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Moving in with your significant other is a big step in a relationship, and it can reveal hidden truths about your partner that you didn't know were there. For example, some people don't mind living in squalor. Or they're catfishing you and even after they aren't who they say they are, you move in with them anyway (WTF).


kingrazor001 asked, [Serious] What deal-breaker did you not know about your SO until after you started living together?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

kingrazor001

It's not that hard to say you're sorry.

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She couldn't say "sorry." Dated for years and she could never admit she made a mistake. Like one time she got something out of my car at night and somehow left the passenger door open. It rained and the passenger seat got soaked; car smelled like mildew after that for as long as I owned it. I was really upset when it happened because the car was literally a week old, but the best she could do was make a joke about how a deer must have broken into my car and then not talk to me for a whole day.

dogen83

Gross.

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He doesn't mind dirt. I'm not obsessed with a spotless house, but poo on the toilet bowl? Dust so thick you can't read the buttons on the TV? He was fine with that. He couldn't stand a single messy pile of clutter but didn't care much about filth. It was so odd for me, his house was always spotless when I came to visit. When we moved in together I realized he only bothered with that if someone he wasn't comfortable with was coming over.

I knew it was probably bad when I picked up one of his two pairs of work pants and made a comment about how I was washing them because they were rather rank, to which he replied "oh. That's because I haven't washed them since I bought them"

He gets uniform allowance in July. It was December.

Auntie_Ahem

I had to read this one twice.

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A female friend of mine moved in with a guy who seemed totally normal. Then a large delivery of adult sized nappies/ diapers arrived. She stuck with it. Then he insisted on wearing them, and she stuck with it. He insisted on pissing in them and getting her to change it. Dear readers, she stuck with it. She had a hip operation and couldn't get upstairs quickly enough to meet his demands and the whole thing fell down. What some people will put up with.

wotsname123

Being in a relationship is more than just sharing rent...

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I kinda knew it beforehand, as he needed time to himself all the time and we only saw each other on weekends. But only after we moved in together I realized how much time he really needed to himself. I basically never saw him and it felt more like we were roommates.

I get how you need alone-time and time to unwind after work (I mean, so do I), but never really seeing your partner wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted.

Ayve_Butterscotch

He sealed the front door shut... why??

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We dated for a year before moving in together but I didn't know just how weird this guy was until I was with him 24/7. He was always doing really strange things, rearranging furniture while I was out, moving my stuff and not telling me where he put it, pissing in beer bottles and leaving them by the TV... one time he used foam sealant to seal the front door shut and we could only use the back door until we finally got it back open. He never made an effort to get to know my family and lied about his own father dying. I eventually was like, okay, I'm outtie and moved back home and the next day he totaled the car that was in my name and immediately went out and bought a new one. When I was living with him he said he was broke and living off of credit cards, but he had apparently had a stash of money he didn't want to tell me about. Weird dude.

DepressedNotCrazy

In. Sac. Cur. I. Ty.

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She NEEDS male attention at all time which means whenever I leave the apartment she is flirting with some guy online.

anon9597

Kinda hard to keep this a secret when you're living together...

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He was seeing someone else at the same time as me.

moolandra

Crack is whack, especially when you omit losing your kids because of it.

He used to be into drugs. No big deal, I can't smoke because of my job, but it's not my place to judge if someone else does.

He conveniently left out the part where he lost custody of his kids (less than a week before we started dating) for smoking crack.

iliketosnuggle

Sun Tea

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That he was a totally self-absorbed. Oh, and that he peed in bottles when be was too lazy to go pee and then left them around the bedroom. F*cking heinous.

allsaintspay

Another day, another teenage catfishing story.

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He lied about everything. We started out long distance as pen pals (mid 90s before everyone was online). After a lot of phone calls, letters, etc. We finally met IRL when he came to visit me.

First lie, he looked nothing like he described. Fine I can forgive that. We ended up getting our own place and he just kept piling up lies. He talked me into going out to CA where his family was from. Here are some things he lied about.

His real name. His brother being a half brother. His past relationships. His family's living conditions.

And he got away with all this lying because English was his families 2nd language and they never spoke it at home. I was always in the dark. Even if one of them wanted to say something to me, they'd say it to him and he'd tell me. They could all speak English, but they wouldn't talk to me. It was a hard lesson. But luckily I learned it as a teenager and it taught me a lot about what red flags to look watch out for.

SaebraK

Leave the tuna alone.

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His penchant for throwing tuna cans when angry.

Had to pay for the dent he left in the metal closet door when our lease was up. Was happy to pay, though, because that can missed my head by millimeters.

PanickedPoodle

Daddy issues to the extreme.

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Gay and wanted to regularly have sex with my father. This one was held in till we got married. Noped the f*ck out.

vrosej10

Professional-level interloping.

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I didn't know he was moving in. He was a friend's roommate when we met but one night he came over and just didn't leave. I asked my friend about it and they had kicked him out for being an alcoholic, screaming at like 2 a.m. and urinating in the neighbors yard. When he came back from work, I had his bag packed and told him to GTFO.

Bootywhisper

What living with me is like...

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We dated off and on for 5 months. We spent most of the time out, home time was Netflix tv series we both liked. Great times and thought I found the one.

Once she moved in it was 14 hours a day of political "news" and opinion shows which would leak into every conversation we had about any subject. The entire DVR was filled within 2 weeks with the CNN and MSNBC 6 hours of evening politics shows. Delete one to make room for something and she knew within a few hours. It was creepy obsessive, she kept a notebook with tv schedules of those shows, with tightly planned viewing times and recordings to maximize being able to watch and record it all.

There was no hint of this when I asked her to move in. We agreed on most political issues to, but it's not something I want to discuss often. So glad when she moved out. It was so frustrating to have to cringe every time you speak a sentence because you know her next words are, "I know you don't like politics but..."

riverboats

Do. Your. Laundry.

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Never putting clothes away. Clean, dirty, it all goes on the floor!

ddasilva884

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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