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People Share The Comebacks They're Still Proud Of

People Share The Comebacks They're Still Proud Of
Image Source/ Getty Images

Nothing's better than a good comeback. Outside of maybe sneezing, thinking of the perfect zinger in the right moment to snap back in someone's face is the tops. Sometimes, it's such a sweet moment, you'll remember it for the rest of your life.


Reddit user, u/aaredmi, wanted to know the best moment when you had it locked and loaded when they asked:

What was your wittiest comeback that you're still proud of?

Don't Come In Our Pizza Place Looking To Start Something

Working at a pizza shop, troublesome customer tries to stack coupons that clearly state "One coupon per purchase". After being refused by everyone in the restaurant including the owner, he goes on a tirade saying that the District Attorney is his cousin, and was threatening a lawsuit (lol).

As he was heading for the door, he said "You can't afford to mess with me!" I shouted after him, "You can't afford a large pizza!"

cocoamoko

Age Doesn't Mean A Thing

My mom was asking about my daughter and her boyfriend, "Are they going to get married? I'm just not ready to be a Great Grandmother."

"Well, you could try being a good one, first."

gogozrx

Bark Worse Than A Bite

Giphy

Graduated college 2 years ago and am currently working a rather boring desk job to save up money for grad school. My boss has a great doggo that I will periodically walk because I feel bad that it just sits next to me all day without going out much.

Anyways, I had some college friends come visit me (some of which I'm not huge fans of) and one girl said "Hey, how's your job picking up dog sh-t?". I think she must have seen my snapchats or something. I was a little caught off guard by this comment though. We were never super close in college or anything. Luckily, I knew that she still doesn't have a job and is working on her "music career"....

I responded with, "Good. Speaking of dog sh-t, how's your music career going?"

Still feel good about that one. Her music sucks.

erlydecision

Too Good To Be In Contempt

Getting my licence to sell alcohol in a new area. Magistrate had been refusing people all morning and the police officer supporting my application knew this guy refused everybody so we'd apply another day but I still had to go up and be questioned. Part of getting a licence is that there are people you are not allowed to serve. One of these is known prostitutes. He asks me to list all the people to not serve.

Me concluding my list: - and, ahem, known ladies of the evening.

Judge: You mean ladies of the night?

Me: I obviously go out a lot earlier than you, Your Honour.

mattress76

Comes From A Place Of Love

My husband (he's a big fella) said 'don't touch what you can't afford' to me once when I slapped his butt I instantly replied 'not if I'm paying by the pound'

I didn't mean to be nasty it just plopped out before I could stop it.

yarnpig

Kids: 1, Adults: 0

I had just turned 7 (the day before) and I was in the car with my mom and brother after school. My brother and mom were arguing over something and my mom said, "I wasn't born yesterday!" to my brother. I replied saying, "I was!"

It was a good day

The_Sephiroth

Size Always Plays A Part

I used to work as a carpenter's assistant. For some reason, I bought myself a 22 ounce framing hammer, which is, to be honest, more hammer than you'll ever need.

One guy I worked with was teasing me about it: "A real carpenter doesn't need more than a 16 ouncer!"

I replied, "You've been listening to your wife too much."

"Huh?"

"She's been telling you size doesn't matter, right?"

dfBishop

No Matter What Class, It's Going Down

Quick Backstory: So. There is a bully on school and her mother was the typical "I don't pay attention to my son unless he does something 'bad' and I go blame everything else because he is perfect". Also, I've always been skinny and taller than many (rn 6'3" or 1.93m for normal ppl). I can't remember why he said this to me but he said:

Him: At least im not as thin as paper
Me: so what?
Him: It means you don't get food in your house.
Me: Funny. Better than not getting love and attention in your house.

btw we were on class and the professor just looked at me with the face of "that's mah boi" (he and I were big friends)

LeonSRPG

Height Is Everything

I was arguing with my cousin, who was like 5 months older than me when we were like 8. He goes "respect your elders!" to which I responded "Respect your tallers!" since I was like 3 inches taller than him at the time.

Cue my entire extended (Greek, so lots of people) family dying of laughter.

Fillyann1

Two For Eternity

I have two:

The first one was several years ago, when I was still living with my parents. A hurricane had recently hit our area (fortunately our house was fine), which is important context. I've never been a neat person, so my mom came into my room to discover it was a total mess. When she asked me "What happened in here?!" I immediately replied with "A hurricane came through."

The other was more recent. My girlfriend and I were playfully making fun of each other, and she said something along the lines of "Oh yeah? Well, your butt is dumb," and I said "No, I'm a smart-ass."

Sayares13

Banana Size Matters

I work in a fast food restaurant, and we serve shakes and ice creams, and on one particularly busy day about a year ago, I was on the machine trying my best to get the shakes and ice creams out to customers, even though the machine was not working properly.

One particular shift manager (who I always had good banter with), was being a bit of an dick constantly telling me to go faster, and shouting stuff like "where is this?" And "do I have this?" (Basically being tedious) And at one point he said "do I have a large banana?" And I whipped around, peeved as hell, and said "No! But you do have a small one!" He just looked at me, sputtering and after a moment said "well, you didn't have to make it personal." We both then burst out laughing. Still feel proud to this day.

HBTitan

Shocked Gasps Of Excitement

Kid behind me in class was the typical "lol I'm so funny love me" dude who wanted everyone to laugh at him. One day, he called my name said said, "do you want to see a trick?"

I asked, "is it gonna make you disappear?"

"...no?"

"Then I don't care."

To this day, the not-at-all-hushed gasps and "DID YOU HEAR THAT" from other students always makes me proud

Anzieizna

You Can't Make Fun Of Us! Only We Can!

my dads french, meaning that in sports my family supports france. one day i was talking about the french team on the bus coming home from school and a boy says "france is a shite team" (it was the world cup) and i say "oh,, i didn't know you played for france"

i'll never forget the look on his face

Libzyyyyyy

Opinions May Vary

In school, i was at my Latin class, (it was the end of the day) and my shoe was untied, my friend went up to me and said: "Your shoe is untied"

Without thinking, my first line was: "Your mom is untied"

NOTCbg

Brutal Honesty

This happened years ago when I was Asst. Manager at an Auto Parts store. As a female manager of a male dominated industry I have had many inappropriate remarks. My favorite comeback was when a thief attempting to return a third night in a row asked me, while gyrating his pelvis in my direction, when was the last time I had something "big and black" in me. Without missing a beat and in a fit of disgusted frustration I responded...

"The last time I had something big and black in me was when I sh-tted it out, now get the f*&@ out of my store."

In my defense I had had some serious diarrhea for a few days before this.

Ellisande9

Winning The Family Game

Giphy

Late to the game, but at Thanksgiving one year, my whole family was sitting around talking, and winning contests came up. One of my brothers looked at me and snarked, "oh yeah, what was the last thing you ever won?"

I looked around the room at all my blood relatives and answered "By the looks of it, the Genetic lottery."

madewithrealgingers

Insults From A Place Of Love

My then-girlfriend & I were arguing over something petty.

"You're heartless"

"Only because you stole it"

She "aww"''d and then went back into argue-mode.

AnnualAntics

Peaked In High School

When I was in high school, a girl that I had dated for a while and broke up with called me about three months afterward. I picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" and she immediately said, "I just want you to know that I'm having much better sex now."

I replied with, "... Well, tell your dad I said congratulations!" and hung up. I have never been that witty since.

reverendjeffy

What's the comeback you made that still sticks with you? Share it with us!

Two identical goats stare into the camera while standing in a field.
Photo by Jørgen Håland

When discussing love and relationships, the motto is usually less is more.

But what if there is more of one partner?

Being involved with identical twins can be quite the experience.

Can you really tell them apart?

Is everything identical?

If you're attracted to one, aren't you automatically attracted to the other?

So many questions.

Now we need some answers.

Redditor nicknamesofdaveryder wanted to hear about love and the twin experience, so they asked:

"Redditors who married someone with an identical twin sibling, why are you glad you're not with the other twin instead?"

I've never met a lot of twins, let alone gotten involved with a pair.

I have questions.

Hopefully I get some answers.

Saved

Comedy Central Wink GIF by Drunk HistoryGiphy

"My late husband's twin was a non-functioning alcoholic and my husband wasn’t. My husband says joining the navy was what saved him from going down that road."

iteachag5

Falling Asleep

"Story time! I am an identical twin (we still look so much alike!) and one night I spent the night at her house. She and I fell asleep in the same bed because we were up late talking, etc. Her husband slept on the couch. The next morning my twin went to take a shower and her husband laid down on the bed with me (thinking it was her of course). I jokingly said 'Hey sailor, looking for a little variety?' He shot off the bed and said 'If I was looking for variety, do you think I'd choose you??'"

tanyagal2

The Good Guy And The Other One

"I didn't marry him but I dated an identical twin. His twin's girlfriend and I used to joke around that she got the evil twin. He was just a selfish, messed-up person. One of the benefits of breaking up with my boyfriend was no longer having his twin in my life. Plus, his ex gf and I are still great friends! The good guy was just the lesser evil. She wanted to get as far away from that family as I did. The best thing to come out of those relationships was our friendship."

super-ro

Love Wins

"My dad's an identical twin. People have a hard time distinguishing them, but to my mom and me, they look like two completely different people because of the way they walk/talk/etc. Obviously, my mom only fell in love with this one person. When you love someone it's actually pretty easy to tell identical twins apart."

michaelsgavin

Issues

Threaten Ashley Olsen GIFGiphy

"The other twin has the same personality as I do. We argue readily and are super competitive with each other. We butt heads on a lot of issues."

why_not_send_a_nude

Personality clashes aren't just a twin thing.

It's a human thing.

We can't help ourselves.

Different People

Triplets GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy

"I work with a guy who married an identical triplet, one of the triplets also works with us. I asked him one day if it was weird working with someone who looked just like his wife. He got a little pissed and basically said they are all very different people and he doesn't see much of his wife in her."

LeafMeAlone_99

He's Evil

"We’re not married but known each other since we were 12 and have been together 3 and a half years. His twin is a massive di**head who tried to break us up multiple times, was madly in love with me in his own words, and after 2 years of pursuing me declared I was a terrible person and put him through hell. Because I didn’t break up with his TWIN BROTHER to date him."

xMollyP

Life Choices

"My husband and his twin brother look very different to me, although they are identical and get mistaken for one another all the time. They couldn’t be more different in terms of personality. They have different values and life goals, hobbies, one is introverted and the other is extroverted. If they were two people who didn’t look alike, I would automatically not be attracted to my brother-in-law simply because we are not remotely compatible personality-wise."

"Also they have very different styles. I do not find the way my husband’s twin dresses/grooms his hair attractive. It’s so wild to me when people can’t tell them apart because they couldn’t be more different in my eyes."

lanieeeeeeee

Opposites

"Well, my wife and I have been together for 30 years. She has a 'mirror' twin. Even now, if you don’t know them well or interact frequently you will not be able to tell them apart. They are complete opposites. I married the extrovert, she has never met a stranger, will try anything at least once, and can find a positive aspect in almost everything she encounters, they are also best friends, my wife drags her sister along all the time."

"Once she’s out she enjoys our activities. I love my SIL, all three of them, but so glad I married the one like me. The mirror part even goes for looks, when I see my wife’s reflection I see my SIL, it’s weird sometimes. Also, attitude and personality are everything, I have never been 'attracted' to her twin."

redbonecouchhound

The Look

Sexy Damon Wayans Jr GIF by Global TVGiphy

"I used to date an identical twin. Although I found his brother objectively handsome, I wasn't attracted to him at all. It was cool to directly experience how attraction goes far beyond just the looks."

Liatessa

I've never been intrigued by twins, and now I never will be.

confused man in blue t-shirt

Sander Sammy on Unsplash

My Father was considered a genius.

At 16 he graduated high school as Valedictorian, joined the United States Navy as soon as he turned 17 then was promptly recruited by Admiral Hyman Rickover's team converting the Navy from diesel to nuclear power.

He served as a nuclear and electrical engineer on naval vessels after the conversion project ended, then as a reactor inspector for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission after retiring from the Navy.

He also needed a full time babysitter in order to survive. Things like paying bills, buying groceries, feeding himself all escaped him. He lacked any semblance of common sense.

Really smart people doing very unsmart things isn't uncommon.

And sometimes a person is labeled a genius who's really an idiot with good brand marketing.

Keep reading...Show less

Corporations don't get big overnight.

A lot of tough decisions, big wins, and sometimes even bigger losses, go into their growth.

But sometimes companies make mistakes that the public simply cannot let slide, and it can be hard to imagine how the company could stay afloat after the backlash.

Redditor Astro_Shogun asked:

"What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?"

Dang It, Photobucket

"When Photobucket decided to take the whole internet hostage by asking for 400 dollars a year for what was previously a free image storage solution. The move broke years of forum posting and erased a significant portion of the web collective knowledge."

- denpo

"Yup. And now they're holding almost all of my son's childhood photos (some of which I managed to save in other places) hostage."

- KnockMeYourLobes

"Browse any forum thread from the early 2000s and practically all the images are gone because everyone used Photobucket back then. It will be the same way with Reddit whenever Imgur goes under."

- NothingOld7527

So Salesy

"JCPenny doing away with sales and trying to present itself as a more upscale store. Sales immediately plummeted, and they reversed course quickly."

- flyingcircusdog

Cheap Jewelry

"Gerald Ratner said the reason his jewelry company could sell stuff so cheap was because the products were crap. It destroyed the company overnight."

- simplemtbman

Front Wheel Drive

"Ford, in the '80s, tried to replace the aging Fox body Mustang with a front-wheel drive, Mazda-based car. This was pre-internet, but car people got UPSET and deluged Ford with a letter expressing their anger."

"Ford backtracked, kept the Fox body around, and released the vehicle that was going to be the new Mustang as the Probe. It lasted two generations, but the Mustang soldiers on."

- StillN0tATony

Online Only

"Microsoft got roasted when they announced Kinect and always-online were required for the Xbox One. Took all the momentum they had from the 360 era and put them miles behind Sony."

- Jerry_Williams89

Childhood: Destroyed

"Sonic having human teeth."

- LightDash

"I just immediately pictured teeth in a Sonic milkshake and had a horrified reaction before my brain caught up to you meaning the character."

- Rolizas

Questionable Upgrades

"Very recently, T-Mobile. A company that 10 years ago called itself the Uncarrier by making a series of pro-consumer changes to its plans and the previous CEO built almost a sort of cult of fans of the company. Then T-Mobile acquired Sprint and got a new CEO."

"A couple of weeks ago, T-Mobile internal documentation revealed it was going to automatically upgrade customers on old grandfathered plans up to new plans, which were more expensive. Customers would have to call in to opt out of the change. 'They weren’t raising customers’ rates, they were moving them to better plans.'"

"Well, major tech news got ahold of that, and then even some local news stations, and T-Mobile quietly 'clarified' a week later via internal communications that only one percent of their customers would be affected."

- artimaticus8

Coming Together in Hate

"Anyone remember the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad when she solved police brutality?"

- vernon3

"Those moments are precious. There are a few things these days that bring everyone on the Internet together. That was one of those things. We all hated the Pepsi ad that solved police brutality."

"That ad had it all. Pandering, ignorance, arrogance, and talking down to their audience."

- notwoutmyprob

"And a Kardashian."

- Kitchen_action

With Every Purchase

"I couple of years back a local Detroit area car dealership decided the best way to celebrate MLK day was to give away free car alarms with every purchase."

"Nobody liked that."

- graveybrains

A Sale Gone Too Well

"Hoover UK offering two free flights to America if you spend £100 on their products. They anticipated that people would spend a lot more than the minimum required which would cover the approximately £600 value of the tickets."

"When the company was deluged with purchases around the £100 mark, they reneged on the offer, which prompted a very expensive lawsuit. The fallout was so bad that the UK division of the firm was sold to a rival company."

- Live-Dance-2641

New Drink, Who Dis?

"New Coke."

- PeggyWithPhatA**

"After the relations disaster, the public clamored for the decision to be reversed, and Coca-Cola released 'Coke Classic.'"

"Coke Classic soon had an even higher market share than Coke did before the public relations fiasco, and a new theory made the rounds: that Coca-Cola deliberately made these decisions, simply to gain publicity, and increase market share."

"The reaction from Coca-Cola’s executives was, 'We aren’t that smart, and we aren’t that stupid.'"

- Malthus1

A Tweet Turned Sexist

"Burger King stating that 'Women Belong in the Kitchen.' What they were TRYING to say was that they wanted more diversity. People didn't see it that way, and in the end, they had to issue an apology."

- zerbey

The Downfall of an Incredible Publication

"Here’s one there should be a public outcry about."

"Disney bought National Geographic and controls everything it does. This is the last year the iconic magazine will be available. I’m incensed."

- redheadMInerd2

(The writer of this article is equally incensed.)

Predicting the Future

"I feel like whatever YouTube is cooking up lately will be the next one."

- Just_Aioli_1233

"Tech companies sure know how to kill off highly popular and profitable apps, super quick. It’s interesting to watch it happen in real-time. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, all losing tons of followers and destroying their own stock."

- Eleanor_of_Accutane

It's easy to see how all of these mistakes resulted in huge backlash, sometimes at the total expense and downfall of the business.

But some of these mistakes were made by companies that are still huge today, and to a certain extent, that's kind of surprising.