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People Share The Best Dad Jokes They Have Ever Heard

People Share The Best Dad Jokes They Have Ever Heard
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Dad jokes can feel like the unloved step-sibling of the comical world. "Why would we laugh at something so obvious and stupid?"

Becuase it's hilarious, that's why. Just check out the following entries below and see for yourself.


Reddit user, u/GrotiusandPufendorf, wanted to know what the funniest jokes on the planet are when they asked:

What is your favorite dad joke?

A Murder Of Cows?

Dad: Look at that flock of cows over there.

Kids: A HERD of cows.

Dad: Of course I heard of cows, there is a flock of them right over there.

Note: pulled that joke successfully a few times, and my kids even did it to their summer camp instructor.

ManOfLaBook

We Should Probably Leaf

Giphy

At the park with my girls: "Dad, can we go play?"

Me: "sure, just stay away from those trees over there"

Girls: " umm...ok, why?"

Me: " I don't know...they look a little shady to me."

Good for producing eye rolls

Fleurdelis502

What Better Way To Carry It Home

"Would you like the milk in the bag?"

Dad: "No thanks, you can keep it in the carton."

Captain-Yesh

Scrambled Or Over-Easy?

Dad at breakfast: I'll have bacon and eggs, please

Waiter: How do you like your eggs?

Dad: I don't know, I haven't gotten them yet!

roman12325

Feeling The Humor

Dad: "Nice shirt, is that felt?"

Not Dad: "No."

Dad: Reaches over and touches sleeve "It is now!"

Cheese_Pancakes

That Joke Killed!

Why do graveyards have gates?

Because people are dying to get in.

My Dad always told it passing a graveyard.

Vlaed

Lean Back. Lean Back.

"I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back."

akaShadezz11

Stating The Obvious, But Still Hilarious

I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket!

As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, "you can hide but you can't run!"

Jantra

Give It A Second...

A magician was walking down the street.

Then, he turned into a grocery store.

aworldwithoutshrimp

Car Humor. That's All.

Dad putting car in reverse

Dad: Ahh, this takes me back

Hkatsupreme

That's Always The Point

Giphy

Not a joke in the traditional sense but, when I'm at a restaurant and the waitress says "Do you wanna box for that?" I always reply with "No, but I'll wrestle you for it."

No one ever gets it but it makes me laugh. And that's the point, right?

bdoz138

And the King of Them All...?

I tell dad jokes.

Sometimes he laughs.

Moleskin21

Man yelling into phone
Icons8 Team/Unsplash

A person who loudly mouths their opinion about a certain topic with so much confidence isn't always right.

They're usually lacking self-awareness.

Or they're just being obnoxious.

We know who these people are. They are the ones who think they can get their point across effectively simply by raising their voice because that'll register.

Umm, no.

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Be it an old familiar, or a new establishment that has been the talk of the town, restaurant diners are always faced with a challenge once they are handed a menu.

Do they stick with what they know, and order the burger and fries or spaghetti and meatballs, which are both difficult to screw up?

Or do they get a little adventurous, and try the restaurant's specialité, even if it's something they've never tried before in their lives?

Generally speaking, it tends to be on a case-by-case basis based on the restaurant they are dining in.

Of course, some people have such an aversion to certain ingredients or dishes, that no matter the location, they will never order it.

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"Never dip your pen in the company ink."

An age-old cautionary saying urging people not to get romantically entangled with their coworkers.

Doing so used to be illegal at many companies, whereas now it's grown to become a bit more commonplace, and often results in some cases of wedded bliss and happily ever afters (as demonstrated by The Office's Jim and Pam.)

Of course, when entering a relationship with a coworker, be it a one night stand or a committed, multi-year relationship, there is always the risk that it might not end well, resulting in your being forced to see your ex every day at the office (Bridget Jones anyone?)

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It can take a lot of courage to put yourself out there and let someone know you're interested.

As long as they're not creepy, aggressive, or crazy, it should be flattering, right?

If you're straight and a person of the same gender as you flirts with you, this should be easy to deal with.

In most cases, it took a lot more courage for them to ask than for you to hear.

The following question has been asked to many a straight guy over the years.

Let's see how the times and reactions have progressed.

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