People Reveal What Minor Inconvenient Curse They'd Put On Their Enemies
[rebelmouse-image 18348806 is_animated_gif=Pettiness is an art form, and some of us are beautifully skilled artists. If you've ever found yourself daydreaming about ways to just really, really annoy someone you don't like while not actually causing them any harm - you're probably a Picasso of petty. You're not alone. One Reddit user asked:
What small curse would you put on your worst enemy to mildly inconvenience them, but eventually drive them insane?
Honestly, we hope we never get on any of these people's bad sides ... or that they never have the power to actually curse anyone, because WOW. Also, we're a little concerned with how satisfying we found that whole mouse-click curse. So good. Such revenge.
No Green
[rebelmouse-image 18355642 is_animated_gif=I would curse them to never hit a green light, and to make it worse they could see the green light and never, ever get to it in time.
What Is Time?
[rebelmouse-image 18355643 is_animated_gif=Every clock shows them the time they think it is, rather than the time it actually is. The idea of living with this gets worse the longer you think about this. You'd have to have other people tell you the current time in order to calibrate yourself constantly.
That Unscratchable Itch
[rebelmouse-image 18355645 is_animated_gif=That their butthole itches every time they're in public. You think you can just ignore the itch and it will go away. You clench your cheeks to try and satiate the itch, but nothing relieves it. You scratch your anus and people look at you with disgust.
A Little Mouse-take
[rebelmouse-image 18355646 is_animated_gif=The time between their mouse cursor stopping and their click, their cursor jumps 1/2" in a random direction on any device they're operating.
False Alarm
[rebelmouse-image 18355647 is_animated_gif=They must "false-alarm sneeze" 7 times a day at random intervals.
Cotton Eyed Joe
[rebelmouse-image 18355648 is_animated_gif=Cotton Eyed Joe will play wherever they go, on any radio or speaker.
"Cotton Eyed Joe plays wherever they go,
On any speaker or radio,
Wherever they come from, wherever they go,
All they'll hear is Cotton Eyed Joe."
Popcorn
[rebelmouse-image 18355649 is_animated_gif=Every time they eat popcorn a kernel bit gets stuck between their tooth and their gums in a really hard to reach spot.
Right Shoe Lace
[rebelmouse-image 18355650 is_animated_gif=No matter how often, no matter the material they were made out of, no matter how well or double or triple tied they were, use of glue or any mechanical restraint, their right shoelace will always - within 30-90 minutes - come untied.
Third Time's A Charm
[rebelmouse-image 18355652 is_animated_gif=Every little thing they do that they have a 50/50 chance of getting right first try (such as plugging in a USB, putting a key into a lock in the dark, putting in L/R earbuds, etc.) they would get wrong their first try. And the second try. And the third time would be right, even though they'd already tried that way the first time.
Bells
[rebelmouse-image 18355654 is_animated_gif=Every time he opens his mouth to speak, he hears the sound of loud clanging bells. Only he can hear it, so he is always talking really loud and shouting over the "sound" of the bells. People start to avoid him because he is always weirdly screaming at others, he loses his job because he has zero communication skills anymore and he eventually goes nuts because he can't cope with the fact that no one else can hear them.
H/T: Reddit
The Best Responses If A Christian Claims 'You're Going To Hell' For Not Conforming With Their Beliefs
In spite of the separation of church and state and the fact that anyone should be able to freely practice any religion they choose, an ever-increasing number of far-right conservatives have used their Christian beliefs to espouse hatred and bigotry.
An all too common attack they utilize is telling someone who disagrees with them that they're "going to Hell."
Unfortunately, this prediction rarely leads people to quake in their boots as was intended.
And instead, they're the ones who often find themselves at a loss for words when the people they verbally attack have a comeback line all prepared.
"What's the best response to a Christian saying 'you're going to hell'?"
How Else Would They Know?
"'See you later!'"
"A skater boi dropped this one on holy rollers in college, the rest of us thought it was absolutely brilliant."- Ishidan01
"See you there then."- CuddleDemon04
He's Always Listening...
"It makes Jesus sad when you say that"- OperationBackground2
Can I You Show Me On A Map?
“'Where?'”
"Act like you’ve never heard of it—concede none of the authority or credibility they are used to having."
"'What do you mean, after I die—how can I go somewhere after I die, I’ll be dead?'"
"'My what?'"
"'Do you see these souls often, friend, is one in the room right now?'"- RidesThe7
Some People Have Heard Worse...
"Shrug, say 'Ok' , and walk away."
"You not caring riles them up even more."- ExRetribution
I See It Differently
"Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion man."- EnvironmentalPack451
Animation Disagree GIF by Moving Picture ShowGiphyWhen Was The Last Time You Actually Read A Bible?
"Judge not, that you be not judged."
"For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you."
"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"
"Matthew 7, 1-3."- Aas-im-Aermel
“'Live a good life'."
"'If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by'."
"'If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them'."
"'If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones'.― Marcus Aurelius."- Trygolds
"I thought God is the only judge of our soul?"
"Who are you to take his place?"
"It's better to attack them using their own teachings and beliefs that contradict their statement."- ZaiJianDada
Bible GIF by GlorifyAppGiphyTell Me Something I Don't Know...
"Aren't we all already here?"- YaMa-Ma
When The High Road Doesn't Seem To work...
"The Australian thing to say is "Get f*cked c*nt!"- IllTruck3645·
Give Them A Taste Of Their Own Medicine
"According to your God, so are you for doing his job and judging."- Reddit
Episode 5 Burn In Hell GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySay. Nothing...
"Stare at them blankly and don't hide your confusion."
"Don't say anything."
"Let them talk."
"They will keep talking, and the more they talk, the more uncomfortable they will make themselves."
"If they ask you any direct questions, don't answer them, just keep looking more and more puzzled."
"At the very most, shrug in total confusion."
"Do your best quizzical dog impression."
"They will give up and walk away, and regardless of how they try to seem outwardly, they will feel defeated, and question whether being an enormous a**hole is worth it."
"It may not last once they get back into their bubble of people who think that's a great way to act, but realistically, it's the only way to fight back."
"The minute you engage with them at all, you lose."
"Any comeback feeds into the victim complex inherently baked into Christianity."
"The only winning move is not to play."- PowermanFriendship
Will Ferrell Blank Stare GIFGiphyIt can be very easy to judge others.
But one can't help but stifle their laughter at those who judge others for not being as devoutly Christian as they are.
As they are all but literally going against the beliefs they are supposedly practicing.
Life is chuck full of annoyances.
Every day, in every way there is something or someone ready to set the rest of us off.
This is why we need meds, therapy, and chamomile tea.
When the simplest things can send you into a blind rage, you need a little relaxer.
But what is it about these small things that can cause such a stir?
I mean the world hasn't ended, but it feels like it.
Let's discuss...
Redditor ItzFlexyBoi wanted to discuss all of the things that drive us crazy, so they asked:
"What is a mildly inconvenient thing that annoys the hell out of you?"
I can't stand when business hours differ in person than what is listed online.
How does that happen?!
Get UP!
Dropping Michael Scott GIF by Prime Video UKGiphy"When I drop something small onto the floor and have to pick it up. I've completely turned into my father. I usually roll my eyes, sigh as I bend down to pick it up, and then growl angrily when it takes a couple of tries to actually pick it up."
JMCrown
I'm NOT Done!!
"When a motion sensor sink turns off before I’m done with it."
YourSecretSidepiece
"When I was little I hated the concept of taking a crap in the supermarket because I did one time and the automatic toilet flushed twice while sitting on it. Don’t get me wrong, automatic toilets are a great concept, reduce germ spread through touching a handle and whatnot, and they suck in execution."
"Update: used an auto toilet at a highway rest stop and it flushed while I was peeing in it. Damn."
Tra1nGuy
Wire Snap
"Getting wired earphones caught on a handle and having them ripped out of your head. I instantly rage."
CalvinSays
"This used to happen to my husband in our old house, mainly with pockets of pants. I never really understood how maddening this could be since I'm shorter and it didn't happen to me."
"We moved and now in our new place, this happens to me because the handles are at my pockets' height instead of his. I suddenly understand his past frustration at this small thing!"
spinozasnodgrass
Where is the HELP?
"Please remove the item from the basket, please add the item to the basket, and please wait for assistance."
Rollthembones1989
"What they do now also is there will be different bays with about 6 self-checkouts per bay. Instead of having one employee watching each bay checking IDs, helping out, etc, they will have one employee watching 20+ self-check-out machines frantically running from one person needing help to another."
Rollthembones1989
Trickles
Water Se Laver GIF by Benjamin SiksouGiphy"Washing your face in the bathroom sink and the water trickling down your arms towards your elbows."
AlgernonZX
Seriously. Why does water want to splash all over us, all of the time?
NOOOOO!!!!!
Angry Rooster Teeth GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"Charging your phone and sleeping then find out that it wasn’t charging overnight and it’s about to die."
Aquahert
"The wooooorst."
Milfshake23
Not Again
"Having to wait 3 extra seconds for YouTube ads every time I want to watch a 30-second video."
JoyIsDumb
"My biggest pet peeve is getting the same ads over and over again. Sometimes I have to close my eyes and mute the audio/look away because after seeing the same ad 100 times it feels like a torture technique out of a CIA manual."
DroidLord
"Even worse when it’s two 15-second unskippable ads."
Tra1nGuy
1 ITEM Issues!
"Leaving something in the other room and remembering I need it after I sit down."
Preszidenmt
"Sitting down and your drink/remote/phone etc... is just slightly out of reach so you have to stand up again."
Robinho311
"I do that with the grocery store. Driving home when I remember 1 item that I went for and forgot."
Famous_Bit_5119
"My husband can NEVER tell me everything he needs from downstairs at once. So I end up making 4 trips."
Rahallahan
Lane Chick
"Getting in the wrong (slowest) checkout line."
PongoWillHelpYou
"I ALWAYS get in the line where someone wants to pay in change, needs to cash a check, or doesn’t know how to use a card reader. Every. Time."
musteatpoptarts
"Nothing like stopping at a gas station on your way to work only to get stuck behind the guy who's buying 75 lottery tickets."
TaintedLye
"Or switching lanes and you end up in one that's even slower."
DeathSpiral321
MOVE!!
Giphy"Slow walkers and people who stop walking in the middle of a crowded area and don't move despite people being behind them. Head to a wall or seat and check your phone there, don't just stop walking in the middle of a crowd. FFS."
NeonSugarSorbet
Library Volume Please
"People who listen to things in public areas without headphones. PLEASE I do not want to hear whatever crappy TikTok you're watching."
starrfast
"My partner does this ALL THE TIME!!! We could be watching something together and she'll pull out her phone and start watching TikTok."
"And she doesn't seem to think it's rude. One time she did that and I paused what we were watching and said 'I didn't wanna interrupt.' Another time I changed it altogether since she wasn't interested."
"But if I glance at my phone once I'm 'on my phone a lot.'"
AnytimeInvitation
I approve of every item on this list.
But like I said, I'm easily annoyed.
Even if you weren't alive, chances are, you know about Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin being the first two people to ever walk on the moon. In fact, you may know someone who was alive when it happened and watched it on TV.
The fact is, an estimated 530 million people watched the moon landing on TV, and yet, some people still think its fake.
There is a conspiracy theory out there that says we faked the moon landing to convince the Russians that the United States had won the space race! It's crazy, strange, and most of all, stupid. The proof is in the pudding (or in the American flag Armstrong planted on the moon).
Redditors know of lots of stupid conspiracy theories, and they are only too eager to share!
It all started when Redditor willywonkerbonker asked:
"What is the stupidest conspiracy theory?"
Flat, Flatter, Flattest
"That the earth is flat"
"Edit: I have come to the conclusion that the earth is in fact the shape of a doughnut."
"Second edit: I have come to my second conclusion to the fact that mars is indeed a chocolate bar"
– CivilVolume
Tracker
"Microchip in vaccines. If the government wanted to spy on you, they could do it a thousand times easier by tapping your phone."
– Nikola_Turing
"Anybody with a smart phone voluntarily agreed to be tracked and followed 24/7 the moment they turned it on haha"
"lol people are so silly.."
– BeginningCap2333
It's A Bird, It's A Plane!
"That planes can't actually fly because the claimed weight of fuel cannot fit into the size of the tanks and even if it did, it would make the plane too heavy to fly."
– teefau
"If planes aren't flying... How do people fly in planes and get out the other side....."
– ftmtxyz
They've Already Won
"I'm from the UK and the theories about this alarm system the government are putting on the phones is wild."
– _Rare_Smoke_
"“They’re doing it to control us!!!” They’re the government. They govern you. They are the law makers. They already control you. They don’t need to make a big conspiracy to do that."
– Mushroomc0wz
6 Continents
"That Australia does not exist"
– germany_science_1
"They say that everyone in Australia are payed actors. If that’s true then where is my bloody check?!"
– Drunky_the_Snowman
"Still waiting on mine"
– willywonkerbonker
My Cat, My Choice
"A former friend and mentor called me up one day and said that she read somewhere that pets in America consume more meat than the entire country of France. And since raising livestock is bad for the environment, the article said liberals want all pets destroyed. That's why she lives in a red state and has so many guns, to protect her cats from the liberals. I asked her to send me that article but she never did."
– Squatchopotamus
"Pretty sure pets are loved by liberals and conservatives alike lol. At least, all the ppl I know in both sides have at least a goldfish."
– Jessiefrance89
Famous Clones
"That Avril Lavigne was replaced with a look alike, as if aging and plastic surgery aren’t things."
– babythrottlepop
"This has been going on since Paul McCartney was accused of being cloned. Look up the Paul Is Dead theory"
"After that it was Eminem"
"Now Avril"
"Soon will probably be Justin Beiber or Kid Laroi or something."
– Fun-Adhesiveness9219
True Freedom
"The idea that "walkable cities" is some NWO/WEF plot to "control" people and keep them confined to small areas."
"Walkable cities is how most cities, and even many suburbs and small towns, used to be. My mother grew up in South Boston in the 60s and 70s, and she points out how she had almost everything her family needed within a 5-10 walk of her house: grocery stores, delis, banks, pharmacies, corner stores, schools (two on her block and one across the street), liquor store, boutique, shoe store, toy store, post office, candy and ice cream, barbers and hairstylists, playgrounds and parks, bars and restaurants, repair shop, hardware store, a family doctor, a dentist, laundromat, coffee and donuts, and pizza."
"More was reachable by bike, the rest of Boston by public transportation, and her father and friends had cars to go elsewhere...they just didn't need to use their cars to go everywhere, because the basics were readily accessible to them. But sure, being wholly reliant on cars and having to shell over tens of thousands of dollars to auto makers and oil CEOs to spend time idling in traffic just for the basic necessities and daily services of life, that's Freedom™."
– Dahhhkness
"I lived for a year in the city centre of Munich, I had every type of shop and restaurant within walking distance, everything else was connected by a super cheap and reliable tram, bus and subway system. Parking was a premium and people with cars tended to only really use them to go out to the countryside or if they worked in a space outside the city slightly too far from a train station."
"It was expensive but nowhere near London levels for example. And not needing a car frees up a lot of income."
–Wind_Yer_Neck_In
Gone But Not Forgotten
"All the “dead celebrity is secretly alive” crap."
"2Pac and Biggie were both peppered with bullets with multiple witnesses and you think they faked it?"
"Michael Jackson, the biggest singles artist in modern music and arguably the most famous person alive at the time, is still going somewhere and left his family in mourning?"
"Don’t even get me started on the Elvis gang…"
– International_Ant217
Truly Real
"Thinking that "global warming" was just invented to raise taxes, or whatever. It is so massively stupid to think that all governments and serious scientists, scientific institutions, etc - worldwide - is in on some conspiracy, to what.. raise your taxes? They could do that anyway..."
"The flat earth, no moon landings, etc - that's all for people who simply aren't all that bright to begin with - but the fake global warming conspiracy is widely believed, and accepted in mainstream politics even. Doesn't get much more stupid than that."
– normalguy_AMA
"I love how global warming deniers think that climate scientists are all swimming in piles of research grant money like Scrooge McDuck, but fossil fuel CEOs are honest, salt-of-the-earth people whose only passion in life is making sure people have jobs."
– Dahhhkness
We Are Needed
"That vaccines are an intentional plot to kill people. This isn't a Marvel movie. We don't need to get rid of large segments of the population. The 1% need us alive, buying things, and providing the services they depend on, like cheeseburgers and trash removal and truck driving."
– notreallylucy
All Aboout Lizards
"The “meteor” that hit earth was actually a spaceship that the dinosaurs left on so they could avoid the ice age. They sent back lizard people to purposely control industries and warm up the earth back to the dinosaur’s ideal temperature. The lizard people are purposely trying to invoke nuclear wars to clear the landscape again for dinosaurs."
– Element202
Uh...Where Did This One Even Come From?
"Birds aren’t real. The US government systematically eradicated and replaced all birds with surveillance drones in the FIFTIES."
– w0lfn0ise
People don't actually believe that...do they?
Money makes the world go round.
It contributes to the betterment of society.
Well, that is what we're led to believe, right?
That is why so many of these big billion-dollar companies get fabulous tax breaks.
But sadly so many big-money jobs only help themselves.
In fact, a lot of fancy, money careers only focus on the green and not the people.
Redditor ThurnisHailey wanted to discuss the careers that leave little to help the world, so they asked:
"What high-paying jobs contribute very little to society/humanity?"
Anti-Robinhood
Real Estate Realtor GIF by South ParkGiphy"My sister makes a lot of money in real estate. She helps rich people get even richer."
Ieatalot2004
"To be fair, most jobs are helping rich people get richer."
nBrainwashed
Useless
"As a marketing manager, I can tell you I have one of the most useless jobs in the world."
erose994
"What do you actually do as a marketing manager? I'm just curious."
bertolintus
"Mostly wrangle the opinions of 8,000 people who all think a project should be executed differently and all feel like it needs to be done yesterday. And pass that project through a complicated and overly bureaucratic system of approvals until it inevitably stalls out in a VP's inbox, and you have to send them 3 reminder emails just to get it done."
"Other than that... Talking to agencies (at least where I work, we outsource our graphic design, social media, and advertising work to third parties), building annual strategies, planning social media and email content, and occasionally getting to do something fun like writing a blog post."
"Oh, and managing budgets. But it's budgeting season right now so that's a touchy subject."
erose994
Data Collection
"Some of the best-paid people are figuring out how to collect as much data about you as possible to show you the best adverts. Or how to shave off milliseconds off a trading decision and build better arbitrage strategies to buy and sell the same thing millions of times."
Weak_Commercial_7124
The Middle
"IT middle management. I always thought they did nothing, then I was promoted to one and now I can actually confirm it."
"Do nothing, contribute nothing. Worthless."
RedditWhileImWorking
"I honestly think middle management is all about what you make it. If you're motivated and WANT to make things happen for the better, I think you generally can, but it's also very easy as a middle manager to just maintain the status quo and literally do nothing but collect a paycheck."
TinaBelchersBF
Complicated
people love GIFGiphy"Hospital administration. Obviously, hospitals are important and are complicated systems that need proper management, but any doctor, nurse, etc. can tell you that hospital admins aren't exactly looking out for your health and safety."
dancingbanana123
It's sad to learn hospitals are a scam. Tragic.
Office Time
Staring Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Administrators who spend a lot of time inside an office in calls or meetings but have very little to do with the hands-on work that actually advances stuff."
Ukhupa
Dirt
"I'm using a burner account. I'm a political strategy advisor which is code for opposition researcher. I work for a federal government party in my country. I research for gossip or dirt on our political opponents and feed stories to the media to disparage them and have us win elections. I feel all I do is make people more disenchanted with politics."
Clean-Elephant9363
Moochers
"During the pandemic, didn't you notice that the 'essential workers' were often paid minimum wage? Seems like the important jobs that actually keep everything running are not being paid much at all, most of the time. All the value of their labor is being sucked out of them by the wealthy moochers who just happen to own the company but never do any work."
Pipboypipboycheerio
Liars
dominic cooper preacher GIF by Amazon Prime Video UKGiphy"Megachurch preachers are evil AF."
MpVpRb
"The fleecing of gullible sheep is a story as old as humanity."
wittie2
Well, people certainly had some feeling about these career paths. What do you think? Do you have anything to add?