People Break Down The Worst Co-Worker They've Ever Had
I still hate them!!
We all know "those" people. They haunt us in the middle of the night and sour our daydreams. They make our career lives miserable..... you know those of who I speak... co-workers. The co-workers who do no work or work but can't shut up or just constantly leave you with a desire to die. And why is it these people never seem to be fired? They are there to test our human resolve. Don't fail. There are always going to be these people in our lives.
Redditor u/drlqnr wanted to know who is that one person from work who will always haunt you by asking.... What's the worst coworker you've ever worked with?The Chanel Bandit.
GiphyThis is about 15 years ago but the office I worked in instituted a scent free policy. One woman, who was already insufferable, was so offended by it that she snuck in her perfume collection.
She'd walk down the halls and spray perfume into empty offices or cubicles when no one was looking or before everyone arrived in the morning.
This went on for well over a month or two and we had no idea who was responsible. My coworkers and I started referring to this mysterious person as the Chanel Bandit.
She was finally caught on camera in the act. She'd left for three weeks vacation and was unaware that we had installed cameras after a break in. Some of us already suspected her, as the Chanel Bandit mysteriously stopped spraying while she was away.
She quit right after she was caught. None of us were sad to see that cedar scented psycho leave. stoic_minotaur
Daycare.
I worked in childcare, and they had hired a new assistant/trainee teacher for my room (each room has 2 teachers). She just constantly argued about the dumbest crap, and always tried to argue with me about both company and state childcare policies because "that's dumb." Also was late every day her first week there. It all just started adding up until I was changing diapers and she was holding a 2 yr old child on her lap.
I see a child biting another child and say "you need to go help them" as I have a child in the middle of a very explosive poopy diaper change up on the changing table and can't leave him there obviously. She doesn't get up. I repeat it, and she says "Well I have this kid on my lap" so I say "take him off your lap". She responds "he's strong" like this grown adult is unable to move a 2 year old off her lap because of some weird super strength. Then the child bites the other child again and at that point I'm mad and tell her to get up and help them now.
She then proceeds to say "So what, I have to watch these 4 kids while you just have ONE up on the table?!" like I'm somehow supposed to have multiple children on the table at once to make her job of sitting on the floor making sure kids don't get bit twice in a row easier, and our ratios were 4:1 anyways. I finished my diaper change, stuck my head out the door to my supervisor and told her "get this lady out of my room" and they did after and wrote her up after reviewing the footage of the incident. She was fired for no call no showing the next week. I've worked with a lot of idiots in childcare but she was so crappy in such a short amount of time. ameliadenice
Never Friends.
I have a coworker who's very old-fashioned and strongly believes that males and females cannot be friends. Well, it just so happens that my manager and I, a male and a female, happen to get along quite well because of our similar ages and interests. She reported me to the other managers for it and accused me of sleeping with him. rosatenena
3 Down for Daniel!
GiphyThis guy named Daniel I used to work with at McDonald's in high school. He let everyone know he worked out and enjoyed being on the football team. He had this thing about taking 5 poops a day. He would walk by on his way back from the toilet, chest out, shoulders back and triumphantly announce "that's poop number 3!"... damn Daniel. KillerKackwurst4
Memory Jog.
I had a packager operator I worked with on the machine I run. He did okay but every Monday I would have to basically retrain him on the packager controls. I guess he had an excuse though because he had a TBI from a motorcycle wreck years before. Once I jogged his memory he did good for the rest of the week. weedful_things
Gross.
I had a guy at work make a bunch of gross comments in a full break room. My husband was sitting in the break room waiting for me. Heard all of it, i walked right into HR and listed the 30 some people in this normally really quiet lunch room. That dude was so gross. Kantotheotter
"Top right corner, click on the straight line."
I worked with a guy who couldn't learn new skills. When he started he had to learn new programs and processes, just like anyone would at almost any job. He couldn't pick up on it, whether it was where to click in a software to get a certain result or how to fill out a report.
Everyone on my team took turns showing him the ropes and it never sunk in. I remember being so frustrated because he could not figure out how to minimize a window.
"Top right corner, click on the straight line." It took like 3-4 seconds for him to drag the mouse to the corner and then he'd hover around it but never on it.
Super nice guy, but impossible to work and collaborate with on projects because so much time was wasted. elevenghosts
Retail Laaaaaaazzzzzy.....
GiphyI worked with someone in retail. He was my boss, and not a particularly bad guy, but he was a control freak who had to interject his opinion during every conversation anyone was having with a customer.
This also went as far as him being in the middle of helping someone himself, stopping helping that customer to lean over to my till to "help" me with my transaction even though there was no indication I needed help and had worked there for over 5 years.
This "help" would be in the form of him telling me what button to hit next on the till to telling a customer they were wrong to have any given opinion on a topic to telling customers that their choice of entertainment they were purchasing wasn't what they were after, even if they specifically came into the store for that specific item.
He was also laaaaazzzzy as hell! Not a bad guy, but holy hell do I not miss working with him. Mendunbar
Don't be like Dan.
GiphyHis name was Dan. Dan was 37 working at a dead end job as a lab specimen processor in a windowless room for 9 hours a day. He ate only Burger King, but without the lettuce because that's "rabbit food." He drank literally a gallon of Mountain Dew a day, and was confused as to why people were horrified by that. "There's water in it" he would say. Apparently if he ate corn he would vomit and have to go to the hospital.
He would tell me he firmly believed that man and dinosaur roamed the earth at the same time, along with many other "theories" that came from his "gut." One day we got into a political argument before the 2016 election where he said "if Bernie Sanders is elected president, there will be a civil war, and I will not hesitate to kill you and your family." Dan was fired. I got out of there as soon as I could. Don't be like Dan. RedTiger013
"too nice."
My old supervisor. She was that special brand of "too nice." Laughing was her nervous tic and hoo boy it was CONSTANT. She was incapable of being assertive which is not the best quality for someone whose job is telling other people what to do. The best she could do was be passive-aggressively nice when she REALLY needed something done which just made everyone dislike her. ApocalypseWednesday
Don't talk to me....
GiphyMy coworker likes to initiate conversations, then does long pauses where you go to say something back, then he cuts you off and keeps talking. He has entire conversations almost entirely by himself. He also likes to make changes to my paperwork before its turned in.... ends up riddled with spelling mistakes while he tries to make the content look smarter. Fortunately its all electronically stamped with who made revisions. inu_yasha
About the Boy....
Worked with a girl who would sometimes just lay in the floor and play on her phone. She would routinely flip out about something her boy friend did and just start screaming curse words, sometimes in front of customers. She was eventually fired for smoking weed while on the clock. AtlantaFieldClowns
Trash.
I had a manager once who dumped trash on my desk my third day there. She said it was to remind me that taking out the trash was part of my job description (it wasn't, I was a research assistant at a mortgage firm). itkat16
Stop Thinking.
Not necessarily a "co-worker" but my old supervisor literally told me not to think, even if it's wrong that I do things her way, and not to ask questions because I should already know what to do. I had just gotten the position. mutantandproud95
SMH....
GiphyFast food. Third shift. The only other employee stayed in the bathroom doing blow. MollyXDanger502
The Arrogant.
When I was an intern, there was this old shrew who would call people into her office (my cube shared a thin wall), gossip, then call those people in to tell them what was said, etc.
She would try to frame people for sh!t she did wrong. She was so arrogant. And she refused to adapt to workforce modernization. Example: she refused to learn how to hyperlink in emails, documents, etc. A real ray of sunshine she was! mandz_camz24
most crazy is a lady.....
I have several bad ones but the one that drives me the most crazy is a lady who creates problems just so she can solve them. Ugh. She takes a simple job, finds the one tiny issue, blows that up and freaks everyone out and then "solves" it so she can be the hero. Just take the 1 minute to fix the issue in the first place. It would save the literal hours she spends working everyone up so she can be their savior. SylkoZakurra
Being at Walmart.
GiphyMy worst co-worker was one I worked with when I was a cashier at Walmart. She approached me and asked me to cash out her paycheck. I was still new at the job and never got training on how to do that function. She was sympathetic, so she walked me through how to do it. Transaction over and done, I go on about my day.
I get called back a couple of days later by my managers and they circled me in an office and accused me of stealing. After tears, video tapes, and telling them what happened they told me that apparently this coworker of mine had stolen not only from me, but several other people that day as well. They just wanted to confirm I wasn't in on the deal.
Forget Walmart, and forget that woman for almost getting me arrested. jellojock
I fired him that day.
Hired a cook on a good recommendation. He was just fine the first two weeks. Then I noticed food going missing. Then supplies started going missing. Then a customer told me that he had been adding auto 30% tips his food purchases. When I looked at the books, I saw that he had been adding 30% tips to ALL the credit card sales.
And the cash rings were off from what should have been sold. I fired him that day.
The next day he came in and apologized. Said he was on drugs and was going to rehab. I wished him well. Then next day he tried to break in after close and was caught. Idiot. Sirnando138
LAWYER PLEASE!!!
GiphyThe HR manager at my last job had zero training, education or experience in HR. She was argumentative, passive aggressive and incompetent. Toward the end she asked me "Why are you being resistant?" and "You're not being a team player." when I was advocating for client safety. I was the second person in less than a year to leave and hire an attorney. miken322
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Life-Threatening Situations First Responders Wish People Knew How To Handle Better
Reddit user PeachMilkshake2319 asked: 'First Responders of Reddit what is a terrifying situation that you wish more people knew how to handle to result in less casualties?'
When I was about 16 months old, I fell asleep in my high chair with a piece of toast in my mouth. No one noticed I had a piece of toast in my mouth, so it was panic-inducing for my parents when I suddenly woke up because I was choking.
Luckily, my mom knew what to do in this situation and was able to make me cough it back up. When my mom told that story a few years later to her paramedic friend, the paramedic said she'd seen a lot of children in fatal situations because their parents weren't able to help them while they were choking.
First responders have seen a lot of bad situations that could've been avoided if people educated themselves to handle them better.
First responder Redditors know this all too well and are ready to share their advice.
It all started when Redditor PeachMilkshake2319 asked:
"First Responders of Reddit what is a terrifying situation that you wish more people knew how to handle to result in less casualties?"
Here I Am
"Have your address clearly marked & lit so responders can get to you quickly... every second counts."
– Ten7850
"So many of the tips here are wilderness survival, and I can't argue those will help."
"But coming from a kid that's suburban raised and city for the last dozen - this hit me hard."
– pnwWaiter
When You're Alone
"How to perform a heimlich on yourself, you're a goner without a doubt if you're by yourself and food gets too stuck."
– Personalberet49
"When I was 13 years old I was choking on a bit of hamburger in my grandparents house while both of them were out of the house. I had to get up against the lazy boy and give myself the Heimlich maneuver. Finished the burger though it was tasty."
– Mewtoy
"On this note, if you’re choking on something and coughing, lean forward over your knees with your head down. Let gravity help clear the blockage, rather than trying to fight it."
– Catfishers
Please, Make A Scene
"It is way too common to find people choked to death on toilet stalls at restaurant. By instinct they don't want to disturb others and seek a place where they try to get whatever is stuck on their throat out. Please, if you are choking, try to get help and let everyone know that you are in trouble."
""Oh I don't want to embarras myself and ruin peoples night, so I'll just die in the toilet" is a wrong mindset in that situation."
– timippa
"I’ve had 3 instructors mention that it’s mostly women who do this too. Women are (in general) raised to not make a scene and are more likely than men to go to the bathroom when choking."
– Anoif_sky
Don't Cut It Off!
"Limb amputations. Easy to save someone with a tourniquet. Keep a few in your car, know how to apply them. It can save your or someone else’s life. Tons and tons of blood dumps out of an amputation."
– tibearius1123
Better Safe Than Sorry
"Treat every gun as if it’s loaded."
– RangerDangerfield
Stumble And Fall
"Friend of mine is a police officer in his home city. If your friend is drunk get them a cab home. DO NOT leave them to take the train home. He always tells me 90 percent of the people he gets run over by trains are drunks who fall into the train tracks."
– Cool_loser69
No Water Please
"Caveat - do not drink water that smells or tastes rancid or contaminated. Chances are it will make you vomit, causing you to get even more dehydrated."
– KristjanKa
Verify, Don't Trust
"Also don't entrust a drunk/incapacitated person to the care of someone you don't know. Don't trust their tinder date or an uber driver to get them home safely. That's how people go missing or get assaulted."
– notreallylucy
Check, Never Assume
"Ex-EMT here. We’re talking 13 years ago."
"It’s not a great idea to put the pedal down as soon as the traffic light turns green. Wait a couple extra seconds. That first 2-3 seconds when the light turns green is a GREAT time to get nailed by some idiot blowing through a red light."
– CDC_
"The only assumption I make when driving is that everybody else on the road is an idiot."
"If you assume they're an idiot, you can be more prepared for stupid stuff they might do"
– Raxsah
"I’ve always said “assume every other driver doesn’t know what they’re doing, where they’re going, where they are, or how to operate their vehicle”. Thus far, it’s been a success."
– EveryFairyDies
"My dad always told me"
""75% of people on the road are blind and stupid. The other 25% are actively trying to kill you""
– WhiteWizardDD
Allergies Kill
"How to inject an epipen!"
– readitpaige
"Don't put your thumb on the end of the pen! Great way to stab yourself instead (although if you're stabbing yourself anyway an EpiPen to the thumb is still better than nothing)"
– TerribleIdea27
"Haha in my EMS class the day they passed around an EpiPen, my teacher was literally saying "and just so y'all know, that EpiPen is hot, so whatever you do, don't put your finger--" and got cut off by "OW!""
"Calm as a cucumber, he continued, "--and now yall're gonna practice vitals on our newest victim!""
– TrailMomKat
Be Prepared
"I’m not a first responder, but my wife was a trauma nurse (now PACU) and we’ve found ourselves in some not ideal situations in our travels."
"Take an AED/CPR/First Aid class, bonus points for Stop The Bleed (it’s often free!). That will prep you for the majority of stuff you’ll encounter. Have a good first aid kit on hand at home and in your car."
– hipsterasshipster
You Are Not Immune
"If everyone in a room/vehicle/building is unresponsive, DO NOT ENTER FOR ANY REASON. If you see someone collapse after entering a confined space, DO NOT ENTER FOR ANY REASON. If you see a person collapsed near a potential chemical spill, DO NOT ENTER FOR ANY REASON. Overall, if it killed them, it will kill you."
– garfieldlover3000
Strapped In
"Wear your f**king seat belt"
– Shamefullvaper
"And make sure others in the car also wear their seatbelt."
– FueledByFlan
"I literally won't move my car until everyone inside is buckled in. It's one of the few things I've been a stickler about my whole life."
– TUNGSTEN_WOOKIE
Some of these (especially that last one) seem simple, but they are all vitally important!
Grade school teachers are responsible for a myriad of things in addition to being educators.
As adult supervisors, they have to make sure everything in the classroom is in order and act accordingly if something goes awry–which is inevitable since there is always one mischievous student or two.
Curious to hear from educators and their disciplinary tactics, Redditor RodotC asked:
"Teachers of Reddit, what's the worst thing you have confiscated from a student?"
These teachers had to deal with confiscating weapons.
Sharp Object
"A huge butcher knife. That he was actively trying to stab me with. He was 6."
– Interesting_Sock9142
Taser Tag
"An entire police-grade taser."
– Financial-Cattle-356
"My buddy Eric once brought in half of a police grade taser"
– MalachyXavier
Clever Crisis Prevention
"A large brick that an angry male student picked up and walked into the toilet block with. A teacher’s aide alerted me to the incident unfolding. The boy had a verbal altercation with another boy and followed him into the toilets with a brick he had found."
"I walked into the toilet block and said, 'Excuse me, that’s my brick.' The boy turned around and asked how it was mine. I said my name was written on it and I’d like it back. He asked where it was written, so I held out my hand to show him. He handed the brick over and I said, 'My mistake, it looked a lot like this one.' I removed the brick from the toilet block situation very quickly."
"I held on to the brick and alerted the deputy principal. I still can’t believe that sh*t worked."
– Barkblood
Huge Assortment
"I used to be a monitor for kids from rough neighborhoods, we would take them out to the mountains or countryside and have them sleep overnight and do activities, like scouts."
"During the day I would take mostly cigarettes, but during the pre bedtime inspection we always confiscated shanks, metal poles and upgraded 2x4 bats..."
– logges
Harmful Accessory
"Legitimate brass knuckles. He was knocking them against his desk and saying threatening things to my other students. Brass knuckles are illegal in general where I live, not just forbidden in school, so both he and his parents were in some trouble."
– Grammar__B*tch
Criminal origin stories may be found here.
Young Klepto
"Most of the time it was just lighters."
"The worst thing I found was less about the item itself and more about the context. I heard news that my student with Down's syndrome was mugged that morning in the bathroom before school and would be spending the day in the principles office. Coincidentally this was the same day that another one of my students, one who has tons of behavioral issues and was borderline sociopathic (this kid legitimately liked seeing others upset/in pain), returned from being sick."
"When I was told that the mugged student was still missing his wallet. I started to think back to how shifty the other kid was being that morning, but part of me almost refused to check the other kid's desk as I just didn't want to believe one of my 3rd grade students could truly be that heartless. Eventually I did check, and I was getting happier and happier as I dug through the desk not finding anything, only to reach the back and pull out the f'king blue Sonic the Hedgehog wallet. I think it was the only time I'd ever been angry as a teacher, and I was just fuming. Not even at the student, more just pissed that that's the way things had to be."
– zachtheperson
Bad Business
"Not a teacher, but when in high school, they had to shut down an entire bathroom because a girl had a business of piercings and tattoos in the bathroom. Chick literally had the whole Claire's piercing gun and a whole tattoo gun... and of course the drugs.... let's just say she was expelled."
– mixedcerealwithoj
Oh, The Irony
"A tightly taped and wrapped 'brick' that had 'not drugs' written in sharpie. He was throwing it around the classroom like a football. When I confiscated it and saw what was written on it I called the resource officer. It was drugs."
– IssaJuhn
These are not toys.
Repeat, these items are not toys...for kids.
Poke And Prod
"A raccoon penis toothpick a male student kept poking a female student with."
"He had backups."
– Chaps_and_salsa
"People actually make toothpicks from raccoon penises?? Just because you can doesn't mean you should ffs."
– Epik_Guy
I'm not a teacher but as a middle school student, I had something taken from me and I still don't have a clue as to why.
It was clearly not required reading but I had a paperback copy of Stephen King's The Tommyknockers on my desk.
My teacher was so appalled after seeing it, she swiped it and told me that I could retrieve it after class.
Perhaps it was unsuitable reading material for a 14-year-old? Who knows?
But I remember feeling guilty for no reason and ashamed that I was reading a book written by The Shining horror author.
From our friends and families' own cringy stories, to the tales captured on social media, we've all witnessed our fair share of proposals that totally missed the mark or were just plain awkward.
In fact, most of us have come across so many of these stories, we all have an idea of what the worst proposal in the world would be.
Redditor aloe_veracity asked:
"What is the worst possible way to propose?"
Stealing the Spotlight
"At someone else's wedding or wedding reception."
- N-y-s-s-a
"I had to stop my friend from doing that. One of the nicest dudes ever, just a little naive."
"Fortunately, this was before the wedding, I didn’t slap the ring out of his hand or anything like that. I just very clearly told him it was a bad idea whilst at the pub."
- Polite_as_h**l
Clearly a Subplot from 'Grey's Anatomy'
"Arrange a fancy date night with your girlfriend, including dinner at a posh restaurant."
"In the middle of the meal, fake a brain aneurysm. Bite into a concealed blood pack, collapse, and fall onto the floor, the whole bit. A 'doctor' or a 'nurse' planted at an adjacent table rolls you onto your back, checks you, and says that you're not breathing and you have no pulse."
"He or she rips open your shirt to apply a defibrillator... revealing, 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' written on your chest in red body paint."
"Pull out the ring, and say, 'I can't live without you, baby.'"
- Thatimensfaa
So Romantic
"Chucking the ring at them and saying, 'Here, wear this.'"
- Kai6180
"My friend got engaged like this and thought it was so cute for some reason. They did not last."
- Bada**Bumblebee
Wedding Dress Included
"My mom told me that my cousin’s girlfriend got tired of waiting for him to propose (apparently he said he would but hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it) that she straight up bought a wedding dress and told him they were getting married."
"He said, 'Okay.'"
"I believe they’ve been married for about 20 years now."
- PorkrindsMcSnacky
So Nervous
"My husband proposed to me while I was driving. At night. On a very busy, twisting road."
"He had a big proposal planned but then got super nervous and kind of just blurted out the proposal while we were in the car."
"We celebrate our 25th anniversary this fall. My thought was if I had the power to make him THAT nervous, I was in a pretty solid position."
"Honestly, it's not how you're asked; it's who's doing the asking."
- Neener216
Worth Waking Up For
"Mine might be the worst. I was a broke 19-year-old and thought that if I can't spend money on a good proposal, I'd go with the element of surprise."
"I woke her up at 3:00 AM and gave a speech about how we were going to be together forever and propose."
"Her response: ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME...'"
"We've been married 14 years this October."
- the_navillus
Red Flags in the Morning
"I got woken up an hour before my alarm clock rang. He just came home from visiting his parents for the weekend."
"No elaborate speech, just a 'Now or later?'"
"Me, being an unarticulated zombie for the first hour after being woken up, managed to mumble, 'Now.'"
"I got the ring stuck on my finger. It was slightly too small. And then I just went to work."
"Later that day, he reminded me that I still 'have to' say yes. Of course I did."
"A day later, colleagues figured out he never asked. He just demanded. So I told him to ask me, but he said since I already said yes, he didn't need to."
"After a little back and forth, he asked."
"I should have seen that red flag waving in front of my face, but it took two years to see it."
- Mondfairy
Practical Purposes Only
"This is the story of how my parents got engaged."
"Dad: Hey, you should move in with me."
"Mom: No. Not until we're married."
"Dad: Okay. Fine. Let's get married."
"Mom: Wait. Are you seriously asking me like this?"
"Dad: Yes. Why not. Marry me and then you can move in with me."
"And then they got married."
"It did not go well."
- biddily
Short and Sweet
"Proposing via text."
- Salty-Entertainer-29
"will u marry me?"
"k."
- aloe_veracity
Public Proposals
"For me personally, the worst would be any grand gesture around people. I’d rather you ask during a cozy night on the couch."
"My ex and I just talked and knew we were going to do it. We picked up the ring together and were walking out of the store. He bent down on his knee at a bench, and no one was paying attention. I’ll never forget how precious that was to me."
"I was at a large music festival last year and saw a guy propose to his girl quietly in the back of a crowd. No one seemed to notice that either, but I saw it and started crying to myself at how beautiful it was. She was snuggling into him the whole rest of the set."
- ApprehensiveBanana07
Quite the Rebound
"Say the wrong name. Other than that, you'll be fine."
- shipsaway9
"Something similar happened to a family friend. Someone she met online proposed to her within weeks of meeting her with a gorgeous diamond ring."
"She got caught in the moment and said, 'Yes.' It was at a fairly busy restaurant and everyone started clapping and cheering for them."
"When she got home, she took off the ring to send us a photo of it, and that's when she noticed that there was someone's else initial engraved on the inside."
"Turns out that the guy's ex-fiancee had broken up with him just months before their wedding. He met my friend online and decided to ask her to marry him instead out of spite and possibly because he didn't want to lose his deposit on the wedding venue and catering."
- Dane_k23
Fooled Ya
"Propose after being caught cheating."
- BeneficialSomewhere
The Argument to Win Them All
"While in an argument about wanting the get married, bring out the ring and just say, 'Here.'"
"A friend of a friend was 'proposed' to this way and thought it was the cutest. The red flags were waving themselves."
- royal_rose_
A Different Take
"Propose from prison."
- No-Art-9083
"Propose in prison."
- aloe_veracity
"Propose ON TOP of a prison."
- Ok_Wave_7359
A Jarring Experience
"Shock them by proposing to them right after they've told you that they've lost their job."
- BroadcasterX
Proposing or being proposed to is supposed to be one of the most special moments in a couple's life, signifying all that is to come. Imagining how someone could approach this moment in some of these ways is really staggering.
You can say that some single people can be envious of those who are blinded by love.
You know the expression. A person who is blinded by love is when they are so deeply engrossed in the throes of passion with a lover that their relationship defies all logic.
On the one hand, that level of amorousness is romantic. But on the other hand, it can be totally deceiving.
People who are blinded by love tend to rush into things and make life-changing decisions that can come back to haunt them. Like getting married.
Curious to hear about regretful choices, Redditor tippytoes1216 asked strangers online:
"When did you realize you married the wrong person?"
Some realized gradually that something was off.
Losing A Sense Of Self
"One day I realized I had become a smaller version of myself."
– mlerin
"Yeah damn. I'm about a year past a really tough breakup, and this hits hard. My friends all tell me they like the new me. And it certainly feels easier to be me. I don't know why I ever let it be reduced. I think she left me with a bit of imposter syndrome, but it turns out I'm f'kin' dope."
– thefrenchflex
No More Exercising
"When she sat me down and with a straight face said 'I’ve thought about this and you’re not going to exercise anymore.'”
"I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with in running stroller."
"She said you’re a father and it’s too time consuming. That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake lol."
"Catching her with another man in my car didn’t help the case to stay married."
– JD054
This Woman's Work
"Engaged not quite married yet."
"When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son, after having emergency surgery... and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said 'why aren't the f**king dishes done?'"
"Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there 2 weeks later."
– Neverinfocus
Unfit Mother
"It was a death of a thousand cuts. One of the first was when I realized she didn't trust me. We had been together around 10 years at this point. But I had a moment of clarity and literally said to her 'you don't trust me do you?' Before she could answer I said 'you don't trust anybody.' And she agreed."
"She would routinely throw the kids out of the tub and the bathroom completely naked because they splashed her while getting a bath. And not just that, she would yell at the top of her lungs at how bad they were. The kids were around 2-4 at the time. God forbid the toddler splashes the water in the tub."
"Another time I don't even remember the cause but I tried to play mediator. As in 'ok daughter you did something wrong, let's apologize to mommy'. And she would. Then I'd ask mommy to apologize to our daughter for what for her role and mom absolutely refused to apologize. Ive known this lady more than 20 years and ive never heard her apologize. Literally never."
"The final straw was when one of our kids wanted a hug goodnight before bedtime. She locked herself in our bedroom and refused the hug because she had hugged them earlier in the day. Kids were crying. They didn't understand. I was devastated watching this unfold. Why doesn't mom want to hug me?"
"I try my best to not let it impact me. But we share custody now and I have to watch how she interacts with our kids. Its hard. The best consolidation is the kids are getting older and they're starting to figure it out."
– overarmur
Unworthy Companion
"When I realized if we weren’t dating I wouldn’t have wanted to be his friend."
– dawn855
Some found out on the day of the nuptials.
"No Ice Cream Truck"
"On the wedding day…. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up. So I told her no more, she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars) told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed. Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, in comes the ice cream truck. Knew right then, sadly."
– StrangeJitsu
Inebriated Bride
"On my wedding day. We were married at her Parents house, a beautiful place on a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me. I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I find her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home. Needless to say our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. 5 years later she went in to in-patient treatment and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn't love me and wanted a divorce."
– metrology84
So much for the honeymoon.
True Colors
"It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nose dive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this. Then we walked to the beach nearby and he went swimming with his two friends who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry."
– gridironbuffalo
China Was Telling
"Got married. Went on a honeymoon in China. We were both PhD students at the time. I was working class. Her family was middle class. Her father gave her 10,000 $ for the honeymoon."
"So we go to China to celebrate AND she wants to do some light pre dissertation research while there for a month or two. Fine."
"It turns out, I spent the entire two months alone in tiny hostels, while she did research. I only spoke a few words of Mandarin and I was a broke graduate student, so I couldn’t really afford to/didn’t have the means to easily get to an airport to fly back home (also had 0 family support back home, even if I did manage to make it home). I felt trapped."
"I talked to her about how the trip felt like a research trip and not at all like a honeymoon, how I was alone almost everyday."
"We were sharing a laptop while in the trip (I was too poor to own a laptop, despite being in grad school). I open the laptop one morning before she leaves to go survey a field site without me. Her email is open. She left a message open on the laptop. It’s to her father, stating she wishes I wasn’t there on the trip - our honeymoon. Again, I was told this would be a honeymoon w/ maybe a slight detour for research. It turned out to be a research trip where I was a burden."
"She apologized. We stayed together for a few more years after she got sick and I became a caretaker. I wish, in hindsight, I had left China after reading that email."
– Mtt76812
It's pretty painful to realize that the person with whom you're sleeping next to is not, or never was, your person.
But if there's a glimmer of hope that you and your spouse are willing to put in the work for the sake of a troubled marriage, that's a very redeemable quality.
Sadly, this doesn't apply to all couple, and the best thing to do is to abandon ship before further emotional damage is done.