People Share The Craziest Conspiracy Theories They've Ever Heard


There is a certain appeal to conspiracy theories we may not like to admit. The world is so vast and with so many people, when bad things go wrong it can sometimes be easier to blame it all on some vast network of random, interconnecting events than to say it all happened by chance. Life can be easier to process if the explanation is more complicated. It means we don't have to understand, to comprehend, to say to ourselves that maybe the world is a little crazy and there's nothing we can do about it.

Or maybe the Illuminati teamed up with a network of pizza restaurants to carry out their dark capitalism on every preschool on the planet.

Reddit user, u/Gorgonzola-Cheese, wanted to know:

What are the craziest conspiracy theories you've ever heard of?

I Knew It!

That chapstick comes in a tube so it will roll away and you lose it, having to buy more.

I'm onto you big chapstick.


On a related note most chapsticks (pretty much all except Aquaphor) contain chemicals that dry out your lips in the long run, making them pointless


All That Mayhem And Destruction...For Avatar?

9/11 never happened and was a mostly CGI-animated film made by James Cameron to test the realism of the technology on the public before he started using it on Avatar.

Source: meth head who talked to me for nearly an hour when I was working at Walmart.


I think that meth head was on to something.

Wait no.....on something.


And Getting Closer Every Day?

The moon is actually super close to the earth, but the size of a potato.


So that makes us the size of ants then...... what 11th dimensional thinking does a person need to come up with that?


This Is A Whole Thing

Barack Obama is gay. Their daughters were bought from a poor family in Chicago. This all stems from a time he slipped up and called her "Michael" in a speech where he was talking about someone named "Michael" every other breath.


Oh it gets worse:

It's one part of a bigger piece of the conspiracysphere which states that there's a shadowy cult of people taking kids and turning them transgender for Satan/reasons unknown/to turn people transgender and famous celebrities are actually transgender, and you can tell by tiny details like hand shape and bone structure.

It's usually something that drags in a motley crew of nutters like the Christian right, TERFS, Transphobes, people who are scared of hooking up with transpeople unknowingly, and Illuminati heads. There's a whole cottage industry of videos that "PROVE" that Taylor Swift was born a boy because of her shoulders and that Michelle Obama was born a boy because she's tall and x female celebrity is really a man because she's not a perfect short curvy ultrafemme woman. The Michelle Obama thing is popular with Trump supporters because, let's face it, Trump supporters hate Obama and believe he's the anti-christ and also hate gays and transpeople.


Every Shot Took 3 Days To Get

That Stanely Kubric was hired to fake the moon landing, but being the perfectionist he was he insisted on shooting on location. This made the moon landing 5x as expensive as they had to launch an entire film crew, and build a studio on the Moon.


Can I See A Menu?

There's a secret cannibalism restaurant in LA and if you get in they have pictures and a list of celebrities with preferences as to how each celebrity likes their human. I like a good conspiracy theory but this one is a little out there for my taste


Protect The Family

The stranger danger campaign intentionally misled families into misplacing their fears of their children being kidnapped by a stranger in a van to protect the American family unit.

Most crimes against children are perpetrated by a person who knows them well and the child is comfortable with, but pointing this out would cause too much distrust of family members lead to the breakdown of family ties.


What You Won't Know Will Never Hurt You

The phantom time hypothesis.

Basically to legitimise his claim to the throne of the holy Roman empire, emperor Otto the 3rd forged the entire history of Europe from around 600 to 900AD and his fictional version of history is the one we believe to be real today.


...This One Is Actually Trippy...

That Disney made the movie Frozen so that when you search for "Disney frozen", it turns up the movie and nothing about Walt Disney himself being cryogenically preserved


That seems like a gigantic waste of 150 million dollars just to hide a conspiracy about a dead guy being frozen.


Governmental Experiments With Drugs

DMT connects you to a different dimension and that's where demons/aliens are. Past societies that started taking this drug like the Aztecs started talking to these demons/aliens and created cool stuff but then started sacrificing people.

Some say the gov. Experimented with DMT at the same time as the LSD experiments and it went good so they're still talking to them aliens bro.


There We Go!

I knew a guy who swore that "Teletubbies" was some CIA mind control sh!t, and that after enough time, we'd all be like Jason Bourne.


I don't even know what to say about that one.


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