Moving in with your significant other is a big step in a relationship, and it can reveal hidden truths about your partner that you didn't know were there. For example, some people don't mind living in squalor. Or they're catfishing you and even after they aren't who they say they are, you move in with them anyway (WTF).
kingrazor001 asked, [Serious] What deal-breaker did you not know about your SO until after you started living together?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
It's not that hard to say you're sorry.
GiphyShe couldn't say "sorry." Dated for years and she could never admit she made a mistake. Like one time she got something out of my car at night and somehow left the passenger door open. It rained and the passenger seat got soaked; car smelled like mildew after that for as long as I owned it. I was really upset when it happened because the car was literally a week old, but the best she could do was make a joke about how a deer must have broken into my car and then not talk to me for a whole day.
Gross.
GiphyHe doesn't mind dirt. I'm not obsessed with a spotless house, but poo on the toilet bowl? Dust so thick you can't read the buttons on the TV? He was fine with that. He couldn't stand a single messy pile of clutter but didn't care much about filth. It was so odd for me, his house was always spotless when I came to visit. When we moved in together I realized he only bothered with that if someone he wasn't comfortable with was coming over.
I knew it was probably bad when I picked up one of his two pairs of work pants and made a comment about how I was washing them because they were rather rank, to which he replied "oh. That's because I haven't washed them since I bought them"
He gets uniform allowance in July. It was December.
I had to read this one twice.
GiphyA female friend of mine moved in with a guy who seemed totally normal. Then a large delivery of adult sized nappies/ diapers arrived. She stuck with it. Then he insisted on wearing them, and she stuck with it. He insisted on pissing in them and getting her to change it. Dear readers, she stuck with it. She had a hip operation and couldn't get upstairs quickly enough to meet his demands and the whole thing fell down. What some people will put up with.
Being in a relationship is more than just sharing rent...
GiphyI kinda knew it beforehand, as he needed time to himself all the time and we only saw each other on weekends. But only after we moved in together I realized how much time he really needed to himself. I basically never saw him and it felt more like we were roommates.
I get how you need alone-time and time to unwind after work (I mean, so do I), but never really seeing your partner wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted.
He sealed the front door shut... why??
GiphyWe dated for a year before moving in together but I didn't know just how weird this guy was until I was with him 24/7. He was always doing really strange things, rearranging furniture while I was out, moving my stuff and not telling me where he put it, pissing in beer bottles and leaving them by the TV... one time he used foam sealant to seal the front door shut and we could only use the back door until we finally got it back open. He never made an effort to get to know my family and lied about his own father dying. I eventually was like, okay, I'm outtie and moved back home and the next day he totaled the car that was in my name and immediately went out and bought a new one. When I was living with him he said he was broke and living off of credit cards, but he had apparently had a stash of money he didn't want to tell me about. Weird dude.
In. Sac. Cur. I. Ty.
GiphyShe NEEDS male attention at all time which means whenever I leave the apartment she is flirting with some guy online.
Kinda hard to keep this a secret when you're living together...
GiphyHe was seeing someone else at the same time as me.
Crack is whack, especially when you omit losing your kids because of it.
He used to be into drugs. No big deal, I can't smoke because of my job, but it's not my place to judge if someone else does.
He conveniently left out the part where he lost custody of his kids (less than a week before we started dating) for smoking crack.
Sun Tea
GiphyThat he was a totally self-absorbed. Oh, and that he peed in bottles when be was too lazy to go pee and then left them around the bedroom. F*cking heinous.
Another day, another teenage catfishing story.
GiphyHe lied about everything. We started out long distance as pen pals (mid 90s before everyone was online). After a lot of phone calls, letters, etc. We finally met IRL when he came to visit me.
First lie, he looked nothing like he described. Fine I can forgive that. We ended up getting our own place and he just kept piling up lies. He talked me into going out to CA where his family was from. Here are some things he lied about.
His real name. His brother being a half brother. His past relationships. His family's living conditions.
And he got away with all this lying because English was his families 2nd language and they never spoke it at home. I was always in the dark. Even if one of them wanted to say something to me, they'd say it to him and he'd tell me. They could all speak English, but they wouldn't talk to me. It was a hard lesson. But luckily I learned it as a teenager and it taught me a lot about what red flags to look watch out for.
Leave the tuna alone.
GiphyHis penchant for throwing tuna cans when angry.
Had to pay for the dent he left in the metal closet door when our lease was up. Was happy to pay, though, because that can missed my head by millimeters.
Daddy issues to the extreme.
GiphyGay and wanted to regularly have sex with my father. This one was held in till we got married. Noped the f*ck out.
Professional-level interloping.
GiphyI didn't know he was moving in. He was a friend's roommate when we met but one night he came over and just didn't leave. I asked my friend about it and they had kicked him out for being an alcoholic, screaming at like 2 a.m. and urinating in the neighbors yard. When he came back from work, I had his bag packed and told him to GTFO.
What living with me is like...
GiphyWe dated off and on for 5 months. We spent most of the time out, home time was Netflix tv series we both liked. Great times and thought I found the one.
Once she moved in it was 14 hours a day of political "news" and opinion shows which would leak into every conversation we had about any subject. The entire DVR was filled within 2 weeks with the CNN and MSNBC 6 hours of evening politics shows. Delete one to make room for something and she knew within a few hours. It was creepy obsessive, she kept a notebook with tv schedules of those shows, with tightly planned viewing times and recordings to maximize being able to watch and record it all.
There was no hint of this when I asked her to move in. We agreed on most political issues to, but it's not something I want to discuss often. So glad when she moved out. It was so frustrating to have to cringe every time you speak a sentence because you know her next words are, "I know you don't like politics but..."
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.