fall. That's why I live in a corner free house.
Do you live in an igloo?
No, he lives in his Oval Office.
Hmm, that would allow him to cut corners.
What a verb.
Garage doors, let the professionals fix it if it breaks. The springs carry a lot of weight, its perfectly capable of sending you to the hospital if you are doing DIY repairs.
My dad was totally degloved (think that's the right word) and his thumb was only attached by a shred of....something trying to fix a garage door. It happened when I was really young so I'm not 100% with the details. After that he stopped working construction and went to college so he never had to fix one again.
degloved
This word still gives me shivers every time I read it.
Right, can we just delete it from existence?
Sometimes there is no specific reason a person gives others the heebie-jeebies.
Certain people are just born with that vibe.
And other people are just flat-out crazy.
There are small mannerisms and big ticks that just send a clear message to stay a few yards back.
More often than not, we can't exactly put our finger on it... but something inside us just knows.
Better to know and be warned I guess.
Redditor TheRealOcsiban wanted to hear about the people who left many of us with a deep sense of unease, so they asked:
"What made the creepiest person you ever met so creepy?"
People who stare for a little too long without speaking always freak me out.
It's rude to share.
What are your evil eyes really saying?
On Camera
"He followed me for 3 miles after I left physical therapy and only f**ked off when I went into a store that I knew had cameras all over the place."
isapika
Rambo
"Was kayaking a river when some dumba** decided to dive off a cliff head first into a rock below the surface of the water and had a huge gash in his head. A guy came running out of the woods full Rambo attire headband and all. Poured moonshine over the cut and bandaged the guy up then ran back into the woods. Pretty creepy but probably saved that guy's life."
Over my Shoulder
"(25 Female) Was working out at a fairly busy gym with one other person in the gym at the time as it was late at night. He made a point to only work out on the equipment directly behind me, and every time I would move to another, he would move to the machine behind. It happened so many times that I started to text my boyfriend to tell him I was getting kind of creeped out by a guy at the gym and I was uncomfortable because I was alone in the building with him."
"There’s an entire wall in this gym that’s just a long mirror so you can see the entire room through this giant thing. I look up at the mirror as I’m texting my boyfriend and this man was standing behind me and reading my text over my shoulder from behind the machine. Instead of freaking out and making the situation more dangerous for myself, I stood up and got off the machine and put my phone in my pocket, and briskly walked to the front door without even turning around."
"I walked out and got in my car safely but by this point, I was full of adrenaline and fear. Luckily he didn’t follow. I don’t know why he would have done that, or what his intentions were but I noped the f**k out of there. Reported it to my gym the next day and was told they would investigate and handle it. Never saw him again, thank God."
UndiagnosedOtter
Chilled
"Random guy walks into the restaurant I was working at before. He asked for a crazy coworker (we didn't interact at all) if she was working or if I can give her the schedule. I declined both because it was information he didn't need to know. Told another coworker at the time, and she told me the same guy would sit at a corner table and watch her work."
"At that point, I told her that he was banned and to let a crazy coworker tell him he was banned and can't come back. I also informed the cooks to have the cooks make sure she left safely. This only happened because he happened to give me a creepy chill down my spine when he walked in and asked the question."
lazyfoo_3
Contact Ended
"He kept looking at my feet and ankle and asked to rub my feet the first time I decided to hang out with him. Luckily when he approached me, while he was cute, I was cautious and made our first hangout a group hangout which now I am so glad about. He got creepier the second hangout (public again) and then when I decided a couple of hangouts were enough and I ended our contact, I later saw him in the news arrested for trying to break into a girl's house and trying to attack her."
AgitatedCress7062
Okay, that is too much. The foresight to do a group hang was really something.
Dogs Know
"He had no friends so to be nice one day I invited him over after school to trade some cards. The second my dog met him doggo's body language shifted to tense and alert."
"The dog wouldn't let us be in the same room without sitting between us and straight stared him down the entire time and it was the weirdest vibe. Never did that to anyone else. Creepiest dude I ever met, to be honest. While he was over he openly told me he stole a girl's wallet so he could 'find it' and ask her out. I didn't hang out with him anymore after that."
Achaern
You know nothing...
"Dude called other people NPCs (non-player characters) and couldn't understand that women have their own thoughts that don't involve trying to impress men. Like... he couldn't understand that women have hobbies because they're fun. Weird, narcissistic, and creepy. Oh yeah, he doesn't like it when he gets called creepy."
haunted-poopy
The Crazy Influencer
"He stalked me, threatened me, got me involved in a cross-country legal thing, caused me to beg for a restraining order which was finally granted, lied about me, harassed me, and showed up to my house with a gun. Why? I was his coworker at a retail store for a few months and said “no” when he wanted to date randomly. I barely knew his name at the time… he’s an 'influencer' now that he’s out of jail."
AleshiniaLivesStill
My Protector
"I had a client whose dog protected me from him. He had a creepy fake smile, and that pit bull sat on my foot, staring at him, and keeping herself between us. He laughed and said she's always protecting him, but if she was, she wouldn't have her back to me. She was keeping him away from me."
Hopefulkitty
Listen to the gut...
"I can't put a finger on why I was creeped out by him the first time we met, but a few months later he murdered two people."
"So I'm really glad I was creeped out by him the first time we met."
Ok_Whatever_Buddy
This is why I try never to leave the house.
Some people have lost their minds.
Be safe out there!
It's true that sometimes we just can't understand what someone's going through until we walk in their shoes.
This can be especially true of physical ailments, particularly the less visible conditions that many would rather assume are figments of the sufferer's imagination.
On the flip side, we can try to be empathetic, but truly, sometimes until you've experienced it yourself, you just can't imagine how bad it is.
Already cringing, Redditor fyflate89 asked:
"What's way more physically painful than most people realize?"
Endometriosis
"Endometriosis. I end up bleeding for two weeks straight if I miss a dose of my birth control. Last time I was bedridden for at least three days and could still barely function the next few days."
"When I had to drag my a** out of bed because my grades would drop if I missed any more class (I’m a college student), I was in so much pain, anemic, dehydrated, and nauseous..."
"But, ya know, it’s just 'cramps,' right? Get over it."
- ChipTheOcelot
Ear Infections
"Ear infections are no joke."
"I had an eardrum and canal infection in my right ear. Completely deaf for a week with a ruptured eardrum."
"I couldn't so much as touch the right side of my head without being in complete agony. I could barely talk or eat because opening my jaw was excruciatingly painful."
- izzyishot
Degenerative Disc Disease
"Degenerative Disc Disease in C4/5/6.I look completely fine and can't get disability."
"I also can't look up for longer than 30 seconds, drive for more than 15 minutes, mow my lawn, work on my jeep, or even change my brakes or oil without being laid out in pain for days afterward."
"At its worst, it causes ocular migraines that partially blind me and both arms go numb and I can't hold anything."
"The disability Judge said I was exaggerating my symptoms. F**k him. I hope he gets the same thing."
- Demonae
Depression
"Depression. When I get it bad, my bones and my skin ache. I can feel it in my teeth."
- Darfer
"Colors fade, too."
- knee_bro
Nerve Pain
"Nerve pain… Mine has come and gone at different intervals and intensities throughout the last 10 years, and I can completely understand why people go through serious depression and thoughts of suicide when they feel so helpless because nothing helps reduce the pain."
- theithe916
Not Even for the Worst Enemies
"Getting a colposcopy (cervical biopsy where they rip out a piece of your cervix to test it for cancer)."
"Getting a uterine ultrasound with contrast dye that is injected into your uterus to see if your fallopian tubes are clear (felt like someone punched your uterus from the inside)."
"Getting an intestinal blockage. Getting an intestinal blockage that results in gangrene."
"Those are the most painful things I’ve experienced and my wish for you who read this is to never experience them, especially the intestinal blockages. I wouldn’t wish any of these on my worst enemies."
- iamcrazy4cats
Everyday Pain
"I once worked a six-hour shift as a cafe manager with active appendicitis, when I showed up to the ER (after my doctor and my boyfriend demanded I do), they were astonished I’d been running around and lifting/serving for that long."
"Two years later, I was diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis, and I had a cyst the size of a golf ball. Parts of my organs were stuck together and they’d always been dismissed as 'normal period pain.'"
"It’s amazing how much pain you can go through when everyday pain is your baseline. A good endo day for me, pre-surgery, was a three or four out of a ten-point scale. A bad one had me on the tile floor clutching a heat pack, feeling like I’d been stabbed in the front and taken a shotgun to my back."
- burntknowledge
Period Pain
"Periods."
"I'm a dude so I've never experienced them, but I've had two girlfriends, completely healthy young women, who've needed to be carried to the bathroom due to the pain."
"My boys, we lucked the f**k out on this one. Be respectful."
- Wazula23
Kidney Stones
"Kidney stones."
"Hear me out. People think passing them is what hurts and they couldn’t be more wrong. Passing them is a minor inconvenience."
"The part that hurts is when the stone is making its way to your bladder. Three- to five-hour bursts of unimaginable pain that has no way of being subdued. I was dizzy, nauseous, and walking around like Quasimodo when those bursts happened."
- PewpyDewpdyPantz
IUD Insertion
"The unexpected pain of having an IUD insertion was actually traumatizing. There’s no f**king reason they shouldn’t warn people about that beforehand."
"They said, 'Oh, it’ll just feel like period cramps.'"
"NO, you f**king id**t, I couldn’t see straight, I had an actual fight-or-flight response where I had to be held down because I was trying to get off the table and run out of the room with no f**king underwear on, I was bleeding heavily for DAYS afterward, and I had cold pain sweat all over my body."
"That s**t was the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life and I cannot believe they do that procedure every day without ANY sort of anesthetic."
"I was curled up in a ball and wouldn’t let anyone touch me for like two weeks afterward."
- Pippified
Gallbladder Issues
"A gallbladder attack. I've undergone so many spinal surgeries, my family literally lost count. I know pain. I know pain very well."
"I was in such agony from my gallbladder freaking out that I had it taken out as fast as I could possibly have that done. I wasn't about to f**k around and find out."
- an_ineffable_plan
Dental Problems
"I've never been happier that dentists exist AND get paid as much as they did until I got my broken, aching wisdom tooth removed. Instant pain dissipation, and even though I was awake during the whole thing, he always made me feel comfortable and taken care of."
"When people say rotting teeth used to kill people back before modern medicine, I 100% believe it. I wanted to kill myself at a couple of points, and I didn't even have tooth decay."
- Pariah0119
An Abscess
"There’s toothache and then there’s a full-blown abscess. The kind where the side of your face is swollen. It’s not a toothache anymore. Now it’s a migraine and earache."
"The pain is always there and comes in waves of pain excruciating pain. No pain meds work. Only antibiotics will take the pain away."
- King_Baboon
Broken Ribs
"Broken ribs. Typically no outward signs to anyone that you're injured, but trust me it's painful as h**l and takes a long-a**ed time to heal."
- waywardcowboy
Migraines and Cluster Headaches
"Migraines."
"I'm not talking about bad headaches. I'm talking about the absolute h**l that is an actual blurred-vision, face-numbing, uncontrolled vomiting-inducing, skull-splitting classic migraine."
"Have you ever contemplated death over pain? A particularly nasty migraine will make you do that."
- SupertrampTrampStamp
"I get cluster headaches. There was this one medication, sumatriptan, that worked a third of the time, and you may have heard about treating them with mushrooms, but that's also a dice roll. Sometimes it's immediate release and a preventative. Sometimes it just pushes a worse one two weeks down the line."
"It's not as comprehensive as a migraine, it's a single spot in particular. There's a tiny demon on my trigeminal nerve with a tiny lava/wasp sting knife. Most of the time they don't last long. Sometimes ibuprofen and a frigid shower are enough. But at the worst, it's definitely asymptomatically approaching suicidal."
- AudiieVerbum
These conditions leave us cringing to think about, especially the ones that leave the sufferer wondering if they can make it to the other side of the pain.
The most important thing to remember is how invisible many of these conditions are, even a broken rib, and that even if you can't see what someone else is going through, doesn't mean they are struggling through it.
Particularly for the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s kids, a lot of businesses and jobs have gone out of style or have been eliminated entirely with advancing technology and societal needs.
While we can all understand how that happened, some of these businesses were arguably gone too soon.
Redditor SilentJoe27 asked:
"What's a profession you've seen phased out in your lifetime?"
Paper Routes
"Paperboys. Having a paper route used to be a thing, but now there are very few people who get a daily physical paper. The route must cover a lot of miles now."
- cmoellering
Video Rental Stores
"Video rental stores."
- wetlettuce42
"This is so sad, too. I used to do the Blockbuster mail rentals, and for a time you could exchange them in-store for other movies (and it would flag yours as returned)."
"The people in the store knew their movies. I would hand them the three I got, tell them what I thought, and they would make three recommendations, and I was never disappointed."
"Even before Blockbuster, the Ma and Pa rental places were great, even if I was never allowed to go 'behind the curtain.'"
- draggar
Quick Photo Development
"Photo Booth operator."
"Back in the 20th century, there used to be small huts in parking lots where a person would develop your film in as soon as one hour."
- HoraceBenbow
"I remember one-hour photo places in the mall where you could watch the photos developing in the window. Also, one-hour photos used to cost a lot more than regular developing, which could take a week."
"Sometimes it really blows my mind how I can have instant photos at any time."
- PinkSugarPills
Radio Hosts
"Radio disc jockeys."
"They're not gone yet, but they are dwindling toward extinction. Local disc jockeys are fewer and fewer as radio stations consolidate under corporations."
- InfernalWedgie
"They once played records they liked in addition to the hits. A DJ could single handily make a new band famous. Now it’s basically software playing the same predetermined top 40 songs on rotation."
- asimovsroomba
Toll Booth Operators
"Toll booth collectors."
- deckpumps_n_deldos
"Dude, that was one that was on its way out but then got absolutely DELETED by the pandemic. RIP."
- TheAero1221
Movie Theater Projectionists
"I used to be a projectionist at a movie theater. Most theaters are all digital now with the projectors on timers."
- 72scott72
"And theaters have suffered because of it. Masking is all over the place. No respect for proper brightness. The screens are filthy. These are major reasons people go to the movies less and it starts with the end of protectionists."
- wilsonh915
An Extensive List
"I'm in my early 50's. Here are some."
"Executive assistants and secretaries. When I started my career even low-level managers had a person to write memos, answer their phone, and plan their travel. I worked in a company of 3,000 people and I bet there were 100 of them. Now I'm guessing there are two."
"The entire industry of pricing guns. Everything in the store had a small white sticker with the price on it. The UPC code and scanner eliminated this and probably half of the jobs that stock shelves."
"Small Engine Repair. Sure, there are still some people out there doing this, but small engines used to fail constantly and everyone had a few of them. The reliability of the devices has reduced the number of people doing this."
"Cobblers. There used to be people that fixed shoes and shined shoes. Every town had one. Every man had his shoes shined often."
"Manual processing. Factories used to be full of people doing ordinary things, like flipping over a different piece of metal every eight seconds or pulling green apples off of the conveyor belt. Now that robotic systems are easy to program and cheap to buy, those jobs don't exist."
- PriveCo
Photography and Videography
"I used to make a nice living as a photographer. I worked for Warner Bros., Atlantic Records, Virgin Records, etc. There’s really hardly any money in that anymore."
- suffaluffapussycat
General Repairs
"Repairmen. When I was a kid and something broke, you would just take it to the local repairman and he would fix it."
"Stereo, TV, vacuum, lawnmower, bike... These guys could fix anything. They had a small shop where they had parts for everything; in some sort of comforting chaos."
"And I have been looking for a couple of years now to find someone to fix my 1960s toaster. Even the company doesn't have any ideas where I could send it."
- sonia72quebec
Typesetting
"A typesetter. The guy who would physically lay out all the fonts and arrange how a newspaper or magazine page would be printed."
- flipping_birds
"I've worked for a commercial printing company going on 22 years. It's amazing how much different it is now compared to when I first started. Never had to old school 'typeset' like you're talking about but we did have to burn negatives for every single printing plate we used."
- Holsinger60
Long-Distance Operators
"Telephone switchboard and long-distance operators."
- brushpickerjoe
"An aunt was an AT&T operator. When they were broken up, she received some 'throw-away' stocks in the new company NYNEX, which she kept. It's now Verizon."
"She doesn't need to work but is a health care aid."
- Rojodi
Door-to-Door Sales
"Door-to-door salesmen. You used to see them pretty frequently back in the 60s, never see them now."
- javanator999
"I remember vacuum salesmen still showing up and doing a 30-minute demo in the late 80s. Now you just go to Walmart and get a vacuum for $100. Things have gotten so cheap."
- turniphat
Medical Transcription
"Medical transcription. Trained editors in medical language have resorted to spot-checking s**tty dictation done by Dragon. Once an important profession now replaced by technology."
- MYOB2023
Encyclopedia Sales
"Encyclopedia salesmen..."
- Flipperpac
"I remember when our family bought a set in the early 80s. It was such a huge help for me and my siblings to not have to go to the library to work on every research assignment. It was kind of a bummer how quickly they became outdated to the point of being almost unusable, though."
- Zolo49
Phone Book Deliveries
"Phone books. It used to be major money in ad sales."
- WhiskeyTangoFoxy
"I'm not saying I got all Navin Johnson about the new phone book arriving, but it always had a wealth of information and good coupons along with the phone numbers and addresses. I just got our new one a few months ago, and it was very disappointing."
- typicalamericanbasta
While it's understandable that available jobs will change will societal demand, it seems there were some jobs and destinations, like video rental stores, that were simply gone too soon. At least these businesses created lasting memories for those who were fortunate enough to experience them.
Whether we like it or not, the fact that each and every one of us will expire one day and go off into whatever the next phase of existence is is a harsh reality.
So we might as well make the most of the time we have while we're here and leave our mark.
What kind of legacy would you want to leave for the succeeding generations?
Curious to hear from strangers online about how they want to be remembered posthumously, Redditor D_And_R_Gaming asked:
"What do you want written on your tombstone?"
There is still humor in death.
Misunderstanding
"I asked to be cremated what the hell"
–Aksjer
"I was going to say 'Bacon Cheeseburger' but then realized that’s Jack’s, not Tombstone."
– ImAF'kinLiar
Life Is A Crapshoot
"I've made many dumb decisions in my life, and only one of them got me killed."
– kinda_fruity_ngl
"Russian roulette without the roulette."
– Aquahert
People got creative.
Keeping Score
"A Steam review of Life:"
"309,936 hours played 'It's OK.' 👎 Does NOT Recommend "
<em>– Anti</em><span></span><em>Theory</em>
-Reddit
Old School
"(My Name)"
"1964 - 2137"
– TrailerParkPrepper
"My spidey senses tell me you are from Poland."
– itstoolatebro
Careful What You Wish For
"Slightly off topic….but I saw a picture of a headstone once that had a cookie recipe on the back of it. The poster said that while grandma was alive, they’d ask her for her famous cookie recipe and she’d say, 'over my dead body'. So, when she died, they found the recipe and put it where she always said - over her dead body."
"I don’t care if it’s true or not; that’s savage and I’m here for it!"
– Fluffy_Momma_C
There seems to be no limit to what you can have on your epitaph.
We Have Options
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[X] Save & Quit"
– theyusedthelamppost
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[ ] Save & Quit
[X] Quit
I don't have to be saved"– Mor_Hjordis
Spirit Rises
"My body lies but still I roam."
– twistedsister78
"Roamer, Wanderer, Nomad, Vagabond, Call me what you will"
– cooperkfb8
Message To Mortals
"GET OFF MY DAMN GRAVE!!"
– LucyVialli
"In really small writing... 'you're standing on my balls'"
– reiveroftheborder
Only The Strong Survive
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
– parataxis
"Evidently you didn't get stronger."
– 69420memes
How Bewitching
"A short melody in sheet music carved into the stone that causes bad weather and time travel paradoxes when repeated."
– MrLuxarina
A Lasting Impression
"I dunno but when I was a kid I came across the tombstone of a world war 2 vet. And on the tombstone was his picture. He has very long canine teethe like a vampire, on the stone was a poem that read"
“'Beware kind friend as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare for death and follow me.' It’s just something I’ve never forgotten."
– Ok-Hovercraft2713
I remember being amused as a kid waiting in line to ride Disneyland's iconic Haunted Mansion attraction.
Up on a hillside adjacent to the Antebellum-style manse were a series of headstones with darkly humorous epitaphs.
One that particularly drew my attention was one that read:
"Here lies good old Fred. A great big rock fell on his head. R.I.P."
At the time, I really did think gravestones explained how the deceased perished, and that this one was intentionally funny.
Can you imagine?