The Chanel Bandit.

This is about 15 years ago but the office I worked in instituted a scent free policy. One woman, who was already insufferable, was so offended by it that she snuck in her perfume collection.

She'd walk down the halls and spray perfume into empty offices or cubicles when no one was looking or before everyone arrived in the morning.

This went on for well over a month or two and we had no idea who was responsible. My coworkers and I started referring to this mysterious person as the Chanel Bandit.

She was finally caught on camera in the act. She'd left for three weeks vacation and was unaware that we had installed cameras after a break in. Some of us already suspected her, as the Chanel Bandit mysteriously stopped spraying while she was away.

She quit right after she was caught. None of us were sad to see that cedar scented psycho leave. stoic_minotaur

Daycare. 

I worked in childcare, and they had hired a new assistant/trainee teacher for my room (each room has 2 teachers). She just constantly argued about the dumbest crap, and always tried to argue with me about both company and state childcare policies because "that's dumb." Also was late every day her first week there. It all just started adding up until I was changing diapers and she was holding a 2 yr old child on her lap.

I see a child biting another child and say "you need to go help them" as I have a child in the middle of a very explosive poopy diaper change up on the changing table and can't leave him there obviously. She doesn't get up. I repeat it, and she says "Well I have this kid on my lap" so I say "take him off your lap". She responds "he's strong" like this grown adult is unable to move a 2 year old off her lap because of some weird super strength. Then the child bites the other child again and at that point I'm mad and tell her to get up and help them now.

She then proceeds to say "So what, I have to watch these 4 kids while you just have ONE up on the table?!" like I'm somehow supposed to have multiple children on the table at once to make her job of sitting on the floor making sure kids don't get bit twice in a row easier, and our ratios were 4:1 anyways. I finished my diaper change, stuck my head out the door to my supervisor and told her "get this lady out of my room" and they did after and wrote her up after reviewing the footage of the incident. She was fired for no call no showing the next week. I've worked with a lot of idiots in childcare but she was so crappy in such a short amount of time. ameliadenice

Never Friends. 

I have a coworker who's very old-fashioned and strongly believes that males and females cannot be friends. Well, it just so happens that my manager and I, a male and a female, happen to get along quite well because of our similar ages and interests. She reported me to the other managers for it and accused me of sleeping with him. rosatenena

3 Down for Daniel!

This guy named Daniel I used to work with at McDonald's in high school. He let everyone know he worked out and enjoyed being on the football team. He had this thing about taking 5 poops a day. He would walk by on his way back from the toilet, chest out, shoulders back and triumphantly announce "that's poop number 3!"... damn Daniel. KillerKackwurst4

Memory Jog. 

I had a packager operator I worked with on the machine I run. He did okay but every Monday I would have to basically retrain him on the packager controls. I guess he had an excuse though because he had a TBI from a motorcycle wreck years before. Once I jogged his memory he did good for the rest of the week. weedful_things

Gross. 

I had a guy at work make a bunch of gross comments in a full break room. My husband was sitting in the break room waiting for me. Heard all of it, i walked right into HR and listed the 30 some people in this normally really quiet lunch room. That dude was so gross. Kantotheotter

"Top right corner, click on the straight line."

I worked with a guy who couldn't learn new skills. When he started he had to learn new programs and processes, just like anyone would at almost any job. He couldn't pick up on it, whether it was where to click in a software to get a certain result or how to fill out a report.

Everyone on my team took turns showing him the ropes and it never sunk in. I remember being so frustrated because he could not figure out how to minimize a window.

"Top right corner, click on the straight line." It took like 3-4 seconds for him to drag the mouse to the corner and then he'd hover around it but never on it.

Super nice guy, but impossible to work and collaborate with on projects because so much time was wasted. elevenghosts

Retail Laaaaaaazzzzzy.....

I worked with someone in retail. He was my boss, and not a particularly bad guy, but he was a control freak who had to interject his opinion during every conversation anyone was having with a customer.

This also went as far as him being in the middle of helping someone himself, stopping helping that customer to lean over to my till to "help" me with my transaction even though there was no indication I needed help and had worked there for over 5 years.

This "help" would be in the form of him telling me what button to hit next on the till to telling a customer they were wrong to have any given opinion on a topic to telling customers that their choice of entertainment they were purchasing wasn't what they were after, even if they specifically came into the store for that specific item.

He was also laaaaazzzzy as hell! Not a bad guy, but holy hell do I not miss working with him. Mendunbar

Don't be like Dan.

His name was Dan. Dan was 37 working at a dead end job as a lab specimen processor in a windowless room for 9 hours a day. He ate only Burger King, but without the lettuce because that's "rabbit food." He drank literally a gallon of Mountain Dew a day, and was confused as to why people were horrified by that. "There's water in it" he would say. Apparently if he ate corn he would vomit and have to go to the hospital.

He would tell me he firmly believed that man and dinosaur roamed the earth at the same time, along with many other "theories" that came from his "gut." One day we got into a political argument before the 2016 election where he said "if Bernie Sanders is elected president, there will be a civil war, and I will not hesitate to kill you and your family." Dan was fired. I got out of there as soon as I could. Don't be like Dan. RedTiger013

"too nice."

My old supervisor. She was that special brand of "too nice." Laughing was her nervous tic and hoo boy it was CONSTANT. She was incapable of being assertive which is not the best quality for someone whose job is telling other people what to do. The best she could do was be passive-aggressively nice when she REALLY needed something done which just made everyone dislike her. ApocalypseWednesday

Don't talk to me....

My coworker likes to initiate conversations, then does long pauses where you go to say something back, then he cuts you off and keeps talking. He has entire conversations almost entirely by himself. He also likes to make changes to my paperwork before its turned in.... ends up riddled with spelling mistakes while he tries to make the content look smarter. Fortunately its all electronically stamped with who made revisions. inu_yasha

About the Boy....

Worked with a girl who would sometimes just lay in the floor and play on her phone. She would routinely flip out about something her boy friend did and just start screaming curse words, sometimes in front of customers. She was eventually fired for smoking weed while on the clock. AtlantaFieldClowns

Trash. 

I had a manager once who dumped trash on my desk my third day there. She said it was to remind me that taking out the trash was part of my job description (it wasn't, I was a research assistant at a mortgage firm). itkat16

Stop Thinking. 

Not necessarily a "co-worker" but my old supervisor literally told me not to think, even if it's wrong that I do things her way, and not to ask questions because I should already know what to do. I had just gotten the position. mutantandproud95

SMH....

Fast food. Third shift. The only other employee stayed in the bathroom doing blow. MollyXDanger502

The Arrogant. 

When I was an intern, there was this old shrew who would call people into her office (my cube shared a thin wall), gossip, then call those people in to tell them what was said, etc.

She would try to frame people for sh!t she did wrong. She was so arrogant. And she refused to adapt to workforce modernization. Example: she refused to learn how to hyperlink in emails, documents, etc. A real ray of sunshine she was! mandz_camz24

most crazy is a lady.....

I have several bad ones but the one that drives me the most crazy is a lady who creates problems just so she can solve them. Ugh. She takes a simple job, finds the one tiny issue, blows that up and freaks everyone out and then "solves" it so she can be the hero. Just take the 1 minute to fix the issue in the first place. It would save the literal hours she spends working everyone up so she can be their savior. SylkoZakurra

Being at Walmart.

My worst co-worker was one I worked with when I was a cashier at Walmart. She approached me and asked me to cash out her paycheck. I was still new at the job and never got training on how to do that function. She was sympathetic, so she walked me through how to do it. Transaction over and done, I go on about my day.

I get called back a couple of days later by my managers and they circled me in an office and accused me of stealing. After tears, video tapes, and telling them what happened they told me that apparently this coworker of mine had stolen not only from me, but several other people that day as well. They just wanted to confirm I wasn't in on the deal.

Forget Walmart, and forget that woman for almost getting me arrested. jellojock

I fired him that day.

Hired a cook on a good recommendation. He was just fine the first two weeks. Then I noticed food going missing. Then supplies started going missing. Then a customer told me that he had been adding auto 30% tips his food purchases. When I looked at the books, I saw that he had been adding 30% tips to ALL the credit card sales.

And the cash rings were off from what should have been sold. I fired him that day.

The next day he came in and apologized. Said he was on drugs and was going to rehab. I wished him well. Then next day he tried to break in after close and was caught. Idiot. Sirnando138

LAWYER PLEASE!!!

The HR manager at my last job had zero training, education or experience in HR. She was argumentative, passive aggressive and incompetent. Toward the end she asked me "Why are you being resistant?" and "You're not being a team player." when I was advocating for client safety. I was the second person in less than a year to leave and hire an attorney. miken322