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People Share The Best Ways To Gently Reject Someone

People Share The Best Ways To Gently Reject Someone
Photo by Alessandro De Bellis on Unsplash

Not everybody is your cup of tea. If you've lived in the world, you likely know this. You'll meet at least one person a day that you know you are unlikely to ever want to spend time with in real life.

Unfortunately not everybody that you're going to encounter is going to be on the same wavelength about you as you are about them. And you will have to set your boundaries and learn how to do that while being kind.


Redditor yakunii-kun asked:

How do you kindly reject someone without making them hate you?

Here were some of those answers.

Rejection Can Be Sour

"Don't be rude and be honest, if they hate you for that, that is all coming from them and not you."

"That said, feeling rejected can sour an existing good relationship. It can be hard for people to accept that a certain balance in the relationship is now gone, probably because it is."

"In those cases, you just have to take it on the chin and move on. Sometimes some time apart can really make a big difference and you can pick up again later."-zazzlekdazzle

Simple And Short

"Just 'No, I'm not interested in you like that.' 'I'm flattered, but no thank you.' Or just no."

"No skirting around it, no letting them down 'easy..' just no. Don't give them any chance to twist it into a slim chance instead of zero! People can do so many logic loop-de-loops in their head it's crazy. Especially with their ego attached to it."

"If they don't take that no for an answer, trust me and don't 'stay friends.' They will keep it up! Plus it's not respectful. Nobody that truly cares about you would hate you over not wanting to date them."-ilikedit227

Be Really Truthful

"Wow lots of people giving bad advice. Don't tell them something like 'I don't want to be in a relationship' unless you actually mean that."

"Because when you DO decide to start dating someone they will resent you both for leaving open a possibility and for effectively lying."

"I've been on that end of things and it hurts a lot more when you hear that and a week later they start dating someone else. It's way better just to say you like someone as a friend but you just don't have any romantic attraction to them. Be unequivocal."-Altiloquent

The piece here that is the hardest is kindly rejecting someone, and the ability to keep composure.

Directness Does Favors

"Being kind and direct, but also respecting the person enough to have a chat about it, regardless of whether you intend on continuing the relationship or not."

"There was a girl who I was head over heels in love with when I was 20, and she took time off her day to sit down with me and hear me out and then share her view."

"Of course, I was a wreck for a long time as I really wanted to be with her, but when I think back to it now, I only feel gratitude for her, for doing the right thing and doing it with such grace and sensitivity."

"It really impacts your life after the act, and I have great respect for anyone who acts from this understanding."-greginthesummer

Controlling Is Impossible

"You can't. Either they're the type who will hate you or they aren't and nothing you can do can change how they'll respond. This has a lot to do with why people cheat in some cases."

"People say 'just break up with them before seeing someone else' like that will make a difference, but some people are never going to accept an ending to a relationship and you'll usually know if you're dating that type."

"If telling a person that you want to end the relationship will get them to act like you cheated on them, what's the point? You'll never convince them you weren't being unfaithful even if you have proof that you never saw the next person you dated until after the first relationship was over."-MarkHirsbrunner

It Always Goes Different

"Lol, in my experience, this varies from person to person. I used the same line on two guys (I really like you and I definitely see us as friends if that's something you'd want, but I don't have romantic feelings for you)."

"One of them yelled at me and said I didn't know what I was talking about and that I had been leading him on. The other one was like 'Okay, that's fair. I really like you though and I could always use more friends.'"

"I was invited to his wedding a couple years later. I think that as long as you're kind about it there is a limit to how much you can influence how other people react."

"Because they're hearing the message with the filter of all of their combined life experiences, and that's not always something we can account for unless we know them extremely well."-quirkyhermit

It Really Is Case By Case

"If you're kind, that's enough. If they still hate you, not your fault. That side of the equation is beyond your control, and they may or may not be reacting to you, so much as they are to their own inner… whatever."

"Chalk it up to their own projections, self-delusions, obsession with whatever they thought would happen."

"You never can tell with some people."-OCYRThisMeansWar

The truth is, rejection never feels good. But the betrayal of rejection after a long time--that's much, much worse.

A Reason For The Season

"Never rejected anyone but I've been rejected a few times and I'm just gonna say that it hurts a lot less when we're given a reason."

"It doesn't need to be good and it could be complete bullsh*t but it's better than nothing because then we're just stuck trying to figure out what we did wrong."-anonymous32434

The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

The world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...

Make Sure They Are Worthy, But Clear

"Yeah I think this will have the opposite effect. You need to be straight with people while still remaining kind and gentle."

"Telling them they are special to you and how lucky you would be to have those feelings for them will likely lead to them working extra hard to win you over."

"You gotta spell it out directly. 'You are a wonderful person and a good friend but unfortunately I don't have romantic feelings for you,' something like that."-smorkoid

Everyone agrees-kindness comes from direct communication with gentle, soft edges.

It's impossible to keep everybody fully happy and spare everybody's feelings, but as long as you are clear on your own intentions, other people will trust them, too.

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Historically Inaccurate Movies That Everyone Gives A Pass

Reddit user Agreeable-Beach-3009 asked: 'What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?'

Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.

As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.

After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?

When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.

Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.

However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.

Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:

"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"

You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?

"'Anastasia'."

"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"

"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft

"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...

"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117

First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...

"Gladiator."- chewie8291

"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."

"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808

Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Those Costumes Though!

"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers

"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex

Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...

"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin

"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."

"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog

It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...

"History of the world part I."- whopper68

"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"

"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42

Giphy

Good Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...

"Tombstone."

"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"

"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388

"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20

For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...

"Balto?"- rmr236

"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."

"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10

sad shame GIFGiphy

There Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...

"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus

He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23

"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness

Stretching It...

"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc

"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life

heath ledger love GIFGiphy

Some Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...

"'Gangs of New York'."

"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."

"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles

Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...

"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai

"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."

"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill

More Memorable Than The Truth?

"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."

"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."

"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."

"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated

Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.

As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.

If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.


Legs of a Military recruit next to their personal belongings and American flag
Benjamin Faust/Unsplash

Mischievous military recruits in the process of basic training may not always be seriously punished unless they commit a serious crime like stealing.

Instructors punish those in training with an assortment of disciplinary tactics, which can include yelling and "getting dropped"–or being ordered to do push-ups.

Some instructors, however, like to get creative.

Curious to hear about some unique forms of military punishment, Redditor Defiant_Concert_9542t_9542 asked:

"What's the most hilarious punishment you've ever heard of someone receiving in the military, and how did they end up in that absurd situation?"

These recruits were made to be the laughing stock.

"Forgetting The Hat"

"A couple of guys hated wearing their cover (hat), so they kept 'forgetting' to put it on when going outside."

"Sgt made them each 'wear' the other guy's hand as cover for a few days. They looked so ridiculous/miserable walking around holding another man's bald head."

– Scaphismus

Bad Hat

"Had a guy forget to put on his hat when coming outside during basic training. Instructor told him that it wasn't his fault but that it was the hats fault. He made the guy spank the hat and yell 'Bad Hat' over and over. After that he said even though the hat was bad he still needed to let the hat know that he loved him. He then made him caress the hat and tell him that he loves him."

– Kmo78

Importance Of Being On Time

"So this guy was constantly late to everything. Never out of bed on time, never in formation when he was supposed to be, etc."

"The Sargents pulled a clock off the wall, attached a bike chain to it, and make it look like a big a** necklace. (If you were a rap fan back in the day you may know where this is going)"

"They made the dude wear it like a Flava Flav clock chain. They would constantly scream at him 'Flava Flav what time is it?!?'"

"He learned to be on time real quick."

– LeluWater

Things get more creative.

Perfect For The Gullible

"We would tell every new person in our squadron that they had to set up an appointment with 'Captain Dees.' We'd give the person the local number of the Captain D's restaurant. They'd call the number and ask to speak with Captain Dees. It was hilarious every time."

– Kmo78

Ladybug Story

"I once had a ladybug land on my desk during morning inspection. When staff found it. I had to write a 500 word biography of who the bug was etc. and then had to make sure he was there for the rest of the week in good health for every morning inspection that week. Lol"

– withoutwarningwood

How Touching

"Newly promoted to Sergeant me and my buddy got the task of pre barracks inspection prior to our new CSM barracks inspection which was to be after our 1SG barracks inspection. Ya... anyway, the new CSM wanted troops to actually have their rooms decorated and lived in looking which whatever right? So everything is going fine we're still in good with the E4 Mafia so we're given heads up on whose rooms actually need inspected and which we could just skip cause they were squared away. Last room of the evening and it's bare as a prison cell. Troop was using his woobie (poncho liner) as a blanket, no pillows and literally nothing in this room that wasn't issued not a thing in his fridge etc. Come to find out he has been sending all like seriously ALL his money home to his mom to help raise his 4 siblings. Me and the other Sergeant ordered him to come with us to the PX, we got on the horn to our 1SG explained the situation and he met us at the PX with our entire upper NCO chain and the Commander. We forced this kid to buy over 1000 dollars of items/food/tv/etc for his room and all the money was donated by the NCO chain and the Commander. That was a great leadership was very sad to leave that unit. Sorry long winded lol"

– geriatric-sanatore

Free Concert

"We had a guy who could just not get his sh*t together. We all know that troop. Even the easy things were hard, etc etc."

"The cadre found out he was a former opera singer and also fluent in German. So they made him write and sing opera songs about his f**k ups. This was the only thing he was good at."

"Now here’s where this gets hilarious, beyond one dude singing self-deprecating songs in a marching formation. The cadre would bark 'German style!' and he’d seamlessly switch his lyrics to German. They’d yell 'underwater style!' and he’d take his index finger and flip it up and down on his lips as he sang, making the song sound bubbly."

"Not only could the cadre not hold it together, the guys in his company would absolutely lose it. Complete breakdown in military bearing, and no one cared. Other cadre and instructors would come just to listen and they would be in tears laughing."

"I don’t know where you are now homeboy, but thanks for the laughs."

– vmikey

Environmentally Conscious

"Having to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he was wasting."

– International_Set522

"I remember one of the others on my intake being sent over to the nearest tree to deeply apologise for wasting the good oxygen this tree produced and explain to said tree why he was such an utter t*t...."

– The_Burning_Wizard

Lesson to be learned: don't lose or forget things that are essential.

What's The Big ID-a?

"Guy kept losing his ID/leaving it sitting in the computer. Chief 'borrowed' it, took it to one of those one hour print job places, had it blown up to like 3 feet across, cut the picture out, and made the idiot walk around all day holding his enormous ID up with his face in the cut out hole. He stopped misplacing his ID after that."

– HakunaYouTaTas

Don't Lose The Rock

"We had a tradition when you were new to the unit and went on our first summer exercise (National Guard) that you would need to carry a rock around with you. It was an inspectable item so it needed to be with you at all times. You were not to let anyone else have this rock. The trick was if you lost the rock, you'd get another rock chosen by the platoon sergeant."

"One guy had a hard time with the 'Don't give this to anyone else' and kept losing his rock. After the 4th or 5th time, the platoon sergeant gave him what I can only describe as a small Boulder. This kid had to lug that rock around for the next week but he made damn sure not to lose it."

– Lawson470189

The Long Road March

"1995 - At mile 4 of an 12 mile hump (quick water break), my assistant gunner forgot the tripod for the M60. The platoon sergeant made him hug and apologize to every tree along his side of the road for wasting oxygen for the rest of the road march. 8 miles of this and no one could go past him. A road march that should've taken three hours ended up taking 12. There's a lot of trees at Ft. Campbell"

– MrL1970

The road from being a recruit to soldier is a tough but rewarding one in the end.

While some of the punishments and actual training tactics seem insurmountable, they build character, better physical endurance, and resilience.

It may be grueling, but it's all part of the military world.

Are you up for the challenge?

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