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People Share Their Biggest Online Dating Fails

Well this isn't a happily ever after....

People Share Their Biggest Online Dating Fails
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Love... will make you want to forget love. Searching for love is one of the most exasperating "adventures" life has to offer. Half the time, the journey for love... will fail you. It's part of the gamble. If you're searching online, it makes it that much more nerve wracking. The crazies are running amuk out there. Sometimes the bumble isn't worth the buzz.

Redditor u/dannyboy8323 wanted everyone to band together and share some love stories gone awry by asking...

What's your biggest fail when it comes to online dating?

The Cues...

"Not realizing how much can be lost in the absence of voice inflection and physical social queues."ealoft

"This is what so many people can't seem to grasp when I explain to them I don't do online dating. If they've never experienced what it's like to have this happen they just can't understand it no matter how much I try to explain it. And, to me, it's a huge part of my attraction (or lack of) to a person."

"Edit: it's not like I don't date or have issues getting dates, I just don't do online. I still meet people in real life, I just don't like online and feel my real life connections tend to work out better for me."seh_23

 I still cringe.....

"Oh man, the first time I contacted someone (it was via The Onion personals, which were really a thing in 2005), I just made fun of a band she said she liked. I wrote something like, "My only problem is that you are into (band)" She replied (as she should have), "My only problem is that the only thing you offer is a criticism". I still cringe."dinnersateight

Poof. Gone.

Giphy

"Getting hundreds of matches on tinder but not going on a single date with someone I initially met from the app."

"Edit: I am a male. I've set up many dates, but get ghosted the day of."alaf44

but good lord was I a naive fool....

"Matched with someone on a dating website (before Tinder). Got to talking, seemed like a chill dude, even though there were red flags (he insisted we were dating before we met and I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone). Agreed to meet up with him at a cafe by work. Organized with my receptionist she would ring me at an allotted time and tell me I had to come back to work, so I had an out. Met with the guy for coffee, it seemed well enough, then my girl rang me, so I told him I had to get back. His response was "I've got my work van here, do you want to jump in the back and have a quickie?" I noped out of there and went back to work."

"A couple of months later he ended up coming into my work to see my boss. I made polite small talk with him then when he left my boss called me into her office to ask how I knew him. Turned out he was married to my bosses niece and I dodged a bullet."

"Update: sorry to leave you all hanging. Boss believed me, and we never spoke of it again. I was too embarrassed to raise the subject again because I keep my private life private, and her because i assume she kept that crap between her and her niece. My boss was also a black belt in jujitsu so not the person to mess with."

"Yes, i should have known better when he got possessive straight out the gate, but I was young, insecure, and lonely. It's not a crime to want to be wanted, but good lord was I a naive fool."Fen_Misting

Googled.

"Dated a guy who was in a Poli-sci PhD program (confirmed) who had a law degree (confirmed) but had "left practice because he didn't enjoy it." Nope. Had been arrested for a federal hate crime as a neo-Nazi and was ineligible to practice. Thank god for google."doctaliz

Sounds Off.

Giphy

"When I connected Spotify my bumble profile and unbeknownst to me, 3 of my top 10 artists were the wiggles, hi-5 and blippi. Pretty sure I missed a few connections because of that!"kwisssy

What's Your Password?

"Not trying it sooner. At the end of the day, we're all just people looking to connect and share a Netflix account."toaster_jack

"Same! Spent 9 years trying to find a girl going to parties & the club. Turns out I'm fairly crap at that which probably wasn't all that good for my self-esteem either."

"A female friend then thought it would be fun to create a tinder profile & swipe for me during a party. Spend the next few days being mind blown at getting matches, sucking at texting, progressively getting better at it. A few months later going on a ton of dates, getting better at that as well, and finally finding my current girlfriend of soon 2 years. Developed more at flirting & understanding dating in those 6 months than from birth up until that point."Sairony

Rotten Fish.

Giphy

"Using Plenty Of Fish, the free dating site. It was like the Netto of dating sites. I chatted briefly with one woman before telling her I was going out for a few drinks."

"Next day I checked my messages and she had sent some. It started with "why don't you come round to mine and get drunk together", progressing to "why are you ignoring me", then to "I think you're gorgeous and we will be good together" and finally "don't you ignore me".

"I sent her a message the next day to never contact me again."zetecvan

Match to browse.

"I used the free version of Match to browse, then decided to sign up. Quickly realized it didn't have anything to offer me, so I cancelled and got a refund. I then had 20 different emails about different women interested in me. Way too coincidental."cowbellhero81

3 Days In. 

"I once told a guy (via text) I had to go because my lunch break was over. When my shift ended there were tons of angry messages from him asking where I was and why I left so suddenly. I told him it was because my break was over and I can't text when I am at work. He then started apologizing to me and told me he was afraid he had lost me and that I hated him. We had "known" each other for 3 days and we had never met in real life."AtWarWithEurasia

She was way hotter than me.

Giphy

"I met with this very attractive woman off Upper middle class tinder (Bumble)."

"She was way hotter than me."

"At some point during the evening, she leans forward on her bar stool, narrows her eyes and goes "I know there was some reason I swiped right on you".

"Because at this point she could not remember 😂."ThatsASaabStory

crap happens mate....

"Met with a girl at a bar in Philadelphia on a Friday night around 6PM. It was fun and we drank a lot, but I noticed that she was pacing MUCH faster than me. I had around 4 beers in the time it too her to drink 7 martinis ($15 a glass). We are getting along well and she says that she needs to use the rest room. She took her jacket and purse to the restroom. I didn't think much of it but after an hour of sitting at the bar alone waiting I realized that I got used for a heavy pregame."

"The bartender kinda realized it. When I asked for the tab he shrugged and was like "crap happens mate. I took two drinks off your tab." djm2491

Since I'm a weirdo.....

"I had about given up on dating in general after I broke up with another loser I had met on there. But I decided to revamp my profile a little and put exactly what I was looking for. I.e. looks don't matter, but you have to have a job, and not live on your mom's couch at 33, and have some goals regardless of how big or small they are, etc. I included that I am a professional with my own place, car, full time job, and college degree and though education isn't a deal breaker I just want someone I can have a conversation with. It was pretty straightforward."

"I included that I like fun stuff too, because I am not a very serious person I just was tired of getting involved with losers. I went from getting several messages a day from guys to maybe a message a week."

"Since I'm a weirdo, I made a second profile. I had zero pics of my face, and only partial body pics. I had pics of me with boxes on my head, wearing weird masks, etc. I put how I only read the necronomicon and I have antlers, and I glow in the dark or some weird shit. I got a crap ton of messages to that profile."

"One of them ended up being my current partner of 6 years. Lol... once I sent him an actual pic of me he said he recognized me from my other profile. I asked later why he didn't message me on that one and he said I seemed scary or something."

"Now I know that asking for a guy with goals is scarier than potentially being an antlered necromancer."jahlove24

Mix It Up. 

"Putting all my eggs in one basket. Once I start a conversation with one person, I just stick with that person until I know it's not going to go anywhere. I can't deal with trying to remember stuff about two+ people at the same time. I don't mind though if the person I'm talking to is talking to more than one person as long as if we're on a date, they're not on the phone to them or mix us up."hotchocolatelover

So Vain....

Giphy

"Agreeing to meet someone with a topless profile pic. My God he was vain."Sinnes-loeschen

From the Bots. 

"I matched a girl who looked really cool and complimented her hair. She responded with something along the lines of "I'm so glad you messaged me, most of these guys just match and never message." I've seen almost exactly the same line before from bots, so I assumed she was a bot and said something snarky about it."

"She replied, upset, and then unmatched me."D_Thought

Be Wittier....

"Not being exciting or witty enough in the text game. In real life my expressions and demeanor save me, not so much online."brucekeller

"I'm the opposite, I'm so smooth over text but super awkward in person. My texting personality and in person self are basically two different personas, which is probably off putting."Lightning_Larry_

Freak On. 

"She was being flirty but I just kept asking "how's your day going" "what are you up to" and other generic questions until she stopped and never messaged me back."hayisforhorses101

Close Encounters....

"Chatted with them a year by phone, once we met we had nothing to talk about and it was the most awkward encounter of my life."MattSouth

"Sometimes chemistry fails to translate to IRL. If it was a good fit, you would still have had topics of conversation."greywolfau

Her What?

Giphy

"Her husband."

"You have no idea how many neglected wives are out there online and they love to omit the fact that they have husbands. Watch out for the milfs. She'll break your heart and her husband will break your neck." syringelol

On second thought, we'll stay single.

Do you have similar stories to share? Let us know below.

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.