My ex husband had a super strict NO BUFFETS rule. I thought it was a bit odd, but I had no idea how right that man was to have that rule. I'd only ever been to higher-end sushi buffets where you could see everything, and a Ponderosa once or twice as a kid during a Disney vacation. Six year olds don't care about hygiene when they're all hopped up on the mouse.
Fast forward a few years to my very own Disney vacation. My children (the oldest was about 7 for this) really wanted to go to a buffet. Since Daddy wasn't with us to act as a buffet-blocker, we totally went.
And we totally regretted it.
Can I just ask why people feel compelled to lick the communal serving utensils?!? How hard is it to cover your mouth when you sneeze? Do you really need to dip your finger into every sauce and taste test it?
I left with so many questions; as well as a newly adopted NO BUFFETS rule ... and a stomach bug.
Reddit user no_walking_anytime asked:
Brace yourselves, dear readers. Things are about to get incredibly vomitastic. I know that's not a "real" word, but trust me - it's the only word that fits.
My mother insisted on going to Hometown Buffet because she found a coupon in the newspaper. The whole buffet smelled heavily of bleach. All the food tasted like it was trying to die but the preservatives were keeping it on life support far beyond normal reason. I stuck mainly to the salad bar and fruits. I'd been using the small portion plates to make salad with veggies and a little ranch dressing. I went back for a 3rd small plate of salad and veggies. I grabbed the ladle in the ranch dressing tub and poured it over my salad, at that moment a ranch dressing covered lego man fell out of the ladle and onto my food.
I kept him. He's chilling in one of my toolboxes somewhere.
Old Lady Vomit
One time I went with my parents and some relatives to Las Vegas. My dad was starving himself all day so he could fill up on crab legs at the Paris buffet.
So anyway, these relatives are just bitter, slow, awful people who make the whole day miserable. One of them is a very old woman in a wheelchair that my dad is pushing around all day. Basically he's hot and hungry and miserable; but excited for dinner. It's the only thing he's looking forward to all day.
We get to the buffet, get our table, dad doesn't even sit - he just goes straight for the food. While he is gone. the old lady throws up all over the table. Stinky, old lady vomit would bother anyone, but my dad specifically is a sympathy puker.
The relatives tried to complain and say the food made her sick, but we didn't even eat yet! We ended up leaving without eating anything. Some other tables nearby cleared out as well.
I was really young when this happened but I remember my dad walking back towards the table with a huge plate of crab legs and big smile and then his face just totally falling lol
Way back before you needed a Canadian passport to cross the border into the US, my family would make regular trips into Michigan and Ohio. Once we were at a Ponderosa buffet and my dad put something on his plate that he couldn't identify - he wasn't sure if it was chicken or fish even after tasting it but for some ungodly reason he ate the rest anyway.
Cut to twenty minutes later and we're all packed into the van listening to my dad LOUDLY vomit repeatedly into a bush in the parking lot. He sounded like someone was forcibly tearing out his insides and I still remember the sound to this day.
People walked right past him and kept going inside to eat.
The No Sugar Kid
When I was an emo middle schooler, my best friend's mom forced me to join girl scouts with them. One day she took the whole girl scout troop out to a restaurant with a salad bar buffet. I got stuck sitting next to a girl I hated. She was VERY religious and this was the first time she had ever been away from her mom (she was around 14) and she wasn't allowed to have sugar.
She ordered a large strawberry milkshake, chugged it, ate a huge plate full of spinach with ranch on it, and then vomited bright pink vomit all over the table, the floor, herself, and me. The worst part was that we had to sit in the car with her for the 2 hour drive home, holding our breath.
Boiling Hot Crab Water
Went to a buffet for my dad's birthday one Saturday night. The workers had just brought out the new tray of crab legs and there was a line forming. My family and I waited patiently in line, when the guys in front of us starting arguing because one of them was taking too long to pick which pieces he wanted. Arguing turned into shoving, and then finally one of the guys pushed ahead and stuck his hand into boiling hot water, grabbed a couple crab legs, threw them on his plate and left the line. Pretty sure he had to leave soon after because he had some serious burns on his hand.
I'll never forget when I was a teenager and working the buffet line at a Ponderosa steakhouse, this morbidly obese child had a plate with a MOUNTAIN of food. Like some of literally almost everything from the buffet. Mashed potatoes, pizza, chicken wings, jello, pudding, like EVERYTHING piled on top of each other.
So I go up to him because it was bizarre and I'm like "Hey you know you can use a second plate?"
He said "I'm only allowed to have one plate"
His parents were trying to restrict his diet and he just found a loophole. But if you have a kid with this sort of issue, maybe don't go to a buffet?
Roast Beef Lady
I remember going to one a few months ago and there was a lady seated next to my table. I was eating when she leaned in and asked, "Hey, what's that you're eating?" I told her it was roast beef. She said, "Looks good. Mind if I try some?" and proceeded to cut a piece off ofmy plate with a fork she had used! She decided she really liked it and left to go get some more from the carving station.
I pushed the plate aside and finished everything else. I left to go cut some more roast beef when I see that there's no more left. Then I see the lady - I kid you not- with about 3/4 (all that was left) of it on her plate. I just got something else from the food bar.
After about 30 minutes, the lady only ate a quarter of the roast beef before loudly exclaiming, "I'm full! Excuse me, may I get my check?"
The waitress came over and said that she had wasted too much food and explained that they charged 20% more for wasted food. The lady got really mad and yelled "Heck no!"
She tried to leave paying only the regular price before the waitress told her she hadn't paid everything. The lady yelled "This is one scam business you guys have!" but she finally agreed to pay. On her way out the door, she yelled "I'm telling all my friends about you guys!" and stormed off.
People just kind of looked at her and continued on.
Mini Octopus. Never AgainGiphy
I had an internship a few years ago with an engineering group of an industrial plant. Every now and again they would go out somewhere for lunch and invite me along. One day they decided to go to a Chinese buffet nearby. I love Chinese food and cheap Chinese food so I was totally game. It was your typical Chinese buffet, and was actually pretty good.
But then one of my colleagues brought back on a plate the source of my soon to be woes. A singular mini octopus. I have no idea what the proper name was, but it was just a tiny octopus pickled in something, and was about the size of a thumb tip. He brought it back as a joke kind of passing it around trying to get people to try it.
Then I said "I'll give it a shot."
Everyone just kind of laughed and looked at me, but I insisted and he put it on my plate. Now I'm a pretty adventurous eater and love trying new and especially weird foods. I'll try just about anything and enjoy doing so. I had also had octopus many times before served several different ways so I thought "how bad can it be?"
I don't remember the exact flavor but it was vinegary and salty for sure. That and it tasted like it was sitting on the buffet for a week. The texture was worse. The best way to describe it is like trying to eat a rubber bouncy ball. I tried to chew it a bit but made little progress. So at this point everyone at the table is asking how it was, and somehow through all my grimacing I manage to say "not great."
They kind of awkwardly change the subject while I find myself in a weird position. I want to spit it out, however I was sure doing so would have made me vomit all over the table. But the thing was so damn hard to chew that if I actually chewed it properly I would have vomited anyway. So I decided to just swallow it mostly whole and get it over with. It was extremely unpleasant and an all around bad time.
However, my pain didn't stop there. Oh no. The real pain came when we got back.
Almost immediately after getting back to the maintenance office I could feel it. My bowels were in some of the most intense pain I ever felt. I very quickly got up and headed out of the office towards the bathroom, grabbing a clipboard on the way out to make it look like I was actually going to work instead of my own personal hell. I get to the bathroom and sit on the toilet.
The most vile poo you've ever seen. It felt like it was relentless. It burned so bad and I hadn't even eaten any spicy food. The fact that I didn't cry or scream still amazes me. As I'm writing this right now my bowels are crying in pain over the memory of what happened.
Wiping was the revenge of my expelled demon. It was like trying clean up an oil spill with one paper towel. The single ply toilet paper never stood a chance. Wad after wad, wipe after wipe came back brown, as if I had never even attempted.
Eventually though, I was finished. There was no more material, and no more wiping. There was already enough damage done. I wash my hands and look in the mirror at the broken man before me.
Then I check my phone and realize that I had been in the bathroom for over an hour and a half. Realizing this, I grab my clipboard, walk out of the bathroom, and head back to the engineering office trying my best to look like I accomplished something. I walk back into the office and sit back down at my laptop. No one says a word to me. They knew. They had to have. But they didn't say a thing.
So, yeah. That's my worst buffet experience. Mini octopus. Never again.
The Moment It Dawned On Me
Years ago, I would take my father to lunch every weekend. He loved buffets, preferring all-you-can-eat restaurants over finer dining establishments. On one such lunch occasion, we were quietly enjoying our first plates, and I see a teenager hurriedly making his way to the restroom. The kid has one hand over his mouth, and puke is running through his fingers and around his cupped hand. I immediately lose my appetite, and just hang out as my dad goes back a couple more times.
Cut to 20 min later, and I see puke kid at the buffet, loading up his plate, handling the same serving utensils as everyone else. I'm sure he did his best to clean up, but this still grossed me out. That's the moment it dawned on me that every customer, hygienic or otherwise, handles these same utensils. The guy that licks his fingers, the kid that picks his nose, the lady with an itchy armpit...
Pizza And A Fire Engine
I was a volunteer firefighter back in my home town. After a Saturday training class we went to Cici's, an all you can eat pizza joint. It wasn't my normal shift so I kinda pigged out, I think I earned it given the training we had just gone through. Most calls we get are medical emergencies and given that I wasn't on the responding shift I figured I was in the clear. I was wrong.
Towards the end of my pizza binge a call goes out a few districts over. It's a brush fire threatening a mobile home park. Weekends are usually when most volunteer departments have man power, and given that it was an actual fire we all figured departments would be fighting over it. Nope.
First department gets toned out, no answer. Second gets toned out, still no one answering. Third gets toned out, with an update of a confirmed mobile home fire. Well at that point we have made it to the fire engines and the chief offers our department to respond since nobody else is. One fire engine, one tanker (water tender, depending on where you are from), and utility vehicle with the chief and another fire fighter on board. We are bringing everything you could need to this fire. We are still the only department (district) that has answered.
So there I am in the back of the engine trying to get my bunker gear and scba on. It isn't easy to do that in a moving vehicle much less in an out dated fire engine with less room than a dressing room in a department store. I'm feeling the pizza at this point but once I sit back down all seems to be ok.
We get on scene and I jump out and start pulling an attack line off the truck. Get all 200 feet situated and ready. The chief puts two guys on that hose and yells for me to pull the other line. I feel the weight of every slice I put into my trap with each movement I make. But adrenaline has command so I pull another 200 ft of hose. By then other departments have started arriving.
Chief puts me and another fire fighter on that hose and we start concentrating on the fire on the outside and threatening other homes. I had to open my air flow valve all the way just to keep from puking in my mask. It's hot and sweaty and my pizza burps are not helping at all. I went through a 20 minute pack of air in 10 minutes. Once I was out of air the subs were put in.
The medical team there to support rehab zeroed in on me at this point. Apparently I was very pale and looked like I was going to pass out. I walked pass them, all the while they are trying to get me to sit down, and barfed up everything from that days meal. I swear it didn't stop for a good 2 minutes.
Once I was done with that I felt great. I continued to assist with outside operations, the med team wouldn't let me go anywhere near a spot where full gear was needed. We were able to save the surrounding homes. Once back at the station I let my mask soak in disinfectant to get the smell out.
"Yeah, We Know..."Giphy
Went to Golden Corral while I was pregnant, and after we'd finished eating I reached to get a napkin out of the dispenser on the table and a roach came out with the napkin. I immediately wanted to vomit. I called the manager over and told her what happened. She said "Yeah, we know. We're working on it but we just can't seem to get rid of the infestation. We even had somebody come spray last night but I guess it didn't help."
I freaking lost it. I ended up reporting them to the health department after the manager told me she wasn't sure anything had been cleaned after the pest control company sprayed the night before.
Some people typically don't like being told what to do because they think they already know what they're doing.
That is until they stumble and land on their face.
It turns out what they were resistant to accepting in the first place was accurate all along.
If only they listened.
Curious to hear of other people's growing pains, Redditor TinyUnderstanding948 asked:
"What lesson did you have to learn the hard way?"
You can protect yourself with these reminders.
Leave A Paper Trail
"Any monetary or business agreement needs to be in writing!"
Observing The Fine Print
"Read the contract."
Generally speaking, business relationships and friendships are mutually exclusive.
"Not everyone you work with is your friend."
What Venting Led To
"My grandmother learned that the hard way a few years ago. Had been in the same industry since the 90s, was being paid less than she was worth honestly. On a break at work, she was venting to a coworker she thought she was friends with, about someone who worked in the same place as them."
"Word got back to the boss pretty fast and they used it as an excuse to stop giving her work and forced her out; they preferred a younger workforce that they could pay less. She had to retire without much savings, had to sell her house and move in with my aunt, and now has to live off of social security benefits. She probably would have never retired if she hadn't been forced to; because of her age, she wasn't able to get hired anywhere else."
"I work with someone who will laugh with you and pretend to be your buddy but as soon as you turn your back, she's already b*tched about you to 20 people and whined about you asking for her help with some small tasks (even though she offered her support)."
"The worst part is she is part of the HR team and she has a documented history of exploding at people, harassment and bullying, and not doing her job (because she spends most of her time crying and complaining). She is the stereotypical HR representative."
Consumers who were previously taken advantage of have the following advice to pass along.
Splurge On Good Quality
"Buy it nice or buy it twice."
"This is 100% accurate but needs a disclaimer: expensive does not always equate to nice."
The relationships we have with people are complex, but you may want to keep these in mind.
Extending A Lifeline
"You can’t always help people. You can show them you care and point them toward help, but it’s up to them to get better. And if you fail, it’s not your fault."
"You can't have a relationship with someone's potential."
Achieve Mutual Adoration
"Loving someone doesn't mean they will keep loving you."
And when it comes to your health, listen up.
"Drink plenty of water."
"It's hard to know when you're dehydrated sometimes. Felt terrible and didn't know why. Never felt thirsty. Had skin issues, lack of sleep, irritability, lack of concentration, dizzy spells, could not function at work, among other things."
"Ended up at the ICU with an IV drip for severe dehydration."
"DRINK YOUR WATER!"
While advice from the people we care about comes from a good place, they are not always appreciated.
Sometimes, we have to make our own mistakes in order to fully comprehend why we should apply certain standards to the way we go about our lives.
At least for me, I've found that picking myself up and dusting myself off was most effective.
As patients, we rely on the expertise of medical professionals to be able to identify whatever ailments we're suffering through.
We brace ourselves if we fear the worst, but oftentimes, we end up being comforted by a minor diagnosis.
But all the medical degrees and years of education can't teach doctors to practice empathetic, yet professional, doctor-to-patient interaction on a basic human level.
That has to come naturally.
Curious to hear from patients who have had disappointing or distressing interactions with their physicians, Redditor TheSpasticSheep asked:
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
It's horrifying when even doctors don't have a clue about your condition and, even worse, they gaslight you.
"A gentleman I worked with showed up to work one day looking extremely sick. He was incredibly feverish, had muscle and joint aches, very lethargic and was looking very jaundiced."
"we insisted that he go to the doctor, as he looks like he is on deaths door. He told us that he had been to 2 separate doctors and the ER, letting them know that he has Malaria, and can they please give him some anti malarials. Both doctors and the ER insisted that it 'was impossible to have malaria, as Australia doesn't have malaria,' and that he probably just had the flu, or some other viral infection. And they are correct. We don't have malaria here. But, what they failed to grasp was that this gentleman was an expat who worked in Africa for a number of years, and has had malaria 5 times already. So not only is he an expert in what malaria 'feels' like, but he is also at risk of developing malaria again, even if he hasn't been to Africa in a few years."
"He ended up having to go back to the ER, and basically force them to run a test for Malaria, after which they were like 'oh wow, you do have malaria.' And he was like 'no sh*t, i told you that 2 days ago.'"
Not Going Mental
"I had smashed my face on my steering wheel during a bad car accident and was experiencing intense pain. I teared up when he put the scope in my nose and was told I obviously have psychological problems and if I went on medication it might not help my pain, but I wouldn't care as much."
"Finally found a good doctor and surgery removed the chunk of nose bone that was stabbing into a nerve in my face."
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
"I had a growth on my scalp a few years ago and went to see a skin cancer specialist. Who said it was a malenoma and I was going to need most of my scalp removed. Without even having a biopsy. He starts telling me to prepare myself for this surgery that will disfigure me. I was about 19 at the time with long hair. He started saying ill need to wear a wig and my hair may not grow back and the skin above my eyes will need to be removed."
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Years ago, one of the sexual health nurses at my work told me she just saw a woman who very clearly had a scabies infestation around her genitals. She said the treatment was simple and that a cream was applied with almost instant relief. She said what upset her about that patient was that almost a year earlier she’d been to a doctor about the infestation, the doctor didn’t even inspect her and just prescribed her antidepressants. I was horrified and still am over 7 years later. So much medical gaslighting."
"Too Young" For Cancer
"Not one, but two doctors to my dad- 'you’re too young to have prostate cancer, no need for a biopsy, it’s just a bladder problem.'”
"He died 15 months later from an aggressive prostate cancer that spread to create tumors all over his body."
The "Sad" Pill
""While teaching abroad in Vietnam I was struggling with depression. The doc diagnosed me with homesickness and prescribed a box of 160 hydrocodone to take 'when I feel sad.'"
"I was 21 and this was 2007, way before pill use was talked about mainstream. Subsequent boxes were $12 each at a walk up pharmacy, no script needed. I became addicted for 6 years."
"Edit, as I have many people stating that pill use has been discussed forever: I’m talking about the point we got to where most people knew about the dangers of opioids, what the main ones were, the fact that they were being overprescribed etc. Had I heard the word hydrocodone and been exposed to the world and media like I have over the last decade with the spotlight on the opioid crisis, I would never have taken them. That’s the main point I was attempting to make."
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
A NSFW Observation
"Not a doctor, but a dentist. When I was like 13 or 14 he commented on my lack of gag reflex, telling me that I’m going to be 'very popular with the boys.' It took me a few years to realize what he meant by that."
Mom To The Rescue
"I was the opposite. My dentist said, 'If you always gag like that, you're never going to find a good husband!'"
"I didn't understand why my mom yanked me out of the dentist's chair, but I'm proud of her for that. I think I was 6 or 7 years old."
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
"Mentioned that my sex drive was abnormally low to my gyno, and she said my husband just needed to be more forceful when initiating and I’d get into it. Immediately switched doctors and never looked back!"
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
"Mine was the opposite. Moved and went to a new gyno that several women raved about. I expressed concern over my low sex drive (especially since I was only 25). The next thing I know she is giving speeches and pamphlets and trying to give me info on women’s shelters. I was so confused."
"She just jumped to the conclusion I must be a battered woman. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was being abused. I tried to reassure her no, my husband was definitely NOT the problem and he was actually quite good in bed and extremely attentive to my needs. It was clearly a physical problem."
"Never went back. She even called several times to 'check' on me. I get that some women may need this, but I mean there was literally no red flags, quite the opposite. It was weird."
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Patients should never have their stresses exacerbated by an unqualified doctor giving them a false analysis or downplaying their concerns.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
It didn't occur to me until I was a kid when my mother had to gently explain to me that not everyone ate rice & beans.
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
I've always been weird about food tastes and textures and mom needed to warn me that the beans I could expect would be nothing like what I knew.
They would be sweet, have big chunks of chewy pork (which would also be sweet), and would NOT be served with rice.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
"They don't eat that. They do fried chicken a little different and they tend to eat things like rotisserie chicken instead."
Y'all should have seen my face.
It's been thirty years and I still struggle with the idea of not eating rice and beans all the time. I've come to understand that not everyone grew up in a Caribbean cultural household, though, and most Americans ate from a whole other menu.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
"That's because of it's native American roots, fun fact Cajun peppers are named after the south American tribe that influenced the Spanish/French who brought it to Louisiana. Maque Choux is also a very native American dish that can be found in Mexico as Calabasitas."
They Are Fundesperate housewives eating GIFGiphy
"Curly fries 👌"
"Recently came across Carl’s jr for the first time in Istanbul airport and the curly fries were just the best"
"the fun thing about curly fries is that they are basically the same everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's one company supplying all the different fast food places"
"I hate to sound like an ignorant foreigner but a made from scratch Mac & Cheese with at least 3 different cheeses plus a crispy breadcrumb crust on top is one of my favorite American dishes"
"Mac & Cheese is such a favorite of family get-togethers that if you volunteer to cook it, your Mac & Cheese needs references."
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
Thankful For Thanksgiving.I Love You Cooking GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"I'm from Mexico and we get spoiled with our traditional cuisine but I found the thanksgiving dinner experience in the US incredible."
"Love everything, the turkey (dark meat :) ), cranberry sauce, the stuffing (oh the stuffing), mashed potatoes, salads and the delicious pays that follow for dessert. That whole combination plus the red wine and good company is an incredible experience hard to match."
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
"As an American who loves the Thanksgiving and other holiday classics this warms my heart to hear from someone whose cultural cuisine is considered a full on cultural heritage of humanity by UNESCO."
"A nicely done, quality turkey with proper attention paid to all the sides, and good friends and/family is such a great experience."
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
"Anything smoked: brisket, pork shoulder, chicken, turkey. I've even had smoked burgers. If seasoned well you don't even need BBQ sauce and it is so tender and juicy."
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
"I love smoked brisket. I agree with you about the sauce. Taste the brisket before dunking in another flavor."
"Native Texan here. Agreed. The general rule here is that you never sauce beef. Let the flavor of the meat stand for itself. Hell, there are some places in Texas (particularly in Lockhart) that will ask you to leave their establishment if you ask for BBQ sauce."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
Risk It Allhungry bart simpson GIFGiphy
"This is probably a recipe for disaster but I'm British and growing up visiting Florida I would love eating raw cookie dough from the refrigerator section"
"Cookie dough is so good that, given the option between not eating it, or getting food poisoning, nearly everyone will pick the cookie dough."
"It’s one of the few foods in the country where everyone knows the risk of food poisoning, and everyone makes the conscious, willing, and eager decision to not give a f*ck."
"All of us here in the U.S. know that eating the cookie dough is the best part of making homemade chocolate chip cookies. I have a recipe for brownies with a cookie dough topping. Cookie dough ice cream is also extremely common (it’s vanilla ice cream with cookie dough bits mixed in)."
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
"Ah, finally! A person of culture. Banana pudding is the closest food can come to a religious experience."
Cornbread!cornbread cooking GIF by emibobGiphy
"Oddly enough, no one seems to have mentioned it…but cornbread . Yeah , as a guy who moved here , Americans have got cornbread down to a T . Combined with some soul food ? Makes me smile on the inside . Gives me high blood pressure , but smile on the inside too"
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, at first i thought it was a disgusting combo, but when i tried i loved it"
"Interesting, most people in America are introduced to pb&j before we're even old enough to remember"
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
"That was my most frequent meal in elementary school. I didn't realize it was an American thing until recently."
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
As American As It Getspulp fiction breakfast GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"I may be a simpleton, but an average diner with bottomless filter coffee, pancakes, bacon and syrup was my favourite part of the day. Although I did put on about 10-15kg after a month in Texas"
"I missed this sooooo much when I lived in the UK (grew up in New Jersey, land of diners). They simply do not do American diner breakfasts in Europe."
"My wife is German, I am American but we live in Germany. We took her parents to the states with us one summer on vacation and one of the things they insisted we do was go to a diner where they pour your coffee at the table, like in movies and tv shows."
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
So remember how I said that I wasn't really exposed to American food until I was a bit older, even though I was born and raised in America?
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
There is no greater meal for after a night of drinking than a good meatloaf and a nice herb and garlic mashed potato.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.
Have you ever been caught in a conversation you didn't want to be in? Or start talking to someone only to realize you want to stop? Perhaps you were talking to a friend when the conversation took a turn for the uncomfortable.
Whatever the case, we've all been in those situations where we want the conversation to stop, but don't want to be rude.
When I was in third grade, I asked if I voted on American Idol that week. I said yes, since everyone seemed to, but of course I didn't know what American Idol was. Being pop culture challenged, I thought it was a ship. Needless to say everyone was confused when I was asked who I voted for and I replied, "What do you mean? I voted for American Idol!"
It didn't take me long to realize something was amiss, and I probably would've very rudely excused myself from the conversation (fueled by my embarrassment) if my teacher hadn't called us to attention at that very moment.
Luckily, the people of Reddit were willing to share their methods to politely end a conversation when Redditor Spritti33asked:
"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Extricate Yourself Immediately
"When they draw a breath, politely say:"
""On that note, I must be on my way.""
Then, simply leave."
Couldn't Get Him To Shut Up
"Yea I worked with a dude who needed to talk. I just talked to him to be polite and not awkward. And I remember him saying "at least you're not one of those people who are silent all day". In my head I'm like, "FUCK, I wish I could be silent all day but now that you said that it would be even more awkward."
"At some point, I just mentally said f**k it and started giving him one-word replies. I think he got the hint because he started talking to me less. Eventually, he quit after a couple of months so it's all good!"
"But some people just need to talk for whatever reason. I need my freaking silence."
Put It In Writing
"I once worked with a man that managed to say nothing, despite talking nonstop. He would explain an issue to me over the span of 5 min. I would say "OK, so the issue you're having is x?" and he would say "No" then launch into a 5 min monologue about something completely different. One time, after half an hour talking with him I still had no idea what the problem was, so I said "put all the issues in an email so I can put it in the queue" and just left. Never got a coherent email either but at least a rambling incoherent email is easier to walk away from and less time-consuming."
Put Them (Back) To Work
"If you're in an office building with someone (or any location the person you're talking to has a desk), one trick you can try is walking them back to their desk, say something like "well, I'll let you get back to it!", then turn around and leave."
Taking Care Of Each Other
"My workplace has someone like this and it’s pretty much become a part of our culture to monitor who is trapped talking to her, for how long they’ve been stuck, and to rescue them after an appropriate amount of time has passed. She doesn’t get it, and probably never will."
Talk To The Door
"My husband worked with a woman who would not stop talking. Just wouldn't. So you'd gather your stuff, while she monologued. You'd say goodbye to everyone else, while she monologued. You'd walk to the door as she followed you and shut the door in her face while she monologued. You could hear her still talking to you behind the closed door while you walked away."
Take Your Turn
"I learned a trick. Most excessive talkers hate listening. So I simply participate and tell my own stories. After one or two stories they are usually ready to leave themselves to seek their next victim."
Create A Deadline
"My entire dad's side of the family are the type that never stop talking."
"The key to getting a word in is to just respond to whatever you wanted to add to even if they are still talking. It might feel rude but most people who are like that were raised in environments where that's the norm or in the case of people with disorders like ADHD and Autism, they most likely know they have the tendency and will roll with it."
"Best way I've found to get end a conversation with ramblers is to set a deadline as early as possible in the conversation (ex: I have to leave at 6pm to get to ______ on time). If you do this you can do the "I'm sorry I really have to go" and immediately leave without offending them because you've already set the expectation that you would be leaving at a certain time."
"This is why I hate taking Lyft/Uber alone, I seem to always get the folks who just want to talk the entire time. My boyfriend tells me to just not engage but when you’re in a car with someone it’s kinda hard not to. The ONE time I just wore headphones the whole time, the driver at the end said “maybe you’ll actually talk next time”"
No Need To Feel Bad
"People who are like this expect folks to just walk away from them while they are talking because that’s the only way the conversation ends. It’s not rude to them, it’s normal. So, it’s entirely okay to say, “all right this has been great, see you later,” and then just walk away smiling."
Sometimes it's hard to get out of a conversation you never wanted to be in, and sometimes it's equally as hard to keep your temper in check.
However, if you remember some of these tips and tricks, you may be able to successfully get yourself out of an unpleasant or unceremoniously long conversation in the future!