People Share The Biggest Lies Their Parents Ever Told Them As Kids
Parents lie to their kids constantly - whether it's a purposefully malicious lie or "just messing around" it's a think that happens in almost every family.
Regular readers will know my family had me convinced that I was the "Moon Princess" until I was well older than I'd like to admit. They told me that the moon followed me around because it loved me, so I spent most of my childhood talking to the moon reassuringly, like it was my space-puppy.
I never stopped to think about perspective or celestial distance or the fact that it meant the moon followed everyone. My family never fessed up to the truth. It took a blindsiding realization in sixth grade to crush me and my poor moon-puppy.
I not-so-secretly still talk to the moon and I'm almost 40.
Reddit user lphillips5 asked:
What's something completely false that your parents told you as a child?
One Million Drops
My dad told me that the windshield wipers would count the raindrops on the windshield and when it reached 1 million then they would wipe the rain away. If it was raining harder they went faster because it reached 1 million faster.
The Truth Comes To Light
"TURN OFF THE LIGHTS IN THE BACK SEAT BEFORE WE GET PULLED OVER!"
Wait that's a lie?
My dad always told me this too! It wasn't until a few months ago that my sister and I found out this wasn't true.
My dad would always say this. Funny enough, now that I can drive I can see that I can't look out the rear view mirror properly with the light on, he could have just said that and young me would've went "Oh, ok".
Considering how annoying/difficult it is to drive with the interior lights on, I was surprised when I found out it wasn't outright illegal.
Having a light on means you can't see out your rear view mirror, and it can lessen visibility out your windows. It may not be specifically against the law. But it does fall under other laws like distracted/dangerous driving. I'm sick of how everyone just doesn't question the statement that it's not illegal.
That my mum, who worked in the chilled department of a supermarket, would have to milk the cows at the back of the shop and bottle the milk before taking it to the shop floor. There aren't even any fields at the back of the shop.
Save For Something Special
Birthday and Christmas were only a month apart so I would tend to get some money instead of presents from family and relatives around that time of year. My parents would always tell me I had to learn how to save my money, so I was never really allowed to use it, just save it for something "special".
Usually my money would go missing and I couldn't find where it was, only to find out my father, who smoked a pack a day, took it to buy cigarettes, or also would use it for drinking money. Frustrated by this, me and my brother asked our parents if we could get a bank account, so instead of leaving our money laying around, we would deposit it somewhere where it would be safe and would be able to be saved for a long period of time.
After saving after a year or two, we wanted to get either a new game console or game, and adding up what we knew we had, we determined that together we had enough. We go to the bank.
I had a balance of $0, my brother had a balance of $-10 (yes negative). Appears since parents signed us up for the account, and cause we were children, they had full access to our account. When we confronted our parents about it we got the whole, "You're the child, we're the adult" speech or, "You take money from us everyday just by raising you".
The only lesson we learned was if you save your money you will never get to use it. So we pretty much stopped saving our gift money and tried to spend it asap.
Oranges For Scurvy
I read Treasure Island and asked my older sister what scurvy was. She lied and said it's when pirates and sailors spend too long at sea with no women and become gay. I didn't question it because I was like 10 and apparently dumb.
Then we were watching a TV show about the colonies and how scurvy was rampant and killing people. I was really confused at how scurvy could kill and even more confused when my mom said oranges prevent scurvy.
Mom and I moved in with my (now) dad, I was around 4 years old. Christmas rolls around, he had this light up skeleton tree topper in lieu of an angel. He takes it out of the box, I asked why it was it was a skeleton. He got this horrified, shocked look on his face. "Oh no! We must have forgot to poke holes in the box last year!"
I thought my angel suffocated and we were putting her dead body on the Christmas tree. Cried for hours.
The Japanese Toys
Not a single, but a string of lies.
Lived with the family in Japan for a year at the end of the 80's. Time comes to go back to the home country, and the number of toys I amassed as a kid in Japan was not small. They were also very, very cool toys, them being from Japan and all.
Parents promise we will take them all with us home, all the while putting them in strange big black bags (for garbage?). But since air freight is so expensive, they said, we will simply put them on a ship in order to save some money. There will be home before I know it, they said, but only after we arrive, since ships are much slower than planes.
Got home, and could not stop asking them: when will the toys arrive‽ I want to share them with my new classmates, they were very cool! After a few months of constant nagging, they sit me down and say they have to tell me something.
Proceed to explain that, unfortunately, the ship sank on the way, along with all my toys on it. I was so miserable, and retold the story to all friends, for a couple of years.
Many years later, during a family dinner, I said: do you remember when all my toys from Japan sank? It was so sad and unfortunate! They explained it was a lie all along, and that, yes, those were indeed garbage bags.
When I was about 6 years old, my dad convinced me that turtles grow fur under their shells. Fast forward to the 8th grade, I'm in my U.S history class and the topic of turtles comes up, and I explain to my teacher that turtles have fur, he then proceeds to turn on the projector and Google "do turtles have fur" in front of the whole class. They don't... never been so embarrassed in my life. I told my dad this story a couple months ago (I'm 17 now), and he still laughs uncontrollably about it whenever I mention it.
God's Flash Photography
I was scared of lightning. Then my dad told me it's just God taking pictures of me, so don't be scared. So I used to run to a window whenever there's a thunderstorm and pose for my picture.
My mother had a few McDonald's sacks hidden since I was obsessed with them and never wanted to eat anything but McDonald's.
Every day, before my father would be back from work, she would put what she cooked into the sacks and would place it outside the door for my father to pick up. He would walk in the door pretending he brought McDonald's home. I was fooled every time, man. How would I know McDonalds had no soup?
Happy New Year
"HAPPY NEW YEAR ITS 12 WOW YOU STAYED UP"
It was 9. They pulled this every year until I was like... 12 ... They turned the clocks back and put on an east coast channel. No wonder I always watched the ball drop in NYC on TV... Whilst living on the west coast of Canada hmmm.
That there were crocodiles in the boarded over pond at the bottom of the garden, so I'd stay off the somewhat rotten planks that could break. Instead I ended up dropping all sorts of things in because I thought they might be hungry.
My mother had always told me that since I had asthma, smoking would kill me right away if I tried it. It did work, never smoked anything to this day.
Unrolling The Sidewalks
My great aunt's parents had her believing that sidewalks were only out during the daytime, and if you stayed up late enough or got up early enough you could see the workmen rolling or unrolling the sidewalks.
Crappy Sex Ed
So when I was like 5 I started getting horny sometimes and I was so confused I asked my mom why and she told me there was a mouse stuck in my vagina.
That bread crust could make you whistle. I was like heck, if carrots could help my eyes (they don't), and milk could help my bones, why couldn't bread crust help my whistling muscles? So I suffered through many a sandwich crust hoping to finally be able to whistle. It wasn't until junior year of high school as my mind was wondering on the bus did I sit up and have a holy crap my life is a lie moment.
Hate to make this depressing but my parents told me that it's normal for couples to fight (They fought regularly). I even stayed in a nasty relationship because I thought that it was normal to fight so often. I didn't realize that it was wrong til years later in high school. I was talking to my English teacher about some parental issues going on and on way or another I had mentioned what my parents told me. She then said, "So, they lied to you?", and the reality hit me. My parents divorced not to long after.
My parents told me that if I ate my boogers my penis would shrivel up and flake away.
That dogs are attracted to the headscarf, and automatically will chase you. I am big animal lover and my mom hated the fact I pet stray dogs. So for the majority of my childhood I thought dogs were Islamophobic.
People Break Down The Most NSFW Thing They've Ever Done That They Don't Regret
Some of us just love the more scandalous moments in life.
They can be too far and few in between.
But when they come around, they always provide a good story.
Who doesn't love great mic drop action?
There is such freedom in embracing the... "I did that. And what?!" mentality.
Try it sometime. Within reason, of course.
Redditor Eyeso-pain- wanted to discuss everyone's scandalous moments of pride without care, so they asked:
"Redditors, What’s the most nsfw thing that you have done and don’t regret?"
Just telling a cold, hard truth is my mic drop.
Let's ChatPay Me Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Talked with my coworkers about our salaries."
"In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it."
"This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died."
"I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock."
"I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight."
"She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married."
"Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was 'don't ever freaking do that again... but nice job.'"
Some outfits make magic.
I like Home DepotHeart Love GIF by Lowe's Home ImprovementGiphy
"Had sex on the dishwashers in receiving at Lowes, with my fling at the time. That fling and I have been happily married for 12 years."
"Went to a pro dominatrix. I apparently didn’t regret it since I’m seeing her tomorrow as well. Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected..."
It Was Fun
"Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama. One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in."
"I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us. It was fun and no one found us."
"When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off."
"Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again."
Plus 2Ariana Grande Singing GIF by The VoiceGiphy
"My fiancée cheated on me 2 weeks before the wedding. I shagged both of his brothers no regrets."
As savage as that move is... should y'all be married?
Do you have any stories to get off your chest? Let us know in the comments below.
People Describe The Creepiest Thing They've Ever Experienced That Chilled Them To The Bone
The older you get you realize... there are things that go bump in the night.
There can be danger around every corner.
And yes... somebody may actually be in the closet.
So being constantly creeped out is a norm.
Redditor unripenedboyparts wanted to hear about the horrors we've all been witness to, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest thing you’ve seen in the woods, or in the mountains, or in deserts, or caves, or in small towns, or in big cities, or in hotels, or in remote or rural areas, or while asleep, or home alone, or while on large bodies of water, or while on an aircraft or a nautical vessel?"
I don't camp.
I don't hike.
I don't do wilderness.
And this is why...
TexturesLife Smash GIFGiphy
"Coming out of anesthesia from open heart surgery, every time I closed my eyes I could see a perfectly formed brick wall inches from my face. I could see the texture of the bricks through the paint, the mortar, all in perfect detail. Every time I changed rooms, the wall would change colors."
"I was up north. Far North British Columbia, Canada working in a (oil) rig camp out in the woods. I was working as a cook, I went out one afternoon for a smoke on the back deck. It was about 2 o'clock n the afternoon. It was a very quiet, still winter day. It was snowing those kind of big snowflakes that make it look like the world is moving in slow motion."
"So as I was standing there smoking, just staring off in the distance not looking at anything particular... you know looking left right, up down at my feet whatever. I felt something looking at me. Then I looked straight ahead. About 30 feet or less in front of me was the tree line of the forest, and directly in front of me in-between two trees I see the most gigantic wolf I have ever seen."
"This thing sitting looked like it was the size of a man standing. It was massive, sitting there and just staring right at me. We locked eyes, then I looked away for a split second and then looked back and it was gone. I don't know, it just gave me the weirdest feeling. It was definitely like, "hey.. I see you, I could eat you... butttt I won't, k byeee"
"Something I'll always remember."
It’s absolutely unnerving...
"I live in a really remote part of Alaska. I think the scariest thing I’ve ever encountered is how silent the woods/tundra can be in the dead of winter. I’m talking like 'I feel like I am about to go insane' quiet. It’s absolutely unnerving. I become hyper aware of my heart beat and my breathing sounds like a f**king airplane taking off."
"And I know a lot of people will say 'it’s because a predator was near by' nah man, some places up here just have nothing. That’s what really freaks me out. I am absolutely alone in this one spot. I could drop dead and no one would ever find my body."
"I rounded a corner in a trail in the Appalachian Mountains and came face to face with a sow black bear and her cub. Same situation, we locked eyes, she seemed to convey - look dude, I can un alive you in a second, but I’m not about it today so just be patient while I dig these bugs outta this hillside. I sat and watched this bear and cub for prob 20 mins at a safe-ish distance."
Who Are You??Video Games Gamer GIF by Call of DutyGiphy
"There must be wilderness dwelling gamers out there, because I found a pile of xbox games in the mountains. Like two dozen in a pile in a remote location."
Those gamers are sneaky.
It FliesDavid Choe Love GIFGiphy
"Hallucinated a flying whale alongside the night time flight from Alberta to Ontario when I was 12. It was snow white, seemed friendly enough. Roughly the size of a blue whale."
Onto the Rocks
"It happened when me and my parents were on vacation to some place near Spain when I was still little. We went to a little beach at some coastal town where I then immediately jumped into the sea with my swimming goggles on. I then crawled on to some rocks and walked around until I noticed a crab sitting on the rocks."
"I then traversed them carefully while trying to catch it, but it kept crawling away. This continued until I then followed it to a point where the little bay I was in ended and the open ocean began. So then little me decided that it was a good idea to jump into the open water to see if there was anything cool down there. I then jumped in, and I was immediately hit with the cold temperature of actual ocean water."
"But the worst part was that even with my goggles on, I couldn't see anything down there. I was met with a giant black void. No fish, no plants, no rocks. Nothing. I then immediately turned around and began swimming back as quick as I could. And since that moment I haven't gone beyond the shallows ever again."
"This was almost a decade ago; I live in a town outside of Phoenix, AZ. It was late in the afternoon as the sun was starting to set. I went out in the backyard to smoke a cigarette and play fetch with my dog. As I was throwing the ball I noticed a small orb shoot from the ground directly into the sky."
"A few seconds later another one followed, and another, and another, and another. It didn’t stop for a few minutes. At first I thought it was a Roman candle but I just couldn’t hear but you’d normally hear them fizzing as the fly. I couldn’t hear anything. It was dead silent. To this day, I still don’t know what those were."
"When I was a kid in the early 80's my parents had a house they rented out to people. We were cleaning it out after a set of unsatisfactory tenants and I was going through the kitchen cupboards making sure they were empty. I saw a mason jar tucked way back in the corner of one of the top shelves so I hopped up on the counter, stretched my arm, grabbed it and hopped back down. When I looked at the jar I saw a finger floating in a clear liquid. I set it down on the counter, walked out of the kitchen and called, 'Mom, I found a finger!'"
Jigglesearthquake GIF by James CurranGiphy
"I was on a fishing boat just off the Pacific coast and there was an earthquake. The water jiggled a bit as we heard a boom and a quick shake. Only time I was on water during an earthquake."
This is why I don't fish. Not even on dry land.
Do you have any bizarre experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down The Worst Mistakes Someone Can Make In Their 20s
Once people graduate from high school, a lot of them know what they want to do career-wise, but they may not totally know where they want to go or who they want to be.
And while the twenties are the time to figure that out, there are some ways that people can really mess up their future if they aren't careful about how they spend their time.
Redditor KadduUltimate asked:
"What is the worst mistake one can make in their 20s?"
Know Your Worth
"28-year-old here. Best advice. Learn to actually enjoy your surroundings."
"But the absolute best advice I can give. You're an adult now. You are allowed to make boundaries and stick to them. Unhappy with something? Leave or fix it. I gave up way too much time feeding into useless issues."
"Oh, and smile more. People seem to like people that smile."
Think Through Parenthood First
"Having a kid."
"As someone who didn't have kids, and watching my peers growing up and the lives they lead and how hard they have it... wait forever. It's bliss. Plenty of money left over for savings, retirement, and vacations."
Learn How to Invest
"Not the worst mistake, but if you haven’t yet, open a ROTH IRA and start contributing… compound interest is a thing."
"Spend time with your parents while they and you are young! Don’t get so caught up in doing absolutely everything all the time that you forget the people who got you to that point. They, too, are racing time."
Watch Out for College Debt
"Do not incur a mortgage-size debt in college tuition."
"You might be forced to continue taking classes to keep from starting the payment clock., while you also incur more debt. Also, you can't use bankruptcy to remove it."
"Instead, learn a trade: bring trade schools back. learn more about who you are and what you are interested in before taking on another lifetime commitment thing the boomers screwed up for us because 'screw you, they got theirs.'"
Watch Out for ANY Debt
"Credit card debt. Took us forever to get everything square after many dumb decisions and opening of multiple cards in our twenties."
Expensive Items Don't Bring Happiness
"Signing a commitment for a high-priced place to live or car."
"Too many young kids believe they deserved fancy and nice, especially to impress others, and they end up scraping for dollars because of it."
Giving In to Societal Pressure
"Thinking they have to start their whole life and career and be a homeowning family by 30... or be viewed as lazy, or my personal favorite, as 'wasting their potential.'"
Love Doesn't Have to Be Rushed
"You and your partner are going to change so much between age 20 and age 40, neither of you will be the same people, and divorce is almost guaranteed."
"Wait until you're done with school and/or established in your careers."
"Brush your teeth guys! And floss! The money needed to fix teeth is staggering in most places. Not even just the US!"
"Brush and floss twice a day! You'll be so thankful you did!"
"Going to jail. Don't break the law, kids."
Life Continues After Your 20s
"Thinking you’re supposed to peak in your 20s creatively, emotionally, sexually, and professionally."
"My 30s were when I learned that my 20s didn’t define me. My 40s have been f**king incredible. Hang in there."
"Actively neglected my health in my 20s to maintain employment. Now my knees and elbows crack very loudly and it hurts when they do."
"Also, not all wounds are visible. I thought I was perfectly fine when I was 22. I thought everything was temporary. Holy f**k was I wrong."
Don't Forget 'Back to the Future' and 'The Terminator'
"If you're a kid, the time cops will let you off with a warning, but as soon as you're older, any fluctuation in the continuum gets you 8 cycles in the penumbra."
"In your 20s, you're just not going to have the intuition to avoid causing ripples. Just wait until you're 30 and your chrono-mentor approves you for your first jaunt."
It's Not an All-Or-Nothing Situation
" I think it’s important to remember that even if you screw up and make some bad choices in your 20s, you can still recover."
Just like how some people think that high school is the ultimate time of their lives, others feel this pressure for every important detail of their life to take place in their twenties.
But the twenties are just the years where people figure out who they are and set the stage for the rest of their lives. They should be lived responsibly and safely, but they don't have to be taken seriously all the time, either.
We get it, we're all super busy, and sometimes it's really hard to get all the chores done around work and living our lives.
But there are appliances we can have in our home, like a dishwasher, that can make those chores much more convenient.
However, they could really ruin our day, too, if we use them incorrectly.
Redditor Loud-Situation2643 asked:
"What should never go into the dishwasher?"
Can This Go Without Saying?
"The toilet brush! I read a story here about somebody that does that regularly."
"That’s disturbing. I had a landlord tell me to put my cat’s litter box in the dishwasher weekly to keep the cat smell down. I did not take her up on that advice."
"Your toilet brush. My friend found out the hard way her housemate was doing this WHILE DOING THE DISHES."
"Fish. I worked apartment maintenance and a lovely old couple ruined, like, three dishwashers in a row by using them to steam fish. Very gross, considering the pre-wash cycle uses the gray water from the last cycle."
"Smelled pretty bad, too."
"I'll admit, we run some knives through, but only the crummy ones. The good ones, NEVER, and ideally those are hand-washed right away after use and not left to sit with anything on them."
Cast Iron Accessories
"I found a La Creuset Dutch Oven on clearance sale at crate and barrel of all places. I immediately bought it. Still, a lot of money to spend, but it was the best purchase I ever made for my kitchen."
"I fully understand why people pass these down from generation to generation. It’s in amazing condition for the number of times I’ve used it. And it’s dishwasher safe!"
"I still hand wash mine, because it’s like a child to me, and I don’t trust my partner to handle it! I always said I’d be a chef if I didn’t love what I do right now. So the fancy kitchen stuff I have always gets hand washed."
"P.S. their website says it’s dishwasher safe, but they recommend a hand wash for longevity and because the enamel can eventually wear down in a dishwasher."
Also, Wooden Kitchen Accessories
"Wooden Cutting boards."
"This is one of my luxuries in life. Using a machine to wash your wooden spoons will shorten their life by a lot. Hand washed and well cared for a wooden spoon will last decades."
"A set of bamboo wooden spoons is like $12, so I buy a new set every year or two. $12 to not hand wash every night? Yes please."
Liquid Dish Soap. Enough Said.
"My daughter did this once, WOW, what a soapy disaster."
Also, Laundry Detergent
"When I first moved into my own apartment, my mom gave me a sandwich bag full of about a dozen detergent pods as a 'These will help you start off on your own' gesture."
"The first night of living in my own apartment, I fired up the dishwasher. 20 minutes later while playing video games, I noticed this wave of suds moving toward me from the kitchen. When I say a wave, I mean it. I have never seen so many d**n bubbles."
"That’s how I learned my wonderful mom gave me both dishwasher detergent pods AND laundry detergent pods in the same sandwich bag. I had a 50/50 odds and boy did I lose, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
"Needless to say, this happening on my first night living on my own had me questioning what I was doing, and if I would be better off living in my mom’s basement for the rest of eternity."
We Need a Storytime for This One
"The part of the blender that says, 'Do Not Immerse.'"
Protect the Detailed Glassware at All Costs
"All my PRETENTIOUS fancy brewery glasses. Those designs are staying where they are."
"I put a printed shot glass into the dishwasher that was part of a set. It came out clean all right, picture completely dissolved."
That Would Be Terrible
"Your secret cash stash."
Ew ew ew.
"Mashed potato residue. Oh my god, it gets on EVERYTHING. Especially if the chunks are too large to fit through the filter. It just sits in the water and coats everything."
For the 'Friends' Fans Out There
"Paper, snow… A ghost!"
"I found out recently, you aren't supposed to put your girlfriend's collectible Starbucks cups in there."
Reddit's Got Jokes
"As a new father, I wish you'd told me earlier."
And Feathered Jokes
"Who are you that you are so wise in the ways of science?"
While dishwashers were invented to make our lives a little bit easier when it's time to wash the dishes, there are some items that, when placed in there, could really ruin someone's day.