People Share Their Best Responses To The Dreaded "When Are You Having Kids" Question
"Practice makes pregnant."

It's a lovely night out with you and your significant other. You're attending a family party, or perhaps a friend's birthday celebration, and the everything is going swimmingly. Suddenly, a cold chill runs through the air, zapping every hair on your neck. You feel it coming towards you. Your overachieving friend Margie just needs to know when her 5 kids can have their next playdate friend. They come over and ask that question no one wants to hear. "Sooooo, when are you guys having kids!?"
What do you even say to that?
Reddit user, u/JessaBlanka, wanted to know the best answers ever given, in an attempt to help out childless couples, when they asked:
What is your best response to "when are you having kids" questions?
Let Them Know It's Not Always A Successful Process
It used to be
"When I stop having miscarriages"
Yeah its awkward, rude and impersonal, because your QUESTION was awkward, rude and too personal.
My husband's uncle asked and I told him flatly that we'd been trying for a while. He replied. "Too much information!!" I'm still pissed about it.
Let Them Know About Your Equipment
"I'm sterile."
They even have the gall to look shocked I'd say something so personal and blunt. Like yeah, ya a-hole, that's how I felt when you asked me about my ability to have kids.
Gonna use this on m to GF's mom next time she asks.
Let Them Know There's No More Bullets In The Chamber
My husband had a vasectomy, so probably not til my next marriage.
Let Them Know Where Your Real Interests Are
"Actually," gazes adoringly at spouse, "we're planning on adopting a highway."
Let Them Know About The Hard Hours Put In
"Still practicing."
Practice makes pregnant.
Let Them Know To Look To The Seas
"When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves."
God: Hey, you know what would be fun? Just as a little experiment?
Angel: Oh no
God: does exactly this
You: ...f-ck
Let Them Know What It'll Cost You
"When we get sick of having all this money and freedom"
This is the best one
Stealing this one.
Let Them Know The Delivery Policy
"I don't know. They should have been here by now, I ordered them like an hour ago and I'm starving. I'll call the restaurant."
That was almost a dad joke. You're a father in the making whether you like it or not.
Let Them Know That YOU Know
When are you going to tell your husband about your side piece?
That was my response. I don't have much of a filter for invasive stuff.
I knew about her cheating on her husband with someone. She didn't know that I knew. Shut that sh-t down fast. Also, she was a nosey a-- co-worker that ended up getting fired shortly later.
Did the husband ever find out?
I'm assuming so. She was the kind of person that had some sort of personal tragedy going on all of the time. Usually it was self-inflicted. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't already expect it.
Let Them Know What's What
I make solid eye contact and say "You know I can't have kids. Thanks for reminding me."
Then I enjoy the silence.
I have some reproductive issues that will make having a baby really horrible and I just don't want to go through it. Neither does my husband. We plan to adopt when he's done with law school. But that's OUR business and the question is rude as f-ck, so I make it as uncomfortable as I can.
I'm in the same situation. I end with a "seems like it's just not in the cards for us" with a shrug. When they inevitably bring up adoption, I let them know that it costs about $30,000, which my husband and I don't have.
Let Them Know That It'll Cost THEM
"Are you going to pay for them?"
This would backfire as my mom would immediately say yes.
Let Them Know You're Missing Essential Personnel
We keep trying but it hasn't happened yet! We're both men, and it got my mom to stop asking.
Let Them Regret Asking
I say, "well we're going to try tonight if you want to come watch. 7 work for you??"
Let Them Know There's A Schedule
"As soon as people stop asking. Every question adds 6 months to the clock."
Oh you're mean, I only add one month every time my mother asks me! Mind you, we are now aiming for 2063 based on how often this comes up.
Let Them Know They're Being Hurtful
I want to say something like "Who knows? Maybe if the expensive infertility treatments we've been going through work before we give up trying. Thank you for inquiring." However, I usually just say "Maybe someday" and leave it at that. I'm too sensitive (and a bit heartbroken) at this point to try to educate people that this is a very inappropriate and sometimes painful question to ask. You never know who is struggling.
Let Them Know They've Gone Too Far
"I'll have kids once I find a suitable partner and am financially stable. The more interesting question is when are you going to stop being nosy, Karen?"
Let Them Know One Is Enough
*Points to husband* "When that one grows up."
Works well when it was his parents asking...
Let Them Know The Brutal Truth
This is one of my favorite stories and one of my most cringe-worthy.
I have several family members who are religious in some fashion. I happened to be standing in a kitchen with my religious mother, my religious grandmother, and my aunt, who happened to be 7 months pregnant with her first.
My grandma was asking about my then boyfriend, with whom I had been dating for over 2 years. The usual questions popped up, like living together, marriage, etc. I am not monogamous, and was not going to tell them I didn't have plans on getting married, but was trying to just be polite about things and only give half answers.
Then the question of children comes up. I am staunchly against having any. I don't want and now am unable to have biological children. But I just say I'm not interested in having them and try to change the subject politely.
My mother sweetly goes, "well, kids just have a way of happening."
I reply, "and so do abortions."
My mother hasn't asked me since. And the subject changed after a deafening silence.
Let Them Know You're Practicing
My mom asked me that at a family gathering in front of my my aunt. I said "We're trying, every day. Sometimes twice a day." She never asked me again
Let Them Know You're More Interested In Decor
A couple of Christmases ago I was sitting on a papasan chair at a family gathering and one of the little ones was sitting on my lap. One of the SO's relatives points out that I look really comfortable, and are we thinking about having one.
SO says "Yeah, she loves those chairs, it'll look good in the living room." Have not been asked about kids from that branch of the family since.
H/T: Reddit
We all indulge in fast food from time to time.
Even if we know what we're eating isn't exactly healthy, sometimes the salty, fatty mass-produced food is the only thing we want.
Resulting in our making weekly, if not daily, visits to a nearby chain.
Then, of course, there are the chains that we make every effort to avoid.
We've likely tried places at least once simply because everyone is always talking about them.
But after having one bite, we have trouble seeing exactly what all the fuss was about and vow to never return.
Even if it might be the only option at a rest stop or even the only available food for miles, we instead opt to wait and be hungry.
Redditor BungOnMimosas was curious to hear what people considered to be the most overhyped fast food chains around, leading them to ask:
"What do you think are the most overrated fast-food chains? Why?"
"Food As It Should Be"... Or Not...
"I know it's not technically 'fast food', but Panera Bread pisses me off."
"Insanely expensive for extremely average food." - Reddit
"Panera."
"Their quality has decreased so much in the past few years and they’ve added weird sh*t to their menu like pizza and chicken sandwiches."
"Massive identity crisis and crap food."- asm233
Things Ain't What They Used To Be...
"All of them, now that they charge real restaurant prices."- P00pf4rt5
Golden Arches
"As much as I hate to say it, McDonald's is the only place that I can think of that the quality hasn't changed much."
"I mean, that's a pretty low bar, but it is what it is."- gnatman66
"The majority of them, especially the really big ones (McDonald's, Wendy's, BK, Pizza Hut, etc)."
"The prices are no longer fast food prices and the quality is not there like it used to be."
"Far better local options that cost roughly the same at the end of the day."- senorita_diablo
Consistency Is Key...
"Dunkin."
"You can go to the same location three separate times, have the food made by the same staff, and receive 3 wildly different results."- AndrewLampart
Not So Popular Anywhere, It seems...
"KFC in France became so bad."- SterBout
Likely Won't Go National...
"Idk how wide spread they are, but in the Buffalo NY area there is a chain called Mighty Taco."
"They were even voted best tacos a few years ago."
"It is absolutely terrible food."
"I’ve tried to like it and given them 3 chances."
"Each time I couldn’t eat more than a couple bites."
"Absolutely terrible and I’m disgusted even thinking about their sour vomit in a tortilla."- aa-2020
"Eat Fresh"...
"I think I’ve answered this question before but definitely for me, it’s Subway."
"Nothing but a giant hunk of bread."
"I’m editing this to add that part of my anger about Subway is how good it used to be."
"I can remember the days of nearly a whole can of tuna salad delicious sub."
"And a Veggie sub with Swiss cheese and piles of yummy veggies and the sweet Vidalia onion sauce."
"It’s all gone to sh*t."
"I would’ve been perfectly OK with increasing price but the big drop in quality pissed me off."
"Oh woe is me with my first world problems."- Mysterious-Region640
Quantity Doesn't Guarantee Quality...
"Starbucks is a scam."- cmkeller62
Tasty, But Not Worth It...
"I’m going to say Five Guys."
"Not because the food isn’t good, but because I’m not paying $20 for a burger meal."- 2PacTookMyLunchMoney
"Dairy queen grill and Chill for sure."
"I worked at one for a lil' while and 1 burger combo is $14.56 CAD."- lolidk13
And Not In A Good Way...
Big Kahuna Burger, it kills you."-Darklock2022
No two people have the same taste in food.
Some people know to avoid crappy food, while others eat literally nothing else.
People Break Down Which Movies They Wish They Could Watch Again For The First Time
There are several movies I've watched so many times I think the viewings outnumber the days I've lived.
And much like a favorite tv series or movie, who wouldn't love to start again anew?
Experiencing that first time but with that feeling of... "I'm gonna love this forever."
We never appreciate the first time enough.
But that's life.
Warning: there are spoilers below.
Redditor Jacale1 wanted to discuss all the movies we wish we could experience new all over again, so they asked:
"What is one movie that you wish you could watch again for the first time?"
There are a lot of mystery movies I'd love to redo, just to figure out the killer sooner.
Gasps!
"The Shawshank Redemption."
MisOlga26
"A great nominee. Will never forget gasping when that rock went through the poster, and again when the warden pushed his arm through and ripped it down.... wow."
GalavantingRhino
Over and Over
"Edge of Tomorrow."
jeanrbel
"Is it bad that I got enjoyment knowing Tom Cruise died a lot in that movie. Never on screen, but it happened. Over and over. I hate that guy. How the hell was he the same height as Nichole Kidman in the movies they acted in together. Rhetorical question."
monrovista
"Honestly the whole reason I watched the movie to begin with is that he kept dying over and over."
AutomaticMethod2437
Swooned Away
“'Stardust'- if you don’t know you’ll never know."
jthekoker
"I’m surprised that a fantasy romcom can be so enjoyable, for a straight guy. It’s just the right balance between fantasy, comedy, drama, and romance. Most of the female cast are very easy on the eyes too."
"I swooned when Yvaine glows while dancing on the ship, and when she talks emphatically to the mouse in the caravan. This movie has a lot of A listers, and they deliver. I’m not gonna lie, I have probably watched it half a dozen times."
Redcarborundum
"The book has so much more in it, even having seen the movie you'll feel like a child again."
Beowulf33232
Hail Sigourney
"Alien."
NearDeafExperience
"I watched this with my wife, who has never seen it, and that's about as close as you can get to watching it for the first time. It really displayed just how good the movie is. Also I love Aliens just as much for different reasons."
QueafyGreens
"Came here looking for this! I watched it for the first time with my dad when I was 11, and it’s one of my favorite childhood memories. Amazing movie."
_shes_a_jar
Hey Arnold
"Terminator 2."
lobotomek
"I first watched this as a kid when I knew Arnold was the good guy in movies, and I had not seen T1. I wish I watched T2 for the first time after having watched T1. The mall scene would have been even more mind blowing."
Volvulus
T2 was definitely bada**!! I'd redo that.
Brilliant
"The Departed."
Lineworker2448
"Bro, I'll go further. If I could watch the Nicholson covered in blood scene or the final scene between Damon and Wahlberg, I would be so freaking happy. The sheer acting clout on display for the first is near a masterclass while the last scene was just so business like, I'd love to relive that scene with fresh eyes. I love this freaking movie."
DaBearsMan_72
Originality
"The original Star Wars. Man, that blew our minds! It totally changed movies from then on. We'd never seen such incredible special effects. The story was so fun and the experience was amazing."
Raggmommy
"Even though I’m not a franchise fan, I can get behind this answer. Because when I saw it first run, I was fourteen, and nothing like it had ever been done. I think it was the first movie where the special effects were the movie? Now that’s standard. It’s a reason people see many films now."
"So, for sheer originality, I’d watch it again, but only for the first time. I barely recall the second movie."
Alexbmac
SURPRISE!!
"The 6th Sense. I audibly gasped in the theater. All the clues are obvious on rewatch but that first time, before anyone knew M. Knight Shyamalan was a twist guy... wow."
GalavantingRhino
"I never got to see it the first time. My girlfriend at the time (now wife) inadvertently let slip the ending thinking I had already seen it. I have never seen the point in watching it knowing the ending. But I did enjoy The Village."
failurebeatssuccess
"I watched it again and it was more of a sad film than a thriller."
anotherbarry
Just Beautiful!
"Spirited Away. I was blown away by how beautiful and bonkers it is."
Lizziebunnypie
"Saaaaame! Every single Studio Ghibli film, but Spirited Away especially! I’ve still watched it a million times though, and it’s always special. If I’m in a bad mood that film always cheers me up!"
"Also, Avatar-the last air bender. I know it’s not a movie, but I felt like it deserved a mention. I’ve watched the whole thing several times, and it’s always great, but I do wish I could forget it and rewatch it. I’m 35 btw... lol."
Mimi_315
Great Scott!
"Back to the Future."
dwkindig
"I'd love to watch that in the cinemas... Now from the future."
billieboop
Now I want to go to the movies.
There is no one way to anybody's heart or libido.
Sexy doesn't always have to equal raunchy.
I've known people turned on by music, books, nature, and even funerals (don't ask).
What starts someone's engine is a mystery.
Redditor asexyjohn18 wanted to hear about all the things that get people in the mood, so they asked:
"What is a non sexual trait that turns you on?"
I love a walk. A little strut. Nothing like getting the heart racing.
Tingles
"Getting my head scratched or having someone run their fingers through my hair."
SensitiveDolphin55
"Same. It’s so pleasant when the tingles run down your spine... ;-) "
PumpkinSpiceMaster
LOLOL
"When a girl genuinely laughs at jokes I make."
Realistic_Practice16
"I remember being on a first date with a beautiful woman and I made a bit of corny joke/comment and she laughed at it. I remember thinking, damn, wait till I get to my good stuff. I did get to my good material apparently as we were married. She gives me as many laughs as I give her."
CarlJustCarl
Do Right
"Kindness. When I see someone going out of their way to help others for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do… that is some truly attractive vibes."
Electrical-Bid-9577
"Apparently it's vanishing from this world really fast. People who show kindness often end up in losses (of course not everytime but most of the time yes). It really breaks my heart."
Walker1798
"Probably the sexiest thing out there. Someone can be smoking hot, funny, talented, etc. But if they're not kind, they're unattractive."
sravll
Oh Yes...
"Smiling right at me, and men stretching. LAWD HAVE MERCY!!"
Skwiddling
"I have trouble smiling at women. Is this a turnoff for them? And ones I like are really hard to smile at. Because I know it's always going to be some really weird big smile if I am crushing which makes me feel like a super duper creep."
Maximum_Knee_4622
Simplicity
"Sorry if this is too kinky but i like it when they care about me."
SirReal10000
"Too far man. You need to rethink your choices."
Funkeysismychildhood
Sometimes it's all about the heart.
Eye 2 Eye
"When a guy explains something to you in a calm and understanding voice. Bonus points for gentle eye contact."
Belphiespillow666
GENIUS!!
"Being crazily intelligent. Screw dirty talk, I want you to explain some unexplainable s**t in my ear."
-F**KINGUSERNAME
"Heck yes. My best connections have been with a philosophy/history professor turned chancellor, an environmental engineer, and a neurosurgeon, all 3 Summa cum laude grads and conference speakers in their fields. The downside to genius though is complete absorption in their fields leaving little time for in person connection."
__trezora__
Yummies
"Everyone should know how to cook. Hunger knows no gender. I like to eat good food so I learned how to cook. I asked my mom one day and she reacted surprised. She was more than grateful to have an opportunity to teach me the ‘finer’ aspects of cooking, as she called it. Lol. I love food."
"My girlfriend, now wife, likes to jokingly say I got her into bed with a well seasoned steak and homemade fries. I mean we did sleep together almost immediately after we finished dinner so maybe she’s right. That old saying comes to mind. 'The quickest way to the heart is though the stomach.'"
SaiyanGodKing
Getting Green
"When I ask my husband for help when I repot my plants and he delicately cleans and moves the leaves. He is a mechanical engineer and he works with huge pieces of industrial equipment, seeing him so tenderly caring for my plants just makes me melt."
BoysenberryNo3877
Limbs A Lot
"Men doing intricate work with their hands."
GooglePixel69
"I second this, also someone who can play guitar/bass real real well... just watching their hands, whoa mama."
squeaky-mcgee
Well, it seems that just about anything can get someone in the mood, especially if you're kind, courteous, and especially a good cook.
Anything to add? Let us know in the comments below!
People Explain Which Previously Luxurious Things Are Now Considered Totally Normal
Even just in the past decade, items that used to seem too luxurious or expensive for "average" people to purchase are now incredibly affordable. And inaccessible produce and personal hygiene products are close to a distant memory.
It's fun to think back about how far we've come.
Redditor Repulsive_Ad_1163 asked:
"What previously luxurious thing is now considered normal?"
Speciality Spices
"Vanilla. It’s the second most expensive spice by weight, even today… but for some reason, it’s associated with bland or mundane flavor. Go figure."
- AccioNimbus
Year-Round Produce
"Today's produce is a crazy luxury."
"You are telling me that in Ontario Canada, I can get perfectly ripe bananas in January? Insanity."
- mkicon
Car Bag Phones
"I remember my dad having a bag/car phone in the '90s for his business and people thinking that was a huge deal."
- ServiceCall1986
Cell Phones
"25 years ago, I was in high school, and we watched a corporate video in class. It was one of those of how the future will be all bright and shiny, as long as everyone uses brand X."
"The video was by Motorola, and it described the future. And they weren't that far off, stuff like zoom calls from the beach. But the one thing that had everyone in the class laughing and dismissing the video as bulls**t?"
"The eight-year-old with her own cell phone. Because 'no parent would ever spend that much money on a phone for a kid.'"
- UssMaurauder
Aluminum
"The only way there used to be to get aluminum was to find native deposits of it. Meaning, basically, pure nuggets or otherwise tiny little deposits. Which were exceptionally rare. Hence the precious nature of aluminum."
"Aluminium didn't become the ridiculously disposable commodity it is today until we learned how to break bauxite with electricity."
- PM_ME_CUTE
Accessible Water
"Running Water. I live in a rural part of Alaska in the summer, it is still a luxury there."
- ier_who
Car Features
"Power windows in a car."
- mook1178
Backup Cameras
"Car backup cameras. I think they're mandatory standard features on cars now."
- Augustus58
Readily Available Food and Water
"I LOVE that I can buy pre-butchered meat and vegetables I didn't grow and pasta I didn't make, etc."
"I read 'Little House on the Prarie,' I'm not butchering the pigs and preserving the meat in barrels/smoking it over two weeks, and it's awesome!"
- Revolutionary-Yak-47
Flat Screen TVs
"The first flat screen TV I saw was at a Bose store in the Spring of 99' and it was 42" for $15k! By today's standards, it was a fat flat screen of lower pixel quality. Crazy how cheap you can get one for now!"
- krejkick
Meat Products
"Eating meat every day, my grandfather was born during WWII and he told me that he only ate meat once a week when he was a kid. I can't speak for other countries but in the French countryside that was considered a luxury post-WWII."
- lehmx
Purple Dye
"Purple clothing."
"If there was one random thing I remember from middle school social studies/history, it’s going to be the fact that purple pigment was for the elite."
- GorillonDollars
Feminine Products
"I'm old enough that when I was a girl, most sanitary napkins still had a suspender belt that you attached the pad to; the 'beltless' maxi pads that arrived in the '70s were a game-changing deal."
"And tampons? Revolutionary, although they required a large body of marking reassurance that girls' virginity wouldn't be ruined by tampon use..."
- Mis_Emily
Different Expenses
"Agatha Christie once said, 'I never thought I would ever be so poor that I would not have servants, or so rich that I would own a car.'"
"But Honestly this statement is still quite true around the world."
"In places like southeast Asia, many families have live-in helpers or servants and they are quite poor themselves. Yet they can't afford a car."
"It's wild."
- AussieCollector
Orange Selection
"My dad used to always put an orange in my stocking and explained that it used to be a big deal because the fruit was hard to find."
"I carried on the tradition with my own kids. My 20-year-old, who I still make a stocking for, told me this past Christmas that it doesn't feel like Christmas if he doesn't get an orange in his stocking."
"He said when he has kids, he'll carry on the tradition and explain why. It made me feel good to know that it was as important to him as it was to me."
- Smart_Cabinet_9381
It's amazing to think of how the economy and our lifestyles have evolved over the years, and how expenses have changed to reflect that.