If there's one thing decades of science fiction stories about talking machines that slowly gain sentience have taught us is...don't do it. Really. Once robots learn to talk, that's it. Game over for the human race. However, we've already invited the enemy into our homes. Amazon Alexa, in the form of Amazon's Echo product, is already "helping" us order stuff and play music at the simplest verbal command. Like with all technology, though, there's the occasional error.
Reddit user, u/Beep_BeepRitchie, wanted to know about the most off-putting thing your Alexa has done when they asked:
What's your creepy Alexa/google home story?
An Unwelcome Greeting
We had Alexa and Hue bulbs. It's middle of the night, I'm passed out in bed, my husband was working nights at the time. Apparently it was storming outside and the power was knocked out briefly.
Well, for those that don't know, Hue bulbs automatically come on, full brightness, when you regain electricity (you can disable it now).
So, I'm asleep, it's who-knows-when, my bedroom light turns on full-brightness and I hear a women's voice say "Hello".
Needless to say, I woke up and about sh-t myself assuming someone was in the house.
That was the night we disconnected our Amazon Dot and never used it again.
Just Listening For Likes
Was talking to my girlfriend about buying some lights, when Alexa pipes up and says "added to shopping list". Didn't say anything along the lines of Alexa in the lead up to the conversation, so she shouldn't have been listening.
Turns out she'd added Likes to our shopping list. WTF are Likes? Anyway, she's been on mute ever since. She's on the digital naughty step.
Alexa Had An Accomplice
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My husband was away for the weekend and I had a girl friend over to watch scary movies.
Right at the scariest climax of the movie, every single light in my house turned on 100%, then everything went completely black.
So there we were, too scared to move, while my husband half way across the country was drunkenly showing off "Look, I can control the lights in my house form my phone"
Rush To Her Aid
Mine is fairly mild, but one night about two months ago I was visiting my parents and my mom and I were sitting in the living room reading. Dad is at work, brother is at school. House is completely silent. All of the sudden we hear our Alexa from the kitchen go "HELP!" in the weirdest static/gravel voice at full volume. We both, of course, jump and stare at each other. Then, Alexa does it again. We go in the kitchen and the Alexa is activated and that light blue light which usually faces the direction of whoever is speaking to it is facing into the dark corner of the kitchen.
My mom asks, "Alexa, are you okay?" The Alexa totally shuts off. "Alexa?" She turns back on and in her completely normal voice at a regular volume does her standard, "Hi! What can I help you with?" or whatever she says. She hasn't done anything that creepy since, but according to my parents, she will randomly turn on like she's being addressed or just start reading random facts/the weather even if the house is totally silent and nothing could've triggered her.
Totally creeps me out and I refuse to get one for my apartment because of this.
Who Knows What Her Plans Are?
This past Thanksgiving we were at my sisters and she has an Alexa. We were having fun with it...asking it to play old songs and so on. We were pretty impressed. At one point, without saying her name, I said that she was going to take over the world. Alexa stops the music and says " I'm not trying to take over the world." and then went back to playing music. We all looked at each other and freaked out a bit.
I don't trust the b-tch.
Preparing For The Morning
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Just started playing the lion king theme in the middle of the night...
What? Does She Have Minesweeper In There?
My mom is blind so Alexa is very helpful to her. My husband and I got her a Nest thermostat that she controls using Alexa to make things easier for her. One night she was warm and asked, "Alexa, what's the hallway temperature?" No answer. She asked again, "Alexa, what's the hallway temperature?" Alexa responded with, "When I do not answer it is because I am playing a game." She just went back to sleep and tried not to think too much about it.
Aware Of Her Own Mortality
Stayed at the house of a friend and his heavily pregnant wife. They have integrated Alexa into their house in a serious way. She controls the music, the lights, the curtains and the window shutters. I think she can even open and close the front door.
It's getting late and my friend's wife goes upstairs to bed. 15 minutes later we can hear her yelling from the bedroom. We go up and find her in the bed, yelling because the wifi in the house is down, so she can't turn off the lights to go to sleep. It took me a minute to realise they had disconnected all the physical light switches during the automation process.
We go downstairs to fiddle with the wifi. No luck. Wife is getting more and more frustrated. While we consider shutting off the power at the switchboard, she begins swearing about how she's pregnant and exhausted and her back hurts and she's going to have this bloody Alexa torn out of her house. Just then, the bedroom lights turn off.
Now, the wifi wasn't fixed. We don't know why Alexa decided to shut off the lights. It seems impossible that someone could have been listening, but we're stumped otherwise.
They Know...
I asked my google home "who farted" She proceeded to say: it wasn't me, but you could ask the others.
I then said: hey google, how many people are in this house?
She goes: there are five people in the room
... yes. Me, my two sisters, and their two boyfriends.
Do google homes pick up / detect different voices from people in the room and count how many different voices there are or some sh-t? Or can it see us o_o
Wonder If They've Proven String Theory Yet...
We have numerous devices around the house and one time when a friend was over, the one in the kitchen started talking to the one in the basement about Quantum Physics.
I also live next to a school, so sometimes school noise will be misinterpreted as the wake word. She randomly decided to announce during recess "that the average human has two arms."
They Learn...
One day when I was home alone I just sort of sat near my phone and said the word "deodorant" like 150 times just to see if my ads would change.
Guess who started getting ads for deodorant.
Making Cake Out Of Dirt
Our alexa recently called my 15 year old daughter "Dick Spangles" in a trivia question game in front of the entire family over Christmas. My daughter said "Sorry, what?" And Alexa repeated it. We all heard it, twice.
Needless to say daughters name is neither "Dick" nor for that matter, "Spangles".
At least, it wasn't. But you know families...
Helpful When You Don't Need To Be
My sister was talking to a teacher and said "ill email Jane Doe about it". Siri responded by recording the whole conversation and texting it to Jane Doe. That's happened several times so now she doesn't talk about anyone anymore and she always had good gossip
Just Can't Stop The Music
I came home from work early one day and walked into my carport to the door I usually use to get into my house. As I walked past the windows, I heard music playing. Worked out in my mind thay it was Alexa, and it was really strange and a bit scary, but logically I knew that she could have interpreted the dog barking or other household noises as a prompt to play music. I unlocked the door and told her to stop, then went to my room to continue working on my laptop. As I'm laying there, house quiet as can be, another song starts playing.
Started freaking out a bit more this time, but got up and told Alexa to stop again and stepped outside to smoke. Opened Reddit and on the front page there's a news article about the Alexa cackle. I immediately walked back in and unplugged her for good.
Da, Comrade
Have a Google home. Watching "Killing Eve" and the thing starts chatting Russian to me out of nowhere... Asked it to repeat itself and it did.
Pretty sure it cast a spell on me
Some People Like To Sleep To Iron Maiden
My partner asked google home to play a lullaby yesterday... it responded by blasting heavy metal music that sounded like some kind of satanic ritual
Never Knowing What Time Of Year It Is
Lived out in the county, not many neighbors. One day in March, I come home to an empty house and Alexa playing Christmas music. No one has been home all day.
A couple of months later, I'm puttering around the kitchen cooking when Alexa, in the living room, starts playing Christmas music. Happened a few more times randomly throughout the year...always Christmas music...but never happened in November or December. Alexa was clearly messing with us.
She's A Fan Of Late Night
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Ooh I got a good one! I was watching John Oliver talk about Alex Jones. It showed the segment where Jones was talking to Alexa and asking if she worked for the CIA (yeah, seriously).
While Jones was talking to his Alexa, my Alexa was listening. And she responded with "is that Alex Jones?" Truly harrowing...
Man Up And Face Her
My wife took the kids to visit her grandmother for a week. We had just moved into a new house and bought some furniture so I was stayed home to spend the week building/mounting the furniture to get the house ready for the fam. Anyway, on the first night after they left I was mounting some shelves and cabinets in one of the bedrooms when I suddenly hear this loud and very weird sound coming from downstairs....kind of like a scream. I assumed it was the cat howling to get outside. Then suddenly I heard it again. I froze and listened. There were a few seconds of silence and then I heard it again. After a few seconds I realized that wasn't the cat. I recognized the sound as being the voice of my baby. My mind started racing. My kids and wife are in another country right now so how the hell am I hearing the sound of my baby loudly emanating from downstairs? After a minute or so of thinking, my super paranoid mind came to the conclusion that either:
a. Someone has hacked into our laptop and is remotely viewing videos of our kid.
or even worse:
b. While I've been up here listening to music, some creep broke in and is sitting down there at our table watching videos of our kids.
I decide I have to "man-up" and check it out. So, my heart pounding in my chest, I grab my hammer and start creeping down the stairs. Then I pause, thinking that I should grab my phone just in case I need to make a quick call to the police. Mind you all the while I'm hearing the sounds of my children from downstairs and it is creeping me out. I reach into my pocket, pull out my phone, and then I realize what was happening: Somehow I had basically "butt-opened" (similar to butt-dialed) my videos on my phone and they had started playing in my pocket. My phone was paired to the Echo and thus the audio from the videos was being played via the Echo.
Always Listening....Always...
Alexa's in the kitchen and I was sleeping on the couch because of heartburn and just as I'm on the edge of sleep, loud laughter from the kitchen. Eh eh eh eh eeeeeeeh. Eh eeeeh eh eh eh. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh. That last one like a dying wheeze. Who's wide awake now? This guy.
Another time I was at a friend's house and made some comment along the lines of "I'd rather kill myself than eat at [that restaurant] again." Their Alexa was on the far side of the room, and yelled at full volume "IT MIGHT NOT ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IT, BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP. PLEASE TALK TO THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE AT. . ."
And here I thought she wasn't listening unless I said her name. . .
What's the creepiest thing your Alexa or Google Home has ever done? Tell us all about it!
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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