Parents do the best they can. At least most parents do... we pray. We learn from them how to go forward in life. Sometimes our parents are wrong and sometimes we learn the exact wrong things. The eternal battle of nature versus nurture is a real issue. Each generation grows and changes and pretty radically these days. We often have to differ from the lessons and beliefs our parents bestowed upon us. And that is easier said then done!
Redditor u/RealAppearance wanted people to divulge a few things about their learned behaviors by asking... What did your parents teach you that you had to unlearn?
Even though I'm a leftie, they insisted that I write with my right hand. They were convinced that it was the "normal thing to do."
It was a huge struggle writing with my right hand, as every impulse told me to use the left. Finally, as an adult, I learned to write with my left hand. It came so naturally that I never used the right again. Back2Bach
For the love of God... USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL!!!
That you don't have to use your turn signal if there's no one behind you. Got pulled over by a cop that was just sitting in his car on the side of the road. imarealgrampa
My mom doesn't use a turn signal for any reason, and she even changes lanes without looking sometimes. So one time I bugged her about using the signal and she said she didn't want the other drivers to know where she was going. TheRoseByAnotherName
You got to have friends....Giphy
How to not make friends.
It was always emphasized that friends are meaningless and we should stick to ourselves and not talk to anyone else. Now, it's hard to make friends and keep them, or even have meaningful relationships with other people. flecka22
I have the same problem but in a different way. I was raised by my mom and grandparents, no siblings. I was never discouraged from making friends but I was never encouraged either. I didn't know anything but my toys and eventually video games. I was never "pushed" to try out for any activity. Also lived in a very rural part of town so there was no one around for me to hang out with.
So I became a huge loner. Always have been, always will be. I learned social skills eventually but still not extremely well. DrGiggleFr1tz
Learned from my dad how to be non confrontational because of his explosive anger. I've come to realize not everyone gets irrationally angry when you confront them so I'm working on that. YANMDM
Yeah that's relatable. It's fascinating how many anti-confrontational people I've come across with volatile/narcissistic fathers. What's really interesting is I wouldn't even say my dad was abusive or a bad person, and yet I definitely had to walk on eggshells around him. yoitsthew
I know of which I speak!
My mother has a habit about talking about things like she's an expert. It wasn't until I hit my late teens she would make it up without having proven or factual read about anything. Also she's really gullible when it comes to polite people in administration. I've learned to question everything. Jgalayd
Money Changes Everything...Giphy
Whatever happens, don't spend money. It was a breakthrough in therapy when I figured out that if I have a problem, and I can fix it by buying something I can afford, then it's ok to buy things. planetheck
Money is a tool. Nothing more nothing less. People have an unhealthy attitude toward it. No one would have the attitude they have towards money towards a shovel. Zardecillion
Eric and Jimmy and.... Jolene?
My parents never wanted to listen to kids music so they would change song lyrics and just sing them loudly over the songs when I was in the car. The most notable was the Jimmy Buffet song that goes "why don't we get drunk and screw" which they changed to "why don't we get lunch at school."
I was 20 before I finally figured out Jimmy wasn't interested in eating hot lunch on a water bed and Eric Clapton wasn't actually singing about hanging out with a woman named Jolene. foxykittenn
Cleanliness is next to Godliness...
I love my mom, but she wasn't and still isn't the most attentive housekeeper. I never really realized it until I was much older. I lived like a total slob for a long time. Then I met my ex with whom I have a son. She was/is a freaking cleanliness nazi.
It rubbed off though, because now I'm just as bad. I never realized how good having a very clean home is for your mental well-being. Theearthhasnoedges
Life is Rough...
It took decades to (mostly) de-normalize emotional abuse / gaslighting. In my ignorance, I hurt many people I care(d) for deeply. Cheftard
I cry a lot realizing the people I hurt when I myself was hurting due to these things. We are better people by acknowledging it and trying to be better. ambann15
As you said, you're a cut above the rest of understanding that it is toxic behavior and working on it. Many internet hugs to you, stay strong. WhineyVegetable
To try to finish people's sentences. My mom would sometimes get lost/stuck in the middle of her sentence so my sisters and I would finish the sentence for her since we could usually guess what she was trying to say. But for most people, this would just be annoying. SmartAlec105
How am "I" the normal one?
Bunch of stuff about what a burden I was.
They also convinced me that I was an ungrateful person who couldn't feel gratitude, and I believed that until probably my mid-20s. eight-sided
I often wondered why I'm able to be so patient with everyone else (friends and even strangers) but with my close family (parents and brother) I always get easily angered at them, and afterwards they call me a jerk, sociopath, ungrateful piece of crap and other mean stuff.
Just recently I've learnt that my house is full of narcissists who've manipulated each other and me all their life, and that explains all the self doubt and negativity. I still wonder how I turned out normal, or maybe I am not but don't even realize it. user7526
Respond with anger to anything going wrong. Cunninghamslawyer
Wish my dad would unlearn this. Cylon_Toast
I didn't think much of my Dad's anger until I had kids. Looking into my daughter's eyes and realizing he looked into mine the same way, and made the decision to act the way he did, painted a very vivid picture about his character. Not the kind of poison I want my kids to look up to. Cunninghamslawyer
Stable isn't a dirty word...Giphy
To live life on the fly. Treat every day like your last. It's really a crappy, selfish way to live. ThanosIsInnocent
If everyone treat each day like their last it would be utter chaos. If I knew I would die tomorrow, then I would gamble my life savings and other stupid things that would get me consequences. TheBanisher967
Finish the puzzle...
If you need to know something, they'll teach it in school. Don't screw something up by trying to fix it yourself. Always call a professional. YOU have problems. WE don't have problems. Everyone else in this family is normal. That was the mentality. Whenever I would ask about that sort of thing, I was told that I was just a kid and didn't need to worry about it. Then I got criticized in my 20's for not knowing how it all worked. godsbane77
There are worse things in Life!
Directing biting, hostile comments and insults at your family every day. Catastrophizing when everyday inconveniences occur.
Defeatism/Taking everything as a cosmic sign of your bad luck. (Spilling milk on the kitchen counter and floor = "I can just never get ahead in life!" — an actual recent quote)
Ruminating over old minor slights endlessly, for years. ("Do you remember the time your grandma said insertfairlyneutralcommenthere?" No mom, I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't mean anything by it, and also that happened literally 20 years ago.) HookerMitzvah
Hot Button Issues....
That vaccines don't work, make you sick/weak/dead. Well I didn't have either, nor did my siblings. Still silly though. And I think it was sids she was worried about, then 'brain injury.' MrReyneCloud
Win at any cost!
Actual words from my dad's mouth: "Don't cheat, unless you know you'll get away with it." -spookyxghost-
It's not cheating if you don't get caught. That's fine for boardgames but not in relationships. AAA515
I think the point is that you can't know for sure that you'll get away with it. It's not something you control. Climax708
it's not all about you!
Not everyone is out to get you... life isn't about being paranoid. Hiworld1122
I think my dad has some deep seated problems with this. Any look or comment could be a slight. He recently left the church our family had been going to for 12 years and was actively involved in because he thought the sermon was ridiculing him directly. But the kicker: the new church's sermons were ALSO about him specifically even though no one there knew him or his situation. snoozecrooze
The Sun will come out tomorrow...
That you should always anticipate the absolute worst. Friend late meeting you? They're probably dead. Currently working to unlearn this in therapy. KieshaK
I walked out of a store a couple weeks ago with my mom and the sun had come out. It made me happy and I said "Yay! The sun is finally out!" She replied "well, I'm sure it won't last more than five minutes." It felt like she had just burst my little happy bubble and then I realized how negative and pessimistic she is. And it made me realize what your parent's attitude can do to you. So I want to be conscious of that with my kids. Interestingly, my one son has to write a paper on the health benefits of optimism, so it is all good timing for me. :) SunshinePumpkin
Religion is tricky....Giphy
Religion. My family is hardcore Roman Catholic, when I was younger, grade school to high school, my aunt would drag me to processions. We walk for miles holding candles while singing chants. I thought that was normal, she wanted us to follow what the church would tell us to do. When I left home for college and did my own study about religions I became agnostic and realized everything we did was weird. Still don't have the guts to tell them my religious views, they would flip. hibiscusity
The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.